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Ghost didn't always get like this, and he had specifically tried not to. But he kept falling back on it like a bad habit.
Curled up in his captain's bed as cartoons played on a small tablet in front of him. A dull ache throughout his body that didn't ease with rest, reminding him constantly to not move much.
He'd been gifted a pacifier, made for adults, by Price. Ghost's fingernails long gone from a habit of biting them till blood shed, or chewing his lip until it was swollen. This was the alternative solution that Price had found.
And it helped, a lot.
Ghost could hardly separate with the little thing, snarling whenever Price would try to take it to get him to talk or eat. Some tasks weren't easy with an angry little man. Though Ghost wouldn't ever purposefully harm his captain, he still was scared to allow the touch to come too close to his face. That was off limits when he was feeling completely like himself as well. usually.
Ghost's eyes had begun to slowly shut, to the soft clicking of Price's keyboard. He was alone in the bed, but that wasn't a problem. If needed, he could see Price in an instant. He was safe here, even if his mind taunted him.
It did taunt him. But it haunted him more.
His eyes opened quickly after only a moment of them being closed. Ghost was quick to shut off the tablet, and look up at Price. Unknowingly staring, in a not so peaceful way. He looked grumpy, at the very least.
“Simon? You okay, lad?” Price questioned as he noticed the gaze on him. The gaze of his tired little one. He saved his documents and turned off the computer to get up from the desk.
Ghost saw these actions as fast movements, rather than the steady ones Price had been taking. Effectively lied to by his own head. Everything felt so big, while he felt like a small child. The blankets on the bed were tugged quickly over himself, like a kid hiding from a monster.
“Simon, love..” Price's gruff voice spoke, slowly sitting on the bed. A hand reached out to gently touch Ghost's leg through the blankets. Something he hoped would ground the trembling man.
No, no no no. It didn’t help.
Ghost couldn't look up, frozen in place under the sheets. If he looked out, he didn't know what he'd see. He didn't know if he was dreaming. The blanket felt heavy, but it wasn't weighted. One thought on his mind, wanting to go home. He was home, but nothing felt like home the way it used to. Everything felt like it was spinning, even in the dark.
“Si? Can you hear me?”
The blanket was slowly lifted from over him by Price. Scared eyes darting up to him. His bottom lip poked out ever so slightly under the pacifier, trembling just a little. Enough to be noticable.
“It's just baba, breathe, Simon…” Price attempted to help him, scooting closer, by just a few inches.
It didn't seem to help. Ghost's arms went to cover his head, as if Price would even aim to hurt him. He'd never, and Ghost knew that in his rational mind. Now though, everything felt like it was out of reach.
“No, no.. Baba needs to go-” Ghost croaked out, as his pacifier fell from his lips. Shoulders tense, and body ringing with panic.
“Hey, hey, Simon.. baba’s not leaving right now, okay?” His hand reached forward, merely picking up the fallen pacifier before it got hidden in the blankets. No more efforts to move were made after that. Though Price understood the panic, leaving Simon like this would make it worse. After years, Price had learned the behavior of his little one.
“No!” Ghost shouted, voice raised enough to get attention. If he wasn't panicking, that would've earned a time out.
“Simon,” Price's voice grew stern, “I need you to look at me, can you do that?”
In the slightest way, the firm tone gave off warmth rather than demand. Somehow, Price always knew when he needed the push. A little push to get him to focus. Whether it be while he's little, on base, or on the field, there were always phrases and tones that got him to pay attention again.
His eyes peered up at the captain, arms lowering slowly. Tears in his eyes, with a puffy lip from suckling on that instead of his pacifier.
“I know it's scary, son.. but it's just us, just you and me.” Price kept the firm words, but somehow managed to be perfectly gentle. As if he was speaking to a fragile creature. In a way, he was.
Though Ghost was an incredibly strong man, who was rough around the edges, and appeared terrifying to any new people, there was an undeniable softness in his eyes that he only held around his team members. His trusted friends.
“Baba…” Ghost's voice shook, the tears threatening to fall.
A hand reached out to him, next to his face. No reaction, nothing of fear. The hand slowly came into contact with the skin. Though his skin felt sore, reddened by his panic, he didn't move away.
“Breathe, love, it's okay.” Price was so gentle with him. His thumb softly brushed over the skin, making contact with a few scars.
It didn't tug the skin, the touch was light enough to add a soothing warmth instead of a painful heat. Ghost blinked as the tears fell from his eyes, his mouth open to suck in breaths.
“That's it, son. Baba's here.” The words were soft to his ears, as the thumb on his cheek was gently brushing away the tears. Soft. Soft..
Warm. Safe.
Ghost knew, in every way, that Price was nothing like his father. Nothing like his fucked up family. Yet, everytime he panicked like this when he was regressed, he needed the helping hand to remind him that he was safe. Price wasn’t ever rough with him, there would be no hitting. No spank would come down on him, no snakes would crawl into his bed, no bodies would be on the floor. They were home, at base, safe in Price’s space.
Air began to fill his lungs without scorching them. His eyes didn’t meet Price’s, but he allowed himself to lean his head into the firm and comforting touch of his caregiver. When it was the two of them, like this, there was no lieutenant, no captain. It was Simon and Price, a little guy with his baba. Being able to separate the differences helped Ghost establish his comfort zones, his boundaries. Those bounds were deathly important to him, but he often allowed the lines to blur for Price. There was unspoken trust there, it didn’t need to be expressed. Knowing glances, and warm touch confirmed it every time it was a worry point for them.
“Baba…” The fragile word fell from Ghost’s lips. No matter the height of the man, he looked so small now. Ghost was slightly curling into himself. Slouched at a visibly uncomfortable angle, arms over his belly with his legs criss cross underneath him.
“Tell me what you need, Simon. I’m right here…” Price returned equally soft words, warm brown eyes looking down at the little one.
His words were responded to by Ghost making an effort to wiggle his way to Price. The solid body of his caregiver reminded him that he wouldn’t fall through. This wasn’t a dream, and that he was safe.
An arm was lifted and wrapped around Ghost’s figure.
“How about we get that lip out of your mouth, hm, little guy?” Price knew better than to order Simon when he was so fragile, it was merely a request. When he got a soft nod from his little one, he used a light touch to remove the bottom lip from Ghost’s mouth, and replaced it with the previously discarded pacifier. His poor lip puffy and far too red.
Sleep wouldn’t be something achievable for a while, Price assumed, because of the reaction earlier. It wouldn’t be a problem, an early bed time would make up for it.
Ghost softly suckled on the pacifier as it was put back into his mouth, still clean. Price took good care of him. Every time he realized it again, he felt the warmth squeeze around his heart. It pulled tears back to his eyes, any little thing could make him feel so warm inside.
There was some shifting, then Price nice and snugly up to him under the covers. Simon’s mind too distracted by the comforting suckling of the pacifier to realize he was being pulled down on the bed, with Price. He let out a small huff as he settled down, Price’s arm still around him as he shifted to his side, where he laid his head just over Price’s chest. With how many times he’d gotten settled like that, his head found the perfect spot to listen to his heart beat.
A hand brushed through the short, blond curly hair on his head, Simon’s eyes closing briefly at that action. Breaths came in fully, no shuddering or whimpering accompanying the breaths. Peaceful, once again.
“There’s my boy.. Just rest.” Price spoke to him, knowing fully that sleep wouldn’t be something on the boy’s agenda. It didn’t need to be.
Simply from how the day was going so far, Price had the idea that he’d have a little one longer than expected. The rest of the day, if not leading into the next. Though, it was never a problem. The sargents always helped if Price couldn’t, but they all knew the favorite. No one would beat Price in that category, ever.
Ghost’s eyes remained shut. The room quieted, only the sounds of breathing and the soft sound of the pacifier in Simon’s mouth. Not a thing had to be said. With Price, Ghost could relax in the silence without his ears overworking for sounds of threats. Nothing had to be worried about. Ghost knew where he’d get his food from, where he’d sleep, where he’d be safe.
Simon could recognize that feeling, however far it seemed.
It was home.