Chapter Text
The day that Jay has been dreading for the past eighteen years has finally arrived, and to say that he is less than thrilled would be an understatement.
“Maybe I can hide out someplace until the ball ends,” He suggests to his official guard and unofficial best friend, Sunghoon, from behind the changing screen. He tugs on the blue tunic into place, emerging to survey himself in the mirror. “And you can tell anyone asking for me that I’m… uh, attending to some urgent princely matters.”
Sunghoon doesn’t even look up from the knife that he is polishing. “You are aware that meeting these eligible bachelors and bachelorettes tonight is an urgent princely matter, aren’t you?”
Jay ignores him, leaning on the window sill of his room, knowing full well that Sunghoon is right. Sometimes, Jay really dislikes being a prince. The expectations, the restrictions… They’re enough to make any teenage boy go mad.
He rests his head on his palms, peering out the window to the palace gardens below. From here, he can see the gardener tending the peony bushes, the sun catching on every strand of his dark hair. What must it be like, Jay wonders, to be surrounded by such beauty every day, invisible to all the world?
Well, invisible to all except Jay, of course. But then again, Jay has always been good at seeking out the things that nobody else seems to notice.
His eyes wander over to the image of him in the mirror, the embellishments of his tunic gleaming in the afternoon light. If he must make an appearance at all, he supposes that he’d rather look good doing it. And, well, the ball can’t be all that bad. Not when he’s the prince.
“Sunghoon?” He says, seized with a sudden determination.
“Yes?”
“Tonight’s ball. Make sure they’re serving the good wine.”
Sunghoon lets out a short, derisive laugh. “Done.”
❀
If there’s one thing that Jay knows how to do, it’s to play a part.
It’s an ability born out of necessity, but he realises early on that he seems to have a knack for it. And it has certainly come in useful in getting him out of a tricky situation or two.
That certainly doesn’t mean that he likes doing it. He wears a plethora of different masks, fragments himself into bits to make himself palatable to whoever he’s currently with. It’s exhausting, both physically and mentally.
“What are the chances people will start heading home by midnight?” He asks Sunghoon. The night is still young, and he hopes he doesn’t have to stick around and watch it pass him by.
“Nonexistent.” Sunghoon shoots him an amused look. “They’ve travelled far and wide just to meet you. You can take it as a compliment, although I, for one, would never understand their eagerness.”
They walk up to the entrance of the hall, notes of music and chatter rising up to meet their ears. Honeyed light spills out from the doorway, a steady beacon despite the darkening skies outside.
“Just talk some of these people up a little,” Sunghoon suggests. “It’s not that hard. Have a drink, go dance with them.”
“I’d much rather go dancing with you.”
“I’ll pass.”
Jay glances at Sunghoon from the corner of his eye. “You know, it probably wouldn’t kill you to let loose a little, Hoon.”
Sunghoon frowns, one hand resting protectively on the hilt of his sword. “It wouldn’t,” He admits, “But I’m on duty tonight and it’ll probably kill you.”
Jay shrugs. “I’ll take that risk.”
They reach the doorway and linger outside, feeling the thickening breeze brush past their faces, as if beckoning them to enter. “Well,” he says to his guard. “Here we go.”
He fixes a smile on his face – the smile, the one that makes him look more confident than he actually feels – and strides into the grand hall, Sunghoon following at his heels, slinking in his shadow.
“Jongseong, Prince of Decelis!” The announcer bellows.
Jay raises his chin, and tries not to look too blinded by all the lights.
❀
It’s almost midnight now, and the moon sits high against the dark azure of the sky. Jay stumbles into the gardens, letting out a sigh of relief. He wonders where Sunghoon is – he’d lost him sometime in the night, after successfully convincing him to have a drink with him.
Some guard he is.
The air outside is cool, laced with the sweetest notes of lavender and bergamot. He closes his eyes, taking what must be the fullest breath he’s had all night. Something in his chest begins to unspool. Now that he’s alone, he’s struck by the full weight of his exhaustion; his head feels heavy, and his feet are starting to ache.
Ok. So maybe he’s also a little drunk.
It’s been his plan all along, but now that it feels like the entire world is spinning around him with each step he takes, he’s starting to regret overdoing it.
He should go back to the castle. Out here alone in the dark, he’s completely vulnerable. He’s not sure he can even walk straight.
But something within him resists that very notion of it. His thoughts churn, and he looks away from the castle. The gardens aren’t too far away from here, he realises. Perhaps he could take a quick detour before returning, perhaps sneak in a quick nap, and nobody would be any the wiser.
After all, it is his 18th birthday. He deserves to do something for himself too.
The palace garden has always been beautiful, but under the silvery moonlight, Jay swears it looks positively ethereal. Plants creep up the sides of the pillars, spreading underfoot like a thick carpet. Around him, large blooms of soft pink flowers nod in the evening breeze. Peonies. They only started growing them a few years ago, but Jay finds that he can’t quite picture the palace gardens without them anymore.
“Have you lost your way?”
A soft voice from behind startles him, and Jay stumbles backwards a few steps. A warm hand shoots out and grasps his forearm, steadying him before he can trip over his own feet.
“Apologies,” The stranger says. “I didn’t mean to surprise you.”
“Not at all,” Jay replies, finding his voice and his footing once more. “It’s not your fault. I’m just a little tipsy, I’m afraid.”
“A little?” The boy chuckles quietly. “You look about ready to pass out. Is there someone I should fetch?” He glances at Jay. “ Or perhaps you’d rather I bring you a pillow instead?”
“A nap does sound really good right about now.” Jay says, trying not to let his words slur. “But everyone’s waiting for me back there.”
“Oh.” The boy cocks his head in the direction of the castle. “Yes. The ball. I’ve been listening to the music all night long, and it doesn’t sound like it’s about to stop soon.”
The reminder of the party makes him almost sober up. He can’t help it. The ball has been the talk of the town for months now – a rare opportunity for the townsfolk to catch the eye of the eligible prince, hoping for a chance at a life of luxury in the castle. Not many remember that it’s also a celebration of his 18th birthday, the only one he will ever get in his life.
“Yeah,” Jay says, a little forlornly. “Unfortunately, I don’t think so, either.”
But this merely coaxes a laugh from the boy, and the easiness of the sound makes Jay think that it’s something he does easily. He takes the time to properly examine him. The boy’s eyes are bright, his face heart-thumpingly open and honest. When he smiles, the dimples in his cheeks flash mischievously.
He looks incredibly familiar, but his mind is foggy and he can’t quite place the boy’s face. “Have I… known you before?”
“I don’t think so.”
Jay nods. “I thought not,” He says. Inwardly, he thinks that he wouldn’t have forgotten a face like the gardener’s. But the smile slowly spreading over the gardener’s face tells him that he might actually have spoken those words out loud.
To his credit, the gardener seems to take this exchange in stride. “Well, you may not know me,” He says playfully. “But I definitely know you.”
Jay replies, rather petulantly, “Everyone does.” It kind of comes with the position.
“You’re the one watching me work every day from the uppermost window.”
“What?” Whatever Jay had been expecting the boy to say, it definitely wasn’t that. He feels his cheeks start to redden as his mind flashes to the memories of him leaning over the window sill in the afternoons. So this is the gardener he watches every day from his room. If he had known how adorable his gardener was, he might have come even sooner.
“You make it sound a lot worse than it is,” he sputters. “Am I not allowed to admire your handiwork?”
“Of course you are,” The boy says, shrugging. “In fact, I’m honoured that you do.”
“Anyway, I’m not really watching you,” Jay continues, trying to sound nonchalant. “Just looking at the peonies. Which happen to be in your general direction.”
“Peonies are prettier when you look at them up close.”
“What… what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Where I come from, peonies grow in great abundance. We have festivals to celebrate the season when they come into bloom, purely because of how beautiful they are.” The gardener smiles. “What I meant to say is, you’re free to come closer if you’d like. Admire the flowers from a nearer distance. I wouldn’t mind.”
“Oh. Then maybe I will.” In the distance, he can hear someone shouting his name. Sunghoon. His absence has been noted already, but he chooses to ignore it. Just a little while longer.
“You know,” Jay says. “I never got to ask you for your name.”
The gardener raises his eyebrow playfully. “Is that so?”
“Are you going to be difficult and make me guess? Because I must admit, we’d probably be here for a good while. I’m awful with names.”
“That can’t be true,” he frowns. “You’re a diplomat.”
Jay doesn’t say anything. The boy is… well, he’s not entirely wrong. “I’ll go first,” He says instead. He smiles, drawing himself up to his full height. “Hi. My name is Jongseong, but my friends call me Jay.”
Well. His one friend does.
“I’m Jungwon,” The boy replies, holding out his hand for Jay to shake. “And I’m honoured to make your acquaintance, Jay.”
He takes the gardener’s small warm hand in his, relishing the way his name sounds in this boy’s mouth. It’s strange – hearing his name with no titles, no expectations. It’s freeing. Jay thinks he could really get used to this. “Likewise, Jungwon.”
Sunghoon’s voice is getting louder now, and he knows that he should really start heading back now. “I should get going. I think my friend is looking for me.”
“Right, of course.” Jungwon nods. “Enjoy the party, then. Happy 18th birthday.”
Jay stands in the centre of the garden, watching the gardener walk towards the exit of the palace garden. Rendered by the light of the moon, this boy is simply enchanting. It’s as if the night itself has conspired to paint a portrait of grace about him, and, try as he might, Jay can’t bring himself to peel his eyes away.
“I’ll come find you!” he calls out. “I’ll find you here tomorrow.”
The sides of Jungwon’s lips quirk up as he turns back to face him. “You think you’ll still remember anything that happens tonight by then?”
“I’ll remember,” Jay says firmly. “I’m certain – I’ll remember.”
❀
He’s not going to remember.
The night passes by in a blur, mostly because Jungwon retires to bed earlier than most. He’s up by sunrise, nestled among the flowers that dance in the breeze. Breathing in the fragrant air, feeling the first stirrings of life in Decelis. Trying not to think about a certain someone he met mere hours ago.
He’s not going to remember.
It’s silly, really. Jungwon’s life and its happenings are like clockwork – constantly moving and unnoticed by all. It’s a quiet life. A good life. Nothing happens out of the ordinary, and he should know better than to expect it to.
And yet, it doesn’t stop him from waking up with the luminous, golden orb of light within his chest that feels suspiciously like hope.
He’s not going to remember.
He tries to convince himself, again, and again, until he looks out at the horizon and sees a boy making his way towards him, shielding his eyes from the midmorning sun in a way that tells him he’s still hungover.
“Morning, Jungwon,” Jay says as he approaches, light cascading over his skin. He looks like he’s just stepped out of a dream.
“Morning,” He says in reply, brushing dirt off his hands. “What brings you here? Did you need something?”
“Yeah,” Jay says quietly. “I needed to tell you that I remember.”