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George knew that Dream couldn’t love him, but he knew that he couldn’t care. He knew that caring is what got him into the mess of secretly spitting up rose petals in his office bathroom. He knew that caring wouldn’t let him enjoy being with Dream. He knew that caring would kill him.
They had agreed years ago to fake date when the fans assumed they were together 3 years back. It would be fun , and if they never really confirmed anything then they could just stop it one day. But George had fallen - and assumed Dream had as well. It was easy for George to be confused, the lines were so blurred and truths and lies were mixing. Dates felt real. Cuddling wasn’t even on camera. And they were sexually involved. So when George suddenly got word on Christmas Day that Dream’s ‘rebrand’ meant deleting all proof of their blurred lines… he was confused. He already had the disease, but this newfound knowledge amplified it.
Dream hadn’t talked to him about ending the whole thing. He hadn’t sat George down and had a gentle conversation with him like he always did - because Dream had always been gentle with George’s heart. So what the fuck happened? For the first time since meeting Dream, his heart was being treated like it was second in line to content - to the rebrand.
George never brought it up, he couldn’t. He had stayed in LA because he could hardly go 10 minutes without roses spilling from his lips and wheezing his lungs. How could he explain that? He didn’t want to ruin Christmas with his sickness and so he just didn’t. He told Dream that he needed to stay in LA for meetings. Dream never offered to fly out. Not like before. Not like when they decided to buy a house because they were in LA for each other and hotels were too much. If one was there, the other followed. But George was left alone. Dream was rebranding. They had gone too far.
Christmas was ruined. And George couldn’t take the full blame. So he did what he thought was best and called Sapnap.
“G, what’s wrong?” Sapnap asked and somehow George hadn’t even realized he was crying. Love really didn’t taste good.
Not from Dream at least. Because Sapnap did love George, and George loved him. Despite their lightweight dynamic and need to always bother each other.. It’s how they showed their love for each other. They mirrored each other perfectly, they had given chunks of their souls to each other… they would love each other till their - till George’s dying breath.
“Merry Christmas.” George said, Sapnap shuffled around on the other end of the call and George heard him excuse himself from his family to go outside. George winced at that, he had taken Sapnap from Christmas with his family for something he saw as dumb.
“Merry Christmas, George, how’s Dream?” George could laugh at the question. Everyone knew George was meant to go home a week ago.
“I’m not-” He coughed and looked at the blood on his hand with a frown before he clenched his fist. “I’m in LA.”
“Why?” George could hear the frown that was plastered on Sapnap’s face. His brows were probably furrowed and George hated that he ruined everything for everyone.
“I- uhm.” George was usually a great liar - the best - some would argue. But for some reason with the blood, vase of roses staring at him, and just needing someone.. He couldn’t lie, but he tried, “Meetings.”
“The real reason?”
George let out a breath and closed his eyes, because if he couldn’t see the curse then maybe it wasn’t real, “I think I’m dying.” George said and Sapnap inhaled sharply.
“Not funny. Didn’t laugh.” Sapnap said in hopes it was a joke or that George was being overdramatic like when he said he would die in the Florida heat - or when the AC was too cold in the winter. But George stayed silent. “G… what- what is going on?”
“Don’t fly over here, at least not for a few days. You need to spend time with your family.” George felt blood rising in his throat and he swallowed it thickly. “I’m not dying right now.”
“How do you know?”
“That I’m dying or that it’s not right now?” George asked, careful not to let his voice waver. He wanted to approach this without emotions as much as possible. He already ruined Sapnap’s Christmas, he didn’t want to make him panic. (More)
“It’s Hanahaki.” George said. “And I uhm- I can feel the rate of my body giving up. I have maybe a week.”
Sapnap let out a breath, “Ok. You’re staying in LA?”
“Yeah, at the house.” George said, confused. Had he not said that before?
“Where does Dream think you are?”
“Here, but I’m going to tell him that I’m going to London because they took my Visa. This way he can’t find a way to be there when I die.” a pause, “He’ll figure it out. He’ll know I lied. But by the time he discovers this- this curse, it’ll be too late for him to feel obligated to be there for me.”
“ Obligated? Why would he be obligated?” Sapnap asked and George could hear shuffling in the background. Sapnap was back inside and George was confused about what he was doing.
“Because.. Yknow?”
“No- wait .” Sapnap paused whatever he was doing, “He’s the reason?”
George nodded but remembered that they were over the phone, “Yeah.”
“Ok, listen I have to go but I will talk to you in like… 7 hours?”
“Okay..” George said and they bid their goodbyes. George coughed up a rose and held it close to his chest, ignoring the thorns pricking his hands - they hurt less in his hands than his throat - and drifted off.
~
“G, buddy, wake up.” Sapnap said and George blinked up at him. Sapnap was there. It was Christmas night and Sapnap was there. George huffed out a laugh and discarded the rose, pulling Sapnap to lay with him. Sapnap accepted it and cuddled George as they had done many times before and held him carefully.
“Do you think we get a happy ending in every universe?” George asked, throat raw from the thorns that tore it and lips stained red from the blood.
“You don’t even have one in this universe.” Sapnap said, carding a hand through George’s hair.
“But do we at least get to be together? Does DNF not get to be too far. Do we get to date and get married and have kids that call you Uncle Nap- or something stupidly adorable. Do we get to be happy? Please, Nick… do we get to be happy?” Sapnap wiped George’s tears, “Do I get to live in the other universes?”
“You might not live in this one…” Sapnap muttered but kissed George on the head, “But I think so - in the other universes - you get to live.”
“Is he bad for me?” George asked after 5 minutes of silence.
“He thinks you’re pretty.” Sapnap responded, like that answered the question. But it didn’t. They both knew that it didn’t. “I don’t think he can stop thinking about you.”
“He’s always got his hands on me.” George said. It was true. Dream was always holding his waist or his wrists or his hands. Dream’s hands were always on George, like George was a magnet to them. And honestly, George couldn’t ever stop thinking about Dream.
But fake dating led them to this. It led George to be dying in a foreign place - one he knew wasn’t actually foreign… It was their house. He had been there plenty of times. He lived there along with the Florida house. But the house in Florida was home. This damn place was an escape .
“I should have never fallen.” George said, ending the conversation there and going to bed. He laid in Dream’s room. He relished in the feeling of Dream being around him - like Dream was there. But he wasn’t. George had limited time and Dream was smart, he would figure it out. He would know everything.
Would it be too late by then?
~
“I will fight it.” Dream said, through the phone as Sapnap made breakfast for him and George. It had been 5 days since Sapnap joined George.
“I know that- he knows that… but maybe being in London will be good for him for a little while- he can see his family, yeah?” Sapnap said and Dream only groaned.
“It’s different when he can’t come home, Nick and you know that.”
“I know but-” Sapnap looked at George who entered the kitchen, brows furrowed and laptop in hand. “Hold on, my mom needs me.”
“Tell her I say hi.” Dream said, usually he would ask to talk to Sapnap’s mom but he was just told George had to go back to London with no chance of returning till they fought for his Visa to be renewed. Sapnap brushed it off and muted to the call, making sure three times he was muted before speaking.
“You okay?” Sapnap asked, setting the phone down and rushing over to George. He knew George would yell at him for smothering if he felt better - or if neither didn’t accept the reality of everything.
“I don’t have anything to give away in my will, but the funeral home wants me to make one- I’m confused what I’m meant to even give away.”
Sapnap nodded, “It doesn’t have to be like house properties or cars or anything- it can be last messages, or money, or- or those video messages you made for everyone. This will ensure they get them and whatnot.”
“That’s your job.” George said in exasperation. “This sucks.”
Sapnap nodded and took the laptop from his hold, setting it down and hugging George. “I can finish planning everything for you. No one is making you plan your own funeral . You just keep insisting on it.”
“I want like- like one last thing that I can actually control. So picking out flowers and caskets- that’s something I can do. Making sure my family gets invited and everything…” George said into Sapnap’s neck. “I need something .”
“Okay, just don’t stress out about it.” Sapnap rubbed his back. “It’ll already be perfect if you’re planning it, G.”
George just nodded and clutched Sapnap’s hoodie in his red tinted hands, afraid to let go. Afraid to die.
~
Dream called Sapnap immediately. He was looking at the papers he sprawled out before him with furrowed brows and tears in his eyes. Bills for funeral homes, medical bills, copies of wills and a self-written Eulogy. One of the papers had a funeral date, a week after his death. A week from tomorrow.
“Yeah?” Sapnap asked, stress heavy in his voice. Dream could hear trash bags making noise and then water running and Sapnap complaining faintly to himself about blood being hard to wash off.
“I’m flying to the LA house- my mom is going to take care of the cats… she’s on her way over to grab them.”
Sapnap kept his voice steady, “Did you have a meeting?”
“No.” Dream said, “You’re there with George.”
Sapnap dropped whatever was in his hand. “ What? ”
Dream’s voice only filled with a rage that Sapnap had never had pointed at him, “You have been there with George since Christmas. I called your mom, she said you had to rush back here for an emergency. And George’s visa never got taken away- I found that out this morning.. And so I finally looked at the mail. I know what’s going on. George is dying and for some fucking reason I didn’t fucking know. Our best friend is dying and you lied to me.”
Sapnap looked at George who only shook his head and picked up the phone, “Dr’m.” George spoke softly. His voice refused to do anything but that. His voice hardly worked the last day and a half. “Don’t hate him.”
“George, what is going on?”
George let out a breath and Sapnap gave him a sad look, “I have Hanahaki… and 24 hours to live.”
~
“Why did you erase us in the rebrand?” George asked, looking at Dream across the room. Dream had been there for 4 hours and couldn’t look at George, let alone get close to him. George was laying on their bed, in their room, dying . Dream had fought with Sapnap for the first while of being there and now he was just standing in the room as Sapnap carded a hand through George’s hair.
“I couldn’t hurt you by directly ending it, I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal since we said we would stop it whenever and everything was out of hand. I needed to regain control of the brand - of our brand.” Dream explained, looking at George.
Oh , George didn’t realize he had been crying. But now he knew. He wished it wasn’t too late for him to care.
“You didn’t want to hurt me? What does that even mean?” George asked, coughing into his palm. Sapnap rushed to grab the small bin next to George and offered it to him. Dream had a strange look on his face, realizing just how natural it was for Sapnap to grab the bin.
“I wouldn’t be holding my end of everything if I didn’t love you gently. And hurting you doesn’t do that.”
George laughed, he actually laughed at that. “But did you really hold up your end of this arrangement? ”
“What does that mean?” Dream asked, “Are you saying I didn’t treat you right?”
“Clay.” Sapnap warned. “Hear him out, man.”
“Did you hold up your end of not catching feelings?” George asked and Dream looked mortified at the question. If it were someone George had not spent years studying, he would assume that was a look of mortification at the idea of loving George. But that look, on that face, was guilt.
It was guilt that the wings of their love could not handle the rays of George’s death.
It was guilt that Dream had fallen as assumed George did not.
It was guilt for not telling him sooner.
“No.” Dream admitted softly. “But that means nothing now.”
“Why?” George asked, sitting up and waving off Sapnap’s helpful hand. Sapnap let out a breath and left the room. George knew he wouldn’t go further than the hall, just in case . “Because I’m dying in a few hours?”
“Because clearly you love someone, George. Someone that is killing you.” Dream wiped the tears from his eyes viciously. “I can love you all I want but it can’t save you - not when someone else is killing you!”
George stood up on wobbly legs and walked over to Dream who held him up but the waist. George let his forehead fall on Dream’s chest. “You’re an idiot.”
“How?”
“You’re the one killing me.” George said and looked up at Dream. The color drained from Dream’s face and he just moved one hand to the back of George’s neck, pressing their lips together. George melted into the kiss easily.
“I love you - I’m in love with you.” Dream said against his lips, “Is it enough? Am I too late?”
George smiled and took his head away from Dream’s a bit but not leaving his grasp, “Pandas, can you go get sushi?” George asked and Sapnap agreed. George waited till he heard the house door shut before he pressed his lips back to Dream’s in a more aggressive kiss.
Dream just held him gently and George was okay with it. Because he was okay. They were okay.