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it was stede’s first year at the cabin. he’d always heard ed share fond memories about spending the winter up there, but he never got the chance to stay himself.
and he was incredibly nervous.
it wasn’t like he and ed were freshly into their relationship or anything—having dated for nearly a year at that point and been friends for god knows how much longer—but it felt like a massive leap for them nonetheless.
stede’s thoughts swirled endlessly like the snowstorm currently raging outside as he sat on the couch watching the flurries through the window. ed had insisted on cleaning up from dinner, since stede had been the one to make it (a delicious roast, which he only makes on very special occasions), and ordered stede to sit by the fire and wait for him.
stede was still lost in his head when ed finally came over to the living room, holding two mugs of steaming hot chocolate.
“special delivery,” ed said, setting the mugs down on the hardwood coffee table and taking his seat beside stede. “how’re you doing?”
“i’m freezing,” stede complained, tucking his toes underneath ed’s thigh for warmth, despite the roaring fire in the fireplace being only a few feet away and the thick crocheted blanket on his lap. “how can you stand this every year?”
“it’s not too bad once you get used to it,” ed chuckled, rubbing stede’s leg soothingly, “it helps to have another warm body here, though.”
“o-oh that’s…good to know,” stede managed, face flushing.
“i’m glad you’re here, stede,” ed murmured softly, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to the man’s lips.
“i’m glad i’m here too,” stede replied with a small smile. “thank you for letting me into your space.”
“aw it’s nothing, mate.” ed rested his chin on stede’s knees, looking up at him fondly. “you’re welcome any time, i like sharing my things with you…i like you.”
stede already knew that, of course he did, but still, hearing ed say the words made his heart race.
“i like you too.”
silence stretched over them as they both sipped at their hot chocolate and cuddled closer together, enjoying the fire while they relaxed.
“i actually um…i have something for you,” ed said after a while, sounding a bit nervous. “i was gonna wait until christmas, but i decided, y’know…we’re making our own holiday rules here, so i can give it to you whenever i feel like it.”
“oh?” stede replied, setting his now-empty mug down on the table. “what is it?”
“i’ll go grab it.” ed hopped up from the couch, patting stede’s leg gently. “be back in a tick.”
stede watched as ed disappeared into his bedroom—their bedroom, at least for the holidays—curious as to what he could possibly want to give him that couldn’t wait until the holiday itself.
when ed came back, he was holding a cloth-wrapped package with a sheepish look on his face—passing stede the gift before sitting down beside him again.
“i made it,” ed explained as stede unwrapped the bundle, “‘been working on it nearly all year, actually. i was gonna wait to give it to you, but you were saying how cold you were so i figured…why not now?”
stede was nearly speechless when he revealed the gift—a crocheted sweater, patterned with various shades of blue and white blocks, and made from the softest yarn stede had ever felt.
“ed…” he breathed, smoothing his hands over the sweater in awe, “this is…beautiful. you made this? for me?”
it wasn’t a surprise that ed could crochet such a gorgeous piece—stede was already wrapped up in one of his favourite blankets ed had made—but the fact that ed had done it for him, made his heart nearly burst.
“yeah,” ed murmured in response, smiling shyly at stede. “i wanted to make you something and give it to you here, in a place that’s so special to me, to show how much i care about you…how much i love you.”
“you were planning this?” stede asked, finally looking up from the sweater. “having me up at the cabin?”
“yeah, of course i was,” ed replied, a little confused. “did you think i wasn’t?”
“i mean—” stede shrugged slightly. “—i thought it was more of a ‘spur of the moment’-type thing, since you only asked me a couple days before you were going to leave.”
ed ducked his head, embarrassed. “that was only because i wasn’t sure if you’d say yes, and i just kept getting so anxious about it that i would put off asking you because i didn’t want to face the rejection and—”
stede cut his rambling off with a soft kiss, cupping his cheek warmly. “of course i’d say yes, how could i not? getting the chance to get away with you for the holidays, being at your cabin? well, it’s nothing short of an honor for me.”
ed smiled, his eyes glittering. “it’s an honor to have you—this is just the start, i want to make a million memories with you here.”
“i want that too,” stede replied, gazing up at ed, before adding nervously, “what you said earlier…could you say it again?”
“say what…?” ed paused, before realizing. “i love you?”
“i love you,” stede echoed, sounding close to tears. “oh ed, i love you so much.”
ed’s face broke out into a grin and he launched himself into stede’s arms, holding him close as they repeated the words over and over again.
i love you.
when they finally parted, both of their cheeks ached from smiling so much, shiny with the remnants of happy tears.
“i think this is the perfect start to our memories here,” stede whispered, kissing ed soundly before clutching the sweater close to his chest. “i swear, i’m not gonna take this off the rest of the time we’re up here.”
“let’s get you into a bath first,” ed chuckled, nudging stede in the ribs. “don’t want you to turn into a popsicle before you can enjoy your sweater, love.”
“of course not, love.”