Work Text:
Tony tried to deflect and avoid the questions about his Christmas plans. He didn't want to admit that he planned to spend Christmas alone. Some years, he would have gone into the office to give agents with family the day off instead, but the thought of doing so felt like a sinking stone in his stomach.
He knew Abby meant well with her constant questions about what his plans were and didn't he want to reconsider joining her for x, y, or z Christmas shenanigans that she would be doing? He really wished she would just accept no for an answer. He really wasn't in the mood to be around other people for the holidays. The amount of effort it required to continue saying no to Abby was massive and it was one of the reasons she usually got her way. If she wasn't happy with your answer, she would just keep asking until she wore you down or the opportunity passed.
She'd been particularly persistent today and he'd barely managed to escape work with his life and his refusal intact. By the time he arrived home, even the thought of cooking or scrounging up a take out menu and placing an order for delivery or pickup was too much work. Instead he flopped onto his couch and half-heartedly flicked the TV on, pressing a hand over his eyes and leaning back against his couch in frustration.
"Mortal. I need your help."
Tony shot up straight and turned in the direction of the unexpected voice, finding a man wearing gold, black, and green armor that looked strangely familiar, but he couldn't place where he'd seen it before. "Who the hell are you?"
"You may call me, God, mortal."
"Yeah. So not happening. Now who are you really?"
"Fine. My name is Loki, God of Chaos at your service."
"Wait. The same Loki that led an army and tried to take over New York?"
Loki cringed. "That was a mistake."
Tony waved the explanation away. He was curious, but Loki's expression made it clear that he'd told the story way too many times for his peace of mind. "That explains why I recognize the armor you're wearing. Now, if you were here to do me harm, I feel like this conversation would have started out differently." Tony smirked. "So what do you want with me?"
"I need a plus one for one of Tony Stark's charity galas."
"And you picked me? You don't even know me."
"God of Chaos, remember?"
"Isn't there a better option like your brother Thor or one of the avengers?"
Loki scoffed. "As if I would invite any of those peons to be my plus one."
"Why me?"
"Because your chaos attracts me and the person I would normally go with is bringing someone else."
"Wait. The person you normally go with? You were dating someone and they dumped you?" Tony asked, shocked.
"No, but I am not their plus one for this event."
"Whoever they are, they're a fool."
"A fool in love, yes," Loki agreed.
"But not with you?"
"Oh I was never in love with them."
"Somehow I don't believe you." Tony murmured. "They hurt you or you wouldn't be picking up a stranger to make them jealous."
"You are very perceptive for a mortal. That's dangerous."
"And you are lying."
"I'm not," the God of Mischief actually looked hurt at that accusation.
"Not about the dangerous bit, true. The rest of it, however... It's obvious that you hold them in high esteem and you don't want to actually hurt them, but want to make them jealous."
"You think highly of yourself."
"Nah. I'm just very good with body language and recognizing what people aren't saying." Tony smirked.
"So will you come with me?"
"Now?"
"Of course, now. When else would it be?" Loki raised an eyebrow.
"You're not giving me much time to prepare."
"No need." Loki waved a hand and green light flowed out of his hands and wrapped around Tony's body slowly in a group of infinity symbols. When it returned to Loki's body, Tony stood there in a suit he'd never seen before in his life, but he had to admit it looked good.
"You don't waste time, do you?"
A similar effect covered Loki's body and a stunning black and green suit appeared. "We have places to be, if you're done procrastinating now."
"I wasn't procrastinating," Tony protested.
"I am the God of Lies, mortal. It is foolish to lie to me."
"What does that say about the person who took someone else to the event?"
"They believed I would not want to come and they did not lie about it," Loki offered matter-of-factly.
"This is your way of showing them you want to come so that they'll take you next time. I'm just a convenient mortal body to accompany you."
"You are nothing of the sort, Anthony. In fact, I think you may be just the morsel I want to lure into my bed."
Tony narrowed his eyes, well aware of who Loki usually went to such things with. "That's flattering and all and I'm not above being used to poke Tony Stark's ego, but I'm not inclined to anger someone so powerful over such a little thing."
"Oh, I promise you will enjoy yourself, mortal. Stark will not come after you."
"You better make this worth my while," Tony mumbled. God. What was his life like that supposed Norse Gods were appearing in his living room and demanding that he go to a charity event hosted by Tony Stark? The kind of event that everyone on the who's who list attended. It could literally make Tony's career or ruin it if he screwed up.
Still his eyes raked up and down Loki's form. He had some pretty nice eye candy. He'd been promised that Stark wouldn't do anything to him. He could relax and enjoy the black tie charity event. It had been a while since he hobnobbed with the rich and famous. He missed it.
He didn't miss his father and his insane expectations, but Tony had always felt at home in the crowd of sharks circling the waters looking for blood. He'd grown up among them and knew them like the back of his hand. It was familiar and with someone on his arm like Loki, it would be fun.
"I accept then."
"Excellent." Loki waved his hand and Tony felt a disorienting sensation. He looked around and saw they were inside a building that was clearly hosting a holiday charity event.
"Do you even have an invitation to this?" Tony wondered.
"Nope. I don't need one."
Tony chuckled. "You're clearly a handful."
"More than that even." Loki led them onto the dance floor.
Tony was used to leading, but the Norse God of Chaos, Mischief, and Lies was actually taller than him, which made it easier if he allowed the alien to lead. They didn't dance for long before Loki was introducing him to people as the "real" Tony. Tony was so surprised by this introduction given his father tended to use it that he couldn't help laughing out loud.
Needless to say, they soon attracted Pepper Potts' attention. Loki just greeted her cordially when she came over to check them out. Tony would have liked to have found some other place to be.
"Who is this? I heard you knew the real Tony?"
"Indeed. Meet the real Tony, Tony DiNozzo."
Miss Potts raised an unimpressed eyebrow in Loki's direction. "What exactly are you up to?"
"Nothing."
"I can stick Mr. Stark on you."
"Is that supposed to be a threat, Miss Potts? We both know you're the real power behind Tony Stark." Loki smirked.
"Flattery will get you nowhere."
Tony interjected. "No need to get out the claws. Loki just wants to talk with Mr. Stark, isn't that right, Loki?"
"You will take your leave after?"
Tony shrugged. "That's up to Loki. He's my ride, after all."
She glared even more at the God of Mischief.
"I will leave once my point has been made. No sooner or later than that."
They made their way around the room and Tony knew he'd been noticed and not just by Miss Potts and Mr. Stark. A few Admirals that he recognized from his work at NCIS had definitely noticed him. Whether that was good or bad remained to be seen.
It wasn't much longer that none other than Tony Stark made his way over to them. "Loki, fancy seeing you here. Glad you got my invite."
"Of course. Who could resist a party that supports charity. Will you be making a donation tonight, Mr. Stark?"
"I already have. It's my party, after all."
"Of course. We should let you get back to it." Loki looked like he was all politeness, but Tony could see the schemes running around in his head.
"Loki," Stark warned.
"What?"
"I know what you're doing."
"And what is that?" Loki cocked a hip out and gave Stark a very unimpressed look.
"Showing off."
"Is that so?" Loki quirked an eyebrow.
"Yes. It's not going to work."
"What's not?"
"You won't win," Stark insisted.
"Win what?" Tony wondered.
"The bet. You know he picked you up just to win a bet with his brother, Thor?"
Tony chuckled. "Good try, but not going to work."
"I'm not agreeing to take Thor to the next one."
"I should hope not. Thor has nothing to do with us."
Stark narrowed his eyes. "This is about me, isn't it?"
Loki just shrugged. Tony smirked as he glanced between the two. He wondered how long it would take Stark to realize that Loki was just trying to make the genius jealous.
Deciding it was time for him to fade into the background, he let go of Loki and left the two to their argument. He stopped to pick up some food and then found a part of the wall to lean against and watch the two of them. Sure enough Stark caught a clue and the two of them were kissing.
Tony would be finding his own way home, but that was perfectly alright with him. They both deserved to be happy. Tony may not have found that person for himself, yet, but he knew he'd meet them eventually and looked forward to it.