Work Text:
“I can’t keep meeting you. We both know it’s wrong.” Bdubs’ heart sank into his stomach.
His words sputtered out from his lips hastily and carelessly. “What do you mean? We agree that ‘cause– even though we’re from different clans, it’s okay to be friends! What changed?”
Etho’s eyes shifted, refusing to make eye contact. “It’s against the warrior code. You know that.”
Bdubs scoffed. “When have you ever cared about the warrior code ?” He poked his finger into the WindClan warrior’s chest. “All you’ve ever cared about is yourself. Yourself and me . The only reason you haven’t asked me to run away with you and live in the mountains is ‘cause you’re afraid’a eagles.”
“ You are afraid of eagles. We haven’t run away together because we’re loyal to our clans.”
Bdubs’ eyes were wide. He was grateful the rain, hard and cold, covered his tears as they rolled down his face. “You? Loyal? You killed the WindClan deputy and don’t think that I’ve forgotten.”
“Bdubs.” His voice was stern. “Go home.”
The RiverClan warrior sucked a breath. The raindrops caught in his throat. “I’ll be here tomorrow. You’d better come.”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
“Come on, man. I’m stupid, but I’m not dumb .” Scar had a half-eaten animal in his hand. He waved and pointed it as he spoke. “I know you, and I know when somethings on your mind.”
“No, nothing's on my mind.” Bdubs prided himself on his poker face. “Just feeling a little sick. Maybe it was something I ate.” God, he hoped Scar bought it.
“Maybe Doc’s got an herb that could help.” There was a moment of silence before he continued. “He said I’m not allowed in the medicine tent unless I’m bleeding out, so…”
Bdubs flapped his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll go see him. Later, Scar.”
Bdubs pulled the flap of the tent open. The strong scent of herbs and medicines flooded his nose. He looked up at the shelves of herbs, all organized the same way they’d always been.
“Hey, Doc.”
“Bdubs.” He would’ve been afraid of Doc if he didn’t know he was, in reality, a big softie. They’d been apprentices together before Doc had gotten injured. After spending time in the medicine tent during his recovery, he developed an interest in medicine.
“Got anything for a stomach ache?” Bdubs put an arm around his abdomen for good measure and hoped to God he bought it.
Doc looked at him for a beat. “Uh-huh.” He turned to the shelves behind him and picked a handful of small, white flowers. The center was large and round with a brilliant yellow color. “Borage.” He placed the flowers into Bdubs’ hand.
Bdubs stared at them. He looked up at Doc. His eyes had no playful glint, nor did he look nervous at all. “Look, I’m not a doctor, but I know this isn’t borage. What is this? You try’na poison me?”
“No. It's chamomille. It’ll clear your head.” His gaze hadn’t shifted. “I know there’s something on your mind. I also know you’ve been sneaking out every night to meet up with a WindClan warrior.” Oh. Oops. “I’m not gonna tell you to stop or tell Xisuma that you’ve been breaking the warrior code, but I will say that whatever you’ve been doing is a foolish mistake.”
Bdubs rolled the bundle of chamomile in his hand. “Yeah. Okay.” He turned to leave.
“I know you’re not listening to me. You’ve got a terrible poker face.” Ouch. “Don’t do anything you’ll live to regret.”
“Yup, yup, got it. Thanks, Doc.”
“Don’t let me see you in here again without good reason.”
“Hello? Etho?” Bdubs looked around the tree that marked their meeting spot. They’d met here every night for moons without fail. His hands shook slightly. He circled the tree once more.
He wasn’t there.
Shit.
Bdubs’ heart pounded in his chest. He wandered around the surrounding area, peeking around trees and in bushes. His legs grew tired. He sat up against the tree. Their tree.
His fingers found their way onto the two long scratches on the bark they’d made together. They ran from about shoulder height to the ground. His thumb followed it down to the bottom.
And something caught his eye.
A bundle of herbs he didn’t recognize tied together neatly with some grass. It was definitely left there on purpose. Bdubs couldn’t think of anyone other than Etho. He must have left these for him.
Which meant that he’d been here earlier.
Which meant he wasn’t going to come tonight.
He had to know what these herbs were.
“You’d better have a damn good reason for being here, Bdubs.” Doc didn’t look happy in the slightest. Bdubs tried his darndest not to let his fear show. “It’s greencough season and I’ve got to get these herbs sorted. Make it quick.”
“Right, right,” Bdubs grabbed the bundle of herbs from his pocket. “What is this?”
Doc turned and eyed the plants. He grabbed them from Bdubs’ hands and held them up to his face, studying them. He looked at Bdubs, at the herbs, back at Bdubs, and finally settled his gaze on the herbs. “This is goatweed. Where did you find this?”
“Oh, uh,” Think of a lie. A good lie, Uh– “The border. Uh, ShadowClan border.”
“Don’t lie to me, Bdubs.” Shit. “Goatweed only grows in WindClan territory. How’d you get your hands on this?”
“I– Uh–” He supposed there was no use in lying to Doc. He lowered his voice, afraid of any eavesdroppers. “I found it where me an’ that WindClan warrior meet.”
“So you went to meet him again last night?” Bdubs shrunk into himself, nodding. Doc just shook his head. “Unbelievable.”
“So…” Bdubs scratched the end on his sleeve anxiously. “So, what’s it used for?”
Doc looked into Bdubs’ eyes and Bdubs looked right back. His expressions were near impossible to read, but was that… pity?
“It eases grief.”
Oh.
He was never going to see Etho again, was he?