Work Text:
Spring is blossoming on the Hallowleaf farm. It is mid-April, grass blades wet from condensation as the sun rises, an ordinary day for Shadowheart. She rises from her bed, gives Sabrina a morning kiss, and feeds their dogs, Scratch and Shredder. Sabrina’s cooking breakfast, fresh eggs from their chicken coop with fruit on the side, when there is a knock on their door.
Scratch and Shredder begin to bark loudly, startling Shadowheart.
“It’s not even eight in the morning,” she says to Sabrina. “We aren’t expecting anyone, are we?”
Sabrina freezes. “It could be…”
The blonde doesn’t dare finish the sentence. This past year, Emmeline Hallowleaf had begun to decline rapidly. Shadowheart surprisingly could handle her mother’s previous declining state of believing she was still held captive by Sharrans. She could get through to her with empathy, having experienced her own very vivid nightmares of her time in the cloister still. Once she had begun to call her Jenevelle almost daily, however, Shadowheart struggled to get through the day. Somedays, Jenevelle didn’t even exist.
But on rare, good days, her mother was back. She was Shadowheart once again. More commonly, Emmeline would remember the present in short spans of time, usually from around one to ten minutes.
These past few weeks, she ate very little. While Shadowheart knew she might pass away within the coming weeks, Emmeline would survive one day, and then another. Days would go by, which would turn into weeks, until finally Shadowheart irrationally hoped she might get better.
She doesn’t realize she’s been in a trance, staring past Sabrina for a few moments now. The dogs run to the front door, continuing their barking, and her lover follows them.
Shadowheart hears her father’s voice, then Sabrina’s, calling for her aid. Her legs move herself to the foyer, though she feels her soul is trapped inside another plane of existence.
Arnell is distraught, face reddened.
“What’s happened?” Shadowheart manages to croak out.
“Your mother fell,” he says. “I believe she broke some bones.”
As his words hit her ears, Shadowheart’s daze vanishes, and is replaced with an intense concentrated trance. She walks past them, heading for the door.
“Where is she?” Shadowheart asks.
Arnell and Sabrina follow her. “In our bed,” he answers.
She doesn’t know if it’s her lingering guilt of the torture she put her mother through due to her wiped memories, or if it’s just an innate part of being a daughter, but Shadowheart feels a sense of duty to help her mother. It hurts her heart knowing that Emmeline is in pain.
No amount of healing spells will cure her ailments, but at least she will be comfortable.
Nothing could prepare Shadowheart seeing her mother in such a fragile state. This isn’t the same woman from her memories, the one she had gotten to know for these past seven years.
She’s still weak after the healing spells were administered, but at least she is more alert, able to notice her surroundings.
“Jenevelle,” Emmeline whispers, reaching out for her daughter.
She ignores the mistake, fighting back tears as Arnell fetches a chair for her to sit in.
“Hi mum,” Shadowheart says, holding her mother’s hand while she sits in the chair next to Emmeline’s bedside.
“Hi baby,” her mother says, tiredly. “You look beautiful.”
She chokes back a sob, bringing her mother’s aged hand to her lips, kissing it.
Sabrina gently places her hands on Shadowheart’s shoulders. “Do you want to be alone?” she asks the cleric.
Shadowheart turns her head towards her lover. “I-I don’t know. I don’t think I’m the right person to be answering that,” she says before turning back around. “Mum, is it alright if all of us are in here? Or would you like to rest?”
Emmeline processes the question for a moment. “I-I would like to speak to Jenevelle for a moment alone. Just a moment, dear.”
Both Sabrina and Arnell nod, the latter giving his wife a kiss in the middle of her forehead before leaving the room.
As the door shuts, Emmeline coughs, voice raspy when she speaks.
“Jenevelle- I,” she says, weakly coughing between words. “I need you to…”
Shadowheart scoots her chair as close as possible to her mother’s bedside.
“What do you need me to do?” she asks. “Do you need more pillows? Healing magic?”
Emmeline subtly shakes her head, laughs a little and then coughs.
“No, my darling,” she says. “That girl. I know you love her. Like I loved…marry her. That’s what you need to-”
Her mother is interrupted by a coughing fit, her eyes close and her breathing is weak.
“Mum?” Shadowheart whispers a sob. Her voice becomes a little louder. “Mum!”
“Arnell…Shadowheart,” Emmeline says in a low, hoarse voice. “I love you. So…”
Emmeline becomes quiet, lips closing, her body still as Shadowheart rises from her chair, shouting for her father and Sabrina. They burst into the room, Arnell immediately hovering over his wife, Shadowheart collapsing into her lover’s arms, sobbing.
——————————————————————————————————————————
She’s unable to sleep that night, her mind racing. Sabrina doesn’t either as a result, a factor that has Shadowheart feeling extremely guilty.
“You should get some sleep, love,” she says. “It’s not fair for you to not be able to get some rest just because I’m broken.”
Sabrina turns onto her side, caressing Shadowheart’s cheek. “Hey,” she says. “You are not broken. And for what it’s worth, for seven years she was my mother too.”
Shadowheart crumbles, falling apart once again. “I never knew it would be this hard,” she says, tears clouding her eyes while Sabrina embraces her, holding her close.
Her lover strokes her finger along the scar that runs from her upper cheekbone to her nose.
“It’s like a scar,” Sabrina explains. “At first, loss feels like a bleeding wound. Eventually though, even after a long time has passed, it stays with you. No longer bleeding, of course, but staying with you forever.”
Sabrina’s definition of loss is much different than what Shar had taught her. She feels so foolish to have ever believed in her words, understanding how loss creates vulnerable people, how Shar manipulates their feelings of grief to follow her teachings.
She won’t let herself fall, and if she does she has her father and Sabrina to catch her. Her mother’s last words echo in her mind, soothing Shadowheart’s broken heart. Somehow, despite everything that has happened, she knows she will be okay.