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When he was still a boy, he dreamed of walking among the stars, freeing the slaves of Tatooine and everywhere else. Like the great dragon beneath the sands. The dragon from which all krayt dragons awoke to defy the slave owners and live freely - symbols of hope. The dragon that would one day awaken and bring widespread freedom. Like Ekkreth who would come one day to bring relief from the burning twin suns. Who would bring rain and freedom. He dreamed that often, for that was his only escape from the chip in his neck. A chip that would disrupt the electrical pulses that kept his heart going. A chip that would kill him, and maybe those around him. A boy could dream, a boy could hope. Even if it was far from his reach.
Now here he was, a decade and some later. He was strong in the Force. He was a warrior, a hero with no fear. He was free. He still had his boyhood dream, but it was broken. Nothing like what it used to be. He dreamed of doing great things, of being revered among the stars of the Jedi. Yet, why did he still a feel like that little slave-boy in Tatooine? Why did he feel like the stars were out of reach no matter how big his dream was?
Then one day, things happened. Mortis. A place hidden in the Galaxy. Not like Kamino, which was only erased from the Archives and the HoloNet. Mortis was nowhere to be found in any database. Nor will it ever be found. It was a Force nexus, yet none of either the dark or light side found it. It was the home of the personifications of the Force. The Light, the Dark, the Shadow in between. It was the Force all together, swirling in an ebb of colors. White, black, green, red, shades of grey.
A distress call was the official reason in the reports. But it was something that they all knew was just for them. He, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka. For Obi-Wan, it was a feeling. For Ahsoka, it was a sound. For him, it was a current. They chased it only to find they were chasing their demons down an empty road. A road that was everything and nothing. They escaped the warring world outside, the shadows of a future unknown, to find the same on this planet.
They were separated. Even though he could not physically hear them calling, he felt it in his heart, howling from afar. He sensed the desires of the Father and the Daughter, but he could not see himself like them. The Son, in all his darkness and selfishness. No matter what was drilled into him, he never could shake the darkness of his childhood. Nor could he abandon that selfish determination to live. He just couldn’t. The Son showed him his future. The future that would happen if he changed nothing. His fears was his future. A future he did not want. He had time. Time to change.
There were questions, and there were answers. When he was finally reunited with his master and padawan, they looked at him with tired eyes and broken smiles. They knew just as well as he did that the world they were in now, the world beyond Mortis, was not the world they grew up in. It was not the world they all had in mind. He dreamed of freedom. His master dreamed of peace. His padawan dreamed of harmony.
He rarely looked at himself in the mirror, before or after. But if he looked and looked closely, he would have seen the shadows grow larger behind him in the shape of the leathery wings of a gargoyle. He would have seen red details in his outfit and red lightening crackling from his fingertips.
In the end, they knew what happened, but they left it untold. In the written report, to each other. In the months following, he dreamed of that mystical world. Grey mountains under a waning light. Chasing falling golden stars. He’d dream of a galaxy that could be. Full of life. The wishful dreams of a slave boy.
No, he was a man now. Dreams like that could never become a reality. The dark grimness of reality. He was stuck on answers he could not find. But they were within reach. He knew it. He still had time. He’ll make a difference. He’ll show them. He would build a different world.
She was sixteen. They knew what happened when they crash landed on that planet. They didn’t tell her what happened. Something happened to her though. She felt more alive, especially when she actively used the Force to bolster her own abilities. Sounds thrummed through her montrals more strongly, her jumps seemed more like flights, and telekinesis felt more natural. And sometimes, when she looked at herself in the mirror, feathery golden wings shimmered from her.
The Force was now more than just a symphony of sounds. There were colors. Swirling around everything. It was bright and beautiful, even against the raging darkness around her. Even her eyes were a different color. They were once blue, like the twilight sky. Now, there was a tint of green, like the ocean that sang her to sleep.
There was something else. Something that she saw only in her dreams, a taste of memories. Something inside her. A seed of darkness. She chased those dreams, those memories, down an empty road. And when she stopped to look around her in the Force, she felt the galaxy around her turn to dust. Not a memory from the past. A whisper of the future. She escaped the horrors of the dreaming world to see the tragedies of the waking world. A world she never had in mind. Yet she resolved to cling to those shaky memories, that black seed. A reminder of reality – there must be darkness for there to be light.
They were back from that mission. Again, she should be sleeping. Floating in the Light that surrounded the Temple. But she couldn’t. Instead she sat on the rooftop. She stared at the skyline of Coruscant. Skyscrapers as far as the eye can see. The ever-present hum from the speeders and transports. Smoke from the manufacturing sector. She dove into the melody. Metal, chatter from millions of people, mechanical clicks. The hushed tears of suffering, the gloating laughter of moneymakers. The wails of the forgotten, the dirge of the dead. The flow of life now. It used to have the merry tinkling of joy, the innocent laughter of children, and the steady drum of peace. Now, on top of the sounds, she saw the colors. Black sheets, red ribbons. Shreds of a tapestry. There was a shroud of death all around them. She wondered what it was like before the war. She’ll never know. If she lived to the end, if she lived beyond the end, maybe she’ll see a glimpse of what this planet looked like before the war.
“You alright, Snips?” the rough, sleepy voice of her master asked her. The ocean inside him had been so tumultuous that she even found it hard to sleep around him. He smiled brokenly at her.
“Yes, master,” she answered quietly. She was sure her eyes reflected the weariness of her soul. She could feel his longing heart. He was longing for something more than she or anyone else could give. He laid his hand on her shoulder. It was a heavy touch. Instead of going back to their shared quarters, he sat down next to her.
She recalled their first days as master and padawan. The first days of the war. They were still full of life, then. But here they were now. Less life in them, but still alive. She wanted to go back in time to those happier days. Something happened that made the world it became. Something that she felt her master would be involved in. Looking at the past or the future would leave her stuck on answers she couldn’t find. She may have lost tonight, and the nights before, but she had time. There was the here and now. Here, her master, herself, Master Obi-Wan, the clones, and many more. People she loved, people he loved. Now, a lull between storms as life and love flowed in colorful ribbons against the black backdrop of their world.