Work Text:
For the past five generations, the Badminton family had been synonymous with power and recognition, its members making the front page because of their donations or for hosting multimillionaire parties. The name was equal with status and power, usually surrounded by the Bonnets and Saintgees, the other two affluent households they historically conducted business with. The trio of families had control over most of the local businesses, political platform and even the press — it was impossible to escape their influence in the public eye.
Of course, no one spoke of the rumors — how the Saintgee eldest had run off and renounced his name, or the Bonnet’s only son being a soft little thing who enjoyed collecting flowers. This kind of gossip was not for the streets but for the high stratus only, the type of conversation men in pressed suits with young wives whispered in between sips of Dom Pérignon.
In comparison, the Badminton were mostly unscathed — the worst they’d had to cover up was when Elizabeth’s son had eloped after becoming an orphan. The young heiress had married for love to a lower class man, and the couple raised their stiff, usually off-putting Israel to be a hardworking, angry little thing that wasn’t scared to bite his cousins when threatened. Despite his clear talent for numbers and organization, little Israel never cared for the pageantry of the higher society, and was not interested in his cousins’ games.
His uncle hadn’t known what to do with him, so it had seemed almost like a prophecy fulfilled when he’d run off. The car crash that had taken his parents’ lives only a few months before had turned him even more sour towards the household, to the point of defying their traditions and customs. It was with only a sigh of relief that his uncle took the news. He'd loved his younger sister, yet he couldn’t help but think that seeing the back of Israel’s head as he left their mansion for one last time was a blessing.
Israel eloped with a commoner boy and took his name — something plebeian, uncouth like Teach. Soon after, the twins Nigel and Chauncey made a name for themselves at college and the police force, their younger brother Gabriel right behind them, making his mark as a journalist. The three brothers lost their own father in time, and no one cared for their weird, off-putting cousin Israel Hands anymore.
Izzy stared at the fancy invitation on his desk and let out an exhausted sigh. He tried to distract himself by rereading the minutes he was meant to be correcting, but his brain refused to absorb the information. He found himself staring at the expensive stationary once again, complicated feelings mixing in his stomach. Maybe he’d take the rest of the day off, he clearly wasn’t making any advances like this.
“Iggy, Stede is being bitchy again,” Spriggs crooned with a rude knock on his cubicle wall. The young assistant didn’t look up from the tablet in his hands, leaning towards Izzy’s space with an exaggerated tilt.
“You know that’s not my fucking name, Spriggs.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever —” with a roll of his eyes, the kid pushed some papers out of his way and sat on the edge of Izzy’s desk, making the older man grumble and clench his teeth. “He’s got his panties in a twist about some fucking Christmas party, and I can’t stand it anymore.”
“And that means you get to interrupt my fucking work?” Izzy replied with a forced smile, wishing he could strangle the man without getting fucked over by HR.
“Don’t even try me, Iggy, I know you’ve been staring at the minutes from yesterday’s meeting for like twenty minutes,” he replied, showing he had the shared document opened on his screen. Izzy’s purple icon showed he hadn’t moved or made any modifications for the specified amount of time, and he swore internally at it. “Anyway, Stede hates coming to your cubicle, so I’m hiding here for a bit.”
Izzy let out a groan, ready to scream at the kid before Dr. Weeney’s voice echoed in his head with calm advice, and decided to count to ten instead. Taking a deep breath, he moved back towards the computer and stared harder at the document, privately agreeing that Bonnet in a mood was unbearable enough on top of an already shitty day.
If you’d asked him a year ago how he envisioned his future, Izzy wouldn’t have in a million years imagined he’d be working with Baby Bonnet on making their town a safer place for the queer youth.
The divorce had been messy, and he’d decided to leave behind not only his husband, but everything they built together — he took his part of the money, and abandoned both their home and the company they made. Edward had decided to go legal years ago anyway after a bad breakdown, so selling his actions wasn’t too hard, and that way they didn’t really have to see each other again. Izzy had enough money from the sale to move to a different part of town and maybe even retire, but he wasn’t born to sit still and if he was honest with himself, he missed being useful.
His therapist had agreed with his assessment — kind of. Dr. John Weeney thought he did better when he kept himself busy, and that the power position in the business he and Ed built was too much pressure for him. He’d suggested searching for low-stress options before he made a decision, but Izzy was already thinking ten steps ahead: he knew the best companies to work locally were owned either by the Badminton brothers or Bonnet, and he wasn’t going to beg his fucking cousins for a dime.
The deal had been settled for him when only a few days after making up his mind, the twins had made the front pages: both Nigel and Chauncey had been arrested for a ridiculous long list of suspected criminal activity, including attempted murder and blackmail. Apparently the authorities had gotten wind of their crimes by an anonymous source, but Izzy could read between the lines as he’d spent most of his life in the underground himself: someone had spoken up, and considering how the Badminton actions and money were moving there were only a few people who would have benefitted for it. He’d suspected the Saintgees at the time, and erased the issue from his mind.
He’d done his research — Edward Bonnet had invested in numerous businesses and owned many hotels during his life, but after his passing his son inherited them just in name. Stede Bonnet’s passion project was a small nonprofit called Queen’s Revenge that helped the local queer community find housing and establish themselves in the labor market. Izzy loathed to admit it, but it was exactly the kind of place where he could get busy and feel useful, while also giving back. The kind of place that would’ve changed his life as a kid.
The worst part had to be working for Bonnet, definitely.
Unlike his cousins, he’d believed bullying the soft kid was mostly a waste of time and energy, as he wasn’t even a threat to their own family business. His mother, bless her heart, had raised him to be perfectly polite — therefore, he’d accidentally found himself being shadowed by Baby Bonnet when they were young, probably because he wouldn’t hurt him as long as he didn’t make himself a nuisance.
Stede Bonnet had been a quiet, soft, cautious little boy who preferred reading poetry and picking flowers to playing sports. As he’d learn during his job interview, he’d grown into a mediocre, pompous man who had no clue how to manage the fortune he had inherited.
He was also a baby gay, recently divorced, with a wide chest and a particular tendency for tight, colorful suits. None of this information was relevant, but it was stored in Izzy’s brain either way.
He’d almost expected the younger man to not recognize him at all, but he’d been unpleasantly surprised when he realized not only was he remembered, but he got the job on the spot because of it. Izzy had complained about it, citing Bonnet’s incompetence and going on an extensive tirade about it, but the blonde had merely waved his words away and asked if he needed a raise or a higher position. Izzy had been shocked into silence, taken the offered cubicle and got to work on that same day.
He’d been ready for Bonnet to shadow him as when they were kids, but found that the man avoided him for the most part. He was also a very different kind of boss from what he and Edward had been, refusing to let his workers call him Mr. Bonnet and organizing social gatherings every month to “keep the group morale”.
Izzy despised him. He also wanted to suck him off. Izzy’s brain and his dick were living in very different hemispheres.
In any case, he’d spent the past few months avoiding Bonnet and his coworkers as much as possible, but some of them seemed dead set on having him be a part of the group. Dr. Weeney was proud of him for making work friends, despite his repeated explanations about being forced into these interactions and how most of them were a lot younger than him. If anything, he was only a bit fond of Jimenez because they reminded him of his past self, but that was it.
“Wait, did you also get an invitation?” Spriggs’ voice brought him back to the current moment, an outrageously surprised tone as he held in his hand the cursed piece of stationary. The man’s face showed a bright smile as he ignored Izzy’s noise of protest and opened the envelope, reading the words aloud. “ Mr. Gabriel Badminton and wife are honored to invite you to their annual Christmas Party, to be celebrated Friday 25th at 8 PM? Izzy, what the fuck!”
Iz bodily crashed against Spriggs, taking the envelope forcefully out of his hands, but that didn’t stop the younger man’s mocking. Even worse, Lucius immediately took his phone out and continued talking as he texted, and by now probably the entire floor knew about their interaction.
“Why were you invited to Stede’s fancy party? Do you need a plus one?” His tone was mocking, and Izzy felt his face and ears get violently warm, letting himself fall down into his chair. Spriggs let out a giggle and softened his tone, putting a hand on Israel’s arm and completely ignoring his half-hearted attempt at a growl. “Hey, you wanna talk about it?”
“Fuck, no,” he replied, saving the envelope in a drawer.
“Yeah, well, too bad!”
Iz didn’t have time to ask what he meant, because he immediately received a private message on Slack from Bonnet — Izzy! My office! Emergency!
At the notification noise, Spriggs giggled and left with a skip in his step. Of course, the fucker had told Bonnet about the invitation. Israel considered ignoring it for a minute, massaging his eyes in exhaustion, but immediately received another twenty consecutive notifications from the blonde. All in caps, all with the same request. For fuck’s sake.
Bonnet’s office was big and airy, sun shining brightly from the floor to ceiling windows. It was filled with unnecessary knick-knacks like models of pirate ships, too many plush seats and tiny pride and trans flags next to a framed picture of his kids. The blonde mentioned them from time to time, but they’d never visited the office. To Izzy, the whole place was a perverse misuse of space — Bonnet was technically the head of the nonprofit, but he let it be handled by a team that he trusted, and he only came in to volunteer his help, money or to make himself a very loud nuisance.
When he walked in, however, the blonde looked quite rattled: he’d taken off his jacket and tie, undone the top few buttons of his shirt, and was shakily inhaling a few fingers worth of scotch as one would a shot. Izzy closed the door carefully behind him, the voice of his mother in the back of his mind, telling him it would be indelicate for his coworkers to see their leader in such a state. He replied to the voice with a snort, reminding himself they’d seen Bonnet in much more ridiculous situations, like singing Whitney Houston at the office’s mandatory monthly karaoke.
“Israel —” Bonnet’s voice was shaky, his face paler than Izzy had seen since they were kids. Iz stood straight and pushed back his own apprehensions, marching decidedly towards the desk, denying with a vague hand gesture the bottle of alcohol the blonde offered. Bonnet served himself another glass with unstable fingers, and told Izzy to sit on the other chair. “So, Lucius tells me you’ve also received an invitation to your cousin’s party —?”
“Shut it, Bonnet” Izzy interrupted him, sitting down with crossed arms and legs. He knew he sounded high-strung, and it was taking all his willpower not to yell. “Unlike you, not everyone and their mother needs to know every little detail of other people’s private lives —!”
“Oh, you know what I’m talking about!” He downed the alcohol again, then stood up and began prancing around the room in an anxious circle, gesturing wildly with his arms. “You know I don’t care about that, you were never like them! But this has to be a set-up, of course! Is that why you’re working here?”
Bonnet was speaking in such a frantic, fast rhythm, it took a second for Izzy to understand he was being asked a question.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Is this a setup, Israel?” He insisted, getting closer all of a sudden and putting his hands on the arms of Izzy’s chair. Iz leaned back, but Bonnet followed him, their noses only a few inches away. “Do not lie to me: are you and your cousin trying to get revenge on me?”
For a second, the accusation hung in the quietness of the office, only broken by the sound of the AC. Israel blinked once, twice, then put his hand firmly on Bonnet’s chest and pushed him back; the blonde followed without a fight. For a moment, he looked just as he did when he was a kid, his eyes shiny with tears and bright spots on his cheeks.
“Bonnet: I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about,” he admitted, letting himself be honest for once. “I don’t have any relation to those cunts, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Well, you say that, but your timing was certainly suspicious,” he sniffed, sitting on the edge of his desk, next to Izzy. “You came looking for a job right after the twins’ arrest, and Yuuta did mention the timing was weird, but I thought there was no way —”
“Who the fuck is Yuuta?”
“Oh, right — Samael Saintgee’s kid, Gabrielle’s brother?” Stede insisted, pointing to one of the many pictures that had a home on some shelves by the wall. “He goes by Yuuta Akaishi now, we’ve kept in touch! He volunteers a lot, and was great help with the investigation and all —”
“Bonnet, what the fuck –”
“I was the one who sold out the twins!” The blonde admitted in a rush, his voice getting a few octaves high in a panic. He covered his face with a hand and let out a big sigh, as if the confession had taken something out of him. “Well, technically Yuuta was a great help, he has a lot of friends in shady places, you know? But yes, I was the point of contact with the authorities — which you must think is terrible of me, but I can explain!”
And so Bonnet kept going on and on in circles about how Nigel had tried blackmailing him when he inherited his father’s company, using Chauncey’s power in the police force — how Stede had confided in Yuuta because he was the only person close to him who’d also dealt with the Badminton brothers. Both of them and some key people from Queen’s Revenge had gathered information and set up a trap to send the twins to justice, keeping all of their names off the records thanks to — well, money and the Saintgee kid having friends in weird places.
Izzy absorbed all this information, but his mind was somewhere else: so Bonnet had probably accepted giving him the job because he was suspicious, explaining why he was so excited to take him in but ignored him for months afterward. The invitation to the Christmas Party was probably bringing all his insecurities back, which kind of made sense.
“Why didn’t you expose Gabriel as well?” He ventured, confused. This stopped Bonnet in his tracks, and they held eye contact for a bit longer than was comfortable before he let out another sigh and finally calmed down.
“It’s not like we didn’t try,” he admitted. “Gabriel has always been a lot quieter than the twins, they weren’t as careful — literally came into my office to try to put pressure on me.”
“Idiots. You could’ve bugged the place.”
“I had! And they
were
idiots,” he agreed, crossing his arms. “We tried our best with your other cousin, but there was nothing to be done. Yuuta said he’d keep investigating, but there have been no advances so far.”
Izzy pressed a hand to his closed eyes and let out a noise of frustration. Maybe Bonnet had a point — this was the first time he’d been invited to his cousin’s party, it was clear he knew he was working at Queen’s Revenge considering the envelope had been at his desk when he arrived that morning. Maybe the youngest Badminton did believe them to be working together, and the invite was either a way to get retribution or to at least humiliate Bonnet and Izzy in the process.
“He thinks we’re working together,” Izzy concluded. Stede let out a noise of frustration, agreeing with his assessment. “And was Yuuta invited as well?”
“No, I texted him earlier — he offered to come as my plus one, but I know he’s in a more complicated situation than us, you see…”
Right, so it was definitely about fucking them over. Here was Izzy, trying to live a normal life away from the drama of his old marriage and divorce, only for this bullshit to come up. He groaned as he stood up, and unceremoniously served himself some scotch on Bonnet’s glass, but drank it slowly from his new position on the edge of the desk. His entire side rested on the blonde’s, and he passed the half-drunk glass towards him. Bonnet took it and delicately sipped the alcohol. They sat in companionable silence for a few moments.
“So: is my cousin still a homophobic asshole?”
Okay, so maybe this was a really stupid idea — at least Bonnet was excited.
They’d decided to arrive “fashionably late”, just to make sure their entrance had the desired effect. Jimenez’s contacts had figured out who was in charge of the catering for the event, and they’d put some of their coworkers in suits for when they needed a distraction. Bonnet’s tearful disposition had done a one eighty by the time he picked Izzy up in a limousine — he groaned when he saw the car park right on the door of his apartment building, realizing the whole point was making a show of themselves but not particularly happy about it.
As he got on the vehicle, he found Bonnet clad as usual in a tight, modern suit but this one was done in a bright teal color, with gold details on top of a crisp white shirt. Despite being completely unlike something Izzy would wear himself, he had to admit the color combination worked on the blonde, highlighting his locks and pale complexion nicely. For his part, Izzy had been forced by his companion to buy a new suit, gifted by Bonnet himself. Iz put his foot down on matching outfits, and chose a completely acceptable classic three-piece in an elegant black — although he was now realizing Bonnet sported a black tie and he himself had gold details on his own.
“So you did manage to match our outfits in the end, huh?” He noted instead of a greeting, opening his jacket to sit more comfortably.
“Hello to you too, Israel! You do look dashing in your new suit,” was Bonnet’s reply, his tone so cheerful it confused Izzy. They were walking together into the wolf’s mouth, what was exciting about that?
Izzy also chose to ignore the compliment.
“I’d fucking hope so, you paid an unnecessary fortune to get it taken in such short notice.”
“Oh, we gave them a whole month!” Bonnet made a vague gesture with his hand, as if to banish Izzy’s comment like one would a fly. “Frenchie’s family is amazing at their work, and it shows,” he emphasized the last part with a look in Izzy’s direction. He felt his ears grow warm at the appraisal and cleared his throat, staring out the window.
“Yes, well — you look fine, as well.”
“Why, thank you, Israel!” The blonde replied with a sunshine smile that seemed to glow even on the reflection on the glass. Izzy squirmed in place and turned towards him once again, realizing that despite his clear anxiety, Bonnet was having fun.
For a moment, he remembered Edward. He was gorgeous and wild and smart, the kind of man to become the center of the room with only a smile — but he was always at his best right before a show, when the excitement for a new fuckery seemed to come out of his pores.
Izzy blinked, and he was back in the limousine, not stuck a decade behind. Edward hadn’t felt feverish or happy about anything for a long time, better not to get stuck in the past. Anyway, there was nothing in common between his ex-husband and Bonnet, he was just caught in his head.
“Do you have your story?” The blonde inquired, leaning a bit into Izzy’s space and causing him to snort.
“Came into your office looking for a job, we bonded over being middle-aged divorced queer men, went out for a couple of beers and have been dating for a couple of months.” He listed each item while raising the fingers of his right hand, having memorized every detail of the facade for the past month. “We’ve kept it quiet because of our history, but decided to go public when we got the invitation.”
“Well, yes, but you could look a bit more excited about it,” Bonnet said with a small, private smile and a giggle. God, of course he was the kind of man to giggle. “Gabriel’s gonna have a cow —”
“He’ll have a cow after we find some dirt on him,” Izzy interrupted, pointing into Bonnet’s face with a finger and letting out a grin himself. The blonde’s look seemed slightly unhinged, and Iz found himself extremely attracted to it. “If not, we run plan B.”
“Plan B?”
“We just steal some expensive shit and run away,” he shrugged. “He’ll still have a bad night, for sure.”
“Oh, this is exhilarating! I wish Yuuta could see us now, going undercover and all!” Bonnet was practically vibrating in his seat, taking selfies of them with his phone. After a few blocks, he raised a hand to hold onto Izzy’s arm alarmingly. “What do we do if someone asks us to kiss? I wouldn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, Israel!”
Izzy thought it was quite late to be thinking about stuff like this, considering the limo was parking at that exact moment. He gave Bonnet a serious look and straightened his jacket, ignoring the warmth in his face.
“Then we just kiss, Bonnet. Don’t be a fucking child, we’ve been dating for months, haven’t we?” He patted the man’s leg and walked out of the limo, turning afterward to help his partner get out of the car. A smart move, considering Bonnet stumbled right out of the seat and almost fell to his face, somehow not disturbing his hair but managing to get a bright flush. He closed the door behind them and offered his arm to the blonde, who took it gladly, before they went up the stairs into the mansion.
Their late entrance had had the desired effect, of course: as they walked into the ballroom filled with gaudy and bright Christmas decorations, as well as an army of guests, they had a clear view of Gabriel Badminton himself dropping a glass of wine the minute he caught their eye. It was almost worth the rest of the people across the room whispering amongst themselves — Izzy felt himself tense up, worried that he didn’t look the part.
By his side, Bonnet let go of his arm to interlace their fingers and gave his hand a supportive squeeze.
“We should say hello to our kind guests, don’t you think, Israel?” He questioned in a slightly loud voice, making sure everyone close to them heard and admired his bright smile. Not waiting for an answer, he directed them towards the other side of the ballroom unceremoniously. Izzy almost tripped over his own feet, but followed his partner as he exclaimed a thunderous greeting to Badminton and his wife. “Why, Gabriel, it has certainly been way too long, hasn’t it?”
Izzy had a very clear image of his cousin as a tiny, thin rat — and he hadn’t changed much. He was a bit younger than Bonnet, with mousy hair that seemed to be balding in places and eyes that were too smart for their small size. It was of note as well that his wife — who Stede called Antoinette, which Izzy appreciated for he had never met her — was over a whole decade younger than him, with a thick layer of makeup and permed, red-dyed hair. Gabriel let a big, fake smile take over his face as he admired them both in time. In the time it took them to reach the hosting couple, a waiter had cleaned the glass and wine, and a completely new one had materialized on Gabriel’s hand.
“Mister Stede Bonnet in the flesh! Merry Christmas!” He replied, offering his hand to shake. Bonnet let go of Izzy for a second to do so, but immediately returned to their previous position as he was done. “And Israel, darling cousin! Still Teach, isn’t it?”
The direct comment stung, just like he was expecting, but Izzy refused to let it show. He also shook Gabriel’s hand, letting a firm smile on his face.
“Back to Hands, I’m afraid,” he explained in a perfectly polite tone. As he let go, he discreetly wiped his hand on the inside of his pocket. What a slimy little man.
“Oh, you don’t say! I thought it was the marriage for the ages!” Gabriel’s tone was definitely mocking, and Izzy forced himself to bite his tongue and not reply. The youngest Badminton turned towards his wife, making a show of lowering his voice as if to preserve Izzy’s privacy, but it was clear everyone around could hear him perfectly. “Cousin Israel here married for love, you see. He eloped with the love of his life, a local runt — we thought they were the ones who’d make it!”
Izzy let out a small snort, discreetly rolling his eyes when he noticed Antoinette was hanging onto every word her husband said. Gabriel had been way too young by the time he and Ed ran off, so his practiced speech was either the fruit of his illicit research or just repetitions of what his uncle and cousins had said about him for the past three decades. Either way, this was a circular conversation.
“Thank God they didn’t!” Bonnet let out in a rush, his smile suddenly looking slightly forced. “We wouldn’t have reconnected otherwise, don’t you think Israel, love?”
The blonde turned his way, and Izzy instantly knew why he was so tense — Gabriel’s comments had made him upset, for some reason. He dared to squeeze his hand, trying to make Stede understand that comments like these could not hurt him. He gave the three of them a smile, delighting privately in how his reaction clearly soured Gabriel’s expression.
“Yes — probably for the best,” he agreed, trying to shake off how he somehow felt worse about Gabriel badmouthing Ed than himself. “It was amicable, though. We just decided it was better to part ways.”
“Right, of course,” Gabriel’s tone was venomous, which he covered up by taking his wife’s arm and making an exaggerated courtesy. “You’ll have to excuse me, so many people to greet! But do enjoy yourselves, we have so much food and drink —”
With that, the couple walked away to mingle, leaving a slightly vibrating Bonnet with Izzy — he locked eyes with Jimenez a few steps away, and signaled for them to bring them some champagne.
“Can I offer you any drinks, gentlemen?” The kid asked, their tray still containing multiple untouched flutes. “Or maybe something stronger?”
“Thank you, just the champagne for now,” Izzy emphasized, taking two flutes and putting one straight into Bonnet’s hand. In a lower voice, he added: “They’re mingling, we might not even need to go too hard. Keep your eyes on us, the minute we walk away, you start the party.”
“Very good sir, let me know if I can help you with anything else,” they replied in a louder tone, moving away to probably share the message with Archie, Frenchie and Oluwande, who were also hiding amongst the waiters.
“What a slimy, disgusting little man,” Bonnet let out in a rushed, angry whisper.
“Calm down, Bonnet. He cannot hurt me like that.”
“Yes, but still! To mock your marriage like that!” The blonde downed his champagne passionately, standing close to Izzy and bouncing in place. He looked around anxiously before staring back at Iz, a grim expression on his face. “I’m sorry I never asked, I didn’t want to — I don’t know, make you uncomfortable.”
“Shut it, Bonnet,” Izzy said quietly, aware of the people close by. His voice lacked his usual harsh tone, and a small part of himself felt inclined to comfort his partner. “You can ask after we’re done here, but there isn’t much to tell.”
The blonde’s expression became carefully blank at that, and his eyes seemed to be looking for something specific in Izzy’s face. He finally gave a small smile back, opening his mouth to add another ridiculous comment — until he spotted something behind Izzy, and he froze in place.
“Do not turn around,” he said urgently, taking Izzy’s arm in his hand as if to physically stop him from doing just so. He kept looking over the smaller man’s shoulder, his fingers squeezing firmly. The sudden change made Izzy tense up, ready to fight — clearly something was wrong, maybe they had to call it all off, how were they going to let Jimenez know —?
Someone called the name from the other side of the room, and time froze — Izzy shivered, as if suddenly feeling the cold from outside. He hadn’t thought to even check for the other guests while they were planning, sure that there was no way their social circles overlapped at all anymore, but he should’ve known fucking Gabriel wouldn’t do things halfway.
Despite Bonnet’s urgent whispering, Izzy turned around, his face carefully void of emotion. And God, was Edward still the most gorgeous person he’d ever had the honor to meet — he was dressed in an outrageous, lacy see through shirt with a set of pearl earrings and a necklace. Izzy knew the jewelry well, he’d bought them for their thirtieth anniversary — they hadn’t actually made it to the date, but he didn’t have the heart to take them when he left. He’d gotten them for his husband, it was only right he got to keep them, even after the divorce.
They didn’t make eye contact, thankfully, because a second later Izzy found himself hiding in one of the wide, fancy bathrooms with Bonnet by his side. He couldn’t remember how they got there, but suddenly realized there were tears on his face — his companion took a handkerchief out of his pocket, passed it under some cold water from the tap and used it to carefully clean Izzy’s features. Usually he’d tell him to fuck off, but he felt slightly untethered, as if his skin was made of glass and about to break from the cold. He felt himself take a deep breath, and it helped him get back on track.
Izzy cleared his throat and dried his face with the sleeves of his jacket, not caring about how rumpled he looked. Bonnet didn’t move away, even though he put the piece of cloth away.
“Sorry,” he coughed quietly.
“Whatever for?” the blonde offered a small smile, his hand once again carefully on Izzy’s arm.
“I probably look a mess now,” Izzy insisted, instead of God, I love him so much, I miss him so much, he is the most beautiful thing you’ll ever see . Somehow, Bonnet’s expression let him know he still got the message.
“You look beautiful, Israel,” he whispered with an honest smile, and Izzy felt himself blush. The blonde seemed encouraged by his reaction, and made a gesture towards Izzy’s hair, putting it back in place with cautious fingers. After a moment of silence, he ventured: “Honestly, I get the reaction — got to say, your ex-husband is — well, he’s definitely —”
“Otherworldly?”
“ — well, I was going to say attractive, but yes,” he admitted with a sniff that Izzy found fucking adorable. He let himself smile about it, about this ridiculous man who was once a ridiculous child that followed him around, who now rinsed his face and combed his hair. Bonnet had mostly avoided him for months, but since they’d agreed to take down Gabriel he’d shown he was still that soft kid inside, he’d just also grown into an adult at some point. And — in the privacy of his own brain — Izzy could admit to himself he really, really wanted to kiss the small pout out of his mouth. Maybe he would, after all was said and done.
“We should do it now,” he said out loud, once he realized Bonnet had been combing him for way too long. He heard the roughness in his voice, and told his brain to calm the fuck down, this was not the time. “Right now: the sooner, the better.”
“Oh, I thought —” Stede wrung his hands nervously, biting his lip. “I thought we’d socialize for a bit? Just to make sure people see us mingling for a bit, and then —”
“We should do it now,” he insisted, “so that we can be done, and I can take you on an actual date.”
This gave Bonnet pause, and Izzy felt his insides warm at the sight of the blonde man flushing and smiling as he understood what he meant. His partner bounced in place a bit, his arms opening wide, and they let out an awkward laugh at the same time.
“Yes! Yes, I think maybe we do it right now!” He agreed, finally, and so they left the bathroom with extreme care not to be noticed — neither of them had spent much time in the mansion as kids, considering it used to belong to Izzy’s uncle, but Bonnet had been to some Badminton Christmas Parties when he was married. Even if his memory didn’t serve him right, apparently Frenchie had also made friends with some of the people working for the Badminton family, so they knew that Gabriel’s study wasn’t that far from the ballroom.
The hardest part would be breaking into the room, of course — the new head of the family apparently locked it every night, for security. Izzy had mentioned that Ed could’ve done magic with that lock, there was no door he couldn’t open. He knew the basics of it, and was ready to brute-force it if necessary, but Edward would’ve been so fast —
He was in the middle of commenting about it in a whisper when they reached the double doors, and immediately froze up.
“… Izzy.”
“Yes, Bonnet.”
“Izzy, the lock is broken,” he insisted in an urgent whisper, holding onto Izzy’s sleeve.
“Yes, I can see that, Bonnet!” He tried really hard not to raise his voice, completely at a loss for what to do next.
It was clear as day: the door was slightly ajar, the lock clearly forced, and at least one light in the study was turned on. He was never the plan guy in the relationship, so facing a sudden change in situation left him at a loss. Before he could say anything out loud or try to get them back to the party, Bonnet composed himself and marched straight through the doors, ignoring his call.
The couple was completely static at the door, staring in shock at the person standing behind the desk.
“Do you mind closing the door, mate? You’re gonna get us caught,” Edward said in a whisper, making a gesture with his hand. Bonnet complied, and they walked towards him, Izzy feeling weirdly numb.
His ex-husband was just as gorgeous up close as he’d been in the ballroom, his beard trimmed short, his long locks tied in a simple ponytail to make sure the jewelry showed off. To anyone else, he’d look calm and collected as he sat on Gabriel’s chair, leaning back with the computer turned on in front of him — but Izzy had known this man most of his life. He could see the tapping of his fingers, the clenching of his jaw. Edward felt caged, they’d arrived exactly at a bad time.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Edward?” He finally asked, not daring to approach the desk and stuck right between it and the door. Ed didn’t answer, just stared angrily at Bonnet.
“And who might you be again, blondie?” He let out, in his tone, all the posturing Blackbeard used to have when they began their business in the seedier parts of town. To both of their surprises, Bonnet didn’t back down — quite the opposite, Izzy’s partner stood to his complete height and came closer to Edward, his hands on his waist.
“Well — I’m Stede Bonnet, nice to meet you, Mr. Teach,” he replied, and Izzy was surprised to hear the passive aggression in his tone. It was very unlike Bonnet to behave unkindly out of the gate. “Would you care to explain what you are doing on this fine night in Gabriel Badminton’s study, or would you prefer to discuss it over tea and cookies?”
Ed squirmed in place, clearing his throat — fancy people and pageantry always made him nervous, which was why Izzy had usually handled those kinds of clients. He looked back and forth between the two of them, still avoiding Izzy’s gaze, until he realized Bonnet wasn’t backing down. With a sigh, he let the chair fall and stood up, checking something on the screen in front of him before finally, finally , looking Izzy straight in the eyes.
“You’re putting yourself in danger to take this guy down,” he accused with a somber tone, and something in Izzy lit up ready to bite. Before he could respond, Edward raised a hand with a wave. “Stop, I know why you’re doing it — he’s a shit guy, he’s planning to fuck you both over, whatever — but we don’t do things like this alone, Iz —”
“ We don’t do anything anymore, Edward,” he allowed himself to show the hurt in his words, still careful not to raise his voice. His ex-husband shrank in place as if he’d been punched, staring at the wood of the desk underneath his hands.
Izzy choked, feeling his heart expand and contract so rapidly and painfully that it was hard to breathe. No, he was not going to cry — they got a divorce over a year before, he’d made his peace with it. He’d always love Edward, but he couldn’t live his life anymore feeling like he was an afterthought, or just a subordinate.
“I loved you — best I could,” Ed said quietly, and Izzy had to contain himself not to throw something at his head.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Edward?” He replied, feeling his voice shake in anger. He clenched his fists so as not to do anything stupid, and in a vain attempt to not start crying again. “ Best I could? Was going behind my back with a different lover every month the best you could? Or the wild benders with Jack? Oh, or maybe fucking fooling around with a gun until I lost a toe —?”
“What?” Bonnet exclaimed with a raised voice, and both Edward and Izzy shushed him in tandem. He gestured widely with both hands, and continued in a stage whisper: “This is probably not the best time to be having that conversation — which, mind you, I’m very upset about — but that still doesn’t answer what you’re doing here, Mr. Teach!”
“Well —” there was doubt in Edward’s eyes, although Izzy couldn’t begin to fathom about what. His beautiful ex-husband, the love of his life, saw something in Bonnet that made him take a deep breath and speak plainly for once. “Fang mentioned he suspected you were planning something like this, because he’s close with that assistant of yours?” He added a vague gesture in Bonnet’s direction at this, which was a surprise to both of them. “And I just thought — well, I thought if I got this for you, maybe you’d —”
“Maybe I’d what, Edward?” He insisted after he took a long pause. The room lacked air, as if they were standing at the edge of a cliff, right before taking a leap.
It was an eternity before he answered.
“Maybe you’d come back,” he admitted in a tiny voice, one hand clutching the delicate pearl necklace. His giant brown eyes shone with unshed tears as he looked straight into Izzy’s, and for a second they were kids again, eloping the minute they could to try to make a new life for themselves.
“Oh.”
Stede’s voice was small in his expression, breaking the tension and bringing them back to the moment. Edward cleared his throat, surreptitiously drying his eyes with the back of his hand. Izzy turned towards the blonde, who looked as if he’d been gutted, but was forcing a shaky smile on his face. Feeling out of his depth, he took a step closer to his date and offered his hand — Stede looked at it nervously, and held it with a confused expression.
Squeezing it reassuringly, he addressed Edward once more.
“So you hacked Gabriel’s computer? Did you find anything interesting?” His voice sounded stronger, and he felt calmer as well — there was a soft warmth spreading inside his chest. If anything, he knew he could trust Edward’s talent for hacking and finding people’s weak points. His ex-husband looked at their joined hands with a grin, which turned into maniacal laughter, ironically calming Izzy down. This was an Ed who was happy about a job well done.
“Oh, mate — you’ve got no idea,” he let out a sound of victory as he extracted a USB from the computer, carefully turning the device off and setting things back in the place where he’d found them. He held the pen drive up with a mischievous giggle, then put it safely inside his pocket. “Looks like our job here is —”
Izzy tensed up, and realized Ed had done the same — for a second, the noises from the party had become clearer from someone opening a door, and loud steps could be heard walking in their direction. The three men exchanged glances in fear, but Izzy’s brain was completely blank.
Of course, he’d forgotten that these two were completely unhinged.
His companions seemed to have some kind of complicated conversation with only their eyebrows, agreeing with a nod of their heads. In a second, Izzy found himself bodily flung into the desk by Bonnet’s strong arms, the man himself standing between his legs while Edward approached them from the side. What were they even —
There was no time to even ask a question: Bonnet’s hands held him in a tight clutch, and his mouth found Izzy’s in hunger, and the rest of the world disappeared. Everything around him was warmth and desperation, kissing the blonde man as if he could find the secrets of the universe with his tongue. Just as he thought he was about to pass out from oxygen deprivation, he felt known hands slide under his shirt and jacket to cup his breast with a hint of nail. A mouth and teeth clasping onto his neck desperately. The noise that came out of his throat was feeble and embarrassing, but he had no time to take it back before the doors slammed open behind Bonnet.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
The two other men stopped assaulting him with their mouths, but only let him go enough to turn towards Gabriel Badminton, who stood in the arch of the door with a face that was turning worryingly purple. Izzy felt dizzy, so it took him a second to understand what had just happened, but in front of him Stede Bonnet was the perfect example of a man humiliated for being caught in fraganti.
“Oh Gabriel, I am so, so sorry! I don’t know what came over me!” He kept apologizing and making exclamations of regret, but one of his hands was firmly cupping Izzy’s buttock, and he could feel a firm hardness pressing into the inside of his leg.
Edward, for his part, was making complete use of his gorgeous looks to cause a distraction — his fingers hadn’t let go of Izzy’s chest, but he had posed his lengthy body perfectly on the edge of the desk so that the light highlighted his features. He had a sultry, naughty smile on, not looking sorry in the least.
It was almost embarrassing how easy it was to escape after that. Gabriel screamed all kinds of profanities and slurs at them until they really worried he might pass out — Izzy grew tired of being treated like a stress toy and slapped all hands away from him so he could make himself look presentable. He and Ed gave empty apologies and followed behind Stede, who kept pretending like this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him — and soon enough, the three of them were back in the cold winter, huddling into Bonnet’s limousine to celebrate.
The minute the door was closed, Edward let out a scream of victory and put his arm around Stede, jostling him hard.
“Fuck, dude, you’re a genius!” He exclaimed, turning towards his ex-husband with eyes so bright, Izzy’s heart broke a little bit. “Did you see that, Iz? Stede was brilliant!”
“Yes, yes he was,” Izzy admitted with a chuckle, happy to see them both celebrating. They seemed to be getting on, at least — they immediately jumped from one topic to another, bouncing back and forth with no trouble from the original plan to their final diversion. Finally, after a month — or as Dr. Feeney would say, an entire life — of stress, he took a deep breath and let himself enjoy the moment of peace.
He had almost fallen asleep when he realized the car had stopped in front of an apartment building he’d never seen before.
“ — well, I gave Mary the family home, of course,” Bonnet was explaining as he and Edward came out of the vehicle. Ever the gentleman, he walked towards Izzy’s door and opened it for him, this time offering his arm to take. “I prefer living in the city, anyway — the suburbs only bring out terrible memories, you see.”
“Why are we here, exactly?” Izzy asked, a small smile on. Under his arm, Bonnet flushed violently, for a second at a loss for words and stammering out half-sentences. Edward came up on Izzy’s other side and put an arm around his waist, a sly smile warm against his neck.
“To celebrate, mate,” he promised with a kiss.
Stede Bonnet was a morning person, and that was definitely a punishment from the Heavens.
Izzy woke up in a bed that was big enough for at least five people, Edward wrapped like an octopus around him and feeling sore in places he hadn’t felt in years. His prize for both of them had been edging them for hours and only letting them come until he’d been pleased himself, which meant his ex-husband was going to be out of commission for a while longer.
The blonde man, on the other hand, was wide awake and sat up on the bed, with Izzy’s face buried in his leg. He was drinking what smelled like coffee, and had a laptop open on his lap and reading glasses on his face. When he noticed Israel was awake, he put a hand on his hair and caressed it with a shy smile.
“You’re quite the pervert, Bonnet,” Izzy said in a mocking tone, fully aware that he and Edward were just as bad. Stede let out a quiet laughter at this, and let him bite playfully on his fingers. “What are you doing? It’s not even seven am.”
“Oh, I was just checking out the information lovely Edward got for us for Christmas,” he explained, his eyes back on the screen. “I’m sending it to Yuuta and our contacts as we speak, and also got word from Jim and Oluwande that they caused absolute mischief at the party to buy us some time, and escaped with no trouble afterward.”
“Good to know,” Izzy admitted, carefully sitting up despite Edward’s sleepy attempts to suffocate him. He rested his head on Stede’s shoulder and stole his mug of coffee to try to wake himself up.
“You’ll never believe what’s in here.”
“I don’t really need to believe it, I just care that it reaches the right people.”
“ … Antoinette and Gabriel are siblings , Izzy,” Stede said this in a rush and with a shine in his eyes like he’d won the lottery. For his part, Izzy choked on the coffee and almost coughed a lung trying to recover.
“What.”
“Well, half -siblings, I guess. She’s about ten years younger than him, and was born from an illicit affair your uncle had with a maid!” His voice had escalated in tone, his excitement for the gossip like a child’s for candy. “That’s not even getting into how much information there is about how he helped his brothers before they were arrested — but still! Siblings Izzy!”
“So you’re both free now, and it’s Christmas morning” Ed’s sleepy voice claimed from the depth of the bedsheets. A curious, still clumsy hand explored the inside of Izzy’s thigh, while Bonnet closed his laptop and put it carefully on the floor next to the bed. “I’m afraid I didn’t plan any other gifts apart from the hacking. How do you want to celebrate, love?”
Izzy looked at him, his hair a tangled mess and eyes shiny from just waking up. To his right, Bonnet made himself comfortable and stole a deep kiss as one of his hands went straight for Edward’s neck. With a chuckle, Izzy laid back and put his arms behind his head.
“I’m tired now, you lazy fucks,” he snorted. “It’s your turn to play, I just want to watch.”
They laughed at this, and in a second Edward had tackled Bonnet to the bed — not that the blonde was complaining at all. For another moment, Izzy let himself enjoy the show. Merry Christmas indeed.