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I Know I'm More Than What I Fear

Summary:

Ted's been ignoring his own problems to help Paul, but now his own nightmares are back with a vengeance.

Notes:

The title is taken from the lyrics to 'Blossoms' by The Amazing Devils.

Work Text:

"Tick tock, Teddy Bear."

The only thing that Ted could hear over the sound of eerily familiar screams was the echo of his own shoes on the floor of the maze that he was trapped in. That, and the gleefully manic voice that periodically called out to him, occasionally clicking his tongue to mimic the sound of a ticking clock. A sound that sent shudders of dread down his spine for reasons that he didn't quite understand.

He kept moving through the maze, trying to head away from the sound of the screams in spite of the way that the walls of the maze kept shifting around him. He didn't know how long he'd been there, all he knew was that he had to keep moving. The screams gradually grew quieter, but any relief he felt was short-lived as he heard Pete's voice suddenly echo around him.

"Did it work?"

Ted's heart was suddenly in his throat. No, Pete absolutely could not be there. Pete could not be trapped in the horrible, shifting maze with him. Then he heard that terrifying, gleeful voice again.

"Oh boy, a Spankoffski! I'm gonna have the whole set in my toy box." The voice was absolutely dripping with amused malice, and Ted actually felt the blood drain from his face. Then the screams started up again, this time two voices in pained and terrified harmony. And Ted could finally recognize the voices screaming: himself and Pete.

He started running, his heart pounding in his ears and almost drowning out the sound of the screaming. "No, no, no!" He didn't even notice the mantra that fell unthinking from his lips, all of his attention focused on trying to find Pete. But no matter how fast he ran, no matter how many corners he turned the view in front of him never changed. And the sound of the screams never seemed to get any closer.

There was a sudden, sharp burst of pain, and the next thing Ted knew he was sitting on the ground with his hands clamped over his ears, a chorus of 'no, no, no' still mindlessly falling from his lips. He jerked back when a pair of hands suddenly grabbed his shoulders, the tension finally easing when he realized that it was Paul kneeling in front of him and that they were sitting on the floor of Paul's living room.

"Oh, fuck." Ted scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair, breath leaving him in an explosive sigh. "I must have fallen asleep." Then he looked back up at Paul before glancing around the room. "Did I fall off the couch?"

Paul huffed out a relieved sigh. "Yeah, Ted. I woke up right before you kicked me and then you took a header straight towards the coffee table. You're lucky you didn't crack your head open on it."

Ted's heart was still thumping in slowly easing panic, and he knew from experience that his hands would keep shaking for at least another fifteen minutes. Then he bit back a yelp when a voice suddenly piped up from somewhere behind him.

"You okay, Uncle Paul?"

Paul glanced over Ted's shoulder to what Ted assumed was Richie. "Yeah, we're fine, Richie. The couch just decided to throw Ted off."

Ted just sat there on the floor and tried to get his breathing under control. He'd had the nightmares about the maze before, but that was the first time that Pete had made an appearance in them. It was taking all of Ted's self control not to shove Paul out of the way, lunge for his phone and FaceTime Pete just to make sure that his little brother was okay.

"Ted, are you okay?" Paul was still kneeling next to him, one hand still on Ted's shoulder. "And I don't just mean from falling off the couch."

Ted let out a slow, deliberate deep breath. "That was a bad one, but I'll be fine. It's just...that was the first time Petey's popped up in one of these fucking nightmares."

Paul hissed in sympathy. "That's awful, Ted. I don't know what I'd do if Richie suddenly started showing up in my nightmares." He glanced around the room for a moment, then nodded his head and patted Ted's shoulder. "Look, it's pretty much time for me to get up anyway. Why don't I make us some pancakes for breakfast while you call Pete and make sure everything's okay?"

Ted took another slow, deep breath and tried to force some of the tension from his body. "Yeah, buddy. That sounds good to me." As soon as Paul was out of sight Ted dropped his head into his hands and very deliberately did not scream, no matter how much he wanted to. Instead, he sat there and just breathed for a long moment before running his still shaky hands through his hair and then reaching for his phone.

A quick check of the time showed that it wasn't too early for him to be calling Pete. His brother normally got up fairly early, even on the weekends, so Ted shouldn't wake him up. He also absently noticed that it looked like his plan to get Paul a full night's sleep had worked, even if Ted hadn't meant to fall asleep himself. So at least one thing had gone right the night before. He took one more deep breath and dialed to FaceTime Pete.

It only took a moment for Pete to answer, his image on Ted's phone screen slightly annoyed until he got a good look at Ted's still pale face. "Are you okay, Ted? Did something happen?"

Ted closed his eyes at the sound of Pete's voice, the last of the tension finally seeping from his body. "No, Petey, everything's fine. I just had a bad night, and I needed to see that you were fine. That's all."

Pete frowned, one eyebrow rising. "Was your date that bad?"

Ted chuckled roughly. "I wasn't on a date, kid. I'm over at Paul's; we fell asleep on the couch." He winced, twisting around to try to ease the sudden twinge in his back. "And then I apparently fell off the couch, so Paul's making me pancakes."

Pete's frown grew. "Are you sure you're okay, Ted? Because you're acting weird, and you have been for a while now."

Ted glanced over at where Richie had made his way downstairs and was helping Paul in the kitchen, then thought back to the moment in his nightmare where he'd heard Pete's voice and made a decision. Maybe this horrible weirdness hadn't touched Pete yet, but it still might. And even if it didn't (and oh, how desperately did Ted hope that it never touched his baby brother) Pete deserved to know what was happening to Ted.

"No, I'm not okay." He looked back down and met Pete's eyes through the screen. "Something has been going on, and once I get home we'll talk about it. I promise."

Pete stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "You'd better. I'm not a kid anymore, Ted. You've always been there for me, but I can't be there for you if you don't tell me what's going on."

For the first time since he'd woken up, Ted smiled. "When did you get so grown up, Petey? Look, I'll be home as soon as I eat all of Paul's pancakes, and we'll talk."

Another reassurance or two, and Ted hung up the call and realized that his hands had finally stopped shaking. He slid the phone back into his pocket and looked up to see Paul standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"I didn't mean to overhear, but you're going to tell Pete what's going on with...everything?"

Ted nodded. "Yeah, after last night I think it's probably for the best. Just in case."

Paul nodded. "If he needs to, he can talk to me and Richie, too." He ran a hand through his hair. "In the meantime, though, the pancakes are ready. I even made chocolate chip ones, just for you."

"Really, Paul, you shouldn't have." Ted smiled as he pushed himself to his feet. "Oh, who am I kidding? You absolutely should have." And as he followed Paul into the kitchen he once again forcefully ignored the faint sound of a clock ticking that was coming from somewhere over his shoulder. For at least this moment, he refused to let whatever this was affect him.