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“I’m sorry, Ms. Hiyori, but we simply do not have enough support to treat the severity of Sou’s injury from the assassins’ trial.”
…
“If you want to ensure his survival, he’ll have to go to a civilian hospital for the next few days.”
The woman scoffed. “Can’t you find some way to make him stay? I want him under the watchful eye of the organization at all times.”
“That gash in his neck is too deep. He can recover, but he needs surgery and care that we cannot provide with our current biological technology.”
Oh, right. He remembers now. He got his throat slit.
She sighed, and through his hazy consciousness, Sou heard the clacking of his mother’s
heels approaching. “...Come along, then, Sou.”
Sou wearily opened his eyes.
“Mom…”
The woman looked down on him with a mix of disgust and impatience. Sou hazily blinked from the bright lights of the medbay above her. There was shame, but he knew he deserved it. He had failed to prove his usefulness to the organization, and to God. Wearily, he raised his right hand towards his mother, shaking with labored breaths as he did.
“I’m… sor-”
His voice- and his breathing- were cut short as his mother seized his extended wrist, jerking his body up all at once. Sou let out a blood-curdling scream. His neck felt like it was stretching like rubber, that his head was slowly snapping off without the support of the bed, that death was so close and yet so far that he didn’t know whether to beg for mercy or for her to just finish the job. More blood gushed down his body and into his clothes.
“Ms. Hiyori! Stop that!” The doctor rushed to cradle Sou’s back, slowly laying him back down on the bed, where the tearing pain sizzled back into a sting that pulsed with every breath he took. His assassin training had never prepared him for pain like this. Is that what death would feel like, no matter what?
“We’ll arrange for a stretcher to arrive and take him to the closest hospital.” The two adults looked back at Sou, who was already drifting back into a peaceful, escapist unconsciousness.
- - -
Sou sat in his hospital bed, slowly spooning applesauce into his mouth. The doctors here had done well, after days of using big words he didn’t get to describe his condition, and surgeries to restore proper air and blood flow. It all felt like it happened in a haze… From the assassin trial, to seeing his mother’s disappointment, to this. Regardless, Sou could sit up now, speak normally, and even swallow soft foods again. Even without medication, the searing pain of his neck splitting in two had resigned to a dull throb under bandages, which he could… mostly ignore.
While the doctors and nurses said he could rest for a couple more days and make a full recovery, he knew his mother would never allow that. She had just left the visiting hours after demanding the doctors let her son go home, as he was “obviously fine”. With some convincing, they had managed to buy Sou some more time in the children's wing, at least. He certainly wasn’t complaining.
He popped the tiny plastic hospital spoon out of his mouth and stared at it, holding it like a dagger. Sou thought back to the island. To his test. And his subsequent failure. Thinking of the other red-haired child, he gripped his spoon so hard it nearly cracked in two. How dare he- and that other Satou boy- think they could get the last laugh. The only thing that brought Sou any respite from the whole situation was that the brat wasn’t in a hospital, brought back from the brink of death. No, that boy certainly died in his pathetic brother’s arms.
Sou leaned back against the pillow, closed his eyes, and huffed.
Humans were so disappointing.
…
…Himself included.
Before his thoughts could get too existential, Sou was interrupted by the door of the empty hospital wing swinging open. A clique of nurses wheeled in some unfamiliar equipment while happily chatting to another child trailing in behind him.
“You did so well on your tests today, Shin!”
“It’s good to see you again… How’s school been? Is third grade hard?”
“Can I get you some water, dear?”
The blue-haired child politely smiled and shook his head.
“School’s good!” This ‘Shin’ nodded “And thank you miss, I-” He finally turned his head over to the occupied bed, seemingly in shock at the sight. They stared at each other for a heartbeat, before Sou quickly averted his gaze and went back to eating his applesauce with the half-broken spoon. Shin tugged on one of the nurses’ sleeves and pointed at Sou.
“Miss Hanako? Who’s that?” Shin whispered in awe. The nurse smiled and leaned down to the unfamiliar child’s eye level.
“It looks like you have a roommate this time, dear! That boy’s name is…” She glanced over to check Sou’s medical chart, “Sou Hiyori! He’s about your age, too.”
Shin beamed and started excitedly waving towards Sou, who didn’t know what to do in this situation. He awkwardly waved back at Shin, watching like a hawk as he hopped up into the medical bed directly across from him, as if he’d done this a million times before… The nurses methodically got to work, inserting his IVs, setting his school backpack down on the bedside table, and treating the boy like an esteemed guest.
At first glance, Shin looked like a totally regular child. But as the nurses left, (and Sou kept staring), he could start to see some indications as to why Shin would be so familiar with the hospital. His skin was sickly pale, and his arms were thin and weak. Sou noticed before that Shin walked with a slight hunch, and that he seemed to struggle for breath after exerting just a little energy getting up onto the huge bed. Despite everything, he stayed positive and kind towards the healthcare workers before they left.
“You stare a lot.”
“Oh.” Sou didn’t know how to react to this information. He looked around the room, trying to find something else to focus his eyes on. “Sorry.”
“It’s ok!” The other boy grinned, “I’m Shin Tsukimi! I’m in the third grade, and my favorite show ever is Super Defender Gundam Force.”
Silence crept over the empty hospital room, and Sou realized he was expecting a response.
“Oh! Uh- that’s cool.” Sou’s mom never let him watch TV… What should he even say in response to all that? How could he seem normal and unsuspicious to this kid?
“My name is Sou Hiyori, and I’m eight. I like…” Sou’s eyes darted around the room again as he tried to think of a hobby ‘normal kids’ would have. He spotted a poster of some happy puppies decorating the childrens’ wing.
“...Dogs.”
“Do you have a dog at home?”
“No.”
“Ohh… So you really want a dog, then?”
“Not really.”
Silence filled the room once again. Before Shin burst out into giggles. Sou tilted his head in confusion, ignoring the slight pain that came with exposing his injured neck.
“You’re funny!” Shin laughed, “Ahh… It’s just cool to have someone to talk to. I’m usually alone here, whenever the nurses get too busy. But they try their best to keep me company most of the time!”
“You come here often?” Sou had already concluded that from the way the nurses treated Shin almost like a son. Or at least… More like a son than he’d ever experienced.
“Yeah…” Shin awkwardly shifted in his bed, “I don’t really get it that well, but the doctors say I have ‘comic illness’... No wait, ‘tonic… illness’? Hmm…”
“Chronic illness?” Sou interjected.
“That’s it!” Shin chirped up, “They said it’s not a bad thing, though. I just come here every weekend for tests and my medicine. And then I go back home at the end with a lollipop.”
Sou stared at the other boy… almost in awe. He came here every week? For Sou, this hospital was like the first vacation he’d ever had in his life. If Shin wanted to be his friend, (which seemed to be the case), that’d be the first friend he’d ever have, too. ..Maybe both of them were pitiable children.
“I’ve never seen you before.” Shin interrupted a barrage of unsavory memories from Asunaro, “Did you get really hurt?”
Sou slowly nodded, unzipping his green vest a bit and pulling his turtleneck to the side to expose pads of freshly-cleaned gauze along the side of his neck, with glimpses of thick stitches visible underneath.
“Woahh… Did it hurt?”
“Mmm.. not really.” Sou scoffed, lying but wanting to see Shin’s reaction. “I think I’ll have a cool scar, though.”
“Wow..” Shin said, gazing back up at Sou’s eyes. “How’d it happen?”
Sou gulped. He knew Asunaro had given the hospital a reasonable excuse as to why an eight year old boy was rushed into the ER with a life-threatening slit throat, but he didn’t remember it anymore. He decided to be as vague as possible.
“Uh… I got it during training.”
“Training? Are you like a ninja?”
The injured boy chuckled and shrugged. “I guess.”
“...Can I see it?” Sou nodded, and Shin quickly threw his feet out of bed, one after another. Suddenly, he stopped, gripped onto the bedpost for dear life, and then…
“OOF-!” Shin collapsed onto the floor, rocking from side to side as he tried to find enough composure to crawl back up. Above him, his IV dangerously swayed too far forward, threatening to rip the tube out of his arm.
With cat-like reflexes from his years of training, Sou immediately sprung out of bed. Before Shin could blink, Sou was above him, posed with the IV high above his head as his torso protected Shin from it possibly falling on top of him. He immediately got back to work, setting it up straight and stopping it from swinging anymore.
“Woah…” Shin gasped once the vertigo stopped, “You really are a ninja…”
A smile slowly crept onto Sou’s lips, and he chuckled at the thought. Ninjas and assassins do go hand and hand, he supposed… When he first started his training, he did make the comparison as well. He thought he’d become a noble fighter, acing his trials with ease, making his mother and the organization proud… Unlike him, Shin probably still had that childlike wonder at this age.
Shin slowly got back up, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Sou as he readjusted his turtleneck again. The other boy stared, entranced, around the heavy layers of first aid applied to his neck.
“Yeah, I think the scar will be pretty cool.”
Sou’s mind wandered thinking about what he just did… In assassin training, he was taught not to bring misery onto others, just a quick, clean death that would serve the organization well. Work that would elevate him among the court of God. If he hadn’t saved Shin just then, he would’ve suffered. The nurses would’ve rushed in, causing more misery and more suffering from such a tiny mistake.
…But what good is Asunaro’s ‘quick death’, really?
Withstanding misery himself was expected, according to the organization. Poison resistance, electric shock resistance, underwater survival… He was told that the pain from all of those were what proved himself as worth living.
But he could never, ever do it to other people.
Even the ones who really deserved it? Even the ones who should prove they have worth living?
No. That would just bring attention to his kills. That would make the organization unhappy.
…But it’s boring.
Should he find fulfillment in a boring death, knowing the organization will find temporary use in it, or should he find fulfillment in other humans, taking their lives when they’re finally ready? Sou’s curiosity and his upbringing conflict within himself.
Is taking a life meaningless if there’s no evidence of a meaningful life? If there’s no evidence of emotions like fear, love, anger, hope..? All the things he had to suffer to prove existed within himself?
…
He thought back to the island. To the tears and wails he heard before blacking out. The very fact he was attacked back proved the boy had something he wanted to live for. Sou would’ve loved to dig a little deeper on that… To watch as it all faded to nothing, anyways…
He smiles.
Maybe humans weren’t disappointing. Maybe they were full of possibilities.
“Do you wanna play board games?” Shin suddenly spoke.
Sou blinked. “What are those?”
“Board games! You’ve never had family game nights or anything?” Sou shook his head, and Shin smiled. “Here, I brought some in my backpack, in case I met another kid like you. I’ll teach you the rules…”
- - -
“Sou Hiyori?”
The two boys perked up from their intense game of Battleship, and a very stressed-looking doctor came in through the door holding a clipboard.
“Oh hi Shin- Uhh…” The doctor wiped at his face with his sleeve, as if in a panic. “Sou, your mother and I just had a talk. She says you need to leave now… B-But don’t worry! She’s found an… alternative treatment for you.”
Sou groaned. …His mother always had this effect on people when she wanted her way.
“Sou’s leaving..?” Shin whined. “Already?”
“I-I’m afraid so, Shin.” The doctor replied, getting more anxious by the minute, “C’mon kid, we’ll clean your wound one last time and then get you home.”
“Noo!” Shin cried out, but Sou just hung his head and slowly stood up. He looked back down at Shin, who was practically begging with just his eyes alone. “Sou… You can’t just leave... Tell your mama no!”
Sou just kept staring at the ground. He shook his head. Shin fought off the tears in his eyes.
He found himself staring. What a reaction this was…
He wished he could’ve stayed.
“Bye-bye, Shin…” He waved bittersweetly, before leaving him alone once again.
- - -
“Oh Sou, I’m so happy you’re out of that horrible place~.” Ms. Hiyori practically sang as she and her son walked through the many floors of Asunaro’s base. They passed room after room of sparring between assassins, medical breakthroughs, and business meetings alike. A perfect, holy, insulated society that they had known all their lives.
“I mean, why go through all that drama for treatment we could easily acquire at home… The Asunaro way.”
“Right, mom.”
It was Sunday night now, and Shin would be leaving the civilian hospital again. Sou wondered what he did for the rest of the weekend… Did he feel angry, lonely, maybe even betrayed by Sou leaving? Did he really cry? He was already starting to cry when the doctor showed up… If Shin cried, that must’ve meant his presence meant a lot to him, right? Or was it the lack of any presence in that hospital room? Did Shin linger on it for the rest of the weekend, or did he accept it and return to his usual routine? Oh, how Sou wished he could’ve gone back and watched Shin… To see all his emotions playing out…
Thoughts like this were new, but they gave Sou a rush of fascination with all the ways a human could be twisted every which way, giving a wonderful new experience each time… He stared up at his mom. She knew this fact too, he was sure of it.
The Hiyoris arrived just outside of a steel door, one that Sou noted had the “soundproof” symbol above its room number. His mother patted him on the back twice, motioning him inside.
A couple of medical assistants were whispering above an empty surgery bed, a sight which Sou had gotten used to throughout his stay at the civilian hospital. Once Sou and his mother entered the room, everyone froze.
“How do you feel, son?” His mother drawled, watching for the reactions of the nurses.
“Good…” Sou replied with more certainty than he should’ve given.
“And your neck?”
“Oh- ah…” Sou brought up a hand to touch the bandages he hadn’t changed since he left. “It still hurts. Is this the better, ‘Asunaro way’ treatment you told me about?”
“Why don’t you go and lay down, Sou?” She asked, and he complied.
“Sou… This last surgery will completely fix you. You won’t even remember it happened.”
“Won’t even remember..?”
His mother loomed above him, just as she did in the emergency medbay. Sou’s heart pounded at the memory of his brush with death.
No. Never again.
“First and foremost, it is your final test from God.” His mother continued, “If you pass, I guarantee you will be among Asunaro’s greatest servants. You will bring our research into a new, glorious age of merging technology and humanity. You will never die, nor fear death again.” Sou’s eyes widened a bit at that…
“If you fail…”
The assistants stepped into view above him, securing his limbs. He wondered why they wouldn’t bother to restrain his head.
“Well… Just promise me you won’t fail this time.”
“I… I promise, mom.”