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City sights, wobbly feet, slightly unhinged giggles. Stan and Kyle stared out at the view in front of them, so noisy and vast. So easy to tumble and fall below where the cars would catch them, but the thought never crossed their minds. In such a state, alcohol was what had claimed the two.
This was certainly not something they did anymore, not since a long time ago. When they still ran through the fields, when they were surrounded by mountains, snow and the aroma of cheap smoke and booze. Not that the city was much different, apart from tall buildings that towered over everything, but that change was rather positive.
With a smile on his freckled face, he turned to Stan, “We’ve never been on the rooftop before, wonder why” How long had they been living there together? Such details were lost in time.
Stan shrugged back, “Guess I’m so drunk my fear of heights just vanished” He chuckled, causing Kyle to roll his eyes. “Yeah right, how many bottles did we even drink?” Though normally the redhead would be scolding his dear friend for such reckless behaviour, they were both 22 and he’d realised he needed to let loose more.
“Dunno!” Stan laughed loudly, stumbling onto the ground to sit down. Kyle followed.
Both felt somewhat dizzy, somewhat fuzzy as well. Their bodies were in a state of dreaming.., their minds lost and hazy. But they were lost together, and thats what made it so easy to just .. not care. They sat in silence, blurred lights from cars and the buildings opposite them reflecting onto their faces.
Breathing slowly, in and out. Kyle never would’ve believed he’d be here. He blinked, every time he opened his eyes revealing an even more vague scenery. He didn’t seem to mind the bitterness on his tongue, he didn’t seem to register the way his limbs fell limp.
He’d always wanted something like this. Some nights he’d stay up in his bed, shamelessly wondering what a future with Stan would look like. He couldn’t help it, his heart longed for it.
Kyle enjoyed his life in South Park, but something felt off. He loved his family, his school, his friends. It was his life. But something about the thought of holding Stan’s hand in the dark.., opening up to an apartment they could call their own.
Kyle didn’t realise, his eyes had slowly drifted to the boy next to him. Stan was stuck in his head as well, letting whatever he wanted roam free. He liked the tingly drunk feeling. Kyle never got used to it, but seeing his super best friend next to him soothed him.
His palm scrunched up into a fist, his legs shifted. How come he never took even a single moment to realise how much this meant to him?
Then he was aware of the half lidded eyes of ocean, ones that glowed particularly bright in the darkness. “You look really drunk” Kyle said. He wasn’t wrong. But he just had to say something to ease his mind, something to justify that look on his dumb face.
He saw Stan’s smile widen and soften, a moment that went past all too quickly. Kyle wished he could’ve crawled into his brain.. see what he saw. See what he was thinking.
“I like me more when you’re here” The redhead felt his skin begin to bubble and burn like a pot of soup. Was that normal?
Neither looked away, nor did Kyle say anything. Stan’s expression remained calm, the alcohol running its turn. If they weren’t in this position, he probably would’ve thrown up by now. “You’re like…. Everything to me..” He spoke again, obvious he was more in a daze than actually aware of what he was saying.
But even when he probably had no idea what he was talking about, he continued to stare at Kyle, as if he were admiring the boy. The redhead became hyper-aware and suddenly he was desperate not to sober up.
He focussed on Stan’s small yet pretty eyelashes, the curve his lips were in. Blood still rushed to his cheeks, even with the cooling breeze.
His heart beat faster, and so did Stan’s. The warmth of his chest.. the dizzying flush on his face.. was it the alcohol? “I’d be a mess without you..” Nope. Kyle’s stomach elevated, and as he took a deep breath in, his lips parted to speak.
“I .. I love you” His tongue had taken a turn for what he wanted to say. Now his face contorted into a dark shade of scarlet, one that Stan had always found embarrassingly stunning on Kyle.
The redhead immediately bit his tongue and a rush of aching struck him. Damn it. Both of their eyes widened, but Stan ultimately kept his laidback smirk as if he just didn’t care. He shouldn’t, this shouldn’t be a big deal. Those words were exchanged between the two a lot, they knew where they held each other in their hearts.
But his tone was shy.., quiet. Like the meaning behind this time was different. “I love you too” Stan tilted his head so it could lean on his shoulder, and watched him with a face that said “I feel the same”. Common sense had disappeared.
Did they need to expand on what these feelings meant exactly..? Would they seal their loyalty and love for each other with a kiss..?
Kyle managed to offer a small grin before swinging his attention back to the apartments and artificial lights in front of them. He held his dried and shaky hands in his lap, attempting to calm down his heartbeat. But it wouldn’t stop drumming through his ears.
He felt shifting next to him and saw Stan had moved closer. His gorgeous eyes continued to linger on Kyle’s features. He felt so special for once. He could smell the breath of booze and though he normally resented it, he wanted it closer.
Hesitantly, he turned to his super best friend. “I love you” Stan vocalised once again, this time more hushed but each word intentional.
God, Kyle could perish right then and there. The beating became faster and it ran circles around his brain. The wall that had been present for all these years, being torn down by a singular glance, the tone and purpose of what Stan said from his mind that was muddled by a toxic substance. Fuck it.
He swallowed, “I do too” He said it lower, but he needed to make Stan understand.
And he did. Never had the rooftop of an apartment in New York been so relevant. Such a special place. Two roommates, two hearts that beat only for the other.