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For as long as the both of them can remember, Osumu and Shinsuke have been business partners since the start of their careers. With Shinsuke’s farming expertise, he provided Osamu with ingredients for his growing business 𑁋 Onigiri Miya.
Osamu, with a talent for culinary arts knew that quality ingredients were crucial for his creations, turned to his old volleyball captain and close friend, now farmer, Shinsuke who has an understanding of the agricultural industry and was known for growing the freshest products in the region.
Of course, Shinsuke gladly agreed to supply Osamu with the things he needed, seeing it as an opportunity to support his friend's dreams while also showcasing the fruits of his labor. Their collaboration not only benefited their respective businesses but also strengthened their bond as friends.
Even though certain connections caused obstacles to their said bond, Kita was happy that they were able to keep in touch even after everything.
That’s why in a celebration of his success, he did not forget to invite him to the special anniversary party of his restaurant.
“Kita-san! You’re here! So glad you could make it!” The brunette gave his old captain a warm welcome as he escorted him inside the venue. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Kita jokes as he hands the younger a glass of wine as a present. “Ya really dressed up the place huh?”
“Nah, this wasn’t me. Rin decided to call up a few of the guys to decorate the place since he felt bad that he couldn’t be here to help me prepare for it all” Osamu explains how his boyfriend took the liberty of contacting a few of the staff members to set up the restaurant for him. “Well he and the guys did great. Is he coming today?” to which the brunette happily nodded. “Come on, Nana is waiting for you” he continued, leading his guest to the kitchen.
As soon as he enters, he is greeted with a woman of elegance; enough to keep you intimidated yet hooked. That was their charm after all; the Miya’s were like that. “Shin! How have you been, sweetheart?” The twins’ beloved grandmother spread her arm wide for the younger male. It wasn’t everyday that she got to see him. “I’m fine, Asami-san. Have you been well?” Kita gracefully answers back as he returns the hug of the elderly woman. “Lovely as ever are ya? I’m doing fine, I sure wish you would come on over to the house more often though”
“My apologies, you know it’s not the same. I’ll try to catch up with you more often through Samu though” He said. “Oh nonsense! I wasn’t trying to guilt ya! Just missed seeing ya every week like before” She smiles back.
Like the person he was, Kita took the liberty to help Osamu finish everything up as they both waited for more guests to arrive. New and old customers, a few more business partners, many town folks, and a lot of Osamu’s close friends were present.
However, one detrimental thing Osamu forgot to mention was that his twin brother would be present at the event as well. The same twin brother who Kita had enamored and broken all at once.
Just an hour and a half into the get-together, as everyone was mingling and talking, someone came rushing through the door. Their presence has gone unnoticed, as his tall figure and large build was enough to catch everyone’s attention. Kita’s head turned at the sound; eyes focused to see who it was.
“Took ya a while, didn’t ya?” Osamu spoke across the room, hurriedly walking over to the entrance.
“Sorry, traffic was a bum” Suna Rintarou apologized as he walked over to his lover to congratulate him. “Yeah yeah, don’t worry about it. Glad you got here safely” He replies as he places a soft welcoming kiss on Suna’s lips.
“Did he-”
Before the cook even got to finish his sentence, an even larger presence entered the room. “Tell me again why I agreed to be the one driving to town?”
“Because you owe me one for being a pain in the ass”
This was not part of Kita Shinsuke’s carefully planned 9-to-5 schedule.
Today was supposed to be 𑁋wake up and do his usual morning routine, get some work done at the farm, read a few chapters from his book, get dressed, go to Onigiri Miya’s anniversary party, go home and sleep.
There was no ‘See Atsumu again after nearly a year of avoiding him’ on the list.
“Food’s out the back-” the words faded. For both of them.
Atsumu Miya, who had practice and drove for almost two hours on the road just so he can celebrate his brother’s success, was supposed to be unpleasantly restless, felt no ounce of fatigue as his eyes came across the silver-haired male from the bar, but instead a fluttering feeling.
Meanwhile, the thought of seeing Atsumu again after painfully separating with him stirred up a mix of emotions within Shinsuke– curiosity, agitation, and perhaps even a glimmer of sadness. Kita wasn’t dumb; he knew he would have to face him again sooner or later, especially since he basically talks to his brother every 5 business days. He just wasn’t prepared for that day to come as of the moment.
He looked away as soon as he realized that the blonde had been glancing at him way more often than he hoped he would. Shinsuke turned around on his stool, leaned closer to the counter and took a sip of the whiskey Samu offered him along the way.
How was he supposed to act now? They haven’t seen each other, much less had a casual conversation over the phone in the past year. The only time they were ever updated was when Grandma Miya or Osamu would mention them, or when one of their mutual friends would bring up their name. They’ve only seen each other through social media. And even so, Kita barely opens his.
“You seem unusually tense today captain” A breathy yet somehow familiar voice echoes through Shinsuke’s ears. “Suna” He answers back. The silver-haired faced the raven-haired middle blocker, who grew taller than he could remember. “How have you been?” he asked while giving out a soft smile.
“Just fine, Kita-san. Practice here and there, matches one day and another. Pretty sure you could remember what it’s like.”
“I think playing volleyball in high school is a whole lot different than playing pro. Nonetheless, I’m pretty sure you’ve been working hard” Shinsuke replied. “You could say that” he smirked and sat down on the stool next to him.
A couple seconds of silence and Suna speaks up once again. “Are you still avoiding him?” he bluntly asks.
And I thought I was supposed to be the straightforward one between us.
“Not like why you think I am” Kita replies after hesitation. “It’s just for the better”
Suna nodded. They have had this conversation multiple times. It was always the same answer.
Kita Shinsuke was afraid. As much as he would like to deny it, everyone around him felt that he was.
A seven-year long relationship was no joke. You grow and make tons of memories together. You share stories that involve the other half, retelling the ones that you would want to share and not keep to yourselves as your own, you see each other's failures and success, you linger enough to leave a mark that would be too hard to get rid off.
But committing to those seven-years with completely opposite lives was not as easy as everyone thought it was.
In a world of glitz and glamor that Atsumu had gotten so used to, there was Shinsuke who liked the quiet little life.
Soon, the weekly visits to the city and province went from manageable to hectic, the pressure of trying not to get in the spotlight and cause a scene became stressful, the constant reassurance of trying to make things work got less and less, until feeling love for one another was not enough anymore, and he started to wonder if seven years was really enough for them to get through a lifetime.
Kita Shinsuke had always been good at time management, so why was managing time for the love of his life started to become so difficult? Was it because Atsumu was having just as much of a hard time as he was?
And it wasn’t just the schedule anymore, it was the lifestyle in general. Kita getting attention online or Atsumu being followed by the paparazzi and fans when they’re out on dates started to become overwhelming. With the farm getting larger, and his volleyball career getting bigger, Shinsuke found it hard to keep up. As much as he tried, life just got in the way. More land meant more work, more practice and joining the league meant less time.
Atsumu still wanted it to work. He wanted to keep trying. He didn't want to let him go just like that. No. He loved him too much to give up on him. If he had allowed it, he would have given up everything for him.
He knew Shinsuke well enough though; that if he chose him over his dreams, it would’ve been a much bigger fight.
But for Atsumu, his lifelong dream was not just volleyball. And besides, that was a dream he was already living, not one that was unfulfilled. Other than the career he has now, for him, he wanted to spend a lifetime with the person that makes him wish the world would spin slower.
Much to their dismay, the relationship ended with the older’s excuse that both of them needed to learn to live on their own⎯ they needed to spend more time on themselves without worrying about the other. And even after so, Atsumu still tried. He called and called Shinsuke, asking him if they could talk. He even went to his house on a busy week just to get the chance. But Shinsuke was stubborn. He stood his foot on the ground and never gave him the answer he needed.
Was he being selfish? Others would say he is. But Kita Shinsuke was known to be very sacrificial. He puts others first and he will not second-think if he should. For Kita, ending things would mean that Atsumu would have more time to focus on volleyball instead of half of his attention being on him; someone far from the spotlight. If it’s for the best, he will do it. Even if it breaks him in the process.
“If it means anything, he’s been doing pretty well” Suna adds as he mentions how his friend and current league teammate has been getting praised for his skills more and more. Something the younger thought the older would want to hear.
“Still, I still feel like you should talk to him. For your sake too”
Shinsuke took another sip of his drink. As he emptied it, he placed it gently back on the table and gave Suna a sad smile, “Thanks for the concern Rin, but I don’t think that’s happening so soon” The latter nodded, failing at his attempt to get his friends to reconcile.
“Aran keeps yapping about how he’s been working too hard; Idiot never listens to him. As always.” Leaving out the fact of course that Atsumu has just been overworking to distract himself from the heartbreak. “Where is he anyway?” Kita asks, trying to change the subject. “Had to stay back for work. He would’ve loved to come back home for a while though. Missed ya and everyone else” Maybe could’ve helped in knocking some sense into you.
“Well tell him to come home during the weekends then, can’t have myself cheering ya on TV forever can I?” the younger one laughed at his former captain’s comment. “Or you could come to us and watch us play live. Like before.”
“I think you should catch up with Samu, he’s been talking about ya’ all week” He looks back up to see the brunette twin come out of the kitchen holding more drinks to serve. Diverting his attention from his former captain to his lover, Suna knows that the conversation has come to its end.
“Glad to know that he is” Suna smiled and stood up. “Nice catchin’ up with you again Kita-san”
Once he left, Kita was once again filled with silence. Despite the chattering and loud music, suddenly everything felt lonely. The amount of fun and joyfulness of the area didn’t measure how much Kita just wanted to go home.
Away from any possible confrontation to be specific.
But as a good friend, he couldn’t just leave Samu’s party so early, especially since his grandmother just told him how much she had missed him because she hasn’t seen him in a while (something in which is entirely his fault). So maybe some fresh air was all he needed.
So here he was out in the parking lot, sitting on a worn-out bench while looking at the night sky. Even as a kid, Shinsuke was never one for big crowds. It’s not that he hated it, he did become volleyball captain of a well-known team for him to not fully dislike it. He just felt more comfortable when there were less people around.
Something Atsumu knew all too well about him.
After catching up with his brother, grandmother, and practically half of the guests, here he was, on his way to find the one person he was so desperate to see and talk to. As soon as he entered the door earlier, he knew there was a high chance of Shinsuke being there, he just didn’t expect to see him so soon, and so off-guard by his appearance as well.
“Do you think he’d want to talk to me?” the older twin asks as he spots his ex lover out through the glass window. “Ya want me to be honest?” The voice of an old woman echoes in their conversation.Their grandmother had been listening all along. “I don’t think he’d want to,” His brother nodded in agreement.
Atsumu bit the inside of his cheek as he played with his lip, contemplating whether what his nana had said was what he feared it would be. That Shinsuke had completely given up.
“But I also think that Kita-san has been avoiding this for too long.” Asami added.
“You’re going back home tomorrow mornin’ right?” Atsumu nodded. “Then I don’t think the both of ya’ will have a better chance than tonight” the blonde continues to look at his twin who now has his arm crossed while sporting a half smile.
“And if it’s over?”
Osamu shrugs “You’ll never know unless you ask”
Asami watches the two exchange before she chimes in her last comment. “Now are you gonna walk ever there or are we both gonna keep complainin’ ‘bout how we miss having him around?”
Truth be told, and not so secretly as well, Atsumu still yearned for Shinsuke. Every second of every day since they ended. That’s why it became so hard for him to come back home because the moment he catches a glimpse of the tall trees and wide fields of his hometown, memories of them keep flooding back, and instead of healing he just keeps on relapsing. But, then again, it’s not like Atsumu actually tried to let go of his feelings. He simply let it stay and age. For the reason that he promised to love nobody else but Shinsuke.
He thinks⎯ No…..he was sure of it. They were made for each other in this lifetime. He just needed another shot to make Shin believe again that through all the odds, it’s him and him for eons.
So as the plan goes, here he was slowly walking over to the parking lot bench where his person was sitting; quietly taking in the night light and cold breeze. With his eyes closed and his breathing, Shinsuke barely even noticed a figure take place beside him.
And here he was, the muse of Kita Shinsuke’s whirlwind of emotions, sitting on his right.
The younger male had his hands on his windbreaker pockets, his gaze on the ground as his feet tapped nervously.
Nobody spoke a single word. Not one utterance was made. Uncomfortable? Maybe. Did it feel like both of them had their hearts in their mouth? Absolutely yes. Neither of them knew what to say. It’s not like a simple hello could patch up this whole situation. Because what kind of sentence do you open up with to a person you have never imagined breaking up with after spending almost a decade together?
Unable to contain his nervousness, Shinsuke got up and prepared to leave, only for Atsumu to grab his hand as he asked him to stay. “Please…don’t run away from me”
Kita felt his heart sprint. He swallowed a lump on his throat as he felt Atsumu’s smooth hands graze his own. Thank God it was dark enough to hide the anxiousness that wrecked his face.
“Let’s talk. I don’t want to keep waiting for the right moment no more”
Still avoiding the way his hand felt, Shinsuke decided to let down his stubborn walls for a bit and sat back down on his previous seat. “How should we…?” the older finally speaks.
“You’ve been avoiding me” Atsumu starts. Kita sighs in response. “I’m sorry”
“It’s just….for nearly a year, I never got an answer. Did I make it difficult for you?”
“You didn’t”
“Then why!?” frustrated and confused, Atsumu exclaims. “Was it because we both got busy? Because if it was, then you know we could’ve found a better way to make it work, right?” Shinsuke bites his lip nervously, still unable to look him in the eye. “It wasn’t just that…” With a deep inhale to gather courage he answered
“You and I, we were meant to live completely different lives. Everything that was made for me, wasn’t for you. I didn’t want to be whatever reason that holds you back”
He raised an eyebrow, “What?”
“Atsumu, you were born to be a star. It’s like the story wrote itself for you. A professional volleyball star, loved by many, who started his career young. You worked hard for this but it’s not like it was impossible in the first place. You were meant for bigger things, Atsumu.”
After registering what Kita had just said, the blonde scoffs in disbelief. “Do you truly believe that?”
With that, Shinsuke finally looks up at the younger male. “I did this to give you a chance”
“A chance at what exactly? It’s not like I started seeing other people when it happened. Not once did I think of meeting anyone else. Because for seven years and more, I have promised that it’s you or no one else…Volleyball….volleyball was one thing about me. I already got that…but Shin,”
“It’s you who made me. And I still need you.”
The former captain’s breath started to hitch. “I don’t deserve you, Tsumu” He whispers.
“Do you hear yourself?” He whispers back. By now, they are facing each other with Atsumu leaning closer to grab his cheeks. “You…you’re Kita Shinsuke for god sake. You never knew what failing grade was, you were the most reliable volleyball captain to exist, the whole team trusted you, they believed in you and what you could do because you’re just good at everything. You work hard for whatever you want to achieve, your grandmother treasured you ... .I treasure you….Your flaws, your mistakes, your weaknesses, whatever those are will never measure how utterly and wholeheartedly perfect you are to me.” Atsumu answers as he rubs his thumb across his cheek. “You think you don’t deserve me? Ask everyone in this place right now and they’d tell you that it’s the other way around.”
Kita’s eyes started to get blurry. He always hid behind a stoic facade to hide the fact that he feels emotions so deeply. He doesn’t like crying in front of people. But Atsumu was an exception.
“I’m sorry for making things hard for you…” Atsumu apologizes to which Sinsuke shakes his head in response. “You never made it hard for me”
“But I did. Not on purpose, but I did. I thought that we’ve gotten used to everything after all those years that I never asked you if you truly were okay with all that’s been going on.”
“You never would’ve known. I never showed it.”
And that’s how it’s always been with Kita. Keeping things to himself. Taking the pain alone.
“Still, as your partner, I should’ve checked in on ya’”
But Atsumu was more than willing to share that pain with himself.
Shinsuke felt a tear roll down his eye. He gave Atsumu a frown; a frown of guilt. “I’m sorry…for running away. It wasn’t my bravest moment. I’m usually more level-headed than this, but I got careless and let my emotions get to me and hurt you in the process. There is no reasonable excuse, I just…got scared.”
“Then be scared. Cuz’ I’ll be terrified with ya, Shin.’” Kita, whose hand was gripping his knees suddenly reached out to grab Atsumu’s hands which were holding his face.
“I can’t promise that I’ll find things easier from now on. It still gets overwhelming sometimes. No matter, how well-put I try to look”
“I understand. And I can’t promise that I won’t get busier. But I’ll make time for you, and I’ll prioritize you, and if it ever gets overwhelming again, don’t ever hesitate to call me”
Kita slowly scans Atsumu’s face, searching for a sign that he should do what he was about to do. “I feel like I have no right but…can I kiss you?”
“You don’t even have to ask”
Neither of them knew who took the first step, but they were both glad someone did.
Atsumu’s soft lips touch Shinsuke. For nearly a year they craved this. It felt like ages since the last. A tingling sensation ran through their bodies. Shinsuke slowly and gently grabs his lover’s hands as he deepens the kiss. Atsumu returned the gesture with a gentle urgency. His lips moving against his and his hands cups his cheeks. With passion and desperation, they broke away to take a breather. And in that moment, nothing and no one else mattered⎯ no guilt from the past nor any fear and worries of the future. Just them, in this moment; together and for a lifetime.