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He holds his hand, together smiling. There they were on that paopu tree. He leaned his head onto his shoulder, I love you— a whisper, but it wouldn't be the same.
Fireworks up in the sky, all around them. A lighter in his hand as he spelled out his precious one's name.
If only, he thought.
He wasn't by his side.
He would never be.
He didn't deserve to be next to him.
Ha, he thought.
What a Delusional thought, after everything he did and done.
Darkness controls his heart, he gave in.
He stupidly let it get the best of him to the point where he was willing to hurt the one he was supposed to protect.
He always wanted to protect him, his precious friend.
But he did the opposite.
He tried to destroy him, kill even.
Everyone else is celebrating the year being over. Hoping for everlasting peace. But he'll only bring destruction.
He'll bring darkness. He has no place in the light.
He'll just watch from the shadows to bring Sora everything he ever wanted.
As long as he was happy, nothing else mattered.
All he wished for Sora to have was happiness. Sora may never know the truth, but that's okay. He can pretend he's okay. As long as Sora is happy then he's content with how he is.
And right now, Sora is happy. He is with his friends celebrating. And because of that, he's okay.
He's…
He's okay.
He's fine.
He's alright.
At least that's what he tells himself.
Sora has Kairi. Axel, Saïx, Xion, Roxas, and Naminé was there too. Ven Terra, and Aqua even managed to come. The radiant garden guys, Demyx, Ienzo, Dilan, and Aeleus arrived too. He was fine.
He had everyone he ever needed.
He didn't need him.
He didn't love him.
And that's okay.
They were best friends and that's all that mattered, so then why when the fireworks went off he felt himself being sad.
Why couldn't it be accepted?
Or maybe he was just scared? Scared of himself, his darkness, and what he could be.
So why was it like this?
He loved Sora but Sora would never love him back.
Or at least that's what he believed.
When will those dreams fade away? He wondered, when will they finally let him be free?
If he had an option, he would give his life for him again and again.
He would save him and sacrifice for Sora.
Sometimes Sora didn't even know, but that's okay.
He felt the branch shift as he heard the leaves move.
“So this is where you are hiding.” A voice, too familiar. He couldn't ignore it. “Why did you leave?”
Sora's out here, not inside with all his friends.
“I didn't belong.” It was true, he was an outsider to everything. “You should go back inside.”
“After you!” Sora still grinned, watching Riku. “I don't want you to be all by yourself.”
“Something like that isn’t for me. Kairi and the others might get worried if you're gone too long.” He looked down. Still feeling distressed, “Besides I'm…”
Darkness
Sora frowned and leaned closer, “Nah they'll get it. Kairi knew I was looking for you.”
“Oh.” All he responded with, still looking away.
“I'll stay with you instead.” Sora decided, still sitting with Riku.
He widened his eyes, which was unexpected.
Shouldn't he be with Kairi?
Why him?
He would be happier without him.
Sora continued smiling, swinging his feet as they dangled off the branch as if he was a kid again. “It wasn't too long ago we were here planning to venture off the islands. We all helped to build that raft together. It was just like this. One day we were here together and the next we were in completely different worlds. And ever since, we've traveled so many worlds and seen so much.”
Riku was silent, but still he enjoyed hearing his voice. He supposed he couldn't change Sora's mind and a part of him liked that he was with him.
The fireworks continued.
I.. love… you. A whisper.
What a coward, he thought
“Did you say something?” Sora smiled still.
Riku shook his head, “Nah. Don't worry about it. It's just when I'm with you, I feel that the darkness doesn't have a hold on me.” He smiled softly, looking with such admiration and love.
“You make me strong too!” Sora grinned.
Several minutes left.
The fireworks continued going off.
“You're strong by yourself Sora, remember that for me, okay?” Riku allowed himself to lean his head on Sora's shoulder.
Sora grinned and laid his hand on top of his friend's hand.
If they could stay like this forever… he wouldn't mind, but dreams don't last forever and one day you have to wake up.
So he held his eyes closed, still leaning against Sora.
But who knew reality could feel so fantastical?
A branch fell.
Golden yellow.
In his hands.
Riku with his head on Sora's shoulder, didn't realize.
“Here! For the upcoming year!” Sora tilted his head and smiled, “We won't ever be apart!”
Riku opened one of his eyes and gasped not even audibly. His cheeks flushed.
In front of him was Sora, offering a star shaped fruit.
“S-sora?” He didn't know what to say, “That's a…” Riku's words escaped him.
Sora smiled and nodded, “For you. You once offered it to me once. Now, I finally have my answer. I accept.” Sora bit half of the fruit before smiling.
Riku closed his eyes and nodded, “Together forever.”
Sora fed him the fruit.
It was everything he imagined yet nothing he imagined.
The taste was so sweet. The first bite brought a magical feeling like they would be united forever and a savory citrus filled his lungs. A scent of the sea and all its dreams came soon after.
Riku held Sora's own hands with his own, feeling more confident as ever.
Sora wanted him— not anyone else to share the paopu with.
Only a few minutes left.
“I love you.” said Sora, beating Riku to the confession. Still, Sora smiled through every word, “I love you so much! You're my best friend but I love you more than just that. I love you like the light you bring to my eyes. You are my light. The world is in twilight and you shine the brightest. With Riku by my side everything is possible.”
Sora kept holding onto Riku’s hand. But he wasn't done speaking, “I don't want anything to change and I was scared what might happen between us if I said anything, but someone told me that you wouldn't ever make me feel less because of this.”
Riku suddenly leaned for a hug and brought Sora closer to him. He felt himself crying, “I love you too! I have for so long and I thought you didn't feel the same. I was so content with things staying how they were as long as you are happy.”
Sora kept smiling as he couldn't believe his friend's words.
He felt the same?
Neither one realized it.
Way less than a minute.
So he leaned forward, letting his lips meet the other's. His cheeks cupped in hand as his precious one caressed his cheeks.
4
Eyes closed.
3
And they leaned up close. Arms around the other.
2
The fireworks became even louder and more frequent.
1
Another kiss. Sora leaned in first this time. Riku held him close.
Their hands together as they broke free.
Sora's on Riku's shoulder while Riku's leaned back on Sora's shoulder.
A distance over they heard cheers and shouting, “Happy New Year!”
Riku looked at Sora with admiration and love. Sora grinned back at him.
Maybe dreams do come true just under the minutes of a new year… even if all hope is lost.