Chapter Text
Jaehyun had been stuck in traffic for twenty minutes, constantly looking at the time on the car's dashboard and starting drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel because of the delay.
The road was covered in a thin layer of snow that had fallen earlier, making the road slippery, forcing cars to go very slowly.
But apparently that didn't stop a certain driver.
He picked up his cell phone, it was almost half past eight at night. It was a long Friday. Almost like every other one from the past seven months. Tiring, stressful and lonely, hours wasted commuting between home and work and sometimes when he decided to socialize with people other than Johnny and then those days he decided to stop by a bar.
"I miss you." Jaehyun sent it to him every night.
"I miss you too." He responded right away.
Traffic has been released. Jaehyun turned up the music playing from his random playlist.
His heart was pounding, with each passing minute his anxiety increased.
In fact, in front of that street there was a car that crashed into a pole, police cars with their sirens on illuminating the face of that reckless driver who was trying to explain himself in a corner.
At least it didn't hit anyone.
As soon as the path ahead of him opened up, Jaehyun was able to accelerate. He was still ten minutes away from his destination and his hands started to sweat cold with fear of being late.
Jaehyun checked the arrival time several times since the day the return ticket was purchased and he prepared everything in advance. The little arrangement of red tulips carefully placed on the passenger seat, the orchid on the kitchen counter, the ingredients for dinner when they got home.
He just didn't count on delays along the way.
It's okay , Jaehyun thought, I'll still be on time.
Almost.
The airport was full and finding a parking space was almost hell. Jaehyun had to leave the car in a far away space, the only one found due to a vehicle that had just left.
He looked at the clock, ten minutes of the scheduled time had passed.
"Shit."
Jaehyun took the flowers from the passenger seat and got out of the car. The freezing wind and the carpet of snow that covered the parking lot found Jaehyun's boots. Carefully he walked between the cars avoiding slipping and ruining the flowers and even his clothes. He wore a heavy black coat over a white button-up shirt. It looked too formal, Jaehyun wanted to know what he would think when he saw it.
In the sea of people that crowded the lobby, Jaehyun found himself trapped, it looked like some celebrity was there. Many clustered behind a chain of security guards who formed a safety net preventing invasion.
It wasn't until Jaehyun looked at the arrival flight information board that he realized his vision was blurry and that his glasses had been left in the car. He sighed.
Jaehyun slipped into the stream of people passing through a gap and followed until he found someone from the airline who could give him information, as his vision was limited due to his own forgetfulness.
Right ahead, there was a woman distracted behind a computer screen. She didn't seem to care about the chaos that place was in the middle of Friday night. It was past nine.
"Goodnight. Do you have information about the flight arriving from Tokyo?” Jaehyun asked.
The woman, clearly shifting her attention to the flowers, safely tucked away in Jaehyun's arms like a baby, looked up and replied.
“Good night sir. The flight had a slight delay in boarding due to bad weather and therefore will arrive after the scheduled time.” She smiled mechanically as if she'd already gone over that information dozens of times. “Please wait.”
"Thanks." Jaehyun turned and marched to the landing site.
A few people noticed as he hurried past. Jaehyun checked the flowers, as beautiful as the moment he bought them, hard to find in the harsh Seoul winter. However, he was afraid that his restlessness with the delay would ruin them since he ended up squeezing them more than necessary and only realized later because the paper that wrapped them already had some parts crumpled; there was that detail, Jaehyun was not delicate. Sometimes he ended up dropping or even breaking things, he was never good at taking care of small and fragile things.
Jaehyun learned this the hard way.
Apparently it wasn't just him who was uneasy about that flight being delayed. Some people had been there for some time, some with signs, others expressing their displeasure with the airline, and some just waiting.
None of them imagined that Jaehyun was about to meet his husband again after seven months apart.
Seven months since Yuta left for Tokyo. Since they had their last kiss in that same airport before he left and Jaehyun was left with only his perfume impregnated on his clothes and an empty apartment full of Yuta everywhere.
After returning from the trip where so much has changed between them, and the marriage has been re-signified because of everything they've lived through, the two sat down and really talked about their feelings.
For hours, until dawn on the sofa in the living room, where Yuta ended up falling asleep and consequently pulling Jaehyun to do the same since his grip on his body was so strong that it was impossible to get out.
Jaehyun didn't even try, as the sound of Yuta's breathing so close, the scent that intoxicated his mind, was enough.
When they woke up, Yuta looked sad, Jaehyun clearly remembers because he didn't seem to know how to approach the subject.
Until after a coffee he finally told that he had been accepted to a Course at the Arts Center at the University of Tokyo.
“This is wonderful, my love.” Jaehyun hugged him and left a quick kiss on the lips tasting the coffee.
But he gave a wry smile.
“It’s just… it will be seven months.” Yuta said, as he looked at the cup in his hands. His big eyes showed a certain sadness.
“Oh…” Jaehyun didn't quite know how to react to that information.
“I should have told you sooner, and-”
“No, no, Yuta, don't worry, I understand, it's okay.”
"Jae-"
"My love, you've always wanted to go and no matter what, I'm not going to stop you." Jaehyun remembered the words, that day when they were in the garden, when Yuta said that he planned to go back to Japan. A shiver ran through his body.
Yuta must have noticed, he placed the cup on the table and approached Jaehyun, looking him in the eyes before saying, “Thank you.”
Jaehyun remembers going through mixed emotions at that moment, but he felt like the two were finding each other again and he didn't want to spoil that. He hurt Yuta and it took him a long time to recognize that. Supporting him at that moment was the least he could do.
He missed Yuta all these months. There wasn't a single day where Jaehyun came home and not having him sitting on the living room floor with lots of books and papers on the coffee table didn't make his heart ache.
"Pretty flowers." Jaehyun was so lost in thought that he didn't notice when a woman wearing a very red lipstick stopped beside him. "I assume it's for someone special." She continued, the too-sweet scent bothering him.
Jaehyun looked at the flowers, snuggled in his arms and replied to the woman “yes, they are.”
Small talk was never something that pleased Jaehyun, even more so with someone who approached him every second in a place where there was clearly enough space for her not to have to flood Jaehyun's nose with that perfume.
“I've been here for almost an hour and this flight still hasn't arrived, this time is horrible for travel.” The woman commented.
"Yes." Jaehyun just replied.
"My sister is coming from Tokyo, she asked me to pick her up here, but it's taking too long." She looked at the time on the watch on her wrist. “Are these for your wife?” She asked again, pointing to the flowers and clearly seeing the ring on Jaehyun's finger.
"No." He smiled, turning to the woman for the first time since she arrived, "they're for my husband."
“Oh-oh, okay.” She cleared her throat and fell silent.
The woman fell silent after that and turned her attention to the phone, forgetting Jaehyun was there, and he was internally grateful that he didn't have to deal with comments about the delay in the plane's arrival.
It wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last, that inconvenient people assumed he was married to a woman, but Jaehyun always made a point of emphasizing the word "husband".
It was clear that he was nervous and an inconvenient person was what he needed least at the moment.
His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and Jaehyun picked it up. The message on the screen made his heart pound with joy and an involuntary smile appeared on his face.
Baby Yu
we've just landed
Jaehyun tried to straighten up and not look too nervous. He wiped the sweat from his hands on his black pants, ran his hand through his hair and cursed himself internally for forgetting his glasses in the car.
He wanted to see Yuta soon. Would that be strange? They had never spent so much time apart since they started dating five years ago.
What if Yuta didn't like the flowers? What if he'd given up on orchids and wanted something else? Was he too hasty?
Jaehyun's mind was flooded with doubts and problems that only existed in his head, because clearly, when that gate opened and a sea of people started pouring out of it, and Jaehyun stood on tiptoe looking for his husband's face, none of it made sense.
His face opened into a smile that Jaehyun couldn't contain, it was the smile he had been holding back for the last seven months and it would only show itself that day. And it was magical. When he saw his husband, he noticed that his hair had grown down to his shoulders, curved at the ends and shaped his face in a way that made Jaehyun's heart melt.
He looked so beautiful.
He still hadn't seen his husband and Jaehyun started waving his hand in the air until he was noticed and Yuta opened a smile so big that Jaehyun could have sworn it was glowing.
Yuta started running towards him, pulling his suitcase behind him and his hair flying, he tripped over a few people and apologized. Jaehyun only had eyes for him, the baggy, torn pants, the black T-shirt and the jacket that only Yuta could wear. As he got closer, Jaehyun saw the necklace with the blue stones that he had given Yuta as a present.
Jaehyun ran up to him and the two met halfway. Jaehyun just opened his arms in time to get the flowers out of the way before Yuta threw himself into his arms and the two intertwined in a long squeeze. Yuta's perfume invaded Jaehyun's mind and for those few minutes, only the two of them existed.
"You always forget your glasses." Yuta said, as he broke away from him for a few seconds, enough for Jaehyun to bring their lips together in a lingering kiss, and when he pulled away, Yuta had a look of surprise mixed with joy and so many things that could fit in those eyes.
The two were locked in a tight embrace for a good few minutes until Yuta let go of his husband's arms with watery eyes and whispered like a secret that only Jaehyun could hear, "I missed you".
Yuta caressed his husband's face, passing by the dimple that formed after Jaehyun heard those words that made his body warm up on that cold night, until it made his skin burn when Yuta repeated the words now looking into his eyes and letting a small tear escape when he said it again, "I missed you, Jae".
"And I've missed you so much all these months." Yuta's lower lip trembled and his voice was hoarse.
Jaehyun just wrapped him in a new hug, letting those tears of longing that had made him so emotional roll down his cheeks. It was beautiful the way Yuta expressed his feelings so openly, and just his gaze conveyed so many emotions, so many words that sometimes he couldn't say, but they were enough for Jaehyun, so that he understood even with so little said by the other, what every word of that meant to both of them.
"I love you." Jaehyun said as the two let go of each other and Yuta let that smile brighten his face. Jaehyun wiped away the tears that were still coming down and sealed their lips once more.
Nothing at that moment mattered more than Yuta in his arms. The scent he had left behind that day he said goodbye was finally there again, impregnating Jaehyun's clothes and his mind with good memories like now, the day Yuta finally came home to Jaehyun.
There, it didn't matter that they were still standing in the middle of the airport arrivals hall, while they were locked in a long embrace trying to hold on to a little bit of each other for all the time they had been apart. It didn't matter about the noise of people around, or someone who was late for their flight being called on the speake.
Jaehyun didn't even care about the people who passed by and gave him crooked, envious looks, because there, in the face of true love, he considered all those people envious, for not having someone to share as much with as he had Yuta.
"Are these for me?" Yuta asked, looking at the tulips. His voice was still weak and his eyes red, but the smile didn't leave his face and that was all that mattered to Jaehyun.
"Yes, yes." He handed them to Yuta, who took the flowers with all the delicacy of an artist and whispered a thank you before giving his husband another kiss.
"I think I'm ready to go home, we've given this audience enough of a show." Yuta said softly, letting out a laugh at the end.
"I agree."
Arriving home with Yuta after all these months seemed like a dream to Jaehyun.
Nothing compared to the loneliness he felt after being away from his husband for so long. Jaehyun reflected a lot during this time, he thought that this was how Yuta must have felt when they were apart, even though they lived in the same house, Jaehyun distanced himself from him and went on a work spree that ended up neglecting their marriage for something that gave nothing in return for both of them. If it hadn't been for that trip and those days they spent together...
Maybe everything would have been different.
But coming home with Yuta holding his hand in the car and telling him about everything he'd experienced during those months, the time he'd spent with his family, his adventures with his nephews. It was like listening to your favorite song after a long time without hearing it. Yuta's smile at every funny story he started laughing at was music to Jaehyun's ears. Seeing that smile in person after so long was like coming home on a cold day and finding comfort under the blanket.
That's exactly how Jaehyun felt.
When he opened the door to their apartment, after letting go of Yuta's hand just for that, and the two of them walked in together and Yuta's smile opened again, Jaehyun was the happiest man in the world.
"How I've missed this place." Yuta opened his arms as if to embrace the room.
"He missed you too." Jaehyun put Yuta's suitcase in the corner, they would deal with it later, and walked over to him, he hugged Yuta from behind and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Did you see?" He pointed to the orchids on the kitchen counter.
"They're beautiful." Yuta turned around. "Since when do you like orchids?"
"Since they remind me of you."
Yuta turned and gave him a long kiss.
Feeling Yuta's lips on his was like drinking water after a very hot day. That characteristic taste of the mouth that Jaehyun loved so much. They explored every corner of each other's mouths, recognizing everything they had missed during those seven months. Jaehyun felt himself falling into an endless hole, a free fall where he only felt Yuta's hands on the back of his neck pulling his hair.
"Let's take a bath with me." Yuta whispered.
"Yuta-"
"I won't take no for an answer." He squeezed the back of Jaehyun's neck.
Jaehyun would never be able to say no in that situation where his body was burning with desire for Yuta, a contrast to the freezing weather that night.
"Please." Yuta had those eyes. Those eyes when he insisted on something and his pupils dilated and he became irresistible.
Yuta filled the bathtub.
The water was hot when they both got in.
Jaehyun got in first and spread his legs so that Yuta could get in. He sat down and laid his back on Jaehyun's chest, who wrapped his arms around the other's waist and started kissing him from the shoulder to the nape of his neck, smelling Yuta's skin, leaving bites all over his skin and licking the little red marks until he heard Yuta moan softly. Yuta grabbed his hands and brought them to his mouth, where he left kisses all over it, then he released them, letting Jaehyun explore his body. The firm muscles of his belly, the piercing in his navel that he had exchanged for a black jewel, the place where Jaehyun knew the tattoos were, because he had already memorized every corner of that body.
"Jaehyun." He whispered.
"Yeah?" Jaehyun said, biting his earlobe.
"Don't stop."
Jaehyun could never.
"Why haven't you put up the Christmas tree yet?" Yuta asked, sitting down on the floor and starting to put up the Christmas tree. It was late at night, but he insisted on putting up the Christmas decorations while Jaehyun finished dinner - which Jaehyun also insisted on making.
Yuta's hair was still wet from the shower, the long strands adorning the beauty of his face as he frowned trying to figure out how to fit each part of the tree together.
"I wanted to wait for you." Jaehyun replied from the kitchen. And there was no point in putting all the decorations up in the apartment if Yuta wasn't there yet.
"I don't like the idea that you just missed me and didn't even bother to put a garland on the door, Jae." He replied, the first part of the tree ready.
"That's exactly what happened." Jaehyun said quietly, tasting the pasta sauce he was preparing.
"You're lucky I'm here in time for Christmas, imagine if I didn't come back and you had to spend Christmas with a dull house." Yuta laughed alone, but Jaehyun heard him because he was too close. He came up from behind and hugged Jaehyun around the waist.
"Please don't talk about hypothetical situations where you would never go home." Jaehyun felt chills just imagining the empty apartment again.
Yuta laughed and planted a kiss on the back of Jaehyun's neck, sending shivers throughout his body.
Jaehyun took some sauce and brought it to Yuta's mouth for him to try, and only after he let out a big hummmmm was he sure that the sauce was good.
"By the way, my mother invited us to spend Christmas at my parents' house, she kept asking when you were coming back."
"She loves me." Yuta was setting the table. He made a point of taking decorations and placing them between the plates.
"She really loves you, seriously, she called me almost every day and asked 'When is Yuta coming back?'" Jaehyun turned off the heat and brought the pot to the table, he put some pasta on each plate, making it aesthetically presentable to compete with the decorations Yuta had made on the table.
"The Jeongs have really missed me.” Yuta laughed and sat down at the table, waiting for Jaehyun.
"Would you like some wine?" he asked before sitting down; Yuta agreed.
Jaehyun took a white wine and two glasses and placed them on the table and served them. Yuta took a sip first before eating.
Jaehyun once again just listened to Yuta tell more stories about his days at university. How he was praised by the teachers and his smile instantly opened whenever he talked about it. Jaehyun could see how happy he was, Yuta's smile was ear to ear, he spoke with such enthusiasm and gestured whenever he told how he had made a certain painting. Jaehyun knew how talented Yuta was, and now that he could show it to other people and see how happy it made him, it made Jaehyun's heart fill with happiness, nothing in this world could compare to the feeling of seeing Yuta smile again, a real smile.
"I feel like we're on a date." Yuta held Jaehyun's hand over the table and took the last sip from his glass. "The only thing missing were the candles."
"Oh no, why didn't you remember before?" Jaehyun lamented.
"I only really remembered it now." He laughed.
"Wait." Jaehyun stood up and didn't give up. He searched through some boxes in the kitchen and managed to find two candles, which he made a point of lighting while Yuta laughed.
"But we've already finished eating." Yuta tossed his hair back.
"It doesn't matter." Jaehyun insisted.
Jaehyun just didn't expect him to be clumsy enough that when he turned around after lighting the candles on the table, his hand hit one of them and it ended up falling on one of the decorations that Yuta had placed on the table. Of course, a small incident started. The decoration started on fire and Yuta began to say "FIRE! FIRE!" While laughing and putting his hand over his mouth, this only made Jaehyun more desperate, because when he turned around the fire was starting to spread across the table lining and Yuta just took out the cups and ran to the sink and got some water from one of them and poured it on the small flame that continued to spread but was soon interrupted by the water that Jaehyun also poured on it.
Yuta couldn't stop laughing. In despair, Jaehyun thought his heart was going to burst out of his mouth as his husband laughed at the whole situation.
"I think we can suspend the candles for a while." Yuta said amid the laughter.
When Jaehyun remained silent and just tried to absorb the situation he had caused, Yuta noticed his husband's silence and pout. He hugged him and kissed his mouth.
"I'm sorry." Jaehyun said, hugging Yuta back.
"For what, my baby?" Yuta asked, holding back his laughter.
"For being a mess." Jaehyun had a huge pout, which made Yuta want to laugh even more.
"Oh my love." Yuta hugged him and stroked his hair while Jaehyun laid his head on Yuta's shoulder. It was a bit uncomfortable since Yuta was shorter, but feeling his affection was the best thing in the world.
"Feeling better?" Yuta asked, with a laugh.
"No, I need more." Jaehyun replied, the annoyance still present in his voice.
"Okay, can we cuddle after we clean up this mess?" Yuta asked.
Jaehyun sighed. "All right."
After cleaning up, while Jaehyun washed the pots and told Yuta about the company gossip, the two went to bed, and Yuta delivered all the cuddles he had promised earlier.
When Jaehyun woke up, Yuta was already awake watching him.
He ran his hand over Jaehyun's face, brushing away the hair that was falling over his eyes and Jaehyun smiled.
"Good morning." It was so good to wake up with Yuta by his side again, Jaehyun had waited so long for this day.
"Good morning my love." Yuta continued to caress his face.
On the days he was alone, Jaehyun would wake up every day and reach across the bed in the hope of finding Yuta sleeping next to him, but it was impossible on those days. While he was alone, Jaehyun reflected a lot on his relationship with Yuta.
In those moments of anguish and uncertainty when the two of them were in Geoje, Jaehyun felt the fear of losing Yuta at any moment. He did everything he could to try and get him back, he tried to stay away from work and the consequences would come later, but he didn't care, Yuta had become a priority.
After a few months alone, Jaehyun came to the conclusion that that time apart would be good for both of them. When Yuta left for Japan, the two of them were still in a strange place, walking on eggshells because Jaehyun mainly felt that he was holding Yuta by a very thin thread and at any moment that thread could snap. When they said goodbye, Jaehyun's heart seemed to break into a thousand pieces and seeing Yuta go for so long, he felt as if a piece of him had been taken away.
"What do you want for breakfast?" Jaehyun asked, his voice that of someone who had just woken up and his eyes closed just feeling Yuta's fingers in his hair.
Although in those days Jaehyun said it was okay for Yuta to go, a part of him screamed not to let him leave so easily because, now that they had started to reconcile, Yuta would go far away.
But Jaehyun would be selfish to only stop his husband from going of his own will to keep him close because of what his mistakes had caused in the marriage.
Now that Yuta was back, Jaehyun felt the missing piece of him fitting back together.
His little piece that hadn't yet said what it wanted for breakfast.
When Yuta didn't answer, just continued in silence, Jaehyun opened his eyes and saw that Yuta was too serious. He approached Jaehyun and hugged him.
Jaehyun felt the warmth of his body and hugged him back. There was something in Yuta's eyes before that hug. It was all the pent-up feelings that he still couldn't say. He squeezed Jaehyun tighter and left a quick kiss on his lips before pulling away and meeting his gaze again to say softly:
“I love you.”
Jaehyun felt like he was dreaming.
"I love you Jae, and I'm completely in love with you. There hasn't been a day that I haven't missed you and thought about getting on a plane and running back to our home." Yuta's eyes sparkled as each word came out of his mouth. "I just wanted to be close to you."
Jaehyun hugged him. He hugged Yuta so tightly that the other yelled for Jaehyun to let him go.
When they were in Geoje, and Jaehyun said that he loved Yuta, after so long without saying those words, Yuta didn't respond. Jaehyun knew he was hurt by everything that had happened between them, and he didn't blame him. Jaehyun would give it time and if he deserved Yuta's love again, he would profess it.
And it finally happened.
Jaehyun sat on the bed with Yuta on his lap, smiling from ear to ear and kissing Yuta's cheek.
"I love you Yuta, I love you, I love you." Jaehyun repeated it like a mantra. "How long I've waited to be able to wake up next to you and tell you how much I love you every day." Jaehyun felt like he could fly away at any moment and he would take Yuta with him.
To fly far away from everything, just the two of them while the world disappeared because at that moment, for Jaehyun, there was nothing else that mattered, just Yuta on his lap with his watery eyes and a smile capable of healing wounds.
He healed all of Jaehyun's wounds.
"And about breakfast," Yuta began. "I want you to surprise me." He gave Jaehyun a wet kiss on the cheek. "My husband."