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Sunoo was anxious. Almost everyone could tell lately, from his controlled mannerisms to his silent demeanor toward everyone.
Jungwon was the first to notice. However you choose to see it, he was a good leader to his group. A leader who supported them through whatever struggles they may have had over the course of their careers. [Which wasn't much considering they debuted two months ago, but Jungwon knew he always wanted to be that kind of leader to his group].
None of the members knew how to handle Sunoo’s sudden complete and utter solitude. They just knew something was terribly wrong with the member of the maknae line and they needed to fix it soon.
🖤
Sunoo barely noticed the changes happening to him. He was just trying to get through one day at a time. Besides, it’s not like he needed to pay attention to himself, what mattered the most was that he was doing well in their schedules and that he didn’t mess anything up.
Sunoo had a secret he was hiding from the rest of his group as well, which explained why he didn’t let his newfound mannerisms invade any space in his mind. Ever since they debuted, their manager had been very critical of everything Sunoo was doing, whether that was singing, dancing, practicing, or even eating. Whenever Sunoo was around him he was immediately critical of what the young boy was doing. Sunoo tried to confront their manager about it, but the older man conveyed that he just wanted Sunoo to do the best he could for his debut so he could maximize the use of his talent. So, what did Sunoo do then? Of course he accepted it with no fanfare, even apologizing to their manager for doubting him.
But now it seemed a lot more physical than before. It started when Enhypen were doing their promotions for 10 Months and the boys were beyond exhausted, mentally and physically. They were barely getting enough sleep each night between promotions and preparations for their next comeback, only a short six months away . In between his sleep-deprived state and his overall satisfaction with the routine, Sunoo made the tiniest mistake he could ever make. He reached the wrong arm out in the choreo during the second verse. It was nothing really, he immediately caught it and kept smiling through the mistake, secretly hoping no one would notice. Luckily it seemed no one noticed, as they all kept cheering and the fans kept on cheering.
Once their performance was over, they all headed back to their dressing room to rest for a little bit before they went back home. They all walked backstage as they waved to the fans, easy smiles on all of their faces. Sunoo was the last member backstage, content with interacting with their fans as much as he could to replenish his energy. As soon as he stepped backstage, their manager immediately stood in front of the member of the maknae line, arms crossed and serious expression on his face.
“Sunoo-ssi? May I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yes, manager-hyung.”
They both walked over to the opposite side of the backstage where almost no one was. Then, their manager slapped Sunoo across the face without any warning. Sunoo silently clutched his now burning cheek, eyes wide with confusion.
“Don’t think I didn’t see that mistake you made on stage. What do you think the fans think of you? If you can't even go through one dance without making a mistake they’ll assume you don’t even want to be here. Do you understand? You need to just…be better.”
Now that stung. It’s not like he made the mistake on purpose, it was an accident. Plus, he was trying to be better. He was just so exhausted from their grueling schedule at this point. But, he gritted his teeth and silently dealt with it (so as not to look disrespectful to the older staff in the company). Sunoo was just tired.
“I’m sorry, manager-hyung. I’ll do better next time.”
His manager huffed before crossing his arms once more. He then walked away and back to their dressing room to gather the others as the stylists were packing up.
It only got worse from that day on. First it was slaps across the face; then it evolved into punches and kicks. Sunoo thought of giving up a few times. Of leaving and never seeing his band mates again; while also giving up his one chance at fame. But he couldn’t, not after how far he came. He battled tooth and nail to get where he was today, and he sure as hell would not give all of that up because his manager was hurting him a couple of times each week.
He got used to it soon enough. Sure, he was quieter than normal outside of their schedules and he was almost on constant alert if he was near anyone else, but who cared really? Sunoo was still alive and breathing.
Jungwon picked it up quickly, but the others got weirded out when Sunoo basically ignored their initiations of skinship. He would always be the one to initiate skinship with them, even when they were trainees and the cameras were turned off for I-Land.
🖤
It only got worse with time. Enhypen were in the peak of their comeback season now, six months after their debut and promoting Drunk-Dazed. It was quite obvious they were getting into the swing of the idol life. Even Sunoo was doing well on his own terms.
That was true for the first week of promotions.
Then their manager started fully assaulting Sunoo after their schedules. Imagine what you will, and their manager probably did it. Scratching. Kicking. Punching. Throwing things. Sunoo was surprised he was never somehow bleeding by the end of their assaults.
Sunoo became more anxious in and out of their schedules. The others became extremely worried about the young boy. They hated how he would flinch if any one of them went to touch him. They really didn’t know how to help though; they just stood and let it happen, hoping the problem would resolve itself.
The first ‘flinching incident’ happened mere months after their debut, yet after all of this time the group never got used to it. It was Jay it first happened to. They were in the middle of their promotions for Ten Months and Jay desperately wanted cuddles from their resident cuddle bug. He stretched out his arms towards Sunoo, the younger boy immediately flinching back with wide eyes when Jay came closer to him.
Sunoo jumped back, clutching his arms over his chest protectively. He looked at Jay with wide eyes, taking in the worried expression on his face.
“S––Sorry, Jay-hyung. I guess I’m kind of nervous. We can cuddle once the day is over, okay?”
Sunoo held his hand with an encouraging smile, Jay nodding silently in response with a small smile on his face.
💙
It all came to a head one month after their promotions for Drunk-Dazed started. The boys finally decided to hold an intervention directed towards Sunoo; his self-isolating tendencies confusing them greatly. They planned on holding it once they got back to their dorm, after their dance practice for the night was over.
That’s what they were all planning at least. That plan got put on hold when they saw Sunoo and their manager on the floor of their practice room; their manager holding a fist in the air over Sunoo as the young boy laid on the ground. Sunoo tilted his head to the side, eyes wide with evident tear streaks down his face. He had a cut lip and his cheeks were swollen from the obvious beating he had endured. Their manager looked at them with wide eyes, his grip on Sunoo’s shirt lessening as he stood up.
Ah. It finally clicked in Jungwon’s mind. This was one of those ‘kpop horror stories’ you heard when you were training about a staff member abusing someone and hoping nothing like that would happen to you, or frankly you never had to come across someone like that in your career. But, here they all were, clearly coming across one such example. Jungwon felt sick to his stomach for not noticing it sooner. This person had been with them since debut, how could they not have noticed Sunoo’s clear distress near him when they had known Sunoo longer than anyone else on their staff?
They should’ve known something like this was happening to Sunoo. Every time he came back with a cut or bruise after a specific schedule they should’ve questioned him more. Instead of just believing his excuses of I tripped or I was just being clumsy, I’m okay, guys, really. It made them all sick to their stomach.
“Guys––this is––it’s not what you think, I swear. I––”
Niki immediately reacted as their manager started talking, silently walking over to him before punching the older man square in the jaw. He grabbed the collar of the man’s shirt as he clenched his teeth, eyes twitching in anger.
“If you ever touch Sunoo-hyung again, don’t expect just a punch from me.” His voice was hard, Sunoo’s eyes widened even further. When did Niki grow up so much that he could punch someone without another thought?
Jungwon walked towards Sunoo, kneeling as he put both of his hands on Sunoo’s cheeks. Sunoo took in the worried expression on his face, tears in Jungwon’s eyes making his heart twist in pain.
“Are you okay, Sunoo-hyung?”
Sunoo silently looked at Jungwon for a minute, tears increasing in his eyes. He saw the extreme worry conveyed in Jungwon’s eyes, how much pain his expression held. That’s when he broke. Tears fell from Sunoo’s eyes as he closed them, wrapping his arms around Jungwon’s smaller frame. He wailed loudly in the younger’s arms, like a young child who hurt his knee and wanted his mommy. They stayed like that for a minute or two, before Sunoo ultimately dried his tears and looked at them with the smallest smile he could muster.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I was…scared. He made me think it was to get better.”
Sunoo clenched his fist as he looked at his lap, a regretful expression on his face.
Everyone stood around silently, awkward expressions on their faces. They all knew they should’ve paid more attention to prevent something like this from happening. They knew too well this wasn’t Sunoo’s fault at all; they just didn’t want to admit their own shortcomings.
“No, Sunoo-hyung, it’s our fault. We should have realized something was wrong. We’re sorry.”
Jungwon shook his head as he spoke, taking full responsibility for their shortcomings as the leader of the group. He went to hug the boy, stretching his arms out to comfort his Sunoo-hyung. The older flinched back, eyes wide with tears still in them. Jungwon stood there for a moment, before letting his arms down silently.
“S––Sorry. To be honest, I––I still get scared if someone tries to touch me. I––I think it’s better if we just…um…”
“It’s okay, Sunoo-hyung. We’ll give you all of the space you need.” Jungwon spoke, an understanding smile on his face.
🩵
Their manager was immediately fired by the company after that. And apprehended for physically abusing a minor. He was set to serve jail for the next ten years of his life. The group rejoiced greatly at that fact.
Sunoo didn’t exactly get better after their manager was apprehended. Of course, he didn’t get worse either, but he knew something was still wrong with him; especially with his PTSD when someone went to touch him in any way.
After a while of these PTSD episodes, the option of therapy made itself evident to Sunoo. He thought about it for a long time. It was probably the hardest decision he had to make in his life. Eventually, he agreed though. He wanted to start healing from this. He wanted to move forward with his best friends by his side.
The therapy proved very useful to Sunoo. He only went through a couple of weeks from it, but he learned how to prevent the stress from becoming something uncontrollable. He felt he could use the techniques he learned in therapy for the rest of his life. He was getting better. A lot better, to the point where he was happier than when he first debuted. He finally felt like he was in a better place than those grueling months in between their debut and preparations for their second EP. Sunoo was living his life with his best friends by his side and truly satisfied.
Fin