Archive of Our Own ^beta

I think I may have been reincarnated into one of those villainess style otome game, or romance novel settings. The problem is that I have no idea which one.

I am familiar with the genre. At least the concept of it. Most of the stories I've seen didn't really click with me. I haven't really played much in the way of otome games either. I have played some romance visual novels, but they were fairly linear. I have seen otome games, though none have really fit the type from all of those isekai stories. It's like that genre has taken on a life of its own entirely divorced from actual otome games. Though I assume there has to have been an origin for it.

I haven't really read that much in the way of romance novels either. There were the aforementioned visual novels, and ironically a few of those reincarnation based ones. Surely I wouldn't get reincarnated into a story that was already about someone getting reincarnated into a such a story? There has to be a limit to the layers, right?

More traditional romance novels have rarely resonated with me, though I can think of a couple I stuck with for a while. They were interesting at first, but I eventually grew kinda tired of the style.

All of that is to say... I don't recognise anything here at all. Maybe it's a more... erm... standard kind of isekai? Can we call them that?

However I am very much a spoiled young lady. Exactly the type who would be the villainess in those kinds of stories. It's a little disturbing how well I fit the stereotype. It's just that nothing seems familiar, or rings a bell. I should probably be happy that I recovered my memory before my status as a total brat was cemented. Now that I have calmed down a bit, I think everyone has decided it was just a rebellious phase that young children go through.

Though I heard my father mutter that my behaviour was almost more like a boy with how angry, and stubborn I could get. I'm not sure I agree with that based on what I remember... girls can absolutely be like that. Maybe I reminded him of himself at that age? I don't have an older brother for him to take as an example, but I do have a younger brother. He's a total angel. Hopefully he won't enter a rebellious phase any time soon.

It seems like he'll be the one inheriting the household, though. Not because I'm a girl, but because of the second development that makes me fit the villainess stereotype. I was told I'm getting engaged to the Crown Prince.

Why are we deciding that when I'm only seven?! Well, okay, I kinda got an answer to that. Mother told me I have to prepare to receive empress training. I think some of the stories I glanced at mentioned something like queen training. There was this anthology... but we have an imperial family, not a royal one. I am not super familiar on the details of our country, or its rulers, since I haven't really received much education yet beyond learning to read, and do math. Which I could already do, so I've been hailed as a genius. Please don't over-value me, I just have some prior knowledge. Father and mother looked really happy, though. So I thought maybe it was okay.

And then I was told I've been betrothed to the Crown Prince. To strengthen our family's ties to the imperial family. The way they spoke I don't think they really expected me to understand all that. I will say that the expression on my father's face gave me the impression it might have been the imperial family who reached out first. He really does spoil me, so he might not be happy with the idea of giving me up rather than having me inherit after him.

What if the rumours of me being a genius was what caught their attention? I'm sorry, father. Though it would have been your own bragging that brought it on. Either way, I don't think we're really in a position to refuse. Just because father is a duke he can't openly tell them no. It is possible that if things don't work out between us, they'll call it off from their side, but I should at least meet the prince first.

Which is happening today. Mother told me quite firmly: "Do not be rude, or offend the Crown Prince, Nadelle." We're having a one one one meeting. No servants or anything. I presume to see if we get on at all. His name is Ferandin Coracynth, and he's a couple of years older than me. That's all I really know. Maybe I should know more about the imperial family, or even other noble families, but I'm still only seven. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it. I haven't been to any party where the imperials were present, so I only know some of the children from other high families.

The couple of years older thing is a little unusual for the stories I've seen... aren't they usually the same age, so they can be in the same grade when they attend to the academy, or whatever? Maybe one year apart? If it's three years like the default, then we'd only be in school at the same time for one year. Surely they wouldn't be so unfair as to have the heroine enter the academy before me to steal the prince?

...

Actually, some writers would totally do that.

I shouldn't jump to any conclusions yet, though. There is still much more I don't know, than I do.

The gazebo is still empty when I get there. It looks like Lorelai and the other maids have already set everything up before retreating. I was wondering if the prince was already going to be here, but I suppose it's better that I have to wait, than him.

Since there will be no servants, it will be up to me to pour the tea. I had to practice a lot. I really don't think my parents intended to marry me off this early, or they should have educated me more. I suppose that eventually I would have had to get a husband... well, the matter is settled now.

I wonder if having private first meetings like this is common, or just something the imperial family likes to do? I'm starting to feel nervous...

"Oh, you're already here? Did I keep you waiting?"

A voice speaks up behind me, and I quickly get up. Someone with bright red hair, and sparkling green eyes is coming closer. Based on his immaculate outfit, I can only deduce this is the prince. He's a bit bigger than me, probably due to the two year gap, and such. Even at this age there is something... dashing about him. Pretty.

Hm? Pretty? I usually don't think that way about boys?

Ah, bad! This is bad, Nadelle! Don't stand there in a daze, respond!

"Not at all, Your Highness. I just arrived." I try to curtsy as they taught me. "I am Nadelle Kroyton. It's an honour to meet you."

"Hmmm..." I'm not sure what that noise is supposed to mean, but I keep my head lowered. "No need to be so tense. I am indeed Ferandin Coracynth. Raise your head."

I look up, and he's much closer than I expected. Looking at my face. Am I blushing? I'm probably blushing.

"Mother told me to be nice today, since I was going to meet a cute girl. Looks like she was right."

"Eh?" I don't know what to say.

"Let's sit down, and talk a bit."

Dang, how is he already this smooth? And that blinding smile. I sit do-

"Ah, the tea!"

"No, no, let me," Ferandin says.

"But mother told me-"

"My mother told me it's a Prince's duty to dote on her consort."

"C-consort?" I feel so hot. "A-aren't we just getting engaged?"

Ferandin laughs enchantingly. "You have such funny reactions. Future consort, then."

Oh! He's teasing me! ... wait... there was something in there... didn't he say 'her' while referring to... him...self?

I give Ferandin another, closer look. I realise something has been nagging at me since I first saw him... it could be explained by him not reaching puberty yet, but is he really...

"Is there something on my face, Nadelle?" Ferandin is looking back at me.

"Ah! N-no, Your Highness, I apologise, it's just..."

"Just?"

"Um... are you... a girl?"

"Of course. Didn't they tell you?"

Real life dansou! Wait, that isn't important right now. "No, they didn't tell me anything..."

"Pffft. You really have the funniest reactions." Ferandin laughs at me, looks at me, and laughs even more.

"What's so funny?"

"Your face," Ferandin says bluntly. "Ah, I'm being rude, aren't I? Mother will get disappointed with me if I upset you more. I'm sure your parents thought you already knew."

"But then... wouldn't you be a Princess?"

"No, I'm a Prince," Ferandin says as a matter of fact. "Father explained it to me. Princes can inherit the throne. Princesses cannot. My sisters and I are all Princes, at least for now."

"How does one become a princess then?"

"I think there's more than one way it can happen, but the only one I know for sure is marrying a man."

I stare blankly. "Pardon?"

"Father says the imperial line has to be female, and joining with a man makes you lose your succession rights. A couple of my aunts still did so. When I asked mother why, she said that the heart is hard to control. Whatever that means."

I have some idea what that might mean, but usually... so they're all female? Even... "Then... your father... the Emperor is also a woman?"

"Pffft, ahahaha. You haven't even learned that? Of course father is a woman."

That doesn't conform to my common sense! At all! But I can't say that. It does make me curious how... no, let's not bring that up for... a while. A long while.

"I apologise again, Your Highness. I think I've been very rude."

"Don't worry about it." Ferandin smiles brightly. "You're still young. It's rather refreshing compared to how stiff things can usually be."

I try to compose myself. "You're not that much older, are you? Yet you seem very mature."

"Hm... I guess I was brought up that way? While all of us siblings have to take classes, and lessons, as the Crown Prince the expectations are even higher." That doesn't sound like something a nine-year-old should say. "Honestly I was mostly looking forward to this to get away from everyone looking after me all the time. I know why it's necessary, but it gets so annoying." I can only imagine. Maybe she'll become a rebellious teen. Sneaking out of the palace to commit mischief. "And then I met you. There's something relaxing about you. I was a little worried what you'd be like, but I like you."

"Eh?"

"Can I call you Nadi?"

"Um... no one calls me that..." Even Father only says Nade when we're in private. Wait no, that's not what I should have said.

"Then it'll be just me!" Ferandin brightens up a lot. I didn't know she could become this blinding. "And you can call me Fera."

"Fe... Fera?"

"Yes, just like that!" She grabs my hands. "Let's become friends, Nadi. Father told me love is easier if you are also friends."

"Huh? Uh... love? Eh? I... I mean... yes, friends." This girl is bad for my heart.

There is one more thing I want to get off my mind. "I apologise if this is another rude question, Pr- er, Fera, but... do you know why me?" I know for sure I'm not the only young girl around my age among the four Duchies.

"Oh! Yes! Mother told me the Duke had been bragging, which made her bring it up with father."

I knew it!!!

* * *

After the mind-blowing meeting is over, father and mother are waiting for me.

"How did it go, Nadelle?" mother asks.

"Um... the Prince... is a girl..." That's the first thing that falls out of my mouth.

Father looks surprised. "Wait, you didn't know that?"

"No one told me." I grumble.

"Does that mean it went poorly?" My poor mother sounds anxious.

"No." I shake my head. "Fe- Prince Ferandin said we should become friends, because it makes love easier.

Mother sighs with relief, and father strokes my head. "I'm sorry we didn't prepare you better, Nade. I guess I just expected you knew," he says. "Are you... unhappy with it?"

I like headpats. They're a nice privilege of a second childhood. So it wasn't just my imagination that he was worried. I knew it. And now that I know more, I can tell he feels guilty too.

"Don't worry, father. I think the Prince is easy to get along with. I don't mind girls."

Honestly I prefer it over having to marry a man, but I feel like I shouldn't say that. We both know I would have had to eventually. Unless whatever means the imperial family uses is available to others...

* * *

"Ugh..." I hate history so much. I'm going to become a poor excuse for an empress at this rate.

"N-a-di." A couple of arms drape around my neck from behind. There is only one person who would do that.

"Fera!" Though I don't know why she likes saying my name that way.

"What are you doing?"

"Battling my nemesis. What does it look like?"

I turn my head to look at her. She's fifteen now, and has become quite the handsome prince type. Of course she's an actual Prince, but she looks it as well. I haven't seen her in a dress, or anything like that even once.

The one thing that truly ruins her ability to ever pass for a guy is that chest of hers. How is it fair that someone can be both so fit, and so large? I'm still not done growing, and signs are good that I might catch up, but I'm not sure if I can surpass that. Though... I have met the Emperor, and Empress, so I can see where she gets it from. Fera clearly has traits from both of them, so they really must have a way to... um... mix. I haven't found a good opportunity to ask about it. I'll wait until I'm a bit older.

Fera kisses my forehead, and laughs. I just know I'm bright red. She likes kissing my face to see my reaction, though we haven't actually kissed on the mouth yet... no, thinking about that is only going to make me somehow redder.

"Yes, you do seem to have a better knack for practical subjects, and sciences than the purely theoretical ones," she says after glancing into my book.

I sigh, and lean against her. She really likes doting on me as much as she likes teasing me, so I know she doesn't mind. "But I need to know this stuff if I'm to become a good empress."

I have been keeping an eye out for any more villainess-story-like developments, but I haven't spotted anything so far. There isn't even an academy. It's all private tutoring.

Well, okay, there are three academies in the country, plus schools for younger kids, but neither I nor Fera are going to attend any of them. Nor any of the other Princes. We need special education for our future roles. Maybe the younger Princes could have gone, but so long as they're part of the succession line, they still need to be ready in case anything happens.

I did ask about it, trying to sound casual. Apparently they had attempted it when the current Emperor was young, for the sake of learning to socialise, but it had been... maybe calling it a disaster is too strong, but apparently it hadn't gone well. Too much attention, too many wannabe suitors of all genders, and too big of a disturbance. Fera told me the Emperor seems a little sad when telling that story, but I haven't heard it directly from her myself.

I have spoken more with the Empress, as she sometimes assists with my lessons, and gives me helpful tips. While I still live with my parents, I feel like I spend at least as much time at the palace these days. Eventually I will have to move here permanently...

"I know you'll be a good empress," Fera says, and hugs me against her. "You'll be the best. Because you'll be mine." I can't see past her chest from this position, but I can imagine the grin on her face.

"You're such a smooth-talker." She's dangerous. And she's probably only going to become more dangerous as she gets older. "Don't you have Princely duties to do?"

"Nothing is more important than spending time with you." Ugh... I know she means it, too. Father spoiled me a lot, but this girl is even worse. "Don't you want me here?"

"Mm... I didn't say that." I can allow myself to be a little selfish, and wrap my arms around her waist, right?

Her humming sounds so pleased. Smug, even. "I really have fallen for you, Nadi~."

I feel like she's been saying that a lot lately. We started out with just getting to know each other. Becoming friendly. Friends. With the aim of getting closer in the future. Even if it's an arranged marriage, I can feel Fera's sincerity. I've gotten the impression that her parents love each other a lot, and I think she wants to be the same way. And I...

"Well, I fell for you a long time ago..." I say quietly.

"Ooohhh? How long?" She still heard me. She's always like this. She gently pushes me back so she can look at me with those sparkling green eyes.

"Not telling."

"Awwww, come on, Nadiiiiii. Tell meeeeee." Now she's pouting. She has this side to her too. My teasing isn't as good as hers, but I get her sometimes.

"A girl gets to have some secrets," I boldly state.

"Mmph, fine!" She huffs. I love her cute side as much as her cool side. "Then I'm claiming your first kiss already."

"Huh?"

Her lips touch mine. Only briefly. But they did. I didn't just imagine that, right? My lips are tingling.

"F-Fera?"

"It's fine since we love each other, right? I do actually have to go though..." She releases me (though she seems reluctant to do so), and I'm too stunned to do anything about it. "Good luck with your studies, Nadi~." And then she walks off.

Did that just happen? How am I supposed to study now? There's no way I'll able to focus. I turn forwards again, and notice the maid in attendance. I had forgotten she was there. Her expression says that definitely just happened. Feraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

* * *

"Then I'm claiming your first kiss already."

The surrounding maids squeal as the one who had been there that day does an impression of the Prince.

"To think Prince Ferandin has that kind of side to her too."

"She's always so cool, and composed in public. Even when walking around the palace she seems so mature, and unaffected."

"With Lady Nadelle she's almost like a different person."

"It just makes me more jealous. My heart wouldn't have been able to take the Crown Prince saying that to me."

"Lady Nadelle is strong."

"Honestly it looked like her heart had been quite shocked, and turned weak too."

"I know there are many hopeful young ladies out there, but they don't stand a chance."

"They're just jealous. Like us."

"I'm not."

"Yeah yeah, regale us with your happy love life later."

"Oh right, wasn't there one who stated quite loudly that she knows the Prince doesn't actually like Lady Nadelle?"

"Prince Ferandin has to maintain her image at parties, and gatherings. So it's probably not obvious if you're not in the know."

"I'm sure if the rumours became too serious, the Prince would break convention, and openly show her affection."

"Maybe she'll kiss Lady Nadelle in front of everyone!"

"That would definitely make the young ladies faint!"

The maids laughed until the head maid came along, and chased them back to work.

* * *

"Mmm... Fe... ngh... Fera..."

Finally she lets me breathe.

"Well? Did you like your present, N-a-di?"

"You... you could have at least... given me a warning first..."

I didn't expect to come into my room, and start making out with me just like that. Is that supposed to be her birthday gift? Well, it was pretty good...

"That's not an answer, Nadi~."

"I'm sorry, but Nadi isn't home right now."

Mind completely blown. She has been sneaking in the occasional kiss ever since that time, but she's never been this... um... in-depth. Tongue and everything. Where did she learn that?

"Hahahaha." Fera laughs in that enchanting way only she does. "You say such funny things at times, Nadi."

"Ugh... that was too overwhelming, Fera. I thought my heart would stop."

"That good?" She's so smug it's unbearable.

"You're absolutely impossible." I sigh. "But... yes..."

"Ooohh? Yes what?"

"Yes! I'm willing to admit it, okay? It was good."

"Ehehehehe~." She hugs me against her boobs. I guess it's hard not to. "I like being able to break through your shell."

"You like being dangerous to my heart, you mean." Though... "Wait, do I really have a shell?"

"Mhm." She plays with my hair. "It's like you're trying to keep me at a distance sometimes." I guess she has no intention of sugar-coating it, but...

"Oh... I didn't even realise..."

"I got worried you had started disliking me, so I spoke to mother who said that wasn't it at all. And told me to talk to you. So here I am. To talk."

"So you didn't come here just to kiss me senseless?"

"Nope! Though that was pretty fun. I think you're trying to avoid the subject again, though."

Ah. I guess she's right. Is it because she's older that she has such a read on me? She seems to know me better than I know myself.

"I don't mean to... sorry... I seem to have built up an automatic response to your teasing..."

"I know that. It's part of what I love about you. This feels like something more though... like something has changed. Was it the kiss, after all? Or was it even before that?"

"I... don't know..." I really don't. "Please let me think a little."

"Okie." She keeps holding me, and I return the hug. Something I now realise I've been bad at doing. I've been holding myself back? Why?

"I think... I think I'm scared..."

"Scared? Of me?"

I try shaking my head, but in this position I just rub against her. "No. Of myself. Kinda. I think."

"I don't understand what you're saying, Nadi."

"I'm not sure I fully understand myself, Fera." It's a bit exasperating. "But... I think I like you too much."

"Huh?" For once she seems speechless, but this isn't the time for gloating.

"And it's like... like... if I surrender to that feeling... if I embrace it... I'm scared I'll lose myself. No, that's a bad way of saying it..." Words and emotions don't always mix well. "I'm scared I'll become too clingy, too annoying, and make you fed up with me... I think..."

"I see. I guess I might have pushed you too hard," she says softly.

"Huh? N-no, that's not what I said!"

"Listen, Nadi. I'll never get fed up with you."

"You don't know that. You can't know..."

She shifts her position, lifts my chin, and looks me in the eye.

"I know I love you. So it's okay to trust me a little more. And I'll trust you."

"Ngh... you really are dangerous..."

"Hm?"

"Fine. I won't run anymore. Well, I'll try... I mean, I didn't even realise I was..."

Fera giggles, and beams at me. "I'm happy to hear it."

Ah. I did it again. "Also... I love you too." I need to reciprocate more.

"Aw, Nadi~."

She kisses me again. It's just the one this time, but it's still like... sparks..

"I think I have a lot left to learn... will you be patient with me, Fera?"

"Of course!" Immediate response.

* * *

"Feraaaaaaa..." I whine as I burst in. Fera has an office, since she actually does have duties as a Crown Prince. She started having to work three years ago, while she was still 14. And she's supposed to be working now, but I can't take it any longer.

"Huh?" She blinks at me. "What's wrong, Nadi?"

I walk around the desk, and flop my head into her lap. "I'm tired, and want to be spoiled."

She laughs at me, but I don't care. I know I'll still get headpats. "Mmm~"

"I wonder if you've loosened up towards me a bit too much," she says as she strokes my head.

"Huh?" Ah, sudden flashback! "W-wait, did I become annoying after all?" I twist to try to look at her, but I can only see her forehead. That chest is just... is it even legal to have such a killer body? Well, I guess her family controls the laws in this country...

"Hm hm hm~. More like adorable. You still have such funny reactions, Nadi."

"Mmph... do you never get tired of teasing me, Fera?"

"Nope. Never." She's shameless. "Besides, I love it when you're affectionate. Though what do you think Mrs. Brumer would say if she saw you like this?"

I put my arms around her waist, and bury my face in her stomach. "I'm not a bad girl..."

"Hm? Did she say you were a bad girl?"

"... no."

"Nadi?"

"She didn't."

"Then are you being hard on yourself again?"

"... ... no."

"Nadi. I know that tone of voice, no matter how muffled it is."

"Hmph."

"You're a good girl, Nadi."

"It's hard..."

"I know."

"I'm not sure I can do it." I know I complain about the empress training too much. Maybe I'm just sympathy farming. But it is really too much! Diplomacy, etiquette, bearing, history (my accursed nemesis), social studies, politics across the known nations, economics, command, ruling in case Fera is absent... too much! Then there's also the stuff I'm good, or at least okay at, like math, sciences, swordplay, and magic... it's so so much.

"You're doing great, Nadi. Everyone says so."

I want to believe her. I want to. But it really doesn't feel that way. "I'm not really a genius..."

Fera sighs. Maybe I am whining too much. "Listen, Nadi. Two years ago I felt very overwhelmed too. Just because I have a head start, it doesn't mean I'm better. I've just had more time to get used to it."

"Hm? You didn't seem very overwhelmed."

"Well, I have to be the cool one, right? But you didn't find it suspicious that I came to bother you so often?"

"Huh? Well... no... I'm your fiance, so... and you've kinda always been that way..."

"Have I?" She laughs. Just as enchanting as the first day I heard it. "Maybe. But it became much easier to bother you when you started spending more time at the palace, rather than just when we visited each other. I needed to recharge my Nadi energy levels to keep myself going."

My face feels hot, so maybe it's for the best I'm hidden. "It never felt like a bother... and you could have talked to me, Fera."

"Haha, yeah... I'll own up to that one... but I didn't want you to think I was uncool."

"And you're fine with it now?"

"Well, you already know how cool I am by now." She sounds so smug I can easily imagine her facial expression.

"You're also a dork." I poke her sides, and get a little yelp out of her. Cute.

"You said 'also'! So you do think I'm cool!" Why is she making it sound like a great victory?

"Of course I do." I finally push myself away, so I can actually look at her. "It's obvious. You're the coolest girl I have ever seen, and will ever see. I thought you were dashing the first day we met. That's how cool you are."

"Uh... wow... I-I didn't expect you to sound so sincere..." She's blushing! Now that's a victory!

"I meant every word, dummy." I push myself up, and kiss her.

Ah. She's grabbed me. Darn. I can't get away. Oh no. I'll just have to... endure... her lips... and tongue...

* * *

"Well, this is your room now, Nadi. What do you think?"

"It's unreal. And it's so much bigger than the last one. Not to mention my room back home..." I can't help staring. It's so extravagant. This is more like an apartment than a room. I vaguely remember living in places smaller than this.

"Well, you're one of the most important people in the country, so this much is only natural." Right. I forgot hers is even bigger, though I don't think by much. "Hey, Nadi?"

"Hm? What is it, Fera?"

"Are you really okay with moving in here?"

"Do I have a choice?" Uh-oh, her expression makes this seem like not the right time for jokes. "Don't worry, Fera! I'm okay. Really and truly. I was prepared for it. It's just weird. I'll get used to it."

Oh good, she actually looks relieved. "I can't really imagine, since I've always lived in the palace. But I know your family loves you a lot."

"Yes... but it had to happen sooner or later. Besides it's not like our manor is that far away." Ever since I was 10 we have basically only stayed in the manor in the capital, and father has managed the duchy from afar. He had to go back occasionally, but after I turned 13 all my training, and learning was conducted at the palace, and I haven't been back much since then.

I imagine they'll probably go back more often now that I am out of the house, especially for my brother's sake. He needs to see what our lands are actually like. I'm sure they'll still pop back here fairly often.

"It's only two years until our marriage, so it makes sense for me to get accustomed to living here full-time." It'll be shortly after my 18th birthday, and then we'll move together into an even bigger room. No, I think calling it a suite is more correct.

"Aw." She hugs me close from behind. "You've become so mature, Nadi."'

"Eh?" I turn to look at her as best I can. "I've always been told I'm mature." For my age, at least.

"Hm hm~. I'm sure they never got to see the sides of you that I have. I've seen all the immature parts of you as well." God, she's so smug. "Of course all sides of my beloved Nadi are good."

"Geez... and you've hardly changed at all in the past... nine years? Has it been that long?"

"Hm... you're right. That means we've been engaged for half of my life!"

And more than half of mine. "I still remember that first day clearly, and you were just as much of a smooth talker back then as now."

"Hmmm... and I remember you thought I was a boy." Why is she grinning so much at that?!

"N-no, I didn't- I mean, I did- but I just assumed- no one told me! Okay?!"

"Pfffft." She breaks out into full laughter, and has to let go. Laughing at me. She really hasn't changed a bit. ... okay, some bits have changed, like the ones that were squishing against me a moment ago.

"Hmph. It's not that funny."

"Ahaha, I'm sorry." She's still laughing. "I'm sorry, Nadi. It's a very treasured memory for me. I really did like you from that very day. I don't think they could have possibly picked a better match for me."

Right. Picked. I've gotten so used to it I sometimes forget this was all an arranged marriage. Well, it's still just an engagement for a bit longer. My father has never openly admitted it to me, but I think the imperial family basically pressured him into it. I wasn't exactly keen on it myself when they told me, but I realised I had to. I had no choice. Things feel so very different now. But had I instead gotten to choose...

"What if you had gotten to pick yourself?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" Fera gives me a puzzled look.

"What if you had gotten to choose your own partner? Like... if you'd gotten to know all the eligible girls first, not just me? And then got to pick?"

"A weird question. It's not like I can see into alternate realities."

"Ah. Right. Never mind."

She taps her cheek while looking at me. "I'll tell you something." She sounds oddly serious for some reason.

"Fera?"

"I had met other girls before you. Not in a marriage prospect sense, but I did have to start socialising from I was 6. Girls from other families showed up, and I talked with them. Now, maybe it was because we were so young, but none of them really left an impression on me. I couldn't really make friends outside of my sisters due to my position, so it became more like... a task? That might be incredibly rude to those I spoke with, but it was what it felt like at the time. I tried to sneak away sometimes."

That last part doesn't surprise me.

"Which is why I wasn't really expecting anything when they told me to meet you either. I just cherished the opportunity to get some freedom, even if I had to make pleasant conversation with yet another girl. And then... well... you really struck me! You were funny, and strange, and didn't seem to know manners as well as others I've met, but there was still something intriguing underneath all that. And the rest is history!"

"Well, sorry for being strange."

"Aw, don't be like that, Nadi." She pats my head, and I let her. "I understand now that it was because your family really spoils you."

"You're not helping your case, Prince Ferandin."

"Well, I'm not finished yet. I've met a lot of girls since we got engaged too. We've had to do all those socialising events, right?"

"... yeah..." Those hadn't exactly been my favourite thing. While things have improved, I'm still not a huge fan of them. How's that for a future empress? One who doesn't like interacting with people?

"And there were all sorts among them. Meek, pushy, overconfident, self-important, and some actually nice ones. But none of them really wanted me. They wanted my position, or my image."

"Well... you have to maintain your image in public..."

"True. But did any of them consider that? If they did, they never showed it. Even that strange one that seemed so insistent she knew me..."

"Yeah..." That was the one point where I had wondered if a heroine had actually shown up, but her image of the 'real' Fera didn't seem to actually fit with the one I know at all. Since when does she have a brooding nature on the inside? I've known Fera long enough that if she still hasn't shown me her real self, she has to be the best actor in the universe.

... she's not, right?

"And even though father reprimanded me, I don't regret what I did last year."

"Oh..." I feel warm just thinking about it. Her breaking character to defend me, and... kiss me... just on the forehead, but still... it was a big declaration of love. I think someone fainted.

"I see you remember it too."

"How could I forget?!" It's so obvious she's still pleased with herself.

"Things got better after that, right?"

"Um... yes..." Even if it caused a bit of a scandal, I made sure to thank her later.

"I..." She pauses. "Where was I going with this?"

I blink at her. "We were talking about choice..." Did she really forget?

"Oh! Right. Honestly the point was just that it doesn't really matter, because I'm so happy to have you that I can't imagine anything or anyone else."

I blink some more. "That was what all of that was leading up to?"

"I got carried away." She laughs. "What was your original question? What if I had gotten to know all the girls first, and then had to choose? Well, I hope that version of me would have been smart enough to notice you anyway. Without Nadi energy she would wither away."

Why is she acting like she's saying something profound right now? I can only sigh.

"Alright, alright. I realise now that it was a bad question." I lift her hand off of my head... but I don't let it go. "Treasured memory, huh...?"

"Nadi?" Fera's giving me a curious look.

"Did I ever tell you how nervous I was before I first met you?"

"I can imagine, but... not specifically, I think?"

"Well... I had a lot going through my head, even at that age. I know father wanted me to become the next head of the family. The next Duke. He hasn't told me that, but I know him. I think the Emperor probably pressured him into getting us engaged."

"That... does sound like something father would do, unfortunately... when she thinks she's found a good match for any of us, she becomes very targeted. Or with anything she thinks is a good idea. Mother stops her if she thinks she goes too far, but when it came to me, Mattea, and Virril we couldn't really avoid it. Even if the world looks peaceful now, the succession line has to be strong. Mother helped with the three of us, but she wants the younger Princes to try to find someone on their own."

I have of course met the other Princes, and the fiances of Mattea and Virril. Fera has five sisters, and currently all of them are still Princes. Though I don't really know about what their romantic preferences might be. I'll probably be seeing more of all of them now that I'll also be spending all my free time here.

"Fera..." I squeeze her hand gently. "Well, I'm not unhappy with how things turned out. I haven't actually told anyone this, since if I had become Duke Kroyton I would had to make the responsible choice to get married, and have heirs, but... I was actually really relieved to learn that you are a girl. It made me think that maybe it was going to be okay. I... am not that into boys... and can't really say I was looking forward to marrying a man one day..."

"Ohhh? So you love me more because I'm a girl?"

"Hm? Hmmm... maybe? I love you because you're you, but... it's possible. I can't entirely deny it."

"I'm fine with that!" Why is she beaming? Is that something to be that happy about? "Oh! And next week is your birthday ball!"

"Oh. Yes. That." Which they sprung on me as part of me moving here.

"You don't seem very enthusiastic."

"Well... it's just... do we really need one for me?"

"Of course! One for you, and one for me! Our birthdays are pretty well spaced for it, too."

That's true, since she is closer to two and a half years older than me.

"But it's so many people."

"That's something you will need to get used to, Nadi."

"You're right... I still don't really like it."

"Fair, but..." She tugs on my hand to pull me close. "All you have to think about is dancing with me. Everything else doesn't matter so much." She suddenly twirls me about. Is this meant to be a demonstration? And then she catches my back, and leans over me with a grin.

"You know... I was completely right about you years ago, Fera."

"How so?"

"You get more dangerous the older you get."

"Oh? Tell me more~."

"Eh? W-wa-" Her lips silence me. I wanted to tell her... we have to go... and the... the servants are coming... soon...

* * *

There's a knock on my door, and on the other side is Fera. She would usually just burst in.

"Fera? Is something wrong?"

"Nadi... we should talk."

What the hell kind of opener is that?! She looks so serious too.

"Um... sure..." I let her in. "Wha... what about?"

She sits down on the lounge sofa. "Children."

I blink. "Pardon?"

She smiles, and pats the seat next to her. I feel confused, but I sit down.

"We're getting married in a year."

"Yes?"

"After that we'll be sharing a bed, and... father and mother are going to start expecting grandchildren."

"Oh..." I knew that, but I had sorta pushed the thought aside. "Right away?"

"Well... that's why I thought it would be best to talk about it beforehand." Fera looks both awkward, and conflicted. "I understand my duty, and I know you understand yours, but I still didn't want to just... spring it on you on our wedding night."

"Yeah. Yes. Thank you. That's probably best."

Fera rubs her neck. "We don't have to conceive right away. We can if you want to, but we have some leeway. Though if I'm perfectly honest, I think five years would be the most we can put it off."

Even though I'm supposed to have been getting ready for this the past ten years, I have sort of... compartmentalised the 'having children' part away from everything else. The other studies I've been getting the hang of, but I've been putting off thinking about that part. I haven't even asked... well... how it works...

"How old was your father when you were born?"

"When my father took the throne at 30 years old, I was 7. Two years before I met you. So he would have been 23. If I was to calculate by our birthdays... I think he must have been 22 when I was conceived. And mother would have been 21."

"And you'll be 20 when we have our wedding."

"Yes."

"And you're expected to take the throne at 30 too, right?"

"Around there, yeah."

Apparently that has been the system for the past five generations. The Crown Prince takes the throne at 30, letting her parents retire. That meant it wasn't really a problem if things had to be delayed a couple years, because the current Emperor wouldn't be that old anyway. What they do after their retirement is pretty much up to them, or so I've been told. I've only met the previous Emperor and Empress once, since they travel around a lot. They look really well for their age.

Though it's not like the current Emperor and Empress look like they're in their 40s either. If someone had told me they were still in their early 30s, I would have believed them. I feel like they haven't changed at all since I first met them.

I nestle up to Fera. "I don't think I can reach a decision right away... I'll think about it thoroughly."

"That's all I ask." Fera puts her arm around me, and I snug a little closer.

"What about you, Fera?" It seems like she's already thought about it.

"I'd rather leave it to you. You're the one who's going to bear them. I don't want to push it on you before you're ready." Should I interpret that as her wanting to get started right away if I'm okay with it?

Wait... "Has an Emperor never born her own children?"

"No." Fera shakes her head. "It's... it doesn't work that way... at least not yet."

"Not yet?"

She looks so torn. "I'm not allowed to tell you the full details before we're actually married, but... it's a bloodline thing. So it... uh... doesn't work the other way around... though we've been working on it. My father has been very invested in the research, though it was my grandfather who started it. Father says she wants to spread the ability to everyone who wants it, but due to the secrecy it's hard to put all possible resources into it."

"But if she wants to spread it anyway, why not open up already?"

"Father says it has to be this way, and I can't review it until I'm Emperor. I'll have to make my own decision once I get there. Unless it gets solved before that time. I'm actually not sure how much progress they have, but father has said they're 'close' for years now, without really mentioning whether they're 'closer'."

"But if it's a bloodline thing, couldn't your aunts, and sisters help spread it?"

Fera pats my head. "I can't go into that before we're married. I'm sorry. I may be mischievous, but I wouldn't betray father's trust like that."

"Okay, I understand." I wonder if it's on the off-chance that the engagement is broken off for whatever reason? If my father had told me to keep some secret, I wouldn't want to betray that either. Not even to Fera. "Though there's not many people besides me who know you're full of mischief." Which makes me kinda happy.

"True. There's no one else it's as fun to show it to. Or do it to."

"Yeah, you're always nice to your little sisters."

"I want to be a good big sister! Though Leena hates me."

"She does?" Leena is the second youngest of the six Princes, and she's always struck me as a good girl.

"Yeah. She has a crush on you, and doesn't like that I'm the one marrying you. She even told me she'd be a better Crown Prince than me," Fera says with a laugh.

"A crush? On me? What? Why?" That's baffling enough by itself. "And she's only 12."

"And how old were you when you fell for me?" Does she really have to look that smug?

"Fair point..."

"Also you're much more attractive than you give yourself credit for. Some of the girls at those parties were sneaking more glances at you, than me."

She's definitely messing with me. "Are you sure they weren't just shooting me dirty looks?"

"I'm serious. Trust me. I can tell." She gently cups my cheek. "But... I'm not letting anyone else have you~."

"Eh?" Before I know it, I'm on my back on the sofa, and Fera is hovering over me. Dangerous. If you look at me like that, it's so dangerous.

"I've said it before, Nadi. That I can be myself without worrying when I'm with you is what's truly kept me going all these years. Before you I didn't feel like I had much."

Please don't say things like that with that look in your eyes. "Flatterer. What would the citizens say if they heard you, the Crown Prince, complain about not having much?"

"That's why I only say it to you. Besides, it's not flattery if it's true." She kisses me. I was anticipating it. I've really learned how she tastes over the years, but that doesn't stop the heat from rising inside me every time. I may be the clingy one, but my dear Prince feels quite needy herself.

"Hey, Nadi?

"Fera?" If you say my name in a breathless voice like that, I'm not sure I can handle it.

"Can I touch you?"

What did she just say? It takes me a moment to get it. "Um... will you be able to hold yourself back... from going too far..?" We haven't gone beyond kissing, and cuddling so far. We might have pushed it a little bit, but never too much. Well, okay, that love bite had been a step too far, but she seemed genuinely sorry about it.

Not doing any premarital lewdness seems silly by my previous life's standards, but it's still important here. At least for someone in our position. If we had been regular citizens, commoners, I'm sure it would have been different.

"I... don't know..." She admits, with a hungry look.

We've been together for so long that of course I have noticed how that the way she looks at me has gradually changed over the years. Especially since I moved here. I would be lying if I tried to claim I haven't also felt more... aware of her. It's like our wedding getting closer has raised... expectations.

"You're making this very difficult for me, Fera..." I know I should say no, but I want to say yes.

"Ugh..." She pulls away from me. I can't tell if I'm relieved, or disappointed. "I'm sorry, Nadi. I really lost my cool there."

I sit back up. "I... know how you feel... believe me..."

"Yeah. Sorry. And I'm supposed to be the mature one, haha." Her laugh sounds awkward.

We might have a tough year ahead of us.

* * *

"Here we are. Our shared abode." Fera opens the door, and carries me across the doorstep. It's not the first time she's princess-carried me, but the context is very different this time.

The wedding feels like a blur. Everyone was happy. It was beautiful, and so was she. Is she. As per tradition we're still in our wedding livery. But my mind was way too occupied with what is coming next. Our first night together.

The last year has been tough. Very tough. We... definitely pushed our displays of affection a few times, but we were able to stop with a bit of groping, and some... um... extended kissing. I got another love bite. No wait, two. Thank god for discreet maids who know make-up. I've many times wished for a cold shower, but we only have baths.

And now... we're finally here. No longer any need to hold back. I feel... kinda timid, actually. She might devour me.

She lets me down, and I set my feet on the carpet... on our carpet for the first time.

"You look really beautiful, Nadi."

"Thank you. So do you, Fera."

"Aw, and here I was aiming for handsome."

"They're not mutually exclusive." I smile at her fake pout, and sneak in a quick kiss.

She doesn't let me get away, and we're well squished together.

"You have really grown well over the years," she teases.

"Perv," I tease back. She's not wrong, though. I'm shorter than her, but in terms of chest size... endowment... I did catch up to her. Is it the food in this place, maybe? And is it a sign we're a good match? What's that term? Symmetrical docking?

Though I think having a gap can be good too.

Fera giggles at me. "I... suppose I should ask right away. Have you reached a final decision?"

I know she means regarding children. We've discussed it more than once since that time. And I have made my decision. "I would like to wait a year or two. Sorry..."

"Hey hey. I already told you to not apologise, no matter what you decided." She lightly grabs me by the shoulders. "I want to prioritise your comfort on this, Nadi."

"Thank you, Fera." I smile at her. It's not like it means we won't have anything to do tonight. I'm sure she'll still devour me. While I'm slightly worried about how intense she'll get, and I'm also full of anticipation. "Though... um... how is it going to work anyway? You can tell me now, right?"

"Yes, you should know what to expect." There's a glint in her eye. "It's a sorcery based on our bloodline. What I was told is that we entered some sort of contract with a goddess, or spirit. Father told me she was told it's a goddess, but she's a sceptic, so she thinks it might have been a spirit that was mistaken for a goddess. Regardless it has made it hard to adapt that sorcery to work for others."

At that point would there really be a difference? "But why the secrecy? Did the goddess make them swear to silence?"

"Apparently not, but maybe they interpreted it that way at the time? It seems like the main reason was that my ancestors realised how dangerous the information was. Well, father jokes that maybe they just wanted to keep it to themselves. Regardless it was classed as something unique to our imperial bloodline, which isn't a lie, but it effectively stopped anyone else from looking into it. At least seriously. I'm sure there have been people trying to figure it out."

"That doesn't really answer my first question, Fera."

"Think about it, Nadi. If any two women can freely have children, and all of their children become girls, that could be framed as making men obsolete."

"Oh. Yes. I can't imagine that would be taken well among the noble families." Those unhappy with the idea would absolutely try to frame it in a sensationalist way like that to rally supporters. Even after nearly two centuries of all-female Emperors, there are still those who think an Emperor's throne should belong to a man.

"Exactly. Our own examinations do suggest that the majority of women are still interested in men, so it probably wouldn't be such a drastic change. At least not at first. But facts aren't going to quell any outrage. Plus there is truth to the point that the imperial family has made it acceptable for women to love each other. Even desirable to those who want to appeal to our family. That's why father doesn't want to release anything until it's fully ready to go."

"What if they revolt?"

"Well... father says then she'll finally have justification to crack down on them."

I blink. That does sound like her. "The Emp- no. Father-in-law is a scary woman." I need to get used to that now. Both her, and mother-in-law were very firm they want me to address them like that.

"As for how it works, well... there are two ways. One is a ritual that... I don't really understand the exact details, but it magically transfers what is needed to create a child from the Prince to her wife. It's a bit more work than the other method, but it's an alternative for those who aren't comfortable with doing it that way."

"And... what is that 'other method'?" I have a suspicion, but I want to get confirmation.

Fera gets a mischievous grin. "I'll whisper it to you." She leans close, and speaks warmly into my ear. Yeah. I knew it. I was right. And I can understand that not everyone would be comfortable with that.

"You're very red, Nadi."

"I-isn't that only natural?"

She laughs. Still enchanting. "Okay. Before I get you out of that dress, lose track of everything, and forget, I am curious... how do you feel about it?"

I might as well fess up. "I'm fine with it. Especially since it's you."

"Oooo~. I wasn't sure after you told me you're not into boys."

"Hm... I guess I understand why you might think that, and I am glad you asked first rather than assuming. But my lacking interest in boys isn't related to that. I just like girls. Whether or not they have dicks doesn't matter."

Fera's eyebrows raise. "I didn't know you knew that word, Nadi."

"Uh..." I shouldn't have said that. It just slipped through.

"I guess there's still more about you for me to learn." Fera seems strangely delighted. "Speaking of..." She starts undoing my dress with surprising deftness. Has she practised?

"I... uh... do have a question..." I speak up before we get too far into it.

"Hm?" She clearly has no intention of slowing down, but she'll still need a minute to get my dress fully off.

"Is there a way to like... do that safely? Like... without necessarily needing to conceive? Like... just for fun?" God, I must be blushing so hard.

"Huh?" She blinks at me. "I never thought to ask. I'll have to talk to father about it. If anyone knows, it should be her. So... you're into that, huh?"

"Well... once in a while might be nice..." Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up.

"It doesn't mean I'm letting you off easy tonight, though."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do to you."

I shiver. "Not with me?"

"That too."

I giggle. She sounds even more eager than I feel, and I feel pretty darn eager. I never expected to get much rest tonight, and I don't think I'll be disappointed.

My defences are down. Even the accursed corset is defeated. Now I just need to get her off too. Well, get her clothes off. Actually, both would be good.

"Ah!" She picked me up before I even got her jacket off. I guess I'll have to work on it in bed.

* * *

It's so strange. Not in a bad way. But I can feel a slight bump in my belly now. Our first little Prince. It's very strange. I never got as far as having children in my previous life. Though... at some point in the past dozen or so years that stopped feeling like me anyway. It's more like... someone else's memories that have influenced me, but aren't me. A distant dream.

What is real is me and Fera. And this child... well, I guess it's not really one yet, but she will be. I know I'm expected to have more than one. At least three. I'm fine with that. Even if I wasn't, I understand my duty, as Fera once said. It would be scummy to complain about my lack of freedom when living in such luxury anyway. I'm sure there are many who would be happy to trade with me.

I can save such deep thoughts for another time. I want to cherish this first time as much as I can. I know it won't be all sunshine and rainbows. I had some terrible morning sickness for a while there, but it has eased up. I'm sure other issues will show up, but even so... a girl is allowed to be a romantic, right?

"There you are, Nadi. Why are you out here?" Fera comes out on the balcony with me.

"Oh, Fera. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"The future, I suppose. Our child. There's a small bump now."

"Oh~! Let me feel!"

"Of course." I gently place my hand over hers as she feels my belly.

"Ohhh~. There it is. There she is." She sounds so awestruck it makes me giggle. "How's your nausea?" Her tone quickly transitions to a hint of worry.

"Not as intense as it used to be." I lean back against her. "You don't have to worry so much. I'll be fine. But I appreciate the concern. Imagine if everyone knew how sweet you really are?"

"I'm fine with only you knowing," she shoots back without hesitation.

I try to not laugh too hard. "I'm sure your family has some idea."

"Maybe." She kisses my cheek. "Any cravings? Mother told me that was a thing."

"Um..." The answer is yes, but they don't have potato chips in this world. Though maybe I've been craving those regardless of pregnancy. "Nothing in particular, at least not yet... maybe an urge for greasy foods? But that could be unrelated."

"You have been eating a lot," she teases.

"It's fine. You'll love me even if I get fat, right?"

Fera laughs. I never get tired of hearing that. "Of course, my beloved Nadi. Of course."

It's hard to remember those early years now, but there's sure been a lot that's happened in my life here. And I think I was more anxious at the start than I realised. At least that's what it feels like looking back. I'm glad I ended up with Fera. If fate exists, that must have been it.

"You look like you're thinking about something again," she says.

"Hm? Oh. I was thinking about us. Do you believe in fate, Fera?"

"Well... I didn't used to, but my life with you, growing up with you, it has made me wonder if maybe fate is real after all. Sure it hasn't been perfect, but this sort of happiness feels like too much for mere chance."

"Hehehe. So we feel the same. I'm glad."

I stretch towards her, and she knows me well enough to immediately take the hint as she pulls me into a kiss. Happiness. Yes. Exactly that.

* * *

The door bursts open. "We've done it! Nadi, we've done it!"

"Ssssshhhh, you'll scare Beni." I'm currently nursing our youngest. Our third. The years really do pass fast.

"Oh, sorry." Fera covers her mouth.

"Now. What have you done?" I say softly.

Fera comes closer so she won't have to talk so loud. Beni stirs slightly at noticing her father, but she's not done feeding, and that seems to take priority.

"Father's research team have finally cracked it. We now have a version of the sorcery that should work for anyone, with a little preparation. Father even said your research paper helped. It will need testing, but father is already planning how, and when to break the news. It has to get out in a way that even the conservatives won't be able to stop. At least not fully."

"Oh! That's great." I almost forgot to keep my own voice down. I'm glad I was able to help by providing my own perspective.

"I wonder if father will let me be a test subject. I mean, we will need someone from outside of the bloodline too, but I could still..."

"Oh? You want to bear a child, Fera?" I have been curious about that, but figured there was no point in asking unless... well, unless this happened.

"Well... I figure I should experience what you've been going through... at least once." She seems a little embarrassed about it. It's cute.

"I don't mind. Maybe trading back and forth will become common with future Princes, and their wives." A little break might be nice, too. In fact, with me now having three, and if we get a fourth with Fera, maybe that would be enough.

Well, we can discuss that in the future.

"That doesn't sound so bad." Fera agrees. "I wonder if that child will call me mother?"

"Do you want her to? It might be less confusing if the Emperor is always father." Though maybe the children would be able to adapt to it better than I think.

"You might be right..." Fera deflates. It's a little too adorable.

"Hey, if you want to be called mother, that's fine by me. I want to join in your happiness, Fera, not oppose it."

"Nadi~." She almost looks teary-eyed. If it wasn't for Beni, I'd give Fera a kiss. I can't really move right now. That is unfortunately one of the obstacles that children pose, but certain sacrifices must be made.

"You will have to get father-in-law to agree first."

"I'll give it my best!" She moves in to give me a kiss, and then rushes out of the room. Is she going to have that talk right away?

Ah well. Seems like things might get interesting going forwards. What if girls loving girls takes over the world? Okay, maybe that's a tad too dramatic, but I hope that at least it's going to inspire more happiness for more people.