Chapter Text
She was exhausted. Pushing yourself past your limits, where being tired is the only thing you can focus on leads to mistakes, and mistakes lead to…
Sae shook those thoughts out of her head. There wasn’t much she could do at this point. All that was left was to face Rin. She had to deliver the harsh truth that had infected the crevices of their naive dream. Rin would be heartbroken, but she would understand. She would .
The wind harshly bit at Sae’s face as she trudged her way through the layer of snow piling up on the ground. There was only one place where Rin would be at this time of day. Past the clearing, a figure could be seen sitting on the ground, removing her ice skates. Before Sae could say anything, Rin quickly realized she was being watched and looked back at her.
“Nee-chan, you’re back!”
Sae held back a sigh, preparing herself for Rin’s reaction to the news. “Yeah, thanks.”
Rin began to ramble about the measures she had taken to stay in peak condition, the things she had achieved with her current partner although, it’s not the same as skating with you Nee-chan and how those years apart had led her through so much self-growth and there was still that same stupid hope in Rin’s eyes going on about how amazing Sae was and—
“Hey Rin.”
She stopped once she realized how somber her older sister appeared. She seemed drained, and thinner. Dark circles placed emphasis on the coldness in her eyes.
“My time abroad,” Sae dug her nails into her palms, “made me realize the extent of talent that exists out in the world. There’s skaters out there that are way better than me…”
Sae could see the confusion flashing across Rin’s features. There was no turning back now, it was best to just rip the bandaid off in one go.
“I’ve changed my dream, I…instead of becoming the best figure skating pair together, I will become the best solo skater in the world. We may not be able skate together but we can still—”
Rin was starting to shake, and it wasn’t from the cold.
“What are you talking about, what’s the point if we can’t do this at each other’s side?”
Sae could feel that old, exhausting anger flicker against her insides. She was tired. She was so tired. And the one person who she thought would understand, wasn’t getting it.
“Shut up. You’re only saying that because you don’t know how—”
Rin started yelling about how they were meant to fight together, how they were supposed to become the best figure skating pair in the world and how it couldn’t be possible if Sae decided to focus on her solo career for now. How could they build up their reputation if they didn’t compete at each other’s side? She was furious. It felt like her older sister, the one she had admired from afar for so long, had gotten cold feet just as they were about to start skating together.
“Did you come back here to spout these pathetic things? I didn’t want to see you like this!” Rin did not understand. And so, she said this:
“You’re not the same sister I shared a dream with!!”
Sae felt a sharp pain in her ribcage. Her hands began to tremble at her sides.
“How…lukewarm. Rin, it seems you don’t yet realize that the world of figure skating is a battlefield. What have you even been doing during the time I was gone?”
Rin once again tried explaining, about how hard she had been working, about how she got scouted just like Sae just so that they could become the best in the world. With each word she would say, Rin saw how Sae appeared to be less and less convinced.
“But now you’re saying we’re done? If I can’t chase our dream together with you then…” Sae watched as Rin could no longer look her in the face, “...I don’t have any reason to figure skate at all.”
No.
This isn’t what Sae had wanted for Rin. Whatever Rin wanted, she could achieve it. Why did she have to rely on Sae’s existence to keep fighting? Why did everything always fall back onto Sae?
Why was it her fault? She was sick and tired of everyone telling her what she should do, of being seen as wasted potential, of shaping and twisting herself to make everyone else happy. What about what she wanted?
Sae felt empty.
“Then fucking quit.” Rin looked up at her in shock. Sae’s eyes were full of nothing but anger.
“Did you want me to console you or something?” Sae let out a harsh scoff. “Don’t use me as your reason to figure skate ever again.”
Rin didn’t even know what to feel. Something inside her sister had changed; she seemed so out of reach now.
"I don't have any intentions of performing with someone as lukewarm as you…you’re not necessary in my life anymore, Rin," she spat, her back turned toward her sister.
And then, Sae kept walking forward. She didn't want to see Rin's expression.
---
At this point in their lives, the relationship between Itoshi Sae and her younger sister could only be described as something like…reluctant tolerance.
Their parents couldn't understand the drastic change between the two of them, and they didn't even attempt to involve themselves, brushing it off as simple sibling rivalry.
Sae decided that the best way to handle this situation was to move on and nurture her solo career, pushing herself and succeeding in becoming one of the most well-known figure skaters in Japan. Rin also decided to move on in her own, “healthy” way.
She refused to collaborate with anyone in hopes that someday her older sister would look back at her, see her, and come to the realization that there was no one better than her. Pairs skating for nationals had been their dream as kids, and at this point, it was apparent that it would remain as such. If Rin couldn't be with Sae, then she would destroy her.
But no matter what she did, Sae always seemed to be miles ahead in performance, in athleticism, in capability. Rin was always seen as Itoshi Sae’s little sister. She wanted to change that.
The snow sparkled brilliantly under the morning sun; Sae gently blew some warmth into her hands as she cut through the center of the park.
The sound of ice being scraped and loud cursing made her stop in her tracks.
"Oh he's going to pay for this. Horribly. When I get my hands on him again I'm going to..." The wind carried away the rest of the stranger's sentence.
Sae hated wasting time, but she also wanted to know who that voice belonged to.
As she made her way over, an interesting scene came into view before her. There was a girl standing at the center of the frozen lake, shivering slightly as she rubbed at her own legs in an attempt to warm them up. Her obnoxiously pink skates matched the pink tips of her blonde hair, which contrasted heavily against the pale ice.
The girl was tall and tanned, and her physique spoke for itself. This wasn't someone who had taken up ice skating just for fun. Sae hadn't realized she had been staring until bright, pink eyes met her gaze. The girl raised a thin, blonde eyebrow.
"Who the hell are you?"
Sae didn't really feel like introducing herself.
"Why are you out here? These aren't exactly optimal practicing conditions." As if to emphasize her point, snowflakes begin to fall from the sky.
The stranger's eyes narrowed, and she skated towards the edge of the lake until she stood a couple of feet away from Sae.
"Let's just say that if my beautiful self shows up at the place I used to go to they would throw me out...again."
Sae was intrigued, but she was not going to press for any further information. She hated wasting time, after all.
"Come with me."
The stranger stared at her silently, wariness in her eyes. There was also a hint of curiousity.
"Why?" She was already stepping off ice, untying her skates' shoelaces in order to put on her boots.
Sae turned around to lead the way.
"I'll take you to a place where you can skate as freely as you'd like."
She didn't have to look back to confirm that the stranger was following after her.