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“Ah, Ferron, there you are. Cullen has been looking for you-,” he stood in the opening of his study area. When his eyes spotted Ferron, he immediately knew something was wrong. Ferron had his back turned towards Dorian. He was ridged, his shoulders were tightened and pulled inwards. He was hunched over, guarding whatever he had in his hands. “Are you alright?” Dorian asked steadily as he took a step forward, attempting to see whatever Ferron was looking at.
Ferron’s fierce eyes continued to look over the parchment that was being squeezed between his fingertips. He didn’t want to see it any longer, but he couldn’t stop. The words felt unreal, each one jabbed into his heart, cracking it wider with every second. His chest was stuck in a tight vise, crushing his lungs and forcing his breath to become shallow. Clear liquid was welling in his vision, blurring it. He refused to blink it away, not wanting to dampen this wretched letter addressed to Dorian. “What is this.” He said coldly, not even indicating it as a question. He knew what it was, or at least he thought he did.
Dorian’s eyebrows raised in shock, he had no clue what Ferron could be reading. It looked like a letter, but why would a letter of his affect him this badly? “What do you mean?” He kept his tone soft, trying to keep the situation at a low energy. The rotunda was swarming with people at this time of day, and Ferron wouldn’t want to outwardly display his more sensitive side to others.
Ferron crumpled the paper slightly, his upper lip pulling back to reveal his teeth as a low growl reverberated through his chest. This aggressive display knocked Dorian back on his heels, this was completely out of character for Ferron. “Who is this- this man?” His head cocked over his shoulder, his gaze was hard on Dorian.
Dorian warily took another step forward until he could clearly see the name signed at the bottom of the letter. “Where did you find that, Amatus-?” His voice was raised, but he didn’t look angry.
“Don’t ‘Amatus’ me! Cole mentioned this 'Rilienus' before. Is this who you visited a few days ago in Redcliff?” Ferron couldn’t hold back the tears that streamed down his face. His voice was riddled with fear that was poorly veiled with anger. He was turned all the way towards Dorian at this point. His fingers never unclamped from the paper.
Dorian noticed that they were attracting an audience. Cullen had heard the commotion when he was speaking to Leliana one floor above them. They both came down to see if everything was alright. Solas was listening from below, ready to run up the stairs if need be. A few other soldiers hung on the outskirts, along with a few mages and Fiona. "Ferron, please just calm down so we can talk about this-," he lowered his tone, for once in his life not wanting an audience.
"I don't want to calm down, Dorian! I want answers! Who. Is. This. Man!” The words were as hard and cold as steel. They cut through his bared teeth like razors, hurdling across the room and slicing right into Dorian’s being. Ferron kept a defensive posture, challenging anyone who got in his war path, which was aimed directly at Dorian.
“I- Amatus please- let’s just talk about this when we don’t have an audi-,” Dorian stammered, attempting to reason with Ferron, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“Did you sleep with him?!” Ferron snarled the words, unleashing the fear that was rooted deep in his subconscious. There was a low sob that shook his body, his hand was crumpling the letter against his palm. His eyes were wild and covered in pain. He kept distance between them, not wanting to give Dorian any chance to touch him.
Dorian recoiled, his stomach churning at the accusation. His heart was pounding in his chest as heat rose to his cheeks. He couldn’t believe this was happening. The words were thick in his throat but they screamed in his mind. He was terrified that he had just ruined the best thing in his life, all because this other man got the wrong idea based on a past experience. “The letter means-,”
Ferron interrupted him with a hard, mocking tone, “Dorian, my dear, it was so good to see you again! I swear you become more handsome with every passing day!” He was reading directly from the letter without actually looking at it, his voice was shaking wildly. It was unclear if it was from anger, fear or the soul crushing sadness he felt, but it was frightening to his advisors and companions a like. Each line hurt even more when said aloud. “This one is my favorite, listen, ‘I can’t believe we waited so long, if only you had asked me sooner- I would have agreed! The Imperium is absolutely dull without you, my Dorian!’.” Ferron almost screamed the lines at him, locking him in a burning glare.
“Ferron you don’t understand! You are jumping to conclusions without proper reason! You must-!” Dorian was speaking quickly, his mind spinning as the thread of their relationship continued to slip from his grasp. Dorian knew that Ferron had only four hours of sleep in the last three days- his mind was running on practically nothing. It didn’t excuse the letter, but it explained this rash display of anger.
In a flash of light, fire engulfed Ferron’s hand. The flames leaped onto the paper, burning it to ash within seconds. Cullen leaned forward, on guard to put his Templar training to use, but Leliana put her arm over his chest, holding him steady. Ferron threw the ashes at Dorian’s chest as he stormed past him, only stopping to spit a harsh “I can’t believe I was so stupid to ever believe a single word you said!”
The words stung, like someone had shoved a dagger between his ribs and twisted it until he was broken on the inside. Along with that heartache came anger, not as unadulterated as Ferron possessed, but it was there nonetheless. He strode after Ferron, catching him at the bottom of the Rotunda. “Stop it!” He growled as his hand clasped around the elf’s arm.
Ferron yanked away, but Dorian held fast, pulling him to the wall and keeping him there. The Inquisitor tried to wiggle away, to slip from Dorian’s grasp. He refused to look at him, his face was stained red with tears. Dorian shook him, trying to get his attention. “Ferron! Amatus, please listen to me! Inquisitor!” Dorian was yelling in his face, holding his tears back with undeniable strength.
Cullen ran down the stairs after them as the situation escalated. Leliana held back the soldiers who also wanted to follow the commotion, keeping them from whatever the two mages could release. Solas closed some space between him and the couple, reading a spell that would knock them both unconscious if need be. He didn’t believe they would hurt each other, but magic when fueled with anger could be a very dangerous thing.
“How could you do this, Dorian?!” Ferron broke down, his voice cracking as his knees grew weak underneath him. He shoved his hands into Dorian’s chest as his heart pounded in his chest. Dorian stumbled backwards slightly, but he kept his grip on Ferron. He was going to fight for this, fight to keep Ferron by his side. He hadn’t noticed that the mark on Ferron’s hand was glowing with a piercing green light. Not even Solas knew what this meant.
Ferron grabbed Dorian’s wrist and ripped it away from his arm, freeing himself from Dorian’s hold. “I trusted you!” He screamed as he shoved into Dorian once again. His hands curled into fists on Dorian’s chest, this time not retreating back to the distance he created earlier between them. A heart wrenching sob ripped through his being as he dropped to his hands and knees. His hands curled into fists against the stone.
Dorian met him at the same level. He began to pull Ferron into his arms despite the light resistance he gave. Ferron was shouting curses and accusations through soul-crushing, pain filled sobs that caused his body to tremble uncontrollably. Dorian rested his temple on Ferron’s head as he gently rocked him. This was his chance to explain, “Amatus, I never lied to you. Rilienus is nothing more than an acquaintance. He wished to help the Inquisition aiding the fight against the Venatori. We met in Redcliff, played a game of chess, he offered connections and I left after business was done. Leliana has the reports.” He kept his tone steady and calm. “The first thing he asked me about was my relationship with you; he was thrilled that I finally found a real relationship that was not just based around sex. I would never betray you like that, Ferron.” He reassured with sincerity, and he was telling the truth.
Ferron inhaled a shaky breath as he listened to Dorian, relaxing against him with every word. “Why didn’t you ask me to come if it was just for a friendly chat?” He pressed, knowing that Dorian wasn’t lying, but he needed to be sure. Seeing such a document in his lover’s possession almost destroyed him. Ferron could handle many things, but his anxiety disorder and his fear of being forgotten let this incident fester and grow within him, exploding into a great big mess.
“I was afraid it was a trap, something the Venatori set up. I didn’t want to put you danger.” Dorian whispered, holding him tightly. “Ferron, you are the only man I love and the only man I’ve slept with since I joined the Inquisition.” He spoke into Ferron’s hair before he planted kisses on his scalp.
“I . . .I believe you.” Ferron choked out before he dropped his eyes, “I’m sorry Dorian . . .I-,”
“I know, Love. I also know you’ve barely slept at all in the last three days. I promise not to keep secrets from you when it comes to other men, Ferron. It’s not fair to go behind your back like that.” Dorian vowed, as his eyes lifted to Cullen, dismissing them.
Ferron’s head was pounding behind his eyes, the outburst of his emotion drained him physically and mentally. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to try and sleep . . .” he lifted his head, his nose brushing against Dorian’s chin. The mage chuckled lowly before he scooped up Ferron and got to his feet. Ferron was made up of lean, taut muscle, but he didn’t weigh that much.
“Perhaps we should draw a bath, it will relax you, don’t you think?” Dorian suggested in a low voice, one that only Ferron could hear.
The elf chuckled as he leaned into Dorian’s chest, “Of course, emma lath. That sounds wonderful.”
Dorian was standing in the center of the Inquisitor’s quarters, a few feet away from Ferron whom was dressing himself by the bed. Not six hours ago they were fighting, having it out about some letter. Ferron managed to grab some sleep, finally hitting the point of exhaustion. Dorian let him sleep, giving him time to mull over what exactly happened between them.
He was currently seething. He refused to let his eyes stray to Ferron, afraid he was snap right then and there. He couldn’t believe how easily the situation escalated, how easily Ferron believed the words written on the page. Most of all, he couldn’t believe that Ferron would dig into his privacy in such a way. Dorian knew that Ferron was facing fatigue, and he knew all about the way Ferron’s anxiety could trigger a downward spiral that turn anything into a massive implosion of self-destruction.
In the moment, Dorian was focused on defusing the situation, to get Ferron in a better space. He also wanted to get out of that crowd. Ferron was their leader- their holy symbol of justice. He was supposed to be the Maker’s and Andraste’s chosen. Melting down in such a way would certainly cause dark rumors to spread, sucking away the hope of the entire Inquisition. Dorian knew such a thing needed to be stopped.
Dorian was extremely hurt. How Ferron could even conjure up the assumption that Dorian would do something so vile was completely unthinkable. He knew that Ferron was somewhat insecure about how sex played in relationships. He also knew that Ferron was so use to rejection that the threat of it always lingered in the back of his mind. No matter how hard Dorian tried to rationalize it, Dorian knew it would never change how the situation played out, and how it affected him.
“I would like to discuss earlier, if you don’t mind.” Dorian offered, somewhat rhetorically. He was going to talk about it whether Ferron liked it or not. His mind was clear now, he had time to think about it and whatever anxiety about the situation he might have had hopefully was lost in the folds of sleep. Ferron had no excuses, and Dorian eliminated any room for his justification.
Ferron buttoned the last button on his shirt as he turned his head over his shoulder to look at Dorian. His face was blank, indicating no emotion or change in tone towards the subject. “What would you like to discuss?” He turned completely, leaving the space between them.
“You went through my private documents. I know it was lying open on my desk, but that does not give you permission to go through it. Secondly, I wish you would have come to me with such things instead of blowing up in front of the entire Inquisition. Thirdly, do you really think so low of me? That I will give into any man I see? I have more self-control than that, Ferron.” His arms were crossed over his chest, closing himself off to Ferron. Everything he wanted to say was off his chest. His shoulders were tight, unrelaxed. He didn’t know how Ferron would react, and that made him wary.
Ferron was not a volatile person. He took the words without protest, knowing he deserved every bit of it. His eyes lowered slightly, but only because he could not bear to see the hurt and anger in Dorian’s eyes. He wasn’t going to justify his actions, he wasn’t going to fight back. His mind was clear, sharper than it had been in a few days. He didn’t remember most of the event, but from what he did remember- it wasn’t good. It felt like some terrifying nightmare, and he knew he was the cause of it which scared him more than anything.
“You have nothing to say to me?” Dorian paused and Ferron held his silence, “Ferron, you invaded my privacy. We may be a couple, but we both have secrets that we do not wish to share. I do not pry into your letters that are from men in your clan. I understand jealousy, Ferron, but this- this was completely uncalled for.”
He sighed with frustration as he turned away from Ferron. He paced slightly before letting more words rip from his mouth. The anger was boiling over at this point, and it was clear in his voice and posture. “What even lead you to make such an accusation? Have I ever showed interest in any other man since we’ve been together? I know you were off your game, but how could you even connect those dots? What happened to trust? Isn’t that supposed to be the foundation for relationships?”
“Dorian, I-,”
Dorian whipped around to face Ferron. There was clear liquid in his eyes, his voice was scorched with anger- each word whizzed past Ferron’s ears, burning past his skin. “Why didn’t you come to me first?! We could have avoided every single harrowing second of it if you just came to me! Don’t you understand how badly you hurt me, Ferron? Every accusation that was blindly thrown at me, not allowing me to explain that this was nothing but a miscommunication- a poor interpretation of a letter not even meant for you!” He snapped, all the hurt and anger spilling over in an uncontrolled fashion.
Ferron watched as a sob shook his body. It wasn’t a sob of sorrow or hurt, but one of rage. He looked at Dorian in disbelief, never having witnessed him in such a state. He swallowed hard, trying to sort out the words in his mind. He took a slow step towards Dorian, closing a small space between them. “Dorian . . . words cannot describe how sorry I am.” He began with a steady tone, there were tears in his eyes as well, threatening to flood over.
Dorian was willing to listen, holding his tongue as he attempted to calm his elevated breathing. “Everything you’ve expressed . . . all the things I said . . . it was extremely hurtful and just completely wrong. I never should have jumped to conclusions like that . . .” He met Dorian’s gaze with nothing but pure sincerity, “I let my fears get in between our relationship and that wasn’t fair at all. Dorian- I am so so sorry. I know I owe you way more than that.” He had closed almost all the space between them.
Dorian kept himself distant, not allowing Ferron to find safety in his arms. “Yes, you do owe me. I need to have your word, written or verbal, that you will not go into my privacy unless I bring you to it and if something should catch your eye- you come to me first.”
“You have a deal.” Ferron smiled, his word was soft but it held a promise that he never intended to break.