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Snow coats the streets of Baldur’s Gate as city goers pass through the cobblestone streets. Various shopkeepers and vendors tend to the snowy exteriors of their shop, brushing off powdery white snow from their shop signs so they are once again visible. Several taverns are completely full of patrons as well, including Shadowheart and Sabrina, who were lucky to find a lone table for two in the back of Elfsong Tavern. Their shopping baskets and bags at their feet, Shadowheart and her lover enjoy their moment of respite after hours of shopping in the bustling snowy streets.
“It’s much busier than last year,” Shadowheart comments. “One would think all of this snow would keep people inside.”
Sabrina nods. “The vendors love it though,” she says. “I haven’t seen the Winter season this lively since the first Yule after the Netherbrain’s defeat.”
With the mention of their famous adventure, Shadowheart begins to notice various eyes upon them. Nothing that would garner suspicion, of course. The tavern’s other patrons were clearly starstruck at the sight of two of the adventurers that had defeated the cult of the Absolute over five years ago.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,” Shadowheart says, twirling her glass of wine. “The looks.”
Unlike some of their other companions, Shadowheart has never particularly been fond of the hero-worship. It is mainly due to the fact that she is still discovering who she is, what Viconia had taken from her, even after five years. How could people worship the idea of her when Shadowheart herself couldn’t even decipher who she is as a person?
A major factor contributing to her identity crisis is her mother’s slow mental decline. While Arnell Hallowleaf hasn’t had a slip of the tongue and called her Jenevelle in over two years, the same can’t be said for Emmeline. She knows it’s not her fault, her mother often refers to Sabrina as Jenevelle as well, but she cannot help but feel a bit hurt every time she says it. Not only for getting her name wrong, but sometimes forgetting that Shadowheart has reunited with them and that she is still held captive by Sharrans. It was frightening the first time it happened, but at least they have a protocol now, instructed by healers in the city.
“It will pass,” Sabrina insists. “Several years from now there’ll be a new ragtag group of adventurers the public will fawn over, leaving us to live our lives in peace.”
Sabrina’s reassurance unfortunately magnified Shadowheart’s inner turmoil even further, due to her wording. Her mother’s physical age compared to her father’s symbolized a harsh reminder of her own relationship with Sabrina. While the blonde is only a little over thirty and Shadowheart in her mid-fifties, nothing would make Sabrina any less human. Or well…nothing ethical at least, Shadowheart recalling how Aylin’s immortality has been sought after by many who would disrespect the aasimar’s autonomy as a person.
While she’s usually skilled in masking her own emotions, Sabrina knows Shadowheart to her core, the slightest change in her facial expression causing alarm bells to ring inside the sorcerer’s mind.
“Is everything alright?” Sabrina asks her, brows furrowing slightly with worry.
Shadowheart has become better when it comes to opening up, Sabrina always being her go-to person to share her woeful thoughts and feelings with. But she doesn’t wish to discuss this particular issue in public.
Taking a long swig and finishing her wine, Shadowheart simply sighs. “I’m just tired,” she says. A half truth. It has been a long day. “Could we get going soon?”
Sabrina nods, not needing the tadpole inside her brain anymore to notice the hidden meaning behind her lover’s words. Not here.
The blonde grabs her pint of ale, taking one last sip before reaching into her pocket and placing several gold coins in the center of the table. She picks up the shopping bags at her feet, as does Shadowheart, the two Baldurians walking out of the tavern hand-in-hand.
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Once the gifts were put away and the pets were fed, Shadowheart snuggles into Sabrina’s side, the two women dressed into their nightclothes, a fire lit in the hearth nearby.
Sabrina rests her forehead against Shadowheart’s, murmuring into her ear. “What’s going through that head of yours, love?” she asks. “I can tell something has been bothering you since the tavern. Something more than just our little fan club.”
“It’s nothing,” Shadowheart brushes off, a defense mechanism of sorts. “I was just thinking about my mother. And well, you.”
Sabrina plants a kiss on Shadowheart’s temple. “The fact that we’re both human?”
Not expecting Sabrina to guess what has been troubling her so quickly, Shadowheart turns her head away from the blonde and averts her gaze. As she closes her eyes to try and prevent her growing overwhelm from spreading, Sabrina wraps her arm around Shadowheart’s torso, kissing her cheek in the process.
“Hey,” she soothes. “Baby, it’s alright. Come here.”
Shadowheart holds back a sob, but once she turns to face Sabrina, letting the blonde hold her, she completely falls apart.
“My mother seems to be fading away ever so slowly,” Shadowheart admits. “I don’t want to lose her, but I will be alright. I-I don’t know if I’ll ever be alright without you.”
Shadowheart pulls back from the embrace, instead resting her forehead against her lover’s once more. Sabrina clasps her hand with Shadowheart’s kissing their entwined fingers softly.
“You will,” she states. “Throughout our lifespans, whether it be a human one, elven, or half-elven, certain people will touch our hearts. They will come and go, sometimes only briefly. Other times, they’ll stay for much longer. I’ve told you about the woman who raised me, right?”
Shadowheart nods. “The woman whose appearance the Emperor took on,” she says in between her tears.
“She died when I was nineteen,” Sabrina says. “At the time I didn’t know if I was going to be alright without her, that I would love no other person as much as I loved her. Little did I know I would meet a not quite Sharran on an Ithilid ship and fall head over heels in love with her. I know parental love is not the same as romantic love, but life goes on. So, so many people are going to love you, Shadowheart. And we’ll never be apart according to your moon-goddess, remember? So when the time comes, you’ll join me on the other side.”
Sabrina’s words cause Shadowheart to break all over again. She sobs into the blonde’s shoulder, Sabrina whispering sweet nothings into the half-elf’s ears soothingly. Slowly, sobs turn into light sniffles and hiccups, Shadowheart eventually resting her head in the crook of Sabrina’s neck.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fall in love after you,” Shadowheart says calmly.
“That’s perfectly alright,” Sabrina says, caressing the raven haired woman’s cheek.
“No matter how painful it will be,” she says. “No matter how lonely I might become, I will wait for you.”
“Just know,” Sabrina says, closing her eyes with a yawn. “You may feel lonely without me, but you’ll never be alone.”
“I know.”
As the fire settles down, Shadowheart and Sabrina both settle into sleep comfortably. At some point in the night, Shadowheart awakens, the moonlight illuminating through their curtains. Thoughts of their day replay in Shadowheart’s mind, but this time her thoughts were wholesome. She remembers the chew toys her and Sabrina had bought Scratch and the new puppy, the sweater she purchased for her mother, the snow fight her and Sabrina had gotten into by Sorcerous Sundries, and the exciting feelings of anticipation for their holiday party tomorrow evening.
With a content smile, Shadowheart lightly shakes Sabrina awake. “Hey, Bree.”
Sabrina stirs. “Mhmm?”
“Happy Yule.”