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Little Drummer Boy
It was something straight out of a shitty Christmas movie.
Eddie wasn’t convinced that some higher being hadn’t sent down the whole damn situation to torture him.
Had he not earned a break from the relentless torture that society insisted on dragging him through on the daily?
Hell, he had died for this godforsaken town and this was his reward?
Steve motherfucking Harrington walking around looking like Mr. December in a charity pin up calendar, right in front of his poor besotted eyes.
He had only taken this job over the holidays to save up enough to actually move out of Wayne's, god knows his uncle deserved to have his own space. Wayne didn't need his deadbeat nephew under foot any longer, but between working on his GED and the few questionable side hustles -aka anyone that would employ a high school dropout who was accused of murder- his options had been few and far between.
Joyce Byers had been left in charge of the Hawkins festive festival, and like the absolute angel she was she had put him to work alongside Robin and Steve as the general dogsbodies. No job too big. No job too small.
However, this almost constant presence of Steve was hard-wiring Eddie's brain to sit constantly at a state of half horny half stupid. Sometimes he couldn't hide the frustrated grunt that shot out of him as he banged his head on the counter. It happened whenever Steve walked past with his stupid ruddy cheeks doing something dashing and noble and endearing himself even more to that really weak part of Eddie's psyche.
So far in the last few days since they had set up, he had been a witness too, in no discernible order a thousand tiny acts of Harrington heroics.
Steve had shimmied up the enormous Christmas tree in the town square to fix one of the blown out lights. The view had been spectacular, his stupid handsome grin shining almost as bright as the plastic angel that was lit up on top of the finest spruce the town had to offer. Various cheesy Christmas hits interwoven with carols filling the air as Steve had meticulously twisted each light one at a time.
Eddie had held the ladder as Robin taunted him relentlessly about his stupid crush under her breath.
“Come they told me Pa rum pum pum pum A newborn king to see Pa rum pum pum pum”
Eddie loudly sang along to the music coming from the speakers in the town square, hopefully drowning out her words enough that Steve couldn't hear her from his precarious perch. Robin looked too smug in her knowing glances and her eyebrow wiggles.
Eddie almost regretted letting Robin in on his dirty little, very confusing, secret, but it felt right at the time. Even if he couldn't quite get his head around the idea that he might be attracted to another man. He stupidly figured Robin would know where he was coming from even if it was from the opposite direction so to speak. Robin hadn’t asked for specifics but it wasn’t hard to guess who his life-changing revelation was over. It wasn’t as if there were that many people in their immediate friend circle.
But Eddie dared anyone not to fall a little in love with Steve Harrington, Demobat slayer. He was charming to a damn fault, nobody was immune to it, he even had Hopper wrapped around his little finger. And that was all it was, the charm. He wasn’t having very new, very frightening feelings over one of his best friends. The man who had saved him.
Blah blah blah it was like some stupid typical pulp fiction trope, right down to the hairy chested man boobs, torn shirts and epic scars, just make it gayer. Even so… Eddie… he wasn't gay, at least he didn't think he was? Right now staring up at Steve leaning over to flick at a dud bulb his tongue poking out between pink chapped lips, Eddie wasn’t sure how long he could keep telling himself that.
When Steve's feet were firmly back on the ground he had quizzed them on what was so funny.
Eddie had gone bright red and deflected but Robin had just said something catty about Eddie enjoying the view.
It didn't help his cause when he helped Steve put the damn ladder away, following behind holding the other end of the rungs trying to look anywhere but at the picture perfect view of Steve’s ass in blue jeans.
“A newborn king to see Pa rum pum pum pum” Eddie muttered under his breath, singing along to distract his stupid mind. Steve watched him quizzically as he propped the ladder up against the wall.
“That song gets stuck in your head right?”
“Yeah something like that.” Eddie was glad when the walkie on his belt burst to life asking them to come help set up the candy cane village.
Steve saving the baby Jesus was unexpected. An epic hero moment, saving the son of God from the jaws of the stray dog that had kidnapped the thing from the nativity scene outside the church.
Eddie had seen Steve take down three Demodogs with one swing of a bat, however it paled in comparison to watching Steve dive head first into action mode to chase a Jack Russell Terrier into the dumpster behind Maldives. He had returned victorious hoisting the little plastic doll above his head until he passed it on to old Mrs. Stevens to put back in it manger.
Robin was forced to listen to how her ‘nice young man’ had saved the day for the rest of the shift and Eddie had wound her up relentlessly. Sweet revenge for the inner turmoil she had inflicted on him.
“Robie and Stevie sitting in a tree…” Eddie teased as they watched Steve getting force fed sugar cookies from the women of the church guild.
It earned him a punch in the arm so strong it nearly knocked him off the fence where he was sitting. “It's not me who wants to be sitting in a tree-” She was about to go on a rant…
“ Our Finest gifts we bring, ” he jumped down from the fence “ To lay before the king pa rum pa pum pum So to honor him ” Eddie sung as he plucked a hot chocolate from the stand he was supposed to be manning and skipping over to Steve he presented him with his stolen bounty.
“What's this for?” Steve asked, looking down at the festive paper cup.
“You just saved the son of god, my good sir. That deserves the finest vittles.” Eddie joked, bowing low. “Plus, you need more sugar to wash down all that sugar, sugar.”
“That's a lot of sugar.” Steve beamed at him. Cheeks flushing.
“Sugar and spice and all things nice, Stevie.” He knew his own face was reddening, even more so when he realized they had an audience. The ladies of the church guild were watching them both, eyes wide.
“I am a poor boy too. ra pum pa pum pum I have no gift to bring.” Eddie sang slinking over to the woman standing next to Mrs. Wheeler and gently taking the effigy of the baby Jesus and bolting the tiny fence to secure the thing into its manger with a zip tie. Then because ‘tis the season ‘ replacing the swaddling around it with all the care of a new father, tucking in his firstborn.
Rattling out a drumming rhythm on the wood before he straightened up, he gave a rousing chorus of the song that was well and truly stuck in his head.
“And to think we thought you were a serial killer.” Mrs. Causey from the post office offered a sugar cookie like she hadn't just said the most bat shit crazy thing a woman in a knitted two piece wearing a pink bobble hat had ever said.
“I never thought you would have done the things they said you did Edward.” Ms. Roberts said, nudging Mrs. Causey in the side. “I know your dad, Al made some stupid choices, but he’s a big old pussycat. Mad as a box of frogs, but wouldn't hurt a fly. I very much doubt any son of his would do such awful things.“
Mrs. Causey looked like she was about to say more, but Ms. Roberts hushed her up. To be fair, it was nice to hear someone say good things about his old man for a change. But he was holding off on the mad as a box of frogs until next week when he went to see his Dad on visitation. Last time he had spoken to him he was trying to persuade the guards to let him do a nativity play for the other inmates. It probably hadn’t ended well, Al Munson’s big ideas never ended well. That was why Eddie was with his Uncle Wayne after all.
Eddie smiled his most shit-eating grin in the general direction of the good women of Hawkins, “Ah, Yeah dad has the flair for the dramatics, and I'm afraid the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But I’ve got Steve to keep me on the straight and narrow. Isn’t that right Stevie?” He jumped the fence again, this time landing with a wobble right in front of Steve. The other man reached out to steady him, with a flourish so as not to spill his hot chocolate. “Ah, my hero, you see this ladies? You need to watch your daughters, he will sweep them off their feet next.”
“I think we need to watch out for the pair of you Mr. Munson, you’re both quite the catch.” Ms. Roberts grinned as she started walking away. “Charming and resourceful. Quick thinking with the zip tie, maybe next year we should handcuff the baby Jesus down, less chance of a canine abduction”
Eddie was suddenly aware that Steve still had hold of him by the waist, he jumped away as if burned. It was one thing to be close behind closed doors, quite another to be like that outside and in front of the damn Nativity scene of all things. Eddie clocked the quick look Steve shot towards his handcuff belt, and ached to make a joke but Robin came to save the day. Demanding that they come and help with a spillage on the ice rink.
Still Eddie couldn’t help but feel that every time he looked up to talk to Steve, he caught the man quickly turning away, like he was already looking at him and had gotten caught. Eddie was finding it hard to believe that the redness in Steve’s face was all to do with the cold.
Christmas eve snuck up quickly. And with it Robin’s relentless teasing somehow increased.
Every time she walked past now she would sing the stupid little drummer boy song, but now she had alternative words for the damn thing, and every time Eddie heard it over the speakers it instantly reminded him of Steve’s existence. Because Robin was a cruel and evil being sent to drive him to his own despair.
“Don’t stare at Steve’s bum, pum pum pu pum pum” Robin sang as she rounded him on the outskirts of the candy cane village, dressed as a jolly little elf arms full of mystery gifts for the meek and mild, or whatever it was kids were supposed to be, he hadn’t been paying attention in that part of the class. Thankfully, Steve was busy perfecting the piles of presents, attempting to make them stay in neat stacks, it would have been easier if he wasn't struggling with the stupid elf costumes Joyce had bullied them all into. He kept tugging the ill-fitting trousers from where his butt cheeks were trying to consume the itchy material. Eddie wasn't fairing much better but he at least had less to deal with in the ass department. It was hard to pull out a wedgie when you jingled all the way.
On the plus side, they had gotten off lightly, Hopper was currently dressed as a very unconvincing Santa Claus, and the rugrats had been roped into dressing as Angels and were currently caroling next to the tree- the lights kept flickering and they all kept exchanging worried glances, or at least they had until El glared the bulbs into submission.
To make matters worse, Steve started to sing the song under his breath all the damn time now. Eddie was getting some sort of twisted pavilion response to the tune. He was like a mouse looking for a treat. Whenever he heard that man offer his little drumsticks up to the little baby king he perked up and automatically sought big King Steve. And he was pretty sure Steve had cottoned on to him. Because whenever the song came on the festive rotation, right between Wham and David Essex, Steve was within viewing range of Eddie's new superpower.
It was hopeless he was hopeless, and right now he couldn't escape, not the same 24 Christmas songs on repeat or Steve and his peachy bum bu bum bum - fucking Robin!
The sound of bells jingling signaled Robin's return just as the telltale drumming started up through the speakers .
“If I hear this song one more time, I’m going to jail.”
Eddie nearly knocked himself out spinning on the spot. He hadn't expected Steve to sneak up to him when he jingled and jangled more than any one man should. Eddie hadn't noticed that the crowd had thinned, it must be time for Hopper's grand entrance. At least they only had to man the grotto and the sugar heart attack that was the line. Argyle and Jonathan were manning the slay.
“I thought you liked the little drummer boy?” Eddie rocked back on his feet trying not to look like Steve hadn't scared the ever living shit out of him.
“I do, but we hear it like sixty times a day, not including the wonderful remixed version you and Robin seem to have penned in your downtime.” Steve cocked an eyebrow, “Who knew Steve and bum could be used in so many creative ways?”
Eddie nonchalantly looked across the square, pretending to watch the Santa procession. He felt Steve step towards him, this time he jingled. He must have been ninja as fuck to get the drop on Eddie, because every minute movement was like crisp Stereo sound right now.
“Oh, come on Eds I totally set you up for that one, not even a ‘that's what she said’ joke? You're probably already on the good list, I mean saving the world has to be worth at least that right.” Steve's voice quietened towards the end, as if something had caught his attention.
He chanced a look at Steve from below the rim of his elf hat that he had pulled down further both to hide from Steve's questioning gaze, and protect himself a little more from the snow that had begun to gently fall. Steve was ignoring him now watching the white flecks falling, the first of the year. It wasn't the same now, not when it looked too much like the particles that had engulfed them and blocked out the sun. The haunted weary look crossed Steve's face and Eddie wanted to do anything to replace it with that content smile he had seen for the last two weeks.
“I write you a ballad about that peachy ass of yours, and all you do is complain.”
“You missed the ra pum pa pum pum” Steve pointed out, but the frown was gone, replaced with a smirk. He looked like the epitome of a bad idea. But bad ideas were something Eddie excelled at.
Eddie suddenly felt brave, there was a first time for everything.
“Ass doesn't fit the rhythm. It's got to be bum or butt, Dustin's A big butt head pa rumpa pum pum. See, fits the pattern. Has Weird Al taught you nothing?”
“I mean he's taught me how to make a damn fine sandwich.” He shrugged, shuffling forward and flicking the bell that hung on the end of Eddie's elf hat.
It rang out its happy little tune as Eddie focused on that and not the fact that Steve was up close, right in his personal space. Like how was he supposed to function with this blatant discard for his boundaries? If Eddie’s brain would like to send his body an answer on a postcard, he was happy to receive its feedback.
Was it hot in here? Had someone turned on the space heater? Had Eddie or Steve accidentally set fire to their stupid polyester and wool crimes against fashion?
Was it just him? Was he having a stroke? Was this some dormant form of upside down rabies? If it was, Robin would kill him. He had bitten her only last week when trying to stop her stealing the remote at Steve's place. She had bitten him first; it was only fair. But if it was rabies at least death by Robin would be a quicker way to go, then whatever was making his heart drum in his chest like the warm-up act to Megadeth.
Steve tapped the bell on the end of Eddie’s hat again, he was trying to do it in time to the jolly HO HO HO of Hopper over the speakers, but he failed miserably. Still Eddie watched every little movement, like he was about to sit a SAT on Steve Harrington and he had to pass or there would be grave consequences for his immediate future.
“You're the musical one okay. I haven’t got a musical bone in my body-” Steve was grinning at him now, a bright thing that made his eyes sparkle in the twinkling rainbow lights of the sugar plum grotto. One eyebrow was sneaking dangerously close to his hairline, it was like he was waiting for Eddie to finish his sentence, or catch up to the joke. Unfortunately for Steve Eddie’s brain had taken a mini sabbatical, it had to go somewhere to send him that postcard after all.
“Ok what’s up, that’s the second terrible sexual innuendo I’ve set you up for and you failed me dude, where’s your head at?” Steve tapped the side of his face and Eddie turned to look at him. Nobody should look good dressed as a bloody elf, but Steve was somehow pulling it off.
Oh shit, he was talking again and Eddie hadn’t heard a word of it. Staring at Steve’s chapped lips should really make it easier to follow the situation, but when had anything worked out right for Eddie.
Just then the speakers kicked in and the dulcet sounds of George Micheal filled the little room around them.
“Maybe next year I'll give it to someone special”
The Santa parade must almost be over, soon this little bubble between them would be filled with sugar-filled hoodlums. But right now it was just him and Steve and in any second …
“Would you look at that, it's the song about my bum.” Steve wiggled his eyebrows and the bells on his hat jingled, but that wasn’t the thing that caught Eddie’s attention.
The feeling of Steve’s nose brushing his own was the only thing he could grasp as real. Steve was too close. He tried to focus on him but it was making him cross-eyed.
Why was Steve so close?
Anyone would think he was trying to- oh…
“Please don’t hit me.” Steve whispered as his lips softly pressed against Eddie’s, there was a moment's hesitation as Eddie’s brain got the memo, and Steve started to pull away. Probably thinking that he was about to get up close and personal with Eddie’s rings to his face. He was, but not from a punch, Eddie somehow found the cognitive function to get his body to do what he wanted. A hand coming up to grab Steve’s face and pull him back in for a kiss, and the other one finally getting to grips with Steve’s right butt cheek. It seemed to be all Steve needed to press back in and drag Eddie into him till there was no doubt that this was what they both wanted.
Steve made a content noise as he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Eddie’s, filling the space between them with a chuckle.
“Did you just pat my butt in time to this song?”
“Maybe?”
“Does that make you the little drummer boy?”
“Ah, less of the little, big boy try before you deny and all that. Stevie the real question here is are you the king, the gift or are you my drum… pum pa pum pum” Eddie dropped his other hand to Steves other cheek tap out the beat in time to the song.
That got a dirty snort of a laugh, and it was one of the best sounds Eddie had ever heard.
Suddenly Eddie felt like he was the bravest man in the world.
“So, am I visiting you in jail? Do they still do conjugal visits?” Eddie asked, nudging Steve's nose with his own “Do I have to start wearing dresses so I can fool the guards and have my wicked way with my jailbird of a lover?”
“I mean, what I want to do to you would probably get me arrested in at least five states.” Steve glanced across the snowy square. The sound of the Christmas hoard moving towards them with Hopper guiding the way growing ever nearer.. The bubble of whatever the fuck this was was getting smaller by the second “But since I get to do this now-” Steve lent forward and gave Eddie a soft quick kiss, “Hopefully, whenever I want. I won't feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin when I hear this song… ra pum pa pum pum?”
“Hey, that one almost worked!” Eddie grinned as the first of the visitors to Santa's grotto could be heard crunching up the gravel Oohing and ahhing at Rudolf and his cohorts. Hopefully nobody looked too close and realized they were actually just donkey's with fake antlers-it was dark and well the magic of Christmas was doing a lot of heavy lifting (no animals were harmed in the making of this magical wonder-but Robin had almost been kicked, more than once.)
Eddie, feeling bold, snuck in another quick kiss before they were thrown headfirst into the chaos of Christmas eve. They aimed for casualness as the first kids stormed around the corner to join the line.
Robin's face was too knowing when she walked up to join them.. But Eddie was pretty sure nobody had seen anything untoward.
“What did I miss, dingus squared?”
Robin placed herself between them and started untangling the hats from their jingling and jangling entanglement. The dangling ends of the Elf hats joined Eddie and Steve and It was obvious they had to have gotten a little up close and personal for that to have happened, “Did a Christmas miracle happen?” Robin teased as she bounced both bells back off their owners' nose.
“Santa’s Elves can go on the naughty list you know,” Steve tried to stare her down with the same look he shot at the gremlins, but it hadn’t worked on Robin before and it wasn’t about to start doing so now.
“Steve! Do you copy?” The walkie talkie on all their belts crackled into life with the sound of Dustin, throwing Robin and her accusations off track.
“Yeah butt head what is it?” Steve sounded annoyed but his face read as fond.
“Fido’s back for round two, You forgot to say, over. Over.”
Steve looked out across the square and the snow that was now bleaching down.
“Did Fido get through the cable ties? Over.” Eddie radioed back wondering how the dog had got past his fool proof retaining method.
“The manger is halfway down the street. Over.”
Robin looked at the line of kids waiting to go into Santa Hop, then looked at Eddie and Steve. She looked torn, and Eddie knew she was trying to decide if she wanted to tell Dustin to stuff it, or if she could last till the shift was over before getting the juicy gossip.
“Go. Do your stupid action hero thing,” she barked at Steve. She grabbed Eddie by the wrist stopping him from following Steve on his biblical quest. “But you stay here, I need emotional support against the heaving masses,”
Steve saluted her, bouncing on his feet. He nudged Eddie with his hip as he passed. “So little drummer boy. If I don’t get back, mine after work?”
Eddie tried not to be too enthusiastic when he nodded aware that Robin’s eyes were on him.
She looked like she was about to say something when the doors to the grotto opened and the kids in the front of the line started jostling for position to be the first to see the big man in red.
Eddie started taking the tickets as he watched Steve dart around the waiting kids and head out into the snow. He tried not to stare at Steve's ass as he slipped on the snow but he knew he failed when Robin started ra pum pa pum puming at his side.
“Did you tell him?” He whispered accusingly as he helped up the line with his little red rope.
“I didn’t tell him anything. You sing out loud, you big goof.” Robin didn’t have to look so smug,
“I might have nudged him in the right direction. He wasn’t sure he had heard you right, you know I was just doing my bit, making sure that you were both barking up the right pine tree, being a good samaritan”
“I didn't know Steve was … you know?” Eddie muttered under his breath.
“He's not, well he is… a bit. Enough to flirt with you in front of the infant king and half the ladies’ auxiliary.” Robin took the next bunch of kids tickets and waved them through the velvet rope of hope. They all looked drunk on sugar and dazed in the lights. Eddie knew how they felt.
They got to the end of the long line with Eddie in a haze. Steve did not return to them until shortly after Hopper had stormed off complaining he needed at least an entire bottle of whisky to deal with the amount of kids who had asked him for a Ninja Turtle..
Steve hastily locked up the grotto and started toward the car, Robin charging ahead calling shotgun. she narrowly avoided the snowball thrown at her by Steve as he yelled at her to wait up. She pointedly ignored them slipping and sliding in the snow till she got her position at Steve's passenger side.
“It's ok Bucks, I know my place in the pecking order.” Eddie grinned as he slid into the back seat, however he leaned forward to interrupt the silent conversation happening between Robin and Steve. He would never understand the semaphore that was their eyebrows, but he could interrupt the signaling.
As soon as they were outside Robin's. Eddie scrambled through the gap in the chairs to steal her place in the passenger seat. She affectionately rolled her eyes as she turned to say goodnight.
, it’s my gift to you ra pum pa pum pum. Now you can touch Steve’s bum ra pum pa pum pum ” She sang before she slammed the door closed, flipping them both the bird.
“She's going to try to take the credit for this, you know?” Steve said as he snaked his hand over the center console, searching out Eddie's knee to squeeze.
“I mean, credit where it's due, I think we can blame Bing Crosby and David Bowie and their dedication to creating the most annoying earworm that rhymes with your bum.” Eddie watched as Robin pulled the door closed behind her with a wave and a thumbs up. He glanced around the street checking that nobody's curtains were twitching, all he could see was softly falling snow and HOA approved fairy lights. So he took matters into his own hands and twisted his fingers in with Steve’s, tugging him closer, unable to wait any longer.
Steve's lips met Steve's with no resistance, he sunk into the warmth, the feel of Steve's chapped lips moving against his own, it would be easy to get lost in it. He was getting lost in it, right until a snowball hit the windscreen and shocked them apart.
Battle mode activated and the two of them looked for the threat, only to see Robin standing in fluffy pajamas on her porch, waving at them to get a move on.
Heart racing from more than just the shock of the snowball, Eddie flipped her off as Steve put the car into drive and the radio kicked in, the song that had started it all playing quietly as they pulled the corner towards Steve’s house.
“Then He smiled at me pa-rum pum pum pum. Me and my drum Me and my drum.” Eddie sang as he tugged playfully at Steve’s hat, the bells ringing in time to the music, Steve’s smile lighting up the snowy night.
He was living in a cheesy Christmas movie, but for once Eddie Munson was more than happy with that.