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It was a Friday night for Wright and anything co. The smell of hot food and sounds of laughter filled the air in the office, the space was small but they made it work. With another hard fought case won, Maya & Pearl visiting, and Thanksgiving on the way, a celebration was in order. Gumshoe was able to pull Edgeworth away from his paperwork and dragged the chief prosecutor to the gathering, insisting he needed to unwind. The man begrudgingly agreed, but both of them knew that Edgeworth wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
Apollo had brought his nintendo switch to the party, the kids (plus Larry and Phoenix) have been obsessed with “Puyo Puyo Tetris”. They were all once up until 6 AM in the office playing it, much to Edgeworth’s dismay when Phoenix showed up to court running on about 2 hours asleep.
To Phoenix's understanding it’s a game where you can play either Tetris or Puyopuyo, it has multiplayer, various party modes, and colorful loud characters. The attorney didn’t know much when it came to modern technology but he just knew that the flashing colors and shifting blocks enticed him, or how Trucy would phrase it, “scratched his brain”.
Everyone else eventually gave in and tried playing, even Edgeworth. At some point while everyone was engaged in idle conversation, gorging themselves on food, Edgeworth, Phoenix, Larry, and Apollo were engaged in an intense game of Tetris. Trucy and Pearl sat cross-legged on the ground cheering on Phoenix.
Phoenix was absolutely fighting for his life to stay alive. He was squinting at the screen, thumbs fumbling with the small controller, making the same face a dad would when looking at a meme. He definitely needed glasses. Despite the squinting, he had the same glint of determination as if he was in court.
“What the- EDGEY YOU WON? AGAIN? AGRHH”, yelled Larry in frustration.
This is the fifth game of Tetris Edgeworth has won in a row. The only ones to rival him were Larry, Gumshoe, and Apollo, sometimes winning some games. But the chief prosecutor almost always came out victorious. Phoenix was just there to have fun.
Apollo’s brows were furrowed, fierce eyes glued to the new game at hand “Mr.Edgeworth, when did you get- ARE YOU KIDDING ME” he misplaced a block, "so good at Tetris?”
“NO- DAMNIT! UGH….” Phoenix died and threw up his hands in defeat.
Edgeworth ignored his partner’s outburst and answered Apollo calmly as he got a tetris and sent over a flurry of blocks to the young attorney.
Apollo held in yelling 'MOTHERFUCKER’ at the top of his lungs and instead opted with a “ OH C'MON.”
“Well, I like to play Puyo Puyo Tetris every now and then, it’s a riveting puzzle game that I like to play in order to unwind and challenge my mind. The ways the blocks fall into place is very gratifying, especially when you get a perfect Tetris. As Chief Prosecutor I always have to be prepared for any situation or investigation, and playing Tetris trains my mind to think on my feet”
“..huh? Edgeworth you have a switch??” Maya questioned, turning away from Gumshoe and their conversation on ranking Pokemon on whether or not they can beat them in a fight.
“Kay let’s me borrow hers from time to time, to play Tetris”, his blocks moved across the screen with precision, locking in another Tetris, knocking out Larry and Apollo. On queue the two made strangled, incoherent noises of defeat.
“Yay Papa!!” Trucy cheered, with Pearl clapping along.
Phoenix took in an exaggerated gasp, “Hey! I thought you were cheering for me…”, his tone was filled with betrayal. “My own daughter…”
“Sorry daddy but he’s way more entertaining to watch! Also you kinda kept losing.. ” Trucy whispered the last part
Edgeworth chuckled in amusement, “Trucy would you like to play? Me and your uncle Gumshoe have to get started on the grilled cheese”
“Hell yeah! Pearls, be prepared to watch a TRUE master at play-”
Larry suddenly interrupted, “Hey this fish guy kinda sound like he’s saying ‘suck my penis’”
Apollo choked, Pearl raised a brow, and Edgeworth shot a deadly glare at Larry.
‘Y’know what Pal, I hear it”
Everyone brought food, making up a fantastic meal of risotto, dinosaur chicken nuggets, potatoes, apple cider, tomato soup made by Gumshoe, and grilled cheese courtesy of Edgeworth with a pink frilly apron and a table top griddle.
Maya brought the dinosaur nuggets of course, she insisted it was for Pearl and Trucy. But Maya, Phoenix, Gumshoe, and Ema all yelling “DINO NUGGIES” excitedly in unison when discovering said nuggets at the grocery store for the gathering says otherwise.
After a filling meal and the sharing of ridiculous court stories the rag tag group was spread out across the office, with Maya face down on the floor in a food coma and the smell of freshly baked cookies made by Gumshoe wafting through the air.
The kids were at a table on their phones busy with a Pokemon Go raid and a plate of cookies. The trio of childhood friends were on the couch, Edgeworth was playing a solo game of Tetris while Larry talked to Phoenix about his latest girlfriend.
Phoenix glanced up at the screen after 10 minutes straight of Larry talking about how ‘perfect’ and ‘cute’ his girlfriend was and his eyes widened.
“Woah Miles”
Edgeworth had gotten to level 9, the blocks began to fall faster and faster, yet the man was clearing line after line. Each block was placed with purpose and efficiency, thumbs swiftly moving across the controller. Edgeworth didn’t respond, his brows furrowed with concentration, too focused at the game on hand to acknowledge the comment.
Larry turned his attention to the TV after Phoenix stared at the screen with his mouth agape, unspeaking for a solid 30 seconds.
“Yo Nick, what’s the big deal? Oh Edgey, man…HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?”
One by one everyone turned their attention to Edgeworth in curiosity, it was a domino effect.
Maya was jolted awake from her food coma by Larry.
Trucy stopped mid sentence while showing off her pokemon, causing Apollo, Athena, and Pearl to look over.
Gumshoe was giving his cookies to Ema when she paused mid bite in order to watch, making Gumshoe turn his attention away from his newly baked plate of cookies.
They were all entranced by the gameplay, just right when it seemed like Edgeworth was about to lose he recovered swiftly. After a while Gumshoe was the first to speak up.
“Wow sir, you’re really good at this Tetris game. It’s like you’ve reached some sort of…Tetris nirvana!”
Gumshoe looked proud of his use of the word ‘nirvana’. After this everyone began putting their two cents in.
“I don’t think I’ve blinked in the past 5 minutes…I think my eyes are drying out” Phoenix muttered in astonishment.
“...are you sure Tetris is just a game you place every now and then and not some secret addiction you have?”
“Says you Nick, Trucy told me you try to play tetris anytime you have even a single second of free time- oof!” Phoenix elbowed Maya in the ribs.
“I can’t look away…it’s like..I'm being seduced by the tetris…” Larry agreed.
Apollo, too enraptured to even use his chords of steel, just whispered a “Nice..” under his breath when Edgeworth cleared another tetris against all odds and pulled off a very impressive T-spin.
“Everytime I think he’s about to die he brings it back how??? You’re a Tetris God??” Athena stared, with a morbid curiosity.
Ema took out her phone and began filming. Pearl just stared with shining eyes murmuring a prolonged “wooowwwwww….”
Suddenly a familiar sounding voice cut through the air, “My, that is quite impressive.”
“What the- MIA!?” Phoenix yelped
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??”
he whipped his head around to Pearl..who was…channeling Mia??? Out of all times???
“Oh hello Phoenix, this was just too interesting to miss out.”
“Hi sis!” Maya leaned over Phoenix, unphased, to get a better look at the TV, “ Edgeworth at this point you should enter a competition!”
“Yeah…we can be your cheerleaders” snorted the spiky haired attorney after a couple of seconds of stunned silence, trying his best to ignore the spirit of his old mentor who manifested just to watch a game of Tetris.
“Ooh wait! There’s 9 of us and..uh” Athena counted her fingers “9 letters in Edgeworth! We can all wear T-shirts, it's PERFECT!” she grinned, clasping her hands together. Widget glowed a bright green.
“Yeah pal, I can get one of those foam fingers! That says EDGEWORTH #1!! YEAHH!!”
“Or maybe we can all dress up as tetris blocks and follow him around!” Trucy quipped
Edgeworth crinkled his nose at the thought. “I would like to politely decline the offer but I appreciate the sentiment”, his focus on the tetris unwavering.
“Wait WOAH! 500,000! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a score that high before!” Trucy exclaimed with a gloved hand over her mouth.
“Experienced players get scores in the millions, with the score maxing out at 999,999 in the original Tetris. But I will admit I’ve been too focused on my gameplay to look at my score. I have definitely exceeded my personal record of 350,000.”
The room then went silent, everyone was too invested in the game anymore to make anymore comments or quips, their full attention on the Tetris game. Mia was still there, equally as enraptured as everyone else, and it didn’t look like she was leaving anytime soon.
(This must be what those ‘ADHD traps’ that Truce keeps talking about feel like.) Phoenix contemplated
The only sounds in the office were the clicking of buttons, the tetris theme song, and the occasional ‘TETRIS!’ yelled by the bubbly heroine of the game.
Small gasps could be heard when Edgeworth was on the cusp of losing, with cheers and sighs of relief when he was able to recover smoothly. Phoenix realized then how football fans must feel when watching the Super Bowl. This. This was his Super Bowl.
The blocks began descending much faster, almost at the speed of a blink of an eye, no one knew how Edgeworth was able to process it as they all gawked at the game, mouths agape.
“BOO!!! LOSE ALREADY!!!” Larry hollered abruptly. Phoenix swiftly smacked the back of his head.
Edgeworth was at 600,000 now.
Phoenix swore he hasn’t ever seen him this focused before. Apollo was about to bite into a cookie before the game caught his attention, he’s still been holding said cookie for the past 25 minutes.
Even with more gaps in his blocks Edgeworth somehow always was able to still clear lines with precision. His eyes darted back and forth to the game and upcoming tetriminos. Nothing else mattered at that moment but that tetris game.
He spun the tetriminos perfectly and swiftly, clearing one line after the other. Edgeworth swore he felt a bead of sweat form and fall down his temple. It’s been about a whole half hour of them watching Edgeworth.
700,000.
Phoenix’s eyes widened, he couldn’t believe it, the room erupted in cheers. It was getting close now, no one knew how much longer Edgeworth could keep up. The relentless cascade of blocks intensified, yet Edgeworth navigated through them with unmatched precision. The room, once filled with exclamations and cheers, was now consumed by an almost reverent silence, broken only by the rhythmic sounds of Tetris gameplay. Edgeworth felt as if he were back in the courtroom, the familiar feeling of adrenaline flowed through his veins.
789,000. More than twice his personal best.
The pressure was building, and the blocks showed no mercy, descending faster than ever. The blocks slowly began building up higher and higher. Edgeworth’s once precise and purposeful block placements descended into panicked and chaotic misplacements. The room, once filled with cheers, was now punctuated by gasps and murmurs of concern.
Phoenix doesn’t remember when it happened but he found himself and Gumshoe holding onto each other for moral support. Trucy, Apollo, and Athena were all holding hands.
“I don’t think I can watch” Maya yelped, her hands flying to cover her eyes
His carefully constructed lines became a haphazard tower, getting higher and higher to the top of the screen, and his inescapable end.
The inevitable descent of an unfitting tetromino began, and as the ill fated piece locked into place the game was over.
With a final score of 798,567 just short of 800,000.
The room was filled with a cacophony of despair, “NOOO”s and “AWWWW”s echoing through the office.
Edgeworth set down the controller and heaved a big sigh, finally freed from the Tetris purgatory he had created for himself. He was going to be seeing these blocks when he slept tonight.
“I never thought I’d be able to get a score so high…” The man breathed, “….I must show Kay.” Edgeworth then quickly snapped a photo of his score.
Apollo hung his head low in realization, “...now that highscore is gonna be on my switch forever to haunt me…”. Athena patted the attorney’s back in reassurance
“Alright! You’re hereby banned from any future Tetris multiplayer!! You got to give us little guys a chance, Edgey!” Larry was shaking his fists.
“Yeah pal! You’ve got an unfair advantage!”
Phoenix rolled his eyes.
“I never took you for a gamer Edgeworth” Mia chuckled, Phoenix forgot she was there and got a mini heart attack when channeled Mia spoke up.
Edgeworth merely scoffed at her comment replying with, “I prefer, ‘avid puzzle solver’ “ , tapping his forefinger to his temple.
Phoenix was at a loss for words and also grappling with the question of why he thought his partner’s prowess at tetris was really hot.
“Edgeworth that was…”
“DADDYYY we ran out of apple cider!!!” Trucy whined from across the room as she waved around an empty jug.
Edgeworth cocked his head in question and Phoenix sighed, “Nevermind… uhh don’t worry honey, I’ll run to the store and get more”
___
By the time Phoenix was back Larry and Ema had both gone home. Larry insisted that he missed his girlfriend and Ema had to wake up early the next day. Phoenix heard the familiar booming voice of Edgeworth through the door when he returned from the store, a jug of apple cider cradled in his arm.
“DETECTIVE. YOU CANNOT FIGHT A HORSE.”
(HUH?? What the actual FUCK are they talking about in there.) .
He took a deep breath and opened the door, mentally preparing for the shenanigans he was about to walk into.
“Look pal, I wouldn't wanna harm an innocent horse, but if it were a dirty, rotten, no-good, good-for-nothing horse”, the detective crossed his arms and huffed proudly.
“I'd be more than ready to throw hands! I’m winning that fight and arresting that fiend!.”
“Oh yeah, what is your plan of attack Detective? When a horse is running at you at full speed? Please enlighten me.”
“Psh? Ya think I’m gonna reveal my tactics to you that easy? Nuh uh pal”, Gumshoe waggled his finger at his exasperated boss and scoffed
Edgeworth looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel and slammed his fist on the table,
“Detective. You can't POSSIBLY think you could beat a horse in a fight, they are 900+ pounds of pure MUSCLE.”
“and that horse never met ME. Okay? Look I’m no advocate of horse violence, but I can say with ehh…about 99.9% certainty that if it was me versus a horse. I’m coming out victorious.”
At this point Edgeworth had his head in his hands, “Gumshoe…if you try to fight a horse. I will dock your pay.”
The prosecutor was less concerned at proving a point, and more concerned of the high probability of Gumshoe actually picking a fight with a real horse. He wouldn’t put it past the man, knowing how stubborn he is. He fell silent, mentally preparing for the future when he inevitably has to hold back Gumshoe from getting into a fist fight with a horse.
Apollo, Athena,and Trucy were all screeching with laughter while this all ensued. All 3 of them clutching onto each other for balance as they laughed until their cheeks hurt.
“I see. So if an ordinary race horse were to suddenly appear in, for the sake of this example, the main hall of the Wright Law Office, you would be able to defeat it in a fight? I don’t believe that.” Mia said sternly.
“HUH? MIA?? Why are you still here???”
In the midst of the heated argument Phoenix was ignored.
“Sure, I’d fight it all the way back to wherever it came from! You can bet your bottom dollar that I’m ready to give that horse a knuckle sandwich. It doesn’t matter if it’s an ordinary horse or one of those racehorses, I’ll be sure to show no mercy and keep fighting until it’s defeated!” Gumshoe shouted proudly, prompting another fit of laughter from the kids.
Mia’s glare at the man was unwavering, “Detective, a horse’s kick carries about 2,000 pounds of force. If you get kicked by a horse it will shatter all your bones upon impact.”
Gumshoe chuckled, “Easy answer there pal, I’d simply not get kicked.”
“NNGRK-” Edgeworth made an inhuman noise from his throat and nearly ripped his hair out.
“I’ll dodge it like I've been dodging punches all my life!” This statement earned Gumshoe a face palm from Mia and the Mia glare™.
Edgeworth roughly grabbed the detective by the collar, exasperated.
“Your confidence in your abilities borders on DELUSION, Detective. You can't POSSIBLY hope to defeat the average horse in a direct confrontation.”
The man didn’t even flinch, “I'd kick a horse's butt at any time in any terrain. On an island, under the sea, in the sky, you name it! As long as it’s a dirty horse, you can bet your boots that Gumshoe will be on the case, ready to kick butt!”
“I'M GOING TO PEE MYSELF” Athena screeched with laughter.
Phoenix sighed and rubbed his temples, accepting that there’ll never be just a normal night at Wright and Anything co.