Work Text:
The ground reaches out to catch me
Softly in her baseball mitt
I’m tired of the dirt and grit
I want something soft
- Dying Star by Ashnikko ft. Ethel Cain
Harrowhark Nonagesimus did not drink. This was a fact well known by everyone in her life. She did not drink because she was an incredible lightweight or, at least, that’s what Gideon assumed. Harrow did not drink, but here she is, absolutely hammered, on the couch playing with Ianthe Tridentarius’ long, pallid hair.
Gideon Nav was not a jealous person, really, she wasn’t. She wasn’t jealous when she saw Coronabeth grinding on Judith Dueteros of all people at Cam and SexPal’s Christmas party last year. She wasn’t jealous when she first saw Dulcie’s eyes light up as Palamades talked about his recent research project years ago. And she definitely wasn’t jealous watching Harrow fawn all over Ianthe like she wasn’t a giant ball of skank. She just didn’t know why she felt like her heart was beating out of her chest.
“You’re staring,” said Camilla as the orange ping pong ball landed swiftly into their opponent’s cup.
“Yeah, because it’s disgusting. Look at them, they might as well get a room at this point,” Gideon sighed. She wasn’t even interested in playing the game anymore.
“You know, you can just tell her-”
“Cam,” Gideon interrupted, not wanting to acknowledge the feelings that were definitely not jealousy. “I’m going to go get another drink, beat their asses for me.”
As she walked into the kitchen, she thought she saw Harrow start to get up. Ignoring it, she grabbed a red plastic cup and filled it with water. In all honesty, she hated the parties thrown by the Tridentarii as they weren’t meant for any sober person. The music was migraine-inducing and there were generally too many bodies bouncing around. Gideon had really only come because of the way Coronabeth’s violet eyes looked as she begged, and at that point there was no telling her no.
“Hi Griddle,” Harrow slurred, scaring the shit out of Gideon.
“Fuck, Harrow! You can’t sneak up on people like that.”
“Sorry,” Harrow said, rubbing her face. “Griddle, I think I’m drunk,” She said matter-of-factly.
Gideon laughed. “No shit, gloom mistress! You ready to bounce? I’m honestly kinda done with this.” Harrow nodded, letting Gideon grab her hand. Her palm was cold and a little clammy as it slipped into Gideon’s larger one. Ignoring the feeling of sparks, she waved goodbye to Cam who winked back.
As they walked to the car, Gideon felt the tiny gremlin pull closer to her, resting her head on Gideon’s bicep. “Griddle, you’re so strong. So strong and so handsome, ” she said sleepily. Gideon’s stomach turned and she felt a blush spread across her cheeks. This was different from their normal barbed insults. Harrow seldom said anything like this to Gideon and she could hardly remember the last time Harrow was drunk enough to fucking compliment her. Gideon figured she must have tried the Tridentarii’s infamous jungle juice.
The moment was interrupted by Harrow throwing up on Gideon’s boots.
Back at their apartment, Gideon sat Harrow on the couch, going to their small shared kitchen to grab her a glass of water.
“Here my melancholy monarch, sip this while I start you a bath.” Harrow hummed and pulled her knees against her chest, silently taking a small sip from the glass.
While she let the water fill the tub, Gideon debated on going into Harrow’s room to grab her a set of clothes to change into. However, she was seldom allowed to enter the gremlins room, even on a good day, so she grabbed a random t-shirt and the smallest pair of sweats she could find. It would have to do. She dropped the clothes onto the counter in the bathroom and turned the faucet off when it reached a high enough level.
Gideon walked back into the living room to find Harrow having finished the glass of water. “Your bath is ready, m’lady,” she said, reaching out her hand to help Harrow stand. As she went to leave the bathroom, Harrow grabbed her wrist, Gideon’s brain coming to a screeching halt.
“Will you stay with me?” Her dark eyes pleading. Gideon swallowed thickly and nodded. Harrow nodded, letting go of her hand and moved to remove her black turtleneck and skirt. Gideon averted her eyes, not wanting to deal with sober Harrow’s anger of seeing her bare. She waited until she heard the sounds of Harrow settle into the water, thankfully Gideon was smart and put lavender scented foam into the bath that covered the smaller girl from the neck down. Gideon lifted herself onto the bathroom counter and awkwardly fiddled with the strings of her hoodie. She looked over at Harrow as she leaned her head against the lip of the tub, closing her eyes. She had never seen Harrow look so calm, the crease between her eyebrows disappeared and her usual deep set frown softened. She looked so…soft. Gideon wished she could stay in this moment forever.
A few moments passed and Gideon walked into the hallway to let Harrow get dressed. Gideon’s heart thundered inside her chest when Harrow stepped out wearing Gideon’s Canaan U hoodie that was basically a dress on her. Gideon had never seen Harrow look so…small. She was used to seeing the younger girl in her signature all black, platform boots, and sharp eyeliner. Seeing the Harrow barefaced and drowning in Gideon’s clothes–- Gideon’s clothes!!-- was incredibly different to the Harrow fresh out of Drearburh. Those days had been difficult to say the least. They didn’t talk about those days much.
“Alright bone empress, I think it’s time to get you to bed,” Gideon said, watching Harrow rub her tired eyes. Harrow nodded but was hesitant. Gideon tilted her head, confused. “You ok over there?”
Black, bottomless eyes met amber and Gideon shuddered. Either she was going crazy or Harrow seemed bashful. The tips of her ears looked flush as she fiddled with the sleeve of Gideon’s oversized hoodie. Eventually, Harrow spoke. “Can I stay with you tonight?” Gideon froze, not knowing how to respond. What if Harrow woke up angry that she let her do such a thing? Gideon couldn’t deal with an enraged Harrow after seeing her like the way she was now, standing in the dark hallway outside the bathroom.
“Harrow, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want you to wake up un-”
“I promise that won’t happen,” Harrow interrupted. “ I’m a little loose-lipped but I know what I’m doing.” Gideon’s heart stopped. God, at this rate she’d need to call SexPal to drive her to the hospital.
“Ok, yeah…yeah, that’s…ok,” She stammered, leading Harrow to her bedroom. Contrary to popular belief, Gideon was something of a neat freak. It had always stressed her out when her things weren't where she remembered them. Harrow practically belly flopped onto Gideon’s perfectly made bed, letting out a tired hum and slowly getting under the covers. Gideon froze in the doorway, stunned. She honestly didn’t know how to react to having Harrow in her personal space. Sure, they had lived together since they were children back in Drearburh, but that was different. After a beat Gideon finally left the doorway, closing the door softly behind her and walking blindly to her dresser to find some sweats to wear to bed. After she changed, she gently lifted the covers and laid down next to Harrow, trying to keep some space between them.
After what felt like an eternity, Gideon felt Harrow scoot closer, rolling onto her side to look at Gideon, their eyes meeting. “Gideon,” she whispered like it was a secret, “can I tell you something?” Gideon nodded. “I really want to kiss you right now.” And Gideon’s heart stopped. All of the feelings she’d pushed down and swore didn’t exist were rising from deep inside her. Harrowhark Nonagesimus was going to be the death of her. “But,” Harrow continued, “I don’t think right now would be a good idea. So can I trust you to remind me tomorrow?”
Gideon nodded, almost breaking her neck in the process. Thank god she had Palamades on speed dial, she might be needing that ride to the hospital soon. “Of course,” she whispered, clasping Harrow’s cold hand between hers and holding it against her sternum, against her beating heart. Harrow shuffled to put her head against Gideon’s shoulder. Gideon’s arm wrapped itself around lithe shoulders, and the small girl promptly fell asleep, Gideon following moments later.
Gideon Nav woke up the next morning, overjoyed. She had a girl to finally kiss.