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Etho had no reason to be at the mansion. He was supposed to be back at the tower, at TIES, helping his teammates prepare for whatever the rest of the game had in store for them. The timer on his wrist continued to tick down relentlessly. He had no time to waste.
So why was he standing around, staring up at the mansion, just letting seconds tick away?
Joel. Of course it was Joel. There hadn’t been a second where Etho didn’t think about him lately. After Double Life? It was a lost cause. One couldn’t just have their very soul connected to someone else and be expected to walk away from it unscathed. No, Etho had been thoroughly hooked by his soulmate and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.
But at least he could admit it. Could admit that he stole glances at Joel whenever he could, stared at him when he knew no one was looking. He thought about him whenever he had a moment to himself. But when Tango asked what he was thinking about while he zoned out, he’d wave it off with some quick excuse. What would they think of him if he told the truth? No, this was his own secret to keep.
When he’d killed him back in week four, he’d come a little too close to burning himself on Joel. There’d been a mania to his voice he hadn’t meant to let slip. He never meant to show how much fun it was to be so close to him again, to attack him with such fervour, to taste his panic as he took heart after heart.
He shouldn’t get too close. Getting close risked Joel finding out.
He still climbed the burnt wood carefully and quietly, listening for any sounds in the mansion. Maybe Joel wasn’t home, or maybe Jimmy and Grian were. He could steal from them, as an excuse as to why he was there in the first place.
What would he do if Joel was home? Stare from a distance? Take in his enemy until every detail was etched into his mind? What would he say if Joel found him? Etho didn’t want to think about the answers for too long.
Movement distracted him. He paused his climb, hiding his body behind ash-stained stones as he looked deeper into the emptiness that was the inside of the mansion. He strained to see in the darkness, and- wait! There! On the ground level, the lone figure of the one person he’d been looking for paced around.
Etho adjusted his grip on the stone and relaxed into place. He hadn’t been spotted just yet. And, even in the darkness, he could easily make out his soulmate. Studded leather jacket, sunglasses, fingerless gloves, the sleeves of his white shirt that were just short enough to put emphasis on his biceps. These were all features he’d carved into his mind already this season. The outfit suited him well, very well, and he had the sudden stupid idea to thank Jimmy for it later. He truly couldn’t get enough of it.
He could only watch as Joel placed a crafting table and got to work. Quietly and all alone. It would be so easy to climb a little further, drop behind him and slice his throat before he knew what was happening. The urge made his skin itch, but he stayed exactly where he was, just watching. And really, Joel had no right to look that pretty while he was grinding away to craft whatever.
In the end, it was something akin to guilt that got him moving from his place. A sense of shame for staring so long. Or maybe he just needed to relieve the urge to get closer, to hear his voice maybe.
He dropped down onto the cobblestone floor near silently. Joel’s head shot up anyways. The tools on the table were forgotten as he straightened up and levelled Etho with narrowed eyes. “What are you doing here?”
And he shrugged, casually stepping over. “Just checking up on my enemies, you know how it is.” He grinned, and they both knew Joel knew exactly what was under the mask. Joel’s eyes slipped down to the black fabric anyways, for a split second. “Nothing wrong with that, right?”
A suspicious hum. “And you corner me in the darkest, most hidden place on the server. Are you sure you’re just checking?”
Etho only then noticed their surroundings. Like he’d said, he did corner Joel. Two still standing walls were behind him, and the only way out would be past Etho. He didn’t know why it made him grin wider. “My bad,” he said, but didn’t mean it.
Just being close to Joel again made his heart speed up. It would be so easy to pull out his sword or axe and vault over the crafting table. How quickly would he be able to defend himself? He licked his lips as he thought about the question.
Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t want his soulmate out of the game. But the hunt, the chase, the thrill of fighting him, it couldn’t compare to anything else. He didn’t do it to hurt, he did it to show Joel he still cared about him, about what they were. That made sense, right?
“Any other reasons you’re here alone? Surely you’re not here to kill me. Where’s Impulse? Or Tango and Skizz? You can’t take me on alone.” Joel’s grin matched his own. His clever eyes were taking him in as a whole, figuring out whatever plan he had.
Etho had to admit to himself that there was no plan. He really couldn’t take on Joel alone. He’d just wanted to be near his soulmate again, to hear his voice and let the rope of his obsession twist tighter around his neck. So he tore his eyes away. He found himself shrugging, suddenly regretting even coming close. He should’ve known it would be hard to leave afterwards.
Words were on his tongue, just begging to be said, but he swallowed them back down. He didn’t want Joel to know just yet. First, he had to get himself under control.
“I really was just checking in, to see how my soulmate was doing. Is that a bad thing?”
And he knew what Joel would say before he even opened his mouth. “We’re not soulmates anymore.” A glowing diamond sword appeared in his hand. Did Joel not feel safe around him? Not comfortable?
Despite those thoughts, the weapon made his blood pump faster. The sharp edges just screamed danger — and the parts of his mind currently drooling over Joel were stronger than his instincts telling him to back off.
In a move that surprised them both, Etho shot forward to grab his wrist and twist the sword out of his hand. In his momentum, he grabbed a fistful of the other’s shirt. The air was knocked straight out of Joel when forced against the wall behind him barely a second later. Etho towered over him, having the advantage of being a good head taller.
“Etho?!” He struggled in his grip, though not for very long. As soon as he realised he’d been properly trapped between the wall and Etho, he seemed to stop fighting him as hard. “What are you-”
He grabbed Joel by the jacket with both of his hands and stared with wide eyes. “I killed you. I got you down to yellow.”
Joel blinked. “What? Yes, I know you bloody did! What’s gotten into you? Are-” he paused to take him in once again, a baffled and out of breath huff escaping him, “- are you okay?”
How was he supposed to answer that? He’d done it for Joel, to show he still cared. But, in hindsight, he probably looked insane. Like a true freak. His grip on the jacket eased with that realisation. As much as he wanted Joel to reciprocate whatever feelings were making his head whirl like a hurricane and setting his entire body on fire, this would just push him away.
“Fine.” He had to swallow. “Sorry.”
Joel’s eyes flicked over his face. He frowned, more and more at ease in Etho’s weakening grip. “It was a good kill, you had me panicking.” The words were said carefully, as if he was testing the waters.
He couldn’t help the way his eyes lit up at the praise.
Joel’s hand raised. His fingers ghosted over his skin as he grabbed ahold of his mask gently, but he waited, looked up at him, and gave him every chance to back away or stop him before pulling the mask down.
Cool air hit him and he had to fight the urge to suck in a sharp breath at the slight sting on his skin. “Why’d you do that?”
“I wanted an honest Etho. You mask everything — pun intended — when you’re trying to hide something. So what’s really going on?”
He swallowed thickly, trying to make sure his face didn’t betray a single emotion. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he looked down at the other. What was he even supposed to tell him?
“You look like you’re debating between killing me or kissing me,” Joel commented quietly, jokingly, but he had no idea just how right he was. He had no clue about the inner conflict.
Etho wanted to slice his throat and later ask him if he was proud of his kill, in some odd way of showing he still cared about his soulmate. But he also wanted to shut him up before any more questions were asked. The most effective way would be to just kiss him, and confess the storm of emotions he felt without any actual words.
A breathless laugh escaped him at the accusation. He couldn’t even deny it. “Which one would you prefer?” was what he asked after a moment of silence. Because there really was no other option. If he left now, without satisfying the hunger devouring him, he’d go insane.
Joel’s mouth fell open slightly. A hint of understanding crossed his face, and his cheeks flushed red. “I’d rather not lose more time … Kiss me?”
And that was all the encouragement he needed to close the gap between them. The fire inside blazed into a raging forest fire at first contact. His eyes slipped closed as Joel’s lips moved against his own, warm hands reaching up to rest at the back of his neck
For a moment Etho wondered if Joel had been just as insane about them this entire time. With the way nails dug into his skin and teeth nearly drew blood from his lips, he could almost forget about his anxiety. About the fear of his love not being reciprocated. His name would fall from Joel’s lips like a promise, passed between just the two of them in gasps, and it would feel like they’d done this a million times before.
Being pushed away felt like a stab in the chest. A hand rested on his chest, keeping him from diving back in. “People are gonna wonder where we are.”
He swallowed a noise akin to a growl down before it could slip out. “Let them wonder. I don’t care.”
The ice cold of diamond separated them further. The blade of Joel’s axe rested against his throat before he could even blink, and the man grinned wickedly. “We don’t have time to waste, Etho,” he whispered. To an outsider it wouldn’t seem remorseful, but there was the smallest hint of regret to his words.
His eyes flicked back down to Joel’s lips, and he had to fight the urge to lean down and kiss him again despite the axe that would cut right through his skin. All he wanted was Joel. He couldn’t give a damn about that timer, nor the entire game. If he was there with him, the rest of the world didn’t matter.
“You’re gonna have to let me go.” To emphasise his words, he lowered the axe. “I need to get back to Jimmy and Grian.”
Etho frowned but released him from his grip. It felt weird, just utterly wrong to do so. If Joel would ask, he’d betray the entire world to be by his side. He’d never let go. Would never have to. But right then, he stepped away, his face darkening.
Joel walked away, back to the crafting table where his stuff still waited for him. “This was fun and all, but we’ve both got our alliances. We’re not supposed to be this … close. Whatever it is, it’s not allowed. You know that, right?” And he dared a look back at Etho, the question written on his face as if he actually needed an answer to that.
“I know,” he replied. His voice managed not to betray the war inside. He knew fully well they weren’t allowed to team up again. Still, he shook his head. “But how can you just move on from being soulbound?”
At those words, the other frowned. He absentmindedly put away his items and crafting table as he stared him down. His eyes dragged over him, from the very top to the bottom. A hum escaped him then. Maybe it was amusement or maybe he finally understood what drove him, but he managed to grin and raise an eyebrow.
“Who says I’ve moved on?” Shooting Etho a wink, he left.
Only the echoes of his footsteps and the lingering warmth on Etho’s face and neck remained as evidence he’d been there at all. He reached a hand up to his face, thumb hovering over the bruises left on his lips. He ran his tongue over them, over the reminder of his time with Joel. He’d cherish them for however long they’d stay. Maybe, just maybe, there’d be more to add before he could forget those memories.
Slotting his mask back over his face, he steeled himself and cleared his throat. His team would be wondering where the hell he’d gone. He found his way back out from under the mansion with ease and didn’t hesitate to cross the forest to get to their tower.
When he looked back at some point, there were three figures atop the mansion. One of them stood out to Etho, as he always did, and the fire in his chest sparked for a moment.
Joel was only fueling that fire, and he knew it. They both knew it. They were bound to lose control of it. Before long, it would consume them both. Etho couldn’t help looking forward to it.