Chapter Text
It was one of the more quiet nights at Button House XI. Lately, many of the young men and some of the women have been swooning over the love letters they would receive from their sweethearts or send to.
For the Captain he never found the appeal for Valentines, yet he couldn’t help the lingering bit of envy whenever one of the privates declared that he has gotten a love letter; to which everyone else rolls their eyes as if they too didn’t get one from their loves.
So, he has decided to keep himself busy in his office. Writing the next Herts and Beds Regimental report. The Captain chuckled half-heartedly —Herts and Beds— sounds like Hearts and Beds. Just like the state this house has fallen into considering today.
A laugh echoed in his office and not one of his own. Startled at the sound, he was about to scold whoever barged into his office but the annoyance died down when he was met with the sight of his Lieutenant. A smile gracing his lips as he took in the sights of the man who stood up straight as soon as their eyes met.
“At ease, Lieutenant, at ease.” The Captain waved him in formally inviting him to sit across from him, “Goodness, I didn’t even hear you come in,” his stiff upper lip facade faded with the sight of Havers. Good lord, there is something wrong with him.
“Apologies, sir. I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been absent from the others.”
“How… long? Have you been standing there-?”
“Long enough, sir. You were talking to yourself.”
The Captain felt his face heat up, “well- I- err-“ he cleared his throat, “lots of work to do, I’m afraid. No time for dillydallying.” He quickly shifted his attention to Havers, letting him take the reins in these conversations, “what brings you here, Lieutenant?”
“I was just simply checking up on you.”
“You’re too kind, Havers,” The Captain smiled, making the other do the same. His heart beat rapidly in his chest. Havers’ smile lit up the room whenever he stepped in. The Captain enjoyed his company and there was this itch in his finger that wanted to reach out to Havers’ hand.
“It’s… nearing Valentine’s Day.” This was bold for the Captain. He’s never been this forward with anyone, let alone with another man. These words were said before being thought about and his rapid heartbeat of having Havers’ presence was speeding up more in panic. This will not do. He had to calm down.
“Yes, it is.”
“Do you-“ the Captain swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Yes?” Havers leaned forward and asked. Urging him to continue but still ever so patient with the man. Bless him.
“Do you have a sweetheart? Y-Y’know, someone waiting for you at home?”
Havers shook his head, “No… I don’t.”
The CO looked at him in confusion. Why did no one want this man? This wonderful, kind and very skilled man. “Oh… surely a handsome man like you would have someone waiting for him at home”
Havers shook his head once more and their faces were so close to each other they could feel their heavy breaths against their skin, “my affections do not lay with the opposite sex, sir.” His voice was rough, and low, and good lord he couldn’t take it. When did they get so close?! He glanced past Havers’ shoulders making sure the door was closed shut.
“Sir?”
When the Captain looked back at Havers, his confident resolve was reduced to nervousness and fear. They were no longer close and the Captain never felt so disheartened. I blew it, Havers thinks, I blew it. I’m going to be reported and discharged. I won’t be near him anymore all because I let my fantasies and wishful thinking carry me away-
“I- uhh-” the Captain cleared his throat, “this is entirely inappropriate uhh-” the two backed away from each other while the CO stammered. Havers’ face displayed his disappointment but was soon replaced with a reserved facade, “You’re right.” his voice was tight, but still, it was laced with regret. He blew it.
The Captain couldn’t look at his second’s face any longer and resorted to looking at the pile of paperwork that needed to be signed, “help me with these, will you?” He cleared his throat.
“Yes, sir.” Quiet, unlike the way he was just a couple seconds ago.
The Captain hated it.
----
The silence that fell into the room while they signed paperwork was thick and heavy. Pens scratching on paper became too loud and any shift on the seats were enough to make their ears bleed in an awkward attack.
“Havers?”
The scritch of his Lieutenant’s pen came to a halt, as if urging the Captain to continue what he was going to say. “Yes?” He figured a vocal urging would suffice considering the man behind the desk remained silent for five long seconds.
Cap snapped out of his anxious reverie and shook his head, burying it back down to the papers waiting for it to be touched by ink, “nevermind.” Though snapped out of a trance, he can’t help but feel the throbbing pain of self-hatred for being a coward in his head.
The Lieutenant, however, can’t take the silence and self-loathing. He wanted to sigh, but he knew by doing so it would make the Captain all the more worried and become jumpy. Devising a plan in his head was simple enough while mindlessly signing papers. Havers could wait it out for a little longer. He looked up at the Captain to find his superior’s head still looking down at the papers just signing away as mindlessly as he was. His eyes drifted to the clock on the wall and did not realize they'd spent two hours in an uncomfortable silence, doing the same motion over and over again. Looking out of the window, day became night.
“I-” Havers started, causing the Captain to snap his head up to look at him. He fought an audible gulp when he started, “It’s become night, sir. We’ve been going at this for I believe a few hours now. I think it’s best we take a break, sir?”
The Captain blinked and nodded profusely, “y-yes! Yes. Yes, I agree. Let’s- let’s take a break shall we?”
Havers gave a smile that didn’t exactly go up to his eyes which made the Captain distraught inside.
“I’ll be right back, if you don’t mind?”
“Yes… yes, you’re dismissed.”
With that, his second stood up and exited the room without looking back. The door closed with a snick. The Captain let out a breath he didn’t know he held, placing his head in his hands. Silently yearning for Havers’ return.
----
A couple minutes later, Havers came back into the room with a quiet determined air around him. The stark contrast left the Captain in curiosity because what made his lieutenant do a full 180? Wait… did he just call him his lieutenant in his head? In his hands were two wine glasses and a bottle of cherry port. “I think we both deserve to wind down, don't you think, sir?”
The Captain nodded, setting his pen down and gently shoving the papers to the side, “yes. After all, we’ve been at this for a while.”
Havers hummed and sat back down on his seat across from the Captain, setting down the glasses he found in the kitchen and poured the both of them a generous amount of cherry port into their glasses. The Captain took his share of port in front of him and cheers’d the air with Havers before taking a nice sip.
Surely nothing could go wrong with just the two of them in the Captain’s office; doors shut; military personnel all minding their own business and asleep.
----
For a while now, the wireless in the Captain’s office played the soft tunes of the Ink Spots. The once full glass of cherry port is now reduced to half the bottle. The rigid posture of the Captain turned lax.
“Valentines Day…” the Captain scrunched his face at merely saying the damn holiday.
“Do you have a problem with it, sir? I’m sure I heard you complain about it when I caught you here.” Havers recalled, chuckling to himself quietly of the events that seemed like ages ago but was only a mere couple hours prior. Oh, how he loves that man…
“I’ve got a gripe with the blasted holiday, yes.” The Cap scowled, “really. I mean- flaunting the fact you have a significant other isn’t enough already.” he took a big swig of port, “it’s a huge capitalistic ploy for the likes of Cadbury's, and M&M’s to all of us.”
Havers laughed, “sounds like you’re just envious, sir.”
The Captain scoffed, “Envious?! Of what? Couples declaring their love for one another? Wasting rations?!” This is what he told himself at least. What else would it have been?
Right…?
“You said it, not me.” his Second shrugged, sipping his share.
His brows knitted together as he sat back, “What? Wasting rations?”
“No.”
That was all it took for his thoughts to halt abruptly and his entire being stiffened like he’s told a secret after being interrogated. Havers asked the same question the Captain asked previously, “do you have anyone waiting for you at home?”
“I… I’m afraid not…” the two fell silent and the Captain’s thoughts came back to him. Should I tell him? How will he react? Why is he saying these things?! Does he feel the same way? he did just tell me that his affections didn’t translate to women… maybe this was his chance. But I’m the CO… that’s not how it works, surely. What would happen to me? Dammit, James. Pull yourself together! Don’t you know there’s a war on?!
A finger brushed against his hand. The contact made the Captain’s hand tingle, but he didn’t pull away. He wanted it. Havers was close… How did that happen? Why was he suddenly out of his depth?! “L-Lieutenant?”
“Tell me to stop.” Havers’ eyes flicked down to the Captain’s lips and the latter couldn’t help but do the same.
“I-I don’t think I want to.”
Eyes closed, lips pressed against each other’s and hands intertwined. The two pulled away. Hearts swelling; a new kind of adrenaline filled in their veins as they leaned back into each other, meeting in the middle.