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Sunoo was so excited. Here they were, their first show in America for their world tour, tensions high and energy even higher. They had practiced endlessly for this moment, and they were all ready for it.
Everything was going so well. The soundcheck went well and their practice was as successful as it could be. So how did Sunoo end up in this situation? His leg was burning, the persistent pain nagging at Sunoo.
💙
Sunoo was so tired. They were so close to finishing the last set of their first concert in Anaheim and they were so ready to end it and successfully finish their first concert of their tour. Then, of course, it all came crashing down in one moment for Sunoo. They were performing the last verse of Paradoxx Invasion when it happened. Sunoo felt a click near his left knee, causing him to immediately lose strength in it and causing the wave of his body to be forced and awkward. Sunoo pushed down the need to cry out, eyes slightly tearing as he continued to dance to the music. Before he knew it, the music stopped and they were all in their finishing positions. Then, the members started introducing the last song of the night. Sunoo frankly doesn’t remember how he got through Shout Out, all he remembered was the burning pain spreading through his leg and waving to the fans with as best a smile as he could muster. He felt really shitty though.
After Shout Out, the others started their ending ments, somewhat bittersweet expressions on their faces as they didn’t want to part from their fans. Sunoo was the last ending ment of the night, but frankly, he couldn’t think of anything besides the throbbing pain in his leg. He felt this close to keeling down and passing out from the pain shooting through his leg. But, he powered through it, smiling and standing like nothing was wrong. Finally, the chance came for him to recite his ending ment.
He looked at the fans as he lifted up his microphone, breathing in to speak. No such words came out of his mouth. He looked at his bandmates with a concerned expression, everyone looking at him with smiles on their tired faces. He looked back at the audience silently. Then, he broke. Tears immediately fell from his eyes, Sunoo turning away from the audience as he brought his hand over his face to cover his eyes. They must be so disappointed. They came all the way to see him and he just had to mess up on their first concert date.
“Aw, why?”
“Aww, Sunoo…”
His members spoke in English, immediately surrounding him with small smiles on their faces.
Sunoo continued to cry, mouth trembling and eyes still closed. He faintly heard the fans start cheering We love you! behind him. He composed himself, fully drying his eyes of tears and turning back to the audience with a somewhat serious expression on his face. He continued to say his ending ment in English shakily, voice slightly cracking and eyes still red as the pain in his leg increased. Once he finished, he hobbled off of the stage behind the others, looking down to his leg with a bitter expression on his face. Niki looked at him with a worried expression, eyes falling to his left leg as the older man clutched it achingly. He tried applying pressure to it as he walked down the stairs, causing him to hunch over in more pain. He managed to get down the stairs before stopping in place, face scrunched in pain and gnawing feeling shooting through his leg. He looked at his manager standing in front of him, eyes silently tearing up through the haze of pain clouding his mind. Their manager carried Sunoo to the room where most of them rested before and after their shows and laid him down on a couch, hoisting his leg up under some loose books and other materials from the room while cutting open the tight leather pants wrapped around his left leg. The pressure from the pants made his tensed up leg relax ever so slightly, shaking as he sighed heavily. He faintly noticed how another staff member led his members to another room, each of them holding worried expressions on all of their faces.
His thoughts were running rampant. Of course he had to screw up their first concert in America. He was sure the others were disappointed in him. And what would Engene think of him? Crying just because his leg hurt a little? What kind of idol does that? He was just pathetic really. He saw it in their staff’s pitying expressions towards him. He saw it in the way his manager’s eyebrows furrowed together seriously when Sunoo winced in pain because he pressed down gently on Sunoo’s left thigh.
“Let me know if the pain worsens at all, okay Sunoo-yah?”
His whole body felt worse for wear right now, but he chose to emit that fact and instead nod silently. The makeup noonas came up to him with pitiful expressions, causing Sunoo to only curl into himself more. They started wiping off his face makeup as another one of their staff wrapped a cooling towel around Sunoo’s leg, causing him to sigh out in relief.
“It looks like you hurt the muscle. We’ll stay here for a little bit and then go back to the hotel for the night. We’ll make an appointment first thing for tomorrow morning and figure it out from there. Sounds good?”
Their manager spoke with the gentlest tone he could, trying to show Sunoo an understanding smile. It only twisted Sunoo’s heart even more. His mouth trembled as he nodded silently, tears welling up in his eyes. He hummed, trying not to let his emotions show too much as he looked away. His manager took in the boy’s trembling expression, heart clenching in response.
“You did really well today, Sunoo-yah. I’m proud of you.”
Sunoo stayed silent, nodding shakily without looking at the older man. Their manager nodded solemnly.
“Okay. I’ll go and tell your members about the situation, just wait here for a minute.”
There it was. Sunoo didn’t know if he was ready to confront his members yet. What would they say? Would Jungwon scold him for injuring himself? Would they think he was dragging him down? Would they glare at him and never forgive him for ruining their first concert? Sunoo knew one thing: he wasn’t ready for this moment. He curled into himself and looked to his lap, eyes trained on his now shaking fists.
Sunoo swallowed thickly. At least there weren’t any cameras around; he didn’t know if he had it in him to mask his true feelings. He was sure the millions of Engenes recording it with their phone caught it though; his mistake that ruined the whole performance for everyone. They would upload it and his mistake would forever be ingrained in the memory and depths of the internet. Sunoo wanted to cry again.
He heard the door click open, causing him to flinch as his fists tightened on his lap. He felt his eyes swell with tears again, he was so tired at this point. He didn’t look up until he was certain he pushed his tears back as far as they could go. Then, he locked eyes with his Heeseung-hyung and immediately felt sick. He always had such high expectations for Sunoo since he was so good at dancing during I-Land.
Heeseung situated himself on the arm of the couch and rubbed Sunoo’s shoulder softly.
“It’s okay.”
The older of the two immediately comforted him, even though Sunoo felt like everything wasn’t okay at all. It was far from okay actually. But, it served to lessen his anxiety, even if it was only a little bit. His hyung wasn’t mad at him. At least, not through the tone conveyed through his voice. His tone sounded sincere, like he was truly trying to cheer Sunoo up.
“People get injured sometimes,”
Heeseung patted Sunoo’s hair softly, and it took everything in Sunoo to not collapse against his hyung’s chest and sob openly into it.
“You did a great job regardless,”
Heeseung continued, causing Sunoo’s heart to clench under his chest. Heeseung looked at Sunoo’s leg wrapped under the cold towel, reaching out to rub it with his hand.
“Aigoo…so it’s the muscle?”
Sunoo gathered his courage to speak softly.
“They think so. I just…wanted to keep performing. No matter the pain.”
He slightly pouted as he spoke, eyes still trained on his fists in his lap.
“Mmm. You’re a pro, for sure.”
Sunoo’s head dipped further into his chest and it took everything in him not to sob loudly.
What Sunoo was confused about was how his hyung truly didn’t sound angry. He sounded genuinely affectionately, in a way that conveyed no pity at all. He truly was not angry with Sunoo at all.
“I’m proud of you, Sunoo-yah.”
Heeseung’s hand stroked Sunoo’s shoulder softly.
And that was when Sunoo fell apart.
The words he spoke were so simple yet so powerful to Sunoo. He tried to push his sobs to the back of his throat. Before he knew it, the tears were falling from his eyes once again.
He curled into his Heeseung-hyung’s arm as his gasping sobs choked him. The lump in his throat pressed against his sobs so well he thought it would swallow him whole.
“Hey, Sunny,” Heeseung cooed lightly, lifting Sunoo’s face from his shoulder to expose a flushed, teary expression.
“There’s the sunshine I know. Do you want me to call in the rest?”
Immediately Sunoo shook his head and tried to hide in his Heeseung-hyung’s shoulder again. No way was he going to let someone else see this moment between the two. Plus, if it was any of the others he would probably get teased about it endlessly.
Heeseung cooed once more, nodding his head in response and moving closer to hug Sunoo once more. They stayed there for a moment, Sunoo’s sobs filling the room as they would not let up. Heeseung continued to stroke his back with a smile on his face as the younger sobbed.
Sunoo wasn’t sure how long he cried into his hyung’s arms. By the time he had finished though, Heeseung was holding him tightly and rocking the younger back and forth on the couch.
“H––Hyung. I’m––I’m so sorry.”
Sunoo whimpered in Heeseung’s arms, automatically causing the older to wrap his arms tighter around Sunoo’s smaller frame.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Sunoo-yah. No one could ever be upset or angry with you over something like this, I promise you, baby. You did so well, that’s what matters the most.”
Heeseung immediately affirmed Sunoo and whatever he could be thinking. Sunoo hiccuped as his tears lessened, finding the composure he needed to push himself off of Heeseung’s hold.
“You handled one of the worst situations we could experience with such professionalism. No one can be upset with you. I’m…I’m so proud of how you handled it, baby. You kept dancing so well I had no idea you even hurt yourself.”
The younger breathed, taking in the information silently.
“I’m so proud of you, Sunoo. This was out of your control, you never could’ve expected something like this to happen. I’d never, ever be upset with you for this kind of thing.”
The door slowly clicked open, and Sunoo slightly moved his head from his Heeseung-hyung’s chest, one teary eye obvious from their position.
“Oh, Sunoo-hyung,” Jungwon walked closer, full worried leader mode on display. “Did you cry?”
Of course he did, but he would never admit that to Jungwon even if it killed him. Sunoo buried his head back into Heeseung’s chest, still not sure if he was ready to look at the others. Heeseung understood immediately, smiling silently as he patted Sunoo’s hair.
“He’s okay. He’s just tired, right, Sunny?”
Sunoo nodded silently against Heeseung’s chest in response.
“Oh. Should we…leave then?”
Sunghoon spoke somewhat awkwardly, secretly hoping Sunoo would disagree.
Sunoo flinched against his Heeseung-hyung’s chest. He thought he wasn’t ready to face them, but he didn’t want them to leave. Sunoo unwrapped his arms from Heeseung, face turning towards the five other boys standing in front of him. He took in their shy expressions as some of them fiddled with their fingers. He smiled silently. They cared about him so much.
He shook his head, looking at them all shyly. Jungwon bent down to their level, a small smile on his face. The others walked closer to the couch but stayed standing.
“You okay?”
Sunoo smiled, eyes still red but smile genuine. He looked down to his wrapped leg as his smile lessened ever so slightly. He nodded acceptingly, eyes closing.
“I will be,”
And that was the most sure statement he had uttered that night.
Fin