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I have a plan. The most ultimate, amazing, incredible plan! Almost better than the Arataki Drumalong festival! The Arataki Fishing festival! Fishing is a big part of my gang, we rely on it when there’s absolutely no other food, and we also make money just by stabbing little wriggly things. I love fish!
So, why not celebrate them?
But here’s my dilemma: Decoration. I mean, let me reword that, I’m AMAZING at decoration, but Kuki Shinobu said no stealing! What kind of robber does she think I am? The real problem is that she said no ‘borrowing and not returning’. Like, how else am I supposed to get stuff?!
So here I am, suddenly, with the most inexplicably AMAZING INCREDIBLE IDEA! Watatsumi Island! I’ve visited a few times, and I can say, that place is BEAUTIFUL. But on top of that, they’re all fish-themed. Even that Sango-na-somethingorother is all fishy. So, I’m visiting Watatsumi, and I’m going to find myself some TOP QUALITY DECOR!
I’m heading there now with a few gang members. We distracted Kuki and made sure she wasn’t aware I was leaving, because she’s such a party pooper, despite being pretty cool.
Watatsumi Island is reeeeaaalllly far away. LIKE SERIOUSLY. But we make it there just fine, with a few stops. We ride some cool giant passenger boat there, which cost money to ride, but we had no problem sneaking on. I’m standing on the dock now, watching Watatsumi island draw closer, trying to ignore the blabber of some Liyue tourists (A chef and a rockstar? Cool! I’ll have to meet them later), when I see a small flier on the deck.
I reach down and pick it up. It says something about the Sango pearls native to the island of Watatsumi, I can’t exactly see what it says because it’s in small cursive, but the pearls sure look pretty. It hits me there and then! Amigo, we’re getting some Sango pearls! I run off toward the few gang members with me and enthusiastically explain the plan. They’re on board. When the ferry docks, we run off without hesitation, off toward the fishy wilderness!
We harvest ten pearls (they’re so hard to find!) but because they’re so big, we can carve them down into fun shapes, like mini fishes or mini pearls. I’m so smart.
Our harvest is done by nighttime, and me and my bros are chillin’ on the beach, eating some recently caught fish and filling our bags with the giant pearls. That’s when a mysterious figure comes up before us.
“Arataki Itto and comrades, you are hereby under arrest,” a demanding yet young voice orders.
I turn, and almost choke. It’s General Gorou himself. Holy guacamole beetles. Nobody knows, of course, but daaaaaang I love Gorou. It’s one of my only weaknesses (despite stupidity- I MEAN UH-).
“Boss! Boss!” One of the gang members is helping me stand from my seat on the sand. Everyone’s running.
I snap back to reality and take off with my buddies. We run like the wind, and I can’t help but laugh. General Gorou, the all cute, amazing, skilled, beautiful, commanding furball of a man is chasing ME! What an honor!
We run and run until we see the ferry in the distance. It makes rounds throughout all of the islands nonstop, and they make a lot of money doing it, too. It’s already leaving, but me and the gang are excellent swimmers!
We jump from the dock without hesitation, and make it aboard the luxurious boat just barely. Gorou is left on the dock with a few soldiers, glaring at me. Awww look how tiny he is from here, his ears are cute when they’re flattened back like that!
Later, I’m confronted by Kuki, once we’re back on Narukami island.
“Arataki Itto, you great buffoon. What have you done?” Kuki hisses at me.
“Whaaa? Nothing!” I say.
Kuki sighs.
“You collected Sango pearls from Watatsumi island,” Kuki states as a fact.
“...Yeah?” I’m a bit nervous. Kuki is scary.
“They recently outlawed harvesting Sango pearls. They’re endangered!” Kuki barks.
Oh shit.
“I didn’t know that! And besides, what does it matter? They’re just decoration, we can reassemble them and put them back in the weird clam things we found them in! Right boys?” I encourage the gang, who nod enthusiastically, not in any mood to be attacked by Kuki.
“Idiots…” Kuki sighs. “Fine, I’ll save your butts again! You better thank me! Until I settle this, hide, okay? No crazy public events, no stealing or borrowing but not returning, whatever you want to call it. Understand?”
“Yes ma’am!” The gang, including I, all shout.
“Good. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE UNTIL I’M BACK,” Kuki makes sure we know our instructions, and then leaves in a huff off to who knows where.
“Anyway, Arataki Itto leader man, when that weird dog boy tried to arrest us, why’d you freez-”
“Nothing!” I interrupt, not wanting to explain anything to my gang. Not even Kuki knows I’m totally crushing on some rebel general. I don’t even know that yet. Jk, pranked ya, haha. Epic plot twist tho.
“...Okay.”
—
I am so mad right now. But I’ve got it under control. I think. I sigh, walking the streets, heading toward Komore teahouse. Some gang member, Shinobu, was it? Asked me to come meet with her for information on Arataki Itto. I couldn’t pass it up, seeing as I’m the one chasing him.
The moment Divine Priestess Sangonomiya Kokomi took notice of the missing Sango pearls, she sent me to investigate, and it wasn’t hard to find the culprit. My heart skipped a beat when I thought of his name, and I knew I was right. He just happened to be in the area, as well, and it was indeed not a coincidence.
It was hard to see him again. I myself try to be very formal, I want to impress the soldiers as well as the higher-ups, his free spirit and lack of interest in rules truly intrigues me to the point where I’m fascinated. To the point where whenever I see his name on a mission catalog, I read the whole thing immediately. To the point where when I see him, I panic. And I barely even really know him. Seeing him again like this was difficult; it’s hard to do your job when the person you're arresting captivates you.
But I think I did it to the best of my abilities. I ran after him and his gang, but when they leaped into the water and swam towards the ferry, I couldn’t move further. I hate water, and I honestly didn’t want to see him behind bars. I mean, part of me wanted to see how he would react, but another wants to see him free. It makes me happy.
I spend too much time thinking about him, don’t I? I don’t know what this is or where it came from, someone mentioned physical attraction, but I know that isn’t it; he is buff and stuff, but I’m more interested in him as a human- or, oni, that is. It’s strange.
Anyway, to the point, I’m meeting up with an Arataki gang member who has information on the culprit, the runaway, the thief- Bah, I can’t even say his name, what is it with me?
Kuki Shinobu is an interesting persona. I’m sitting in the Komore Teahouse with her in a peaceful room she must have rented out from the owners. She drinks tea softly and has a collected air around her, but she dresses like a true gang member. She acts almost like a shrine maiden.
“General Gorou. I think we both have interest in clearing up this Itto situation,” Kuki says.
“Yes, of course,” I nod, feeling my ears flop over and lightly tap my hair.
“I want to strike a deal,” Kuki begins. “Itto, as most people know, is infatuated with Ms.Hina.”
Please don’t bring her into this. I sigh, this won’t go well.
“I, from certain intelligence, and let’s just call it ‘observing skills’, have figured out you and Ms.Hina are one and the same,” Kuki says with surprising politeness. “If you were to dress as Ms.Hina and spend a day with Itto, he will stop and return the pearls. I’ll make the same deal with him; if he returns the pearls and ceases all stealing from Watatsumi island, he will be able to spend a day with Ms.Hina.”
I feel myself heating up. Ms.Hina is something I’m quite proud of, but when it comes to actual appearances as her, I’m more embarrassed than Ayaka’s socks, even more than Sayu’s master when she catches Sayu slacking, in fact. Wearing those clothes- I can’t bear it! Especially because that kitsune made them. Eugh.
“This way, you won’t have to arrest him, which means avoiding paperwork, you’ll get your pearls back without conflict, so less damage, and make all of this more peaceful and quick. You know well that while idiotic, Itto can manage to outrun anything,” Kuki finishes her proposal, taking another sip of tea.
I think for a second. Pose as Ms.Hina for Itto, spend some time with him. Already I’m blushing. This is awful, but I think Kuki is right, arresting someone is way too much time and paperwork, and catching Itto would take months because he is indeed good at running and fighting his way out of situations. He’s talented like that, in a way I can admire.
“I accept your offer,” I say, hesitantly. But being a general, I have quick instincts, and my second-long evaluation of the offer tells me it is a good deal. “But one more condition should be added: when I do this, make sure he reads and agrees to ALL laws in Watatsumi. He is welcomed as a guest, but he must follow all rules, or I will persecute him.”
“Fine, I’ll try. He’s not too keen about reading, I may have to read them to him while he beetle fights children and robs their money, but for Ms.Hina, as far as I know, he’ll do anything,” Kuki nods.
Alright, okay. This is fine.
No, this is not fine.
Now, as I’m leaving the Komore teahouse and heading toward the Yae Publishing House, I’m almost shaking with fear.
Yaemikophobia is a real thing! Stop laughing!
To get my costume, I have to speak with the evil kitsune woman, because she’s the one who made it and has it stored. If everything goes perfectly, she won’t be here, and I can ask the cashier for it. But I know in my gut this won't work out, as I see the outline of pink ears further down the road. Why am I doing this.
I remind myself of the benefits: No paperwork, permanent control on Arataki gang-related Watatsumi island issues, not seeing Itto behind bars, easier, quicker, plus, I’d get to see him. And sit with him. And observe him. I-I mean-
“Ah, General Gorou,” the pink-haired woman purrs.
“I need the Ms.Hina costume,” somehow I don’t stutter, but the way she looks at me makes me want to run.
“For what reason?” Yae Miko smirks all-knowingly. It’s as if she can see my thoughts, and control them.
“Official Watatsumi island business, it’s confidential,” I blush lightly.
“Not putting Miss Kokomi in a costume now, are we~”
“No! Don’t you use my commander’s name in vain, she is Divine Priestess Sangonomiya Kokomi, and I would never force her into something that hideous,” I bark. (haha, get it? Cuz he’s a dog. B a r k)
“Suddenly so defensive! And my, calling my outfit- or should I say, your outfit?- hideous! If you are planning to burn it, I won’t let you have it,” Yae Miko responds.
I sigh. Right, I’m supposed to be getting the outfit, not ruining all chances of her giving it to me. I can feel my tail between my legs in advance. I hate this woman so much. She’s even eyeing my ears- every time I start talking, she’s watching them, or my eyes, with some sort of scary knowing plottingness in her own red devilish eyes. Okay, maybe they’re not red, but still.
Eventually, I get the outfit from her. The wig is surprisingly heavy, and I don’t know how I’m not going to trip over this dress. I don’t know how, but as I try it on in the Komore teahouse (Kuki and I had another meeting on logistics, and I stayed late to borrow their bathroom) it fits me perfectly, and poofs out in a way that almost makes it look like I have boobs. Yae Miko shouldn’t know my exact size. Nopenopenope not thinking about her.
And when I’m avoiding thinking about something, I think back to the local oni I’m about to spend a dinner with. I can’t get his smiling face out of my head, and I blush, hiding my face behind my large sleeve, despite nobody being there to hide it from.
It’s time. I waited a day, as Kuki said I should, and now me and Itto are arriving at a beautiful spot on Amakane Island. I watch as Itto walks up toward me, his face a wide grin.
When he spots me, sitting on a picnic blanket in my whole Ms.Hina getup, he freezes. I stare at him for a moment. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him; stiff buff, still goody-looking, still red horns. But some details I’ve forgotten; how he styles his hair, the way his fingers curl in an astonishingly gentle way despite his tough figure, etc.
He unfreezes, as if a timer wore off, and he confronts me.
“Ms.Hina,” he smiles, lifts my hand, and kisses it. I’m blushing internally harder than Thoma blushes around Ayato.
“Arataki Itto,” I say in my female voice, which I’ve grown good at after using the voice for pranks the soldiers made me do.
“It’s lovely today, isn’t it?” Itto asks, glancing at the soft breeze that ruffles a few sakura petals.
So, we engage in idle chatter. We eat some of the food Kuki set up with me, and it’s actually enjoyable. Although, it’s getting harder to ignore the obvious flirts Itto keeps throwing around.
Itto suddenly inches closer to me, he’s been doing this the whole time, but now he’s only two feet away. One move and he could be hugging me. He draws even closer, until I can feel the heat climbing up my neck.
“Ms.Hina,” he whispers my fake name. “Your name sounds like the winds upon the mountains, caressing the trees and rustling the flowers gently, the world listens to your soft voice.”
WHEN DID HE GET POETIC. I’m going into a state of panic because him saying these things isn’t what I expected and Ican’tbreatheholyfurballs.
He gets closer. He’s legitimately hitting on Ms.Hina without an ounce of shame, and he knows Ms.Hina isn’t one for stuff like this, if he is truly a fan. I’ve mentioned in a few of my replies to desperate Inazumans that Ms.Hina doesn’t enjoy closer contact like this. But… that doesn’t mean Gorou doesn’t, does it? No, stop the thoughts there, before they escalate!
Itto is closer now, and he’s opening his mouth, about to say something. I can’t help it. The heat is too real, my dress is itchy, my position is uncomfortable, a bug is vibing very loudly nearby and my ears are too sensitive for that plus the noise of my heartbeat so close to Itto’s equally loud one. Too much.
“Itto, stop,” I say.
Itto looks surprised.
“I-I’m not Ms.Hina,” I admit, trying to get myself to look away from Itto’s eyes. “I’m Gorou. General Gorou.”
Itto leans in, so close our noses almost touch;
“I know.”
Then Itto kisses me, right then and there, in my Ms.Hina get-up he knows is fake, on this picnic setting he knows is a set-up, on this day he knows it was meant for an actor and an ignorant gang leader.
I push him away, but even though he’s a foot from me, I feel myself blushing harder. I pushed him away- why? Collect your thoughts, Gorou. Explain to him. He looks hurt.
“I-I’m not ready,” I stutter. I don’t stutter much, but it seems to be a regular occurrence today. “I think I like you, but I don’t want to move this fast. I’m so-”
“That’s amazing!” Itto jumps to his feet, grin wide. “You like me?!”
“I mean, maybe?” I don’t know myself, but with the amount of thoughts I’ve been plagued with about Itto, I’m starting to think. I have been obsessed with him, haven’t I?
“I didn’t think you’d like me. That’s incredible. We can take it slow. I’ll take you on dates all over the world, and get you the best food, and you don’t have to pretend to be Ms.Hina because I never liked her, I always knew it was you. Some kitsune lady told me. But oh my archons, this is awesome!” Itto rambles.
My heart warms. I didn’t know he’d understand taking something slow. I’m more fascinated with him now that I’ve learned this- that ignorant look, was it an appearance, or a personality? The image I’ve crafted of Itto seems to have more detail now.
“You should join our Fishing Festival! I’ll catch you the biggest fish, and I’ll cook it too, and then we can have an AMAZING day! Can I touch your ears? Also, I don’t know what fantasy I’m living in but have I told you this is AWESOME?!” Itto gleefully rants.
“I guess it is pretty awesome,” I chuckle, the nerves inside of me are still working it out: explode, or melt away?
Itto grabs my hand and lifts me to my feet, then he hugs me for a second, and backs away. Smiling more gently than I could imagine him to.
“You’re amazing,” he laughs. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve totally been crushing on you for forever.”
“I’m still figuring it out, but I think I may have as well,” I contemplate, still thrilled that he hugged me. “I’ve kind of been observing you. For a while. You’ve always intrigued me, you know? You seem so free; and you don’t seem to care for rules.”
“Well, you seem all too obsessed with rules,” Itto snorts.
We stare at each other for a moment, rearranging thoughts, on my part. What’s happening in his brain, I don’t know, but he starts laughing in an adorable way.
“Any other passerby probably thought I just confessed to Ms.Hina,” Itto laughs.
I think of the comedy of the situation, and start laughing, too.
Later that night, as me and Itto are finishing up the evening by walking around the city (I’ve changed out of the costume), I realize how sweet Itto truly is. It’s such a thing I never pictured him being. He sees a rock in my path and runs to kick it out of the way so I don’t trip, even though I’ve explained to him that I fought a war on a rocky beach once.
He somehow coughs up enough money to buy me little gifts I eye. I don’t know what I can give him in return, but he seems content enough giving, more so than I think he would when receiving.
As the day ends and we part ways, I catch sight of a familiar face.
“Divine Priestess Kokomi!” I am thoroughly surprised.
“Ah, General Gorou,” the army leader smiles distantly. “How long were you going to keep the secret of you and Mr.Arataki’s relationship from me?”
I freeze, blushing slightly. She doesn’t mind though, in fact, she chuckles ethereally.
“Just so you know, me, Yoimiya, and the Kamisato siblings have been betting on when you’d get together,” she smirks. “Yae Miko started the fanclub.”
I’m going to kill that kitsune.
“Good to know,” I sigh, trying not to show any unprofessional emotions in front of Kokomi.
“Would you like a few more vacation days?” Kokomi asks. “Actually, that’s an order. Spend a week here with Itto, and come back with me once I’m on my way back to Watatsumi after my conferences.”
“Yes Divine Priestess,” I nod, trying not to smile.
A week of time with Itto in the city. I never thought I’d see this day.