Work Text:
Jaemin doesn’t know what prompted him to dial. He never spoke to anyone after he and Jeno decided to take a break. Only then he realizes when he hears the call passing through and Jeno’s voice answering “Jaemin?”
He has never heard Jeno say his name for a while. And God, he missed it so bad .
“Are you crying?” Jeno asks on the other line, a hint of worry in his voice.
“No” Jaemin lies. He pulls his cover up, trying to muffle his trembling voice. “Just caught a cold. I wanted to ask how’s Minno”
Jaemin buries himself even further. He knows he keeps lying to himself. Using their dog as an excuse to check up on Jeno- to hear his voice. If only he could be honest to himself and say I miss you .
But he can’t. It was him who messed up their relationship. It was him who moved out of their shared apartment. It was him who felt the heavy burden of insecurity because he felt he wasn’t good enough for Jeno.
That Jeno deserves better than being with someone who has no achievement in life.
“He’s fine but” Jeno replies “he misses you. I miss you”
I miss you too. So bad. Yet no words come out of his mouth.
“Can I come?” Jeno asks but Jaemin could only utter a soft hum as warm tears trickle down his cheeks.
He cuts off their phone call, afraid that if it lingered he would break down.
It didn’t take long for Jeno to arrive. Jaemin hears the sound of unlocking the door and the soft rustle that only Jeno would do. Jeno had always been careful and he would still be on top of Jaemin’s list whom he could trust his life to. That is why he gave him a spare key.
And when they finally lock eyes, Jaemin realizes how he messed up so badly.
Maybe it was supposed to be left unspoken. Something that both of them will have to eventually figure out. But the way Jeno’s eyes lingered on Jaemin, as if words won’t come out of his mouth, makes Jaemin think of all the good possibilities if he could just be honest to himself.
Yet, Jeno remained at his side, unmoving.
Jaemin could see the hesitation painted right at Jeno’s brown orbs. The awkward flutter of his lashes and the faint part on his lips.
Jaemin knows Jeno is in deep thought.
He knows, because he loved this man for so long.
And he still does.
Jeno finally moves, taking Jaemin’s cold fingers that so bravely dialed his number in his most vulnerable moment. Jeno kisses each of them softly, as if telling Jaemin a silent promise of reassurance he regretfully never conveyed properly while they were together.
“If I stay, will you never let go?”