Work Text:
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?
For being the reason why disappointment
clouds your eyes?
Starting from when I ran around
without a care,
not understanding what was going on
until it was too late.
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?
For being the reason the word failure
always hangs from your lips?
While I ignore the pain that you feel,
as you witness me unable to be
the son you always wanted.
Only being a hollow image of the wife
you’ll never see again.
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?
For letting the whiskey burn your throat?
Presenting you with more and more
until you were hunched over
The table a glass in your outstretched hand,
and slurred words of ‘I miss her’ spilling
From between your drunken lips.
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?
For the times I disappeared?
Gone for hours
with no explanation why.
Coming back
with only a bruised and beaten body
I refused to tell you about.
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?
For the lies that flow from my mouth?
The lies that twist in my gut as I say them.
The ones I trick myself into thinking
are there to keep you safe.
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?
For killing my mother?
For being the reason why
you buried her six feet under,
with nothing but a withering stone
engraved with a simple
‘Claudia Stilinski, loving wife and mother.’
To mark that she ever existed.
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?
For forcing you to stay around
with your hyperactive, fuck up of a son
with only whiskey to help numb the pain.
Did I ever tell you I’m sorry?