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Childe’s heart jumped the moment he laid eyes on her; her styled, golden fluffy hair complementing her bright white and baby blue summer dress. It floated breezily just above her knees when she twirled to face the entrance of the elevator.

She took out her phone and popped bubblegum in her mouth, and her bright, shimmering eyes somehow made the dull elevator light flattering. She held a bag of groceries in one arm and was scrolling through something with the other, eyes lazily flickering over her iPhone 13 screen with a clear phone case, through which Childe can see a polaroid picture of a field of white flowers.

He was, frankly, looking quite beautiful himself. Orange dress shirt tucked into well-fitted gray work pants, his suit jacket perfectly disheveled after a long day at work. That was why, without a moment of hesitancy, not a second to be self-conscious, he entered flirt mode.

“Need any help?” he offered with his best slightly-flirtatious-but-mostly-gentlemanly smile.

“Huh?” She looked up from her phone, eyes meeting his, and wow.

He let his eyelids lower just a bit and he tilted his head, just slightly, bringing his smile to his eyes. She didn’t seem to react. Strange, that usually worked. It was always the subtle gestures, the way one could make themselves slightly more attractive than before… maybe she didn’t take subtle hints. No worries, Childe liked a challenge.

“With your groceries, girlie,” he explained with an offering hand.

“Oh, no, I’m fine.” She hoisted the paper bag up higher on her hip, looking back at her phone.

The elevator passed another floor and the doors opened, but Childe wouldn’t get off at his stop. No, he was going wherever she was.

“Strange,” Childe noted. “Elevator opening on a random floor. Like fate’s giving us more time to talk.”

“I don’t believe in fate,” she quipped.

“Believe in love at first sight?” he asked slyly.

“Occasionally.” She looked back up at him. “It depends.”

“On what?” Childe asked with a flirtatious grin, leaning ever-so-slightly closer.

She looked him up and down, and Childe kept his cool, never faltering his smile, even biting his lip a bit when he noticed she was observing his face. Her eyes flicked back to her phone for a second, then she turned it off. Success, he’s more interesting than her phone!

“I take it back,” she said.

Oh, shit, it was working. He thought this would be harder. Next thing she’ll say is—

“I don’t believe in it,” she yawned and looked ahead as the elevator doors opened. “Because stranger danger.”

—she did believe in it after seeing Chi- wait what?

“Need me to walk by again?” he offered with a smirk. “So you can catch another first sight? It might change your mind.”

She offered him a clearly fake smile and then stepped out of the elevator.

“Strangers are only friends you haven’t met,” he quickly recovered.

She turned around, right outside the elevator doors, appraising him over again, a bit more interested this time.

“True, astute observation,” she nodded. “Probably the smartest thing you’ve said so far, and it was pretty basic, but I’ll take it.”

Childe kept a cool exterior, but what the hell did that mean? Was she into him or not? That was clearly very backhanded, maybe it was accidental, though?

“I’m Lumine,” she said as the doors began to close.

“Childe,” he replied. “Catch ya later.”

“If fate allows it.” She smirked as the doors shut and the elevator jerked downward.

He grinned. Oh, she was playing hard to get, very hard. Childe loved it, loved her for it, and was ready to rev up second player.

—

Turns out, she wasn’t even taken. After a stroll through a popular shopping street in Los Angeles’ sunny weather, offering her a breakfast, catching her after work nearly every day, and eventually hanging out in her apartment where she wrecked him at video games (god he was so in love with this girl), they’d exchanged numbers.

He’d dressed his best every time they went out. Tightest dress shirt, some nice casual yet expensive pants, hair tousled in his styled way. He knew he looked positively dashing, and she did too. He was so sure she was smitten with him, hopefully as much as he is with her.

Childe collapsed onto his bed and let out a tiny squeal of joy. Of course, a manly one, duh. As he lay in it, he stared at his phone, propping his chin up on his large designer blanket, staring at her number in her contacts. He named her Lumi💗 with a grin.

He rolled over onto his side, setting his phone down and entering professional mode. Even though he was growing closer with the love of his life, he still had work for the bank. Taking his pristine white laptop, he sat straight up against his bed frame after using his remote to close the blinds on Cali’s landscape.

After a few hours of—not his best work, because his mind was endlessly wandering back to Lumine—diligent work, he took a break and stared at his ceiling, a gentle smile on his face. Maybe his life would finally end up beautiful, after all.

Things had never worked out for him… except for this. He knew it. He and Lumine were meant to be.

Two days later, they’re in the elevator, Childe’s uniform sexily messed up after handling some particularly rude people at the bank, and Lumine wearing another of her bright summer dresses that breezily hung over her long legs and framed her waist with no mercy.

“Do you wanna go out?” Childe asked after they’d been laughing at some dumb joke.

Instantly the mood was switched. Her smile faded quickly, eyes blinking, and slowly he felt his own face collapse. She cleared her throat.

“Childe…” she faced him with a pitying look. “I’m sorry–”

“No, no, it’s just too soon, it’s fine, I’m really sorry,” Childe brushed it off, bringing a forced smile. “I can be kind of arrogant and just thought maybe it was soon enough.”

“No, Childe,” Lumine shook her head, and the elevator was only a few seconds from her floor. “There won’t… no, I don’t think we can ever be a couple.”

“Oh,” Childe looked to his feet.

“Hey, it’s not you,” Lumine recovered, grabbing Childe’s hands and holding them both close. “Childe, I thought you knew. I’m lesbian.”

It was like Childe’s entire world was falling apart. The apartment building exploded at the foundations, and in a domino effect, all of California collapsed in on itself; mountains and ocean colliding.

“I’m sorry,” Childe said quietly, meeting her gaze. “I just… I thought like a man, I just assumed you’d like me back because… God, I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are,” Lumine smiled sweetly. “But you’re possibly the most hilarious, charismatic, frankly kind of insane but in a platonically endearing way, handsome idiot I’ve ever met.”

“You can’t say those things, Lumi,” Childe shook his head. “You don’t understand how it messes with my heart.”

“You’re strong, you can take it,” Lumine patted his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I thought you were perceptive enough to tell.”

“A backhanded compliment to ease the pain,” Childe chuckled without humor.

“I’m not good at this stuff,” Lumine sighed.

“Like me, I guess,” Childe shuddered, trying to keep himself together.

“Hey, if I were to date any man, I’d date you. We have so much in common. We’re both shitty at relationships and kinda stupid, though you’re worse.” She let go of Childe’s shoulder, hearing the elevator doors open.

Childe laughed genuinely. “Yeah, true, as evidenced by all of this.”

“See ya around,” she waved, stepping out of the elevator.

“Yeah,” Chide whispered to himself as the elevator began its descent to his place.

—

“If only you saw what I can see, you’d understand why I want you so desperately,” Childe sang sadly as One Direction blasted in his car. “Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe you don’t know-oh-oh. You don’t know you’re beautiful.”

Do people normally cry to One Direction?

Childe assumed not as he banged his forehead on the steering wheel, giving up on singing and succumbing to his misery. The palm trees were brushed gently with a light wind, sun blessing the city just enough for a parasol but not too much so the sidewalk burns.

He should have taken the day off from work. He can’t imagine clocking into his shift, handling all those annoying ass people who wanted their money back for whatever reason, and he was definitely not in the mood for debt collection.

His coworkers noticed. Ekaterina, who’d always avoided him because he ended up causing drama, sent him an almost worried look as he slammed his office door behind him. Vlad watched suspiciously as Childe was tight and strict with everyone he talked to. Even the manager, Andrei, had to come down and got a look at his assigned executive, seeing him in such a distressed and angry state.

Worse, Childe didn’t know what to be angry at. Himself? Yes. Lumine? No, that’s unfair. But hell, he just kept feeling resentment towards her. She could’ve told him! Yeah, it was her fault—no, it wasn’t, that’s unfair as shit and he knows it.

He went home and took the stairs to his apartment, thrusting his work bag onto the floor, not bothering to open it and take a look at whatever had made that shattering sound the moment it hit his baseboard.

He spent an hour sulking around until he got a phone call from Lumi💗. He sighed. He was going to ignore her, that was his plan. But he was a gentleman, goddamit, and he wasn’t going to make her feel bad about being lesbian.

“Hi,” he said into the phone, not realizing his voice was so sore.

“Hey.” Lumine sounded pretty normal, like nothing had changed. “I just got the new Mario game and I’m totally stuck. Get your ass over here.”

“Sorry, I–”

“Stop,” Lumine interrupted. “I know you’re probably wallowing around because I’m not made by the stars to be yours. But we’re friends, right? I still want to be friends. So don’t make some stupid excuse and come be my friend. I know you probably have some deep feelings for me because I have to admit, I’m pretty great, and I know it’ll take a while to get rid of them. Bottling them up won’t help. You don’t have any friends so let me help you through it and we can forget it ever happened.”

“Just because we live in LA doesn’t mean you have to write a script for everything,” Childe sighed.

“I made that up on the spot, you bitch,” Lumine chuckled. “Now get your pathetic ass up here now or cry in the dark with self-pity for the rest of your life. You know the latter will just make us both sad.”

“I’m on my way.” Childe rolled off his bed lazily and onto his feet.

“Now that I know you’re helpless for me I understand why you dress so fancy,” Lumine added. “Don’t, no need to impress me. Dress like you normally would and we can have a good time.”

Childe paused on his way to the closet, pivoted, and walked to his dresser across the room where he kept his casual clothes.

“Cya,” she called, and then hung up right after.

Childe put on a casual T-shirt and some sweatpants, feeling suddenly nervous. Would she like him without his styled hair and fitted shirts? No, it didn’t matter. She would never like him like that. Shaking his head, he forced a smile until it turned real.

“No point in wallowing,” he insisted. “Move on, Childe. You’re a beast and a playboy and never dwell on such things.”

That was a lie, because playboys actually got girls.

So the next week goes smoothly. They hung out often, just like before, and they acted just as they had, except Childe tried less hard to impress her. The tight feeling in his chest and the butterflies slowly faded as he came to realize the reality. Lumine was his closest friend.

A month later and they’d hit up a few nightclubs, and beat a few Nintendo games. He felt completely normal around her.

“Oh, she’s got that smile,” Lumine fell onto her own couch, next to Childe, who’d been casually snacking on her pickle stash. “I would die for her smile.”

The first few times Lumine had ranted about a hot girl, it had reminded Childe of how he’d felt about her. Now, the pang in his heart dissipated and all he did was tease and laugh at her without a care.

“Should I ask her out? No, I’ve never even talked to her,” Lumine shook her head.

“Then ask her out platonically,” Childe offered. “Just offer to help with work, or tell her you have an extra ticket to the theater.”

“If I had an extra ticket, I’d invite you,” Lumine grinned.

“So sweet,” Childe rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“No, I wouldn’t. God she’s so hot,” Lumine’s grin widened as she laughed. “Man, ranting is boring if you don’t rant too.”

“What do you mean?” Childe asked, taking another pickle out of the jar with great effort.

“There’s nobody you like?” Lumine asked. “It’s been a while, and you’re the type to pull ‘em all.”

“Nobody’s interested in me,” Chlide sighed dramatically. “Ekaterina’s a bitch, even if she’s hot, beacuse she treats me like any other guy and gives me dumb assignments. Nadia’s… weird. I think she’s taken? No idea. I can’t date customers, and the rest of the people in his place are all old!”

“Childe, let me test a theory,” she leaned over the arm rest across Childe’s chest, comically grabbing for her phone. Settling back in her original position leaned against his shoulder, she opened her phone and photo app. “Look at this girl.”

She opened a selfie of her and the blue haired girl, Ayaka, she’d been ranting about for the past few days. Childe felt a soft flutter in her chest. Man, she was beautiful. No wonder Lumine was totally smitten.

“Now look at her brother.”

She flipped through her images, and Childe caught a few of himself among them. She finally landed on a photo of her, Ayaka, and Ayaka’s brother. The fluttery feeling came right back as his eyes widened on the brother.

“Feel anything?” Lumine asked.

“No,” Childe quickly denied.

“C’mon, Ayato’s hella hot,” Lumine shook her head with a smile. “I see your blush.”

“But, he’s…”

“Childe, you’re so delusional.” Lumine closed her phone and set it aside. “Do you ever think that maybe no girls will date you because you look at boys the same way? Because they look at you and assume you’re a chaotic sexy gay?”

“What? I’m not,” Childe blinked and waved his hands in denial, nearly dislodging his balanced pickle jar.

“Dude. The only reason I allowed you to get close to me was because I thought you were gay,” Lumine admitted.

“I don’t look gay, not at all.” Childe hastily suffed his hand back into the pickle jar and avoided meeting her eyes.

“Styled toussled hair, tight dress shirts with the top few buttons undone, those casual-but-not-suit pants, the way you walk and run. I caught you watching that shirtless guy at the beach–”

“I can appreciate a good body!”

“–not to mention your music tastes. What straight guy listens to Jonas Brothers and Harry Styles constantly? And One Direction and Maroon 5? You’re an absolute bisexual menace,” Lumine finished. “Now either dress more straight so girls don’t run away, or go after boys too.”

—

He went over her words over and over. At work, he’d send extra looks at Vlad, at Andrei, and even at Mr. Qi. He noticed, now with Lumine’s words in his head, that Andei’s love for scenery and devotion to the bank was actually cute. Vlad’s smirks that reached his eyes. Mr. Qi was a customer so Childe didn’t try observing or anything, but still.

It was like he was wearing a new lens.

“You’ve had the feelings all along, you just haven’t admitted it until now,” Lumine said over the phone while Childe called her during his lunch break.

“Huh,” Childe lifted his feet and relaxed them atop his desk, leaning back into his chair and twiddling with a pen in his free hand.

“Are any of them staring at you?” Lumine asked and he could sense her grin.

“Nah,” Childe shook his head. “Everyone here is unappreciative of my superior sexiness.”

“Well, you are searching at work,” Lumine pointed out. “Wanna hit up a gay bar?”

“Hell yeah, I haven’t gone to a bar in way too long,” Childe grinned. “Are gay bars for losers or hot singles?”

“Both. We’ll see,” Lumine answered. “Bring your hot outfit. The one with the blue shirt and your hair clip. Add some wacky socks and they’ll be all over you.”

“Check and check. Anything else?”

“Just your personality, babe.”

—

Childe and Lumine continued attempting romance for another week and both failed to make any romantic progress. Lumine even tried to set Childe up with Ayato, but turned out Ayato was helpless for some blond instead.

“Ugh,” Childe burst into Lumine’s apartment with his spare key, flopping across her lap on the couch.

“So real,” Lumine commented, not flinching, still focused on watching anime on her TV.

“Dude, why’d you have to enlighten me? Can I go back to being straight and then only have to be heartbroken by half the population?” Childe pleaded.

“See it like this: You’re bi, so you have double the options and double the chances,” Lumine offered with a smile.

“Yeah but nobody really has that connection,” Childe closed his eyes, head facing up at the ceiling, a hand draped over his forehead. “I’ve met so many girls and guys and they’re all so uninterested because they think I’m crazy.”

“Well, you do occasionally come back to the building bloody,” Lumine noted.

“True, but like, someone has to find that sexy,” Childe ran his fingers through his perfectly fluffy hair. “You find it sexy.”

“I’m kind of unhinged sometimes.” Lumine popped some popcorn into her mouth.

“I need a positively delusional psychopath who I can come home to and’ll stitch me up then kiss me until I collapse,” Childe said. “But they have to like beach dates because those are the best.”

“So you want someone who doesn’t mind you having a kind of crazy job guarding and running a Russian bank that’s probably half spies, but also likes cutesy beach dates?”

“Yeah,” Childe nodded, opening his eyes again and sitting up off of Lumine’s lap, adjusting to look at the TV. “Dude, are you watching Sasaki to Miyano?”

“Hell yes I am,” Lumine grinned.

—

Two days later, Childe was out ‘debt collecting’ when he received a call from Lumine. Lumine never calls, so it had to be important. He quickly put his pistol away and told the people he was intimidating to shut up and sit still. They nodded in fear and watched as the scary Russian took out his phone and responded with;

“Heyyy girl!”

They gawked. What the hell. This guy was just threatening their little gang’s lives if they didn’t hand over the owed money, and now he’s talking like that– Childe noticed their looks and fired a warning shot at their feet, all three of them yelping and hiding behind a table.

“Was that a gunshot?” Lumine asked.

“Yeah,” Childe picked at his nails.

“Meh, whatever,” Lumine sounded like she was out of breath, and after a moment she swallowed and took a deep breath. “Okay. Listen, you lucky shit. I just saved your ass.”

“Lay it all out.” Childe casually sat down in a half-broken chair he’d knocked a guy out with earlier. He glanced back at the gang members and sent them a glare to ensure their silence.

“Dude. The hottest guy ever just appeared out of nowhere like a Pokémon in a park. Like, tall, long brown hair but slightly gold on the end; I don’t even know how he’s so hot. If I was straight I’d dive at him across the lobby and kiss his feet. I just saw him in the elevator,” Lumine gushed.

“Oh my god,” Childe grinned.

“Okay so you know how I work at the travel agency downtown?” Lumine continued, breath caught up and her tea-spilling voice turning on. “I was on my way home and some bitch jumped me.”

“No way, you good?” Childe gasped.

“I’m fine. But it was in that alley between the agency and that wacky oddly-specific shoelace shop, you know? And I was on my way back after giving him the finger and beating his ass—”

“Girlboss.”

The gang members looked at each other and Childe fired another warning shot.

“Stop firing that loud ass gun while I’m talking, you whore!” Lumine interrupted herself.

“Sorry, I know, gunshots through phones sound so distorted,” Childe leaned back in the chair casually.

“Anyway, I was in the elevator when hottie shows up, and he’s so gentlemanly. He asks if I’m okay, because like, I’ve got this mugger’s blood on my fists. I said I’m fine and he didn’t question it further at all, like totally chill. Then we talked about the view from the building and he got off at your floor with this like etherial grace,” Lumine finished.

“My floor?” Childe squeaked. “And he didn’t care about your bloodiness?! Is he my soulmate?”

“I didn’t talk long enough but gawd, he’s hot. I think he’s more of the serious type, though, not some unhinged psychopath,” Lumine tutted sadly.

“That’s fine,” Childe shrugged. “He sounds perfect otherwise. Thanks so much for the info.”

“Blowing kisses,” Lumine signed off and hung up.

“Sorry guys, this totally sexy man just showed up at my building.” Childe stored his phone away and approached his ‘clients’. They were all huddled against the wall, and Childe approached them until he was only a few inches away with a bright smile on his face. “Crazy, right?”

“R-right,” the man in front of him stammered.

—

Childe went home that night and took a long shower, trying to calm himself. There was no way some hot guy lived right on his floor! He was giddy with excitement. There were many hot gay guys in LA, but none lived in his sad apartment building.

Putting his bloody uniform in a clear plastic bag and slipping on some casual outfit, he stepped outside with a yawn, walking slowly down the hallway, on his way to the dryer and washing machine in the basement.

After a minute of walking, Childe looked up from his phone and physically lurched to a stop, feet planting themselves with no sign of moving in the near future.

“Hello.” It was the hot guy. Childe realized that when Lumine said she’d lick his feet if she were straight, she was not kidding. Holy shits.

He was wearing what Childe would call a jacket, but it was long, kind of like a trench coat. His hair was long and slightly ginger at the end, like Lumine had mentioned. He wore tall, formal boots and held an air of authority about him. He wore a white dress shirt tucked into his fancy brown work pants.

Childe was wearing a blue hoodie and some black too-big sport pants he’d found on his floor.

“Hi,” Childe replied simply, voice a bit high.

He didn’t know where the flirt in him went at that moment, but he was hiding well in the back of his mind. Childe stared in awe, unable to think of any smart remarks when his neighbor was standing before him. He was just so perfect.

“I was just going to greet all my neighbors, but it seems you caught me before I reached your place,” he smiled, not eyeing the bag of bloodied clothes. “My name’s Zhongli.”

The lighting, which was frankly usually shit, was playing tricks on Zhongli’s face; illuminating his eyes, gently brushing his hair with the glow of the setting sun through the window down the hall, which was supposed to be gross and uncleaned but for some reason chose that moment to serve its purpose. The sun outlined his features so well that Childe nearly forgot that life wasn’t a movie.

“I’m Tartaglia,” Childe said.

Childe knew he should have introduced himself using his normal nickname, but for some reason he felt he might implode if Zhongli called him by it, so gave his legal, much more formal one instead.

“Were you heading to the laundry area?” Zhongli’s perfectly chiseled head tilted in adorable curiosity.

“Yup,” Childe nodded, still finding himself lacking in any witty responses, blushing a bit at his stupid behavior. He should not have been responding in one-word sentences when such an opportunity was before him, but he couldn’t bring himself to think.

“Would you mind showing me the way? I’m afraid I’ve yet to explore the place and will need to reach the washing machine tomorrow morning.” Zhongli smiled gently.

“Of course, I’ve lived here a while, so,” Childe tried to say casually.

“Lead the way, then,” Zhongli walked closer and stood beside Childe.

The two walked in silence for a while. Childe was about to open his phone to pretend to be busy, but shook his head and kept it in his pocket, knowing he should be conversing with the hottest man ever to exist who was standing beside him.

They made it to the elevator and Childe pressed the button for the basement. The two stood about two feet apart in the compact space. Childe gathered up his emotions and bundled them together before mentally burning them to a crisp, calming himself to his usual cool, flirtatious self.

With the initial shock of such a random and embarrassing encounter (his hoodie was stained with hot dog grease, and when he realized, he nearly ran and jumped out the window) gone, his brain started working once more.

“So,” Childe cleared his throat and looked at Zhongli with a friendly smile. “Where’d you live before this?”

“Shanghai, China,” Zhongli replied. “What about you, Tartaglia? I’m hearing something of an accent.”

“Yeah, I’m from Novosibirsk, Russia, but have lived here for a decade,” Childe said. Usually at this point, he’d offer a flirtatious grin, but this time he got too lost in Zhongli’s eyes to even think about it.

“Yet you have an Italian name?” Zhongli asked, not judgingly.

“Not all of our names can be as gorgeous and fitting as yours,” Childe replied smoothly and casually.

“I did not say yours does not fit you.” Zhongli shook his head with a smile. “And I find it quite handsome.”

It was strange. Nobody had ever rendered him so fluttery, so warm inside. But he wasn’t necessarily nervous. He felt a smile grow on his face as he realized that Zhongli’s compliment made him feel appreciated and joyful.

For the rest of the elevator ride, Childe simply smiled to himself. Zhongli was watching Childe, he knew. He could feel it. It made Childe bite the inside of his lip to keep himself from smiling even more. A few seconds later, the door opened, and the two men stepped off.

Childe led Zhongli along the ugly corridor. Well-kept, sure, by the janitors, but not furnished like the rest of the apartment. Despite the wooden floors, the walls were cement bricks, painted an old green, so the hallway still gave off basement vibes.

“The washing machines and driers are for communal use, but you have to bring your own detergent,” Childe explained, emptying his back into an open machine and dumping his own detergent in.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Zhongli nodded thankfully when Childe looked back at him.

“You can use mine whenever you like, just knock on my door and ask,” Childe offered. “I’m room 538.”

“I’d love to take up that offer,” Zhongli replied and Childe felt warm again.

“Uh, you know how to work these, right?” Childe was unsure if he should teach Zhongli how.

“I usually handwash,” came his reply.

“Alright well, get over here,” Childe waved him over.

Zhongli walked over, inches apart from Childe as they peered over the top-loading washing machine, heads even closer than their shoulders to see the tiny numbers and dials.

“These things are ancient bastards,” Childe began with a little chuckle. “Always use machine three or seven. The others work even worse. This one is seven. She’s my favorite.”

“She?” Zhongli asked with a sound of amusement.

“I’m being helpful, no mocking me,” Childe insisted. “Or I’ll have to shut you up myself.”

The implications seemed to fly right over Zhongli’s head, so Childe continued. He addressed each button that was useful, and explained how one has to kick the side of the machine five times ‘like the FBI’, Childe had said, and then spam the start button. Zhongli took notes in his phone.

They left together, chatting. Zhongli never mentioned the bloody clothes. They talked about Los Angeles and the best places to eat. They barely had time for another topic because they’d reached Zhongli’s apartment by then, but still, Childe hadn’t found himself so light and happy around anyone since Lumine.

“I’ll be asking for that detergent later,” Zhongli said as a goodbye.

“Do you want my number, so I can be ready with it when you need?” Childe asked.

“Sure,” Zhongli nodded. “That does sound logical.”

Childe smiled warmly as he entered his number into Zhongli’s empty contacts. Zhongli offered a hand, and Childe shook it, holding eye contact. When they let go, they stood for a second before Childe turned and left.

It was probably around 18:00 when Childe collapsed into his bed and opened Lumine’s contact, pressing call.

“Oh my ever-loving god,” Childe announced when she picked up a nanosecond later.

“Did you see him?!”

“Yes,” Childe said breathlessly.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the white circular lights in the ceiling, thinking of Zhongli’s face.

“Oh god, you’re so smitten,” Lumine laughed. “Listen to yourself. A simple yes! And what kinda tone was that? It sounds like he’s already captured your heart.”

“I wouldn’t only kiss his shoes, Lumine, I’d eat his damn toes,” Childe responded.

Lumine had to stop talking to take a laugh break. Childe just stared at the ceiling like it was the most gorgeous thing ever invented.

“He is so charming,” Childe started. “And—”

“Stop,” Lumine interrupted. “I want to see this. Get your ass over to my place. I’m not missing out on your helpless expression, you sound like Ron Weasely after he ate those love chocolates in the Half Blood Prince.”

“I’m going to cry Lumine, he’s so pretty,” Childe said instead.

“Lemme get Slughorn for you,” Lumine giggled. “Fine, I’m coming over. Stay put you bi ass bitch.”

The moment Lumine used her key to burst through Childe’s door, she went into his bedroom and found him still staring at the ceiling. He faced her and she felt like laughing. The urge was so strong that she had to cover her face and cough for a minute.

“Alright, spill the tea,” Lumine sat on the bed beside him.

“Okay so I was going down to wash my clothes,” Childe sat up, cross-legged, in the center of the bed. “And…”

He retold the whole thing, Lumine interrupting with a few laughs and gasps.

“Get some,” Lumine playfully punched his shoulder in the end.

“Talking about getting some,” Childe wiggled his eyebrows at Lumine. “I may be helpless about this guy I just met, but you’ve been pining for Ayaka for the past few months and I need the news.”

He did honestly care about Lumine’s romance, but there was another benefit to getting her to talk instead. Childe felt like if he was given one more prompt to talk about Zhongli, he might never stop speaking. He was already kind of embarrassed, actually. He’d never thought he’d be nervous around someone hot. He’s supposed to be a natural flirt, after all.

“Ayaka stopped by the agency today and gave me a flower,” Lumine said with a helium-fueled squeal. “I think she’s caught on and is trying to woo me!”

“You better get wooing her back,” Childe laughed.

—

Unlike with Lumine, Childe’s relationship with Zhongli was a lot slower in progression. Childe found himself staring quietly at Zhongli across the lobbey, or listening to him speak when they happened to be waiting by washing machines, more often than flirting. He ended up sending a few his way, of course, but overall Childe just found himself treating Zhongli like a friend.

Zhongli made him feel really happy. He complimented him in a way that felt safe and warm and sincere. He was like a stable rock instead of an energetic guy who wanted a one night stand and nothing else. Speaking of rocks, he was also pretty dense.

Childe was always more gentle with Zhongli; not so much slang, way less sex jokes, et cetera, and although when he did make little flirtatious jabs, Zhongli seemed to take them as regular compliments. Childe couldn’t bring himself to up his game in fear that his heart would combust (he’s already strangely flustered when flirting with this particular man), so he didn’t, and thus the flirts flew over Zhongli’s head and their relationship progressed steadily.

Despite being unused to the friends-first-relationships-a-year-later mentality, Childe found the nature of him and Zhongli was actually quite relaxing, and soon his neighbor became the calming force that would stop him from heading off to the shooting range to release his anger at 2 am.

“Thanks,” Zhongli said as he stepped out of Childe’s house one night, picking up the detergent. After two weeks into knowing each other, and Zhongli finally came to claim the offer, because he’d been busy earlier.

“No problem,” Childe grinned. “Hey, wait.”

Zhongli turned questioningly back to the ginger, hair swaying across his back as he did, momentarily startling Childe’s heart like a defibrillator would.

“Seing as you’re not busy tomorrow–”

“I am, actually,” Zhongli interrupted.

“No, you’re not,” Childe said with a teasing grin, to which Zhongli smiled back with a chuckle. “You’d make room in your super busy schedule to help me buy some detergent, right?”

“Buy detergent?” Zhongli asked. “I guess it is only fair.”

“And we’ll get some for you too. Don’t worry, I’ll pay,” Childe winked.

Five minutes later, Childe was crashing into Lumine’s room, where she was watching her ramen microwave.

“GUESS WHO JUST SCORED A DATE!?” Childe announced.

“WHAT?!” Lumine jumped away from the microwave, eyes shining, and ran up to her best friend, holding his hands in front of her chest excitedly.

They spun in a circle, holding hands and jumping with joy, for about three seconds until the microwave screeched at them. Lumine ran to make sure her ramen was okay while Childe went and giggled on her couch.

“Tell me everything,” Lumine said as she collapsed onto her couch, spilling hot ramen oil everywhere.

“So, I asked him to go buy detergent with me,” Childe started.

“Classic.” Lumine nodded in approval.

“And he said yes,” Childe continued.

“Get it.” Lumine slurped her ramen.

“And now we’re going to the store tomorrow, but I’m totally taking him on my motorcycle,” Childe finished.

“Motorcycle yesss.” Lumine clapped after securing her ramen cup between her crossed legs. “Speaking of which, I totally left my sunscreen in your ‘cycle’s cup holder.”

“Oh I’ll grab it tomorrow after my date,” Childe shrugged nonchalantly, then broke into a huge grin and started laughing along with Lumine.

“Okay, so you’re not the only one, no need to hog attention,” Lumine interrupted. “Ayaka and I are going to spend a day with her brother and his boyfriend on Tuesday.”

“Damn!” Childe exclaimed. “Double date much??”

“Exactly what I was thinking!” Lumine enthusiastically slurped more noodles.

That night, Childe ended up having a celebratory sleepover with Lumine, so he stayed at her place playing silly short indie video games and rage quitting halfway through them. He woke up groggy from the cheap beer he had, but quickly recovered when he remembered he had work and then a date right after.

“See you!” Childe called to Lumine, who’d slept along with him on the couch.

“Bye,” Lumine mumbled into the couch cushion, not bothering to move.

Childe merily took the stairs to his room, zooming about like a little kid (you could say, perhaps, like a child). He dressed for work, grabbed his belongings, and made it there in record time for being slightly hungover and definitely insane.

Work ran by like the gang members he chased down the alley way, and soon he was walking out to his motorcycle, earning strange looks from his coworkers who were confused as to how he went from seriously depressed to overly happy within a few months. Vlad was going to ask for his therapist but pride got the better of him.

“Tartaglia,” Zhongli called, chancing upon the Russian right outside of the building.

“Oh, hi.” Childe made a show of his shimmering hair as he yanked his bike helmet off, shaking his head to reorganize it.

Zhongli watched Childe for a second, up until Childe was done with his little performance. The Chinese then coughed and started speaking again.

“Uh, well it seems I am actually available right now, and since you’re already dressed to be out, we may as well go shopping,” Zhongli offered, a bit pink.

“No way, really? Sure, let’s go, hop on,” Childe patted the seat behind him.

“Oh, hey Childe.” Enter: Lumine. “I had to come back to pick up m– oh.”

She caught sight of Zhongli, slightly flushed, and Childe, leaning coolly against his motorcycle, and then grinned.

“Hey, Lumi. Wanna hop on, too?” Childe sat back on his bike, legs on either side, and pointed to the space between them.

“Haha, so funny,” Lumine deadpanned. “Anyway, I’m busy, so bye.”

On her way towards the hotel doors, she paused next to Zhongli, and Childe made out exactly what she said;

“Childe’s a catch, don’t drop him. Or else you end up right here, except bloody and with broken bones, because my apartment’s on the seventh floor and windows are sharp.”

Childe whistled and pretended to be distracted while Zhongli nodded sincerely at the comment.

“Also, if you’re ever up for it, could I get a pic of your feet?” Lumine asked, much louder.

“Lumi, what the hell?!” Childe exclaimed, disgusted.

“I’m joking, you moron,” Lumine flipped the ginger off and then went inside.

“She seems like a fun person,” Zhongli said kindly to Childe.

“She is,” Childe grinned. “Oh, you’d never believe the crush I had on her.”

Zhongli looked to Childe, curious.

“Man, I was totally smitten,” Childe continued. “But she rejected me. I’m over it now, and we’re besties.”

“Are you with anyone else, now?” Zhongli questioned.

“Nope,” Childe looked at Zhongli, leaning forward onto his motorcycle’s handles, keeping meaningful eye contact. “Single is a fluid status, though.”

Zhongli held his gaze and softened his expression. Insides fluttering, Childe waved his neighbor over.

“Let’s go buy some detergent.”

—

Childe, being Childe, did not bring Zhongli to the store and make a quick, easy errand as easy as it should have been.

“Why are we pulling over?” Zhongli asked.

“Because,” Childe grinned under his helmet. “It’s hot out, and I need some important supplies if I’m going to make it there without melting. Russian problems, is all.”

“Oh, well, if it is for your health, I do not mind,” Zhongli replied sweetly from behind Childe, muffled by his own helmet.

“So then, which flavor?” Childe asked as he stepped off of his bike, taking his helmet and putting it on the seat.

Zhongli stepped off as well and copied his neighbor’s motions, although a little less dramatically gay.

“Your important supplies have flavors?” Zhongli questioned.

Childe started walking down the sidewalk, seemingly completely okay with the California heat, not even breaking a sweat. They arrived at the ice cream store not a minute later, tucked along with the other shops along the busy street. Childe only got a parking spot because he could wedge his bike between two cars.

“I’m getting chocolate orange,” Childe replied to his own question, ignoring Zhongli’s with an easy grin.

“I’ll have dreamsicle, then,” Zhongli decided. “Are you sure this ice cream is absolutely necessa–”

Childe playfully shoved Zhongli’s shoulder, shaking his head with a smile, successfully interrupting him.

“Yes,” Childe said. “Very necessary. When one takes a hot guy on an errand, one must buy them food.”

“Ice cream is hardly food,” Zhongli crossed his arms. “I don’t believe this would be filling at all.”

“So, you want to go out to a real dinner later?” Childe questioned innocently. “I mean, if you insist. Meet me at 7:45 at Nobu, on North La Cienega Boulevard.”

Zhongli blinked. Childe stood casually in front of him. He’d just totally asked Zhongli on a date, while already on a (technically) date! His heart was not taking it easy.

“Alright then, I suppose I did insist,” Zhongli nodded, and Childe caught a glint of amusement in his eye.

Yes, another success! Childe grinned widely and Zhongli smiled back. “Anway, time for ice cream!” Childe turned around briskly and walked into the shop.

After successfully treating Zhongli to ice cream, they hopped back on the bike and walked into a convenience store, easily finding the detergent section.

“Mom look, an apple,” a little kid pointed out.

“Good job little Timmie. What else can you name?” their mother asked the tiny child who probably just learned to speak.

“Hmmm,” the kid looked around. “A pigeon!”

“Yes, good job!” the mom applauded. The kid was pointing towards a stuffed dove.

“Oh, oh!” The boy turned to Childe and Zhongli. “Super deeply-in-love homosexuals!”

“You’re really good at this, darling,” the mother applauded once again.

Childe stifled a laugh as the kid and mother went down the aisle, desperately trying to contain his amusement, face flushed.

“Man, that reminds me of my younger brother,” Childe said, walking close to Zhongli, nearly so that their shoulders were touching. “He always said every sexy guy I stood next to was my husband. I didn’t mind, because I wouldn’t mind marrying any of them, of course.”

Zhongli blushed a bit and fixed his gaze forward.

“Hey, the detergent,” Childe noted. Classic technique: say something flirtatious or implicative, then switch to something else before they can respond, leaving the remark in their head to brew. Ah, Childe, you’ve outdone yourself.

The couple stopped and smelled a bunch of detergents, Childe growing antsy when Zhongli started reading the ingredients and calculating their value for every brand. Eventually he just stuck his arms in a shelf, hugged a bunch of detergents, stepped back, twisted and then dropped them into the cart like a crane picking up I-beams.

Zhongli laughed at his actions, and Childe offered him a grin.

“Now, to the cashier!” Childe exclaimed.

He proceeded to run with the cart and then jump up on the metal bar near the back wheels, riding the cart and barely swerving out of the way of some old ass guy buying several crates of Hydroculi Water (it’s like Fiji water but French and more expensive).

Childe knew they didn’t need a cart to carry two bottles of washing machine detergent. He brought it literally for the sole purpose of riding it through the long, plain store aisles like a little kid.

Zhongli ran to catch up with Childe and was huffing and leaning over with his hands on his knees by the time he was standing behind the ginger in the check out line.

Childe took in his neighbor’s exhausted state and wondered how much he worked out. He was clearly well-toned, but severely lacking in stamina. He observed, to his own amusement, that maybe he just skipped leg day, which only made Childe want to see what was beneath his shiiiirt ohgod stop thinking these things Childe it’s too early to faint—

“You are not the best companion to shop with,” Zhongli puffed out.

“You don’t mean that,” Childe swished his hand dismissively, regaining his senses. “I’m lovely.”

Zhongli stood up to his full height and crossed his arms, still slightly out of breath, hair a bit messed up. He gave Childe a small smile– clearly sarcastic in nature. Childe glared at him.

“If you are inclined to believe so,” Zhongli replied.

“Well, I would kick you in the shin for such a ruthless insult.” Childe leaned his arms against the cart handle, facing away from its contents and at Zhongli, who was standing behind him in line. He gave Zhongli a flirtatious smile, and tutted; “But oh, how it would break my heart to see the man of my dreams in pain.”

Childe had to admit, that was a rather bold remark. It kind of slipped out. The only way he was able to say such a thing as ‘man of my dreams’ was because he was getting comfortable around the brunette.

The realization warmed Childe’s heart to the point where he forgot he was in the middle of a public space, blushing like a flamingo.

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Zhongli smiled that tiny handsome smile. “But I believe I could handle a mere kick to the shin.”

“You underestimate my prowess,” Childe grinned back, heart still thrumming.

“I am sure I must be,” Zhongli agreed. “It is easy to underestimate things we have not seen.”

“Oh, so you want to see my muscles in action?” Childe winked.

“I’d love to later, but we are currently holding up the line,” Zhongli pointed out.

Childe turned around, looking over the cart to see that everyone ahead of them had already checked out. He looked back at Zhongli, and saw a long line of people waiting impatiently and shooting Childe ugly glares.

“You could have told me,” Childe grumbled, but he was smiling.

He must’ve been so lost in Zhongli’s smile that the background had faded away.

They checked out quickly, greeted by an exasperated worker who’d watched their interaction boredly, waiting for them to notice their line hogging. Zhongli kindly offered to carry the paper bag holding their detergent. Childe felt his heart swell with appreciation, despite it being a simple act of kindness.

After packing their goods neatly away in the zipper-operated bag attached to the back of Childe’s motorcycle, they hopped back on the vehicle and it rumbled to life.

“You know, we have a diner at 7:45, and it’s six right now,” Childe said casually as he waited for an opening on the road. “Would be a waste of time to go home, right?”

“What are you implying now?” Zhongli sounded as exasperated as the cashier, but Childe definitely didn’t fail to notice the fond tone. “You have already brought me for ice cream and stalled the line, thus delaying this whole ordeal until it grew this late.”

“I’m implyyyying,” Childe grinned, facing back towards Zhongli, who was seated behind him on the bike. “We go on a walk in the park by the restaurant. Together.”

“You are sly as a fox,” Zhongli shook his head, expression fond through his helmet. “Don’t think I failed to notice how you keep organizing such events, one after the other, under weak excuses.”

“Well, is that a no to my offer?” Childe tilted his head in question.

“Ah, well,” Zhongli’s soft smile was dulled through the sun-glassed helmet, but it was brilliant nonetheless. “How could I ever say no to you, Tartaglia?”

Aaand now welcoming to the stage: Childe’s heart! Today, it will be performing several high-stakes acrobatic tricks along with a lesson on arrhythmia after it flips twenty times on its decent into a tiny pool of water.

Childe turned and faced forward, Zhongli’s arms around his waist suddenly feeling a lot warmer.

Zhongli just flirted with him. Not a sexy flirt, but a kind one that made Childe feel like Zhongli really cared for him. He justified his lack of response by merging into the busy street, headed towards the restaurant.

They diverted a block away from the restaurant and Childe parked his bike in an open spot. By the time he’d turned off the vehicle and put the brakes on and was about to stand up, he paused at the sight of an outstretched hand. Looking up, he met Zhongli’s gentle smile and kind eyes.

“What a gentleman,” Childe said, not flirtatiously, but more factually.

He accepted the hand and stood up, setting his helmet and securing it in a robber-safe bag. Zhongli then, much to Childe’s heart’s happiness, offered an arm. Childe wrapped his own through it, and they walked slowly towards the park.

Childe suddenly crouched to the ground, startling Zhongli as he let go of his arm. Childe grinned and stood back up, holding a tiny rock speckled with shining rose-gold, pretty and reflecting the light from the street lamps.

“It’s pretty,” Childe said simply.

Zhongli nodded in agreement, fascinated by Childe’s spontaneity.

“Here,” the ginger grabbed Zhongli’s hand and put the rock in his palm, gently closing Zhongli’s fingers around it like a fist. “A gift. If I kept it I’d totally lose it, anyway.”

“Thank you,” Zhongli replied sincerely, eyeing the rock and then carefully pocketing it with a tiny smile.

They kept walking, arms linked once again.

“I admit, I was skeptical about walking to pass the time before our reservation,” Zhongli pointed out a few seconds after they’d started strolling. “But it is quite beautiful today.”

The amount of flirts on Childe’s tongue were threatening to burst forth. Not as beautiful as you. It wouldn’t be if you weren’t here. Of course it is, but it’s exponentially more beautiful as a background for you, Zhongli. He didn’t say a word, though, because he was strangely nervous.

Usually in relationships, he’d flirt, get a date that night, maybe do the devil’s tango the night after. Most of his relationships lasted a month at most. He never got nervous, he was always aware of how hot he was and confident in his flirting. Zhongli, however, made him self-conscious: What if he doesn’t like me?

The thought was so foreign to Childe that he was startled by it and failed to respond to Zhongli’s statement.

“Are you okay?” Zhongli asked after another second of walking.

Zhongli made Childe feel things other than sexual desire and Childe was really struggling to wrap his head around it. It made his head light and dizzy and it was like all negative thoughts had completely disappeared.

They’d barely gotten to know each other, but Childe was attached. Zhongli was kind, didn’t pry and his smile never failed to push away any of Childe’s lingering worries from work or life. Best out of it all, Zhongli liked him. He could tell. Zhongli stood close to Childe, he kept glancing at him fondly… Zhongli’s positive opinion of him possibly made him happier than anything on earth.

“Childe?”

He glanced at Zhongli’s eyes, and realized they’d stopped. His heart jumped and he felt himself at a lack of words, because when had Childe, the famous flirt and one night stand master, become so worried about his impression? When had anyone made him this happy?

Unlike when he fell for Lumine, Zhongli sparked something deeper in him.

Like real, romantic love.

Childe smiled, looking at his feet, and responded:

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

—

When Childe opened his apartment’s door, walking and smiling like a lovestruck idiot on weed, Lumine was, obviously, elated.

“Did you kiss?! Did you have sex in the restaurant’s bathroom?!” Lumine gasped. There was no other thing that could possibly render Childe so wistful and gleeful. “When you texted me that you’d scored a dinner date I thought you’d do something more! I was right, right?”

Childe didn’t question her being in his apartment, opting instead to flop down next to her on his couch and pick of the adjacent pillow. Holding it up to his face, he screamed.

“You done?” Lumine asked with a shining grin.

“I don’t think I ever will be,” Childe said, taking a breath of air, face red. “Holy shit I can’t express it in words, Lumi.”

“He’s that good?” Lumine laughed.

“No, we didn’t do that,” Childe shook his head and met Lumine’s excited, but now confused, face. “We just… talked.”

“Wait, you’re this helplessly wistful just because you talked?” Lumine asked.

“I think I’m actually, genuinely in love,” Childe said very seriously, holding his friend’s gaze. “I’ve never felt like this. I don’t need to kiss him or do anything more. I feel so happy and valued and welcomed and cared for and—”

“Stop,” Lumine slapped a hand over his mouth. “Let me get some coffee first. You lay here all smitten and helpless as Bilbo when he saw Thorin until I get back, ‘kay?”

“Bilbo wasn’t—”

“We can argue about The Hobbit when you’re in a better state of mind, lemme raid your rich ass coffee stash,” Lumine interrupted, standing up and going into the kitchen. “Oooh, you got Indonesian, that’s some fancy shit.”

So Childe recounted his night with Zhongli—their walk in the park, how Childe’s brain randomly malfunctioned and the thought ‘I love you’ sprang into his head and never left. He told Lumine about their dinner date; it was all pretty basic stuff. Order food, eat it, leave. But Childe, I kid you not, spent literally two entire hours recounting the thing to Lumine.

“I’ve never met anyone who fell so fast and hard in love,” Lumine chuckled. “Holy shit. You’re like, completely gone for him.”

“So, so far gone.” Childe leaned back into the couch cushions, neck arching over the back of the couch so he was staring at the ceiling. “And I’ve only known him for a week or two!”

“Some people just fall in love fast,” Lumine shrugged. “But Childe, I want you to be careful.”

Childe tilted his head, still draped over the back of the couch, but now facing Lumine, who sat criss-crossed on the couch with her mug of Childe’s most expensive coffee in her hands.

“You barely know him. All you know is that he’s kind and gentlemanly, and doesn’t care that you sometimes commit murder. All good qualities, obviously, but that’s it. Is there really something special about him? You know the basics,” Lumine advised. “With me, at least our personalities are compatible. We’re both kind of unhinged and find way too much amusement in stupid things. You and Zhongli don’t have much in common.”

“I came here to rant, not be judged,” Childe scoffed playfully.

“Yeah, well, gossip buddies have to look out for each other,” Lumine punched his shoulder with a smile.

“Yeah…” Childe went back to staring at the ceiling, contemplating her words with a frown. “Hey, I have an idea. You don’t actually know him. How about this; I introduce him to you, and you can judge if I’m falling for the wrong guy?”

“Childe,” Lumine gasped. “You just had a smart idea!”

“Shut up,” Childe laughed, leaning back forward and shooting her a grin.

“Hey, did you hear that the dude who lives on floor three was caught smuggling a cat inside?” Lumine asked.

“Yeah! Crazy bitch, I wish I had the guts, but I’ve been banned from all the other complexes and would never find a place to live if I tried. Did you hear that the girl on floor twelve crashed her car into the girl-who-lives-on-the-second-floor’s Vespa?”

“No way, what?!”

—

A week later, Childe and Zhongli were sitting in Lumine’s apartment at her dinner table.

“So, I tried making this new dish, but I’d only just seen the recipe this morning and realized I didn’t have a casserole dish, so I threw everything in a pot. We’ll see how it goes,” Lumine said as she plopped a giant platter of some fancy lasagne-like food on the table.

“Whoa,” Childe breathed. “It’s like gourmet, or something!”

“It looks exquisite. You have quite the talent for cooking, Ms. Lumine,” Zhongli applauded with a kind smile.

“Nah, it just looks fancy to your standards,” Lumine brushed it off. “After all, the only thing Childe can make is instant ramen and some kind of weird seafood soup.”

“My soup is freaking delicious!” Childe exclaimed. “It’s not weird!”

“It looks like shit,” Lumine crossed her arms as she sat down.

“No,” Childe huffed. “Zhongli, tell Lumine my soup isn’t shit.”

“Well, I haven’t had the pleasure of trying your soup, so I would not be able to tell,” Zhongli offered.

“We’ll have to change that,” Childe insisted. “My place, Monday?”

“Sure,” Zhongli nodded.

“Did you just arrange a date in front of me?” Lumine laughed.

“Oh, we’re not dating,” Zhongli responded easily.

“Oh, you’re not, I see.” Lumine, the little shit. She knew they weren’t dating! What the hell was she up to? “Zhongli, are you open, then?”

“For what?” Zhongli tilted his head.

“A date, silly.” Lumine grinned evilly at Childe, but hid it by starting to carve up her fancy dinner and plate it for her guests.

Zhongli looked between Lumine and Childe, blinking, taking in Childe’s indignant scowl.

“I’m afraid I’m busy,” he concluded apologetically.

“Busy, right,” Lumine chuckled. “Busy with Childe.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Childe crossed his arms and glared.

“Oh, you’re offended by me insinuating that you’re hanging out with Zhongli? Do you hate Zhongli that much?” Lumine sent a teasing look at Childe.

“Wha- you little hoe,” Childe concluded. “Of course I don’t hate Zhongli. How could I hate him when he’s so…” Childe looked at Zhongli and blushed and looked back at Lumine. “Nice.”

“Ah, Zhongli, it appears Mr.Tartaglia has the hots for you,” Lumine responded simply.

“Oh, um, I’m honored,” Zhongli blushed.

“Hey, let’s toast,” Lumine offered, not allowing a minute of silence in the already hectic conversation.

Childe sent her another glare for good measure and picked up his glass.

“To the power of gay love!” Lumine exclaimed.

They all clicked their glasses together above the table.

The rest of the dinner consisted of Zhongli and Childe flirting (mostly Childe), and Lumine sending weird tests Zhongli’s way to see if he was really fit for Childe. ‘Testing the waters’, she called it. She even got Zhongli to go on a rant about why he hung out with Childe.

It ended up being a kind of teasing game where she did her best to make Childe as embarrassed as possible until it was time for them to go.

“Your babies will be beautiful!” Lumine shouted as they stepped outside of her door, Childe slamming it behind him.

Childe immediately slammed his head into the wall beside her door, holding his face in his hands. “She’s so damn embarrassing. I’m really sorry for her.”

“It’s fine,” Zhongli shook his head. “She’s just a bit… full of assumptions, and she’s rather enthusiastic about them.”

“Yeah,” Childe mumbled into the wall.

He leaned away and took a deep breath, then smiled.

“So, let me walk you to your place?” Childe offered.

Zhongli looked at Childe’s outstretched hand and his eyes smiled, reaching forward and accepting it.

—

Slow progression, yes, but Childe would never have it any other way. He was finding the beauty in getting to know someone, in falling deeper in love, in being able to process his thoughts and spent nights picturing Zhongli.

Instead of an exhilarating week-long relationship, he felt genuine joy and comfort until seeing Zhongli ever day for tea was like his therapy.

On one sunday they went to the beach, Childe enthusiastically splashing around, renting a surf board and building sandcastles while Zhongli found great amusement in following along. Childe had collected a wide variety of seashells and sorted through them until only three remained, then he handed them to Zhongli, a gift like the pretty rock from their walk in the park.

The next Wednesday, they’d go to a bowling alley, where Childe would gawk at Zhongli’s strange skill to hit strikes every round, and feel flutters in his chest when Zhongli smiled at him, challenging the ginger to a tiny competition.

Two months into their bonding, Childe was never more sure of his feelings. The meet-cute rush gone, his head cleared, all that remained was raw and powerful love, which he wasted no time in expressing: gifts for Zhongli, little touches, dinners, and outings.

During the period in their relationship where Childe was trying to find a way to make it official (he’d never been so anxious to ask someone out in his life; he was certain whenever he did it, it had to be perfect), Childe was just casually playing Fortnite on his Xbox when Lumine literally broke his door by slamming it open so hard.

“I. JUST. GOT. A. DATE!” Lumine screeched.

Childe jumped to his feet, sending his controller flying across the room, slamming into the drywall and holding there for a few seconds. He ran to Lumine and grabbed her hands, squealing with her.

“HOLY SHiT SHIt SHIT!” Childe yelled.

“DUDE. I’VE BEEN HINTING FOR SO LONG, AND I FINALLY ASKED HER AND SHE SAID ‘Well, Lu, I’m honored. How could I possibly say no?’ AND I DIED!” They were literally jumping up and down at this point.

Yelling for a minute straight, obviously, concerned their neighbors enough that Zhongli himself curiously approached Childe’s apartment, wanting to see what was up. He, inevitably, got roped into sitting close to Childe on the couch while Lumine ranted about Ayaka like she was presenting an assignment she half-assed last minute and had to appear energetic to regain her grade.

During The Lesbian Ranting, Childe gently moved his hand to tap on Zhongli’s thigh, gaining the brunette’s attention. “Would you like some tea?” Childe asked in a whisper, because if Lumine noticed they weren’t hanging onto her every word with absolute enthusiasm, she’d slaughter them both. “I know you’re not used to this type a thing and might be exhausted already.”

“Thanks, Tartaglia,” Zhongli whispered back (shivers) with a gentle, only-for-Childe smile.

They sat and listened for another hour, this time with tea and shoulders brushing whenever Childe sat up at a new point of Lumine’s enthusiasm, equally excited.

“So, thus, in conclusion, to summarize, I’m going on a date with the most beautiful person ever to exist, and my brother still’s got no bitches,” Lumine addressed the two, finally ending the movie-length rant.

“Wait, didn’t you say earlier he hooked up with Lyney?” Childe asked.

“No, he hooked up with Lynette to make Lyney jealous; but Lynette, while thinking it was hilarious, eventually had to break up with Aether because he has dry crusty skin,” Lumine explained. “And she wanted to get away from their cheesy gross romance because she’s too aro/ace to deal with it.”

“So real,” Childe laughed.

“Anywayyy…” Lumine grinned and made her way to the couch.

Zhongli scooted closer to Childe so she could fit beside him in the empty space, but she planted herself right in between them. She wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders, pulling them close with a smile.

“Now that I’m dating the love of my life, I’m officially inviting you two to a double date!” she said innocently. “Failure to comply may lead to severe pain and possibly death, terms and conditions apply. What do you say?”

“I have to admit, I feel I simply must meet this Ayaka, she sounds amazing,” Zhongli replied easily, and Childe really wished he could see his reaction to the ‘double date’ mention, but Lumine’s dress was all in his face.

“Um, agreed!” Childe shuffled so he could breath. “Though this doesn’t seem optional, thanks to the vaguely threatening—”

“Great! I’ll text you guys the details.” Lumine leapt up and clasped her hands behind her back, smiling at them. “See you later! I gotta brag to Aether.”

“Understandable, have a great day,” Childe soluted with two fingers. She returned it playfully and left through the still-open door, which hung lopsided. The moment she was gone, the two on the couch moved closer. “Welp, sorry for getting you involved in this.”

“I’d have this evening no other way.” Zhongli looked down at his empty teacup. “Would you mind if I stayed for another cup of tea?”

“Would you mind if I poured you two?” Childe asked.

—

Ask Zhongli out, ask Zhongli out. The thoughts were running non stop through Childe’s head when he walked Zhongli to his apartment, when he went back to his own and realized it was midnight, when he collapsed onto his bed, and when he was staring at his ceiling.

But it had to be perfect. He got thinking when Lumine mentioned (literally threatened) them coming to the double date. Maybe… no, asking him out there would be stealing Lumine’s thunder.

It was too strangely anxiety-inducing, so Childe decided to sleep instead.

—

“YOU DON’T KNOW, OH OH! YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!” Lumine and Childe scream-sang in the car. “IF ONLY YOU SAW WHAT I COULD SEE, YOU’D UNDERSTAND WHY I WANT YOU SO DESPERATELY!”

Ayaka, sitting in the passenger seat, and Zhongli, sitting beside Childe in the back, were stifling laughs.

“Yo, this my jAM!” Childe shouted when the next song started. “LIKE A MOVIE STAR FROM A SILVER SCREEN–”

“YOU’RE ONE OF A KIND, LIVING IN A WORLD GONE PLASTIC!” Lumine took over.

“BABY, YOU’RE SO CLASSIC!” They sang together and Ayaka broke out in giggles.

“You’re such idiots,” She managed.

“Sing it, Childe!” Lumine exclaimed when the chorus ended.

“Baby, you're class and baby, you're sick, I never met a girl like you ever till we met. A star in the '40s, centerfold in the '50s got me trippin' out like the '60s, hippies. Queen of the discotheque, a '70s dream and an '80s best. Hepburn, Beyoncé, Marilyn, massive! Girl, you're timeless, just so classic!” Childe rapped.

“May I ask why you know every lyric to a popular song from the 2010s?” Zhongli asked over the music, wind, and Lumine, who’d taken up the next lyrics so enthusiastically that Ayaka had to remind her to watch the road.

“Um, the real question is why don’t you?” Childe grinned, the wind from the convertible’s open roof tousling his styled hair.

Zhongli, if he weren’t so gentlemanly, would have definitely rolled his eyes; Childe could see it by his tiny, fond, exasperated smile and how he held Childe’s gaze for a second. It really, really made Childe want to kiss him. He could never get enough of that smile. You know when you see something so perfectly beautiful you just want to pick it up and eat it? Yup.

Anyway, Lumine and Childe (and occasionally with the help of Ayaka) continued to yell along with the lyrics while Zhongli watched them all fondly, like a real adult among rambunctious teenagers.

They go to the Crave in the local mall, because it was the fanciest place Lumine could think of. She wasn’t used to the rich life and generally understood that Crave was the most expensive she could afford, even though Childe would have totally paid for them all at a gourmet place.

However, Ayaka seemed to think Lumine’s humble dinner location was cute and so Lumine of her, so Childe didn’t comment.

The girls held hands and walking slowly ahead, laughing at each other and the people around them like the grossest cutest couple ever. Childe kept watching them with a grin and occasionally butting in and earning laughs, but he stopped when he realized Zhongli was mostly left out. He went to walk quietly beside his neighbor.

“They’re rather sweet,” Zhongli pointed out when Childe fell back to him.

“Yeah. Lumine ranted for so long about Ayaka, it’s amazing to finally see their dynamic. Lumine doesn’t change her attitude to be more appealing in front of Ayaka, which I think is really valuable, you know?” Childe said while watching the girls giggle.

“Yes, that is valuable. It means that they trust each other,” Zhongli agreed.

A second of silent contemplation followed.

“To be clear, I don’t stifle myself for you. If you’re acting different around me I hope you know you can trust me to be yourself.” Childe looked at Zhongli sincerely, smiling warmly.

“I appreciate it, however, I would never change myself to fit in with others, regardless,” Zhongli smiled back. “And I really hope you never do either. I quite enjoy your company.”

“Just my company? Am I not easy on the eyes?” Childe joked, grinning and ruining anything that might have been sweet and sentimental about their conversation, flexing his bicep out for Zhongli.

“Easy on the eyes? No, Childe, you’re hard to look at,” Lumine interrupted. “So hard it gets me hard.”

“Oh my shit sticks, what the hell, Lumine!” Childe jumped in surprise, having been so focused on Zhongli’s reaction that he failed to see Lumine. “But thanks. Even though your lesbian ass is lying, I get your point of view. I get myself hard sometimes, too.”

“Ew, what the hell?!” Lumine punched Childe in disgust.

Zhongli just watched their interaction in silence, very lucky that Lumine had saved him from having to respond to Childe’s question.

“Anyway, we’re almost there, just up that escalator,” Lumine pointed ahead at the escalator.

“Ooo, fun,” Childe grinned. “Hey, Ayaka, race you to the top?”

“Very funny,” Ayaka rolled her eyes, then grinned. “I’ve been racing my brother for a decade or two. Do you really think you could win?”

“Oh ho ho, I see Lumine’s competitive side rubbed off on you. And her cockiness,” Childe responded.

He then sprinted off without warning and Ayaka yelled out a ‘cheater!’, but took off anyway. Her heels slowed her down, so Lumine threw her Converse at her and Ayaka changed out the shoes in a millisecond and kept going, like a racing car at a pit stop.

Childe reached the top, barely breathless, but Ayaka made it a few seconds after.

“Congratulations,” Ayaka breathed out. “You beat a lady at a race.”

“Yes I did, cry about it,” Childe nodded. “Nice bonding experience. I feel like I know you now. I approve, by the way. You’re good for Lumi.”

Ayaka blushed gently, hiding her face behind her hand, her competitiveness lessening and her shyness taking over.

“Well, I’m honored she chose me,” Ayaka said humbly. “She truly is amazing. She puts up with my random outbursts of energy, and I help with her moments of languidness when she needs excitement.”

“Looks like me and Lumine both into the noble chivalrous type, huh?” Childe remarked.

“Oh?” Ayaka looked at Childe mischievously. “Is the guest you brought more than the friend you said he is?”

“Smart, too. Maybe you can rub that off on Lumine,” Childe avoided the question, though he sent Ayaka a knowing smile, and she giggled cutely.

Childe looked down the escalator and saw Zhongli and Lumine in a deep conversation, riding their way up. He waited for them, and the moment they made it to the top, Childe could tell Lumine had had some sort of talk with Zhongli. They’re both too serious.

“Tartaglia, I have something to say to you,” Zhongli said when they reached the top. Childe looked over at Lumine. She nodded solemnly. “Lumine told me of your… predicament.”

“Huh?” Childe’s heart rate picked up. No way did Lumine just tell Zhongli about his crush! That broke the Best Friend Truce of Secrecy!

Zhongli looked at Childe sincerely and put his arms on the fronts of Childe’s shoulders comfortingly, and Childe felt a blush spread up to his cheeks.

“I do not care if you have every single STD, Schizophrenia and some rare disease called Deezeknutz. I do not care if you’re going to die by winter, Tartaglia. I will support you along the way, even though your loss will greatly sadden me.” And with that Zhongli pulled Childe into a deep hug.

Lumine burst out laughing and nearly fell right back down the escalator. Ayaka managed to laugh in a more ladylike manner, except then she snorted and Lumine laughed harder and it turned into such a loud raucous that a security guard eyed them suspiciously.

Childe was trapped between crying because Zhongli was so damn gullible and ridiculously sweet, or laughing because Lumine got him good.

Instead, wraped his arms around Zhongli’s back and moved his head to rest on the brunette’s shoulder.

“Zhongli, I’m so sorry, but you’ve become a victim,” Childe mumbled, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing, because his brain decided this was more funny than anything else.

“I am slowly realizing that for myself,” Zhongli responded, loosening his grip.

Their hug was over, and Zhongli looked neutrally (well, he tried, but a blush of embarrassment was visible) over at Lumine. Childe missed the warmth, but he was so amused at Zhongli’s expression that he couldn’t hold it anymore and burst out laughing.

“Lumine, you’re such a bitch!” he gasped through his amused tears. “You’re so goddamn mean! I should be really pissed at you for messing with Zhongli, but I’d totally do the same to Ayaka.”

Lumine heaved a breath and finally stopped laughing, face flushed from amusement.

So, they headed off to Crave. After Childe got over his initial amusement, he spent the rest of the walk comforting Zhongli.

“It’s okay. She’s like that. I’ll get her back later as revenge. And don’t feel stupid about it, she’s really sneaky,” Childe reassured.

“Thank you. I have to admit, I felt quite idiotic. But it was amusing to see you three so happy, so it was worth it in the end,” Zhongli decided.

“And I got a hug,” Childe smiled gently. “That was nice.”

“Oh, well, I am happy to learn that my hugs are satisfactory,” Zhongli nodded, looking away and ahead at the girls who’d seen Crave and entered to claim their reservation. “And what I said earlier still stands.”

“That I have every STD? Thanks,” Childe scoffed playfully.

Zhongli shook his head fondly. Childe wanted to kiss his whole damn face off.

—

So, it seemed like Lumine had fully tortured and approved of Zhongli, while also antagonizing Childe as much as possible along the way. She sent him an approving thumbs up across the elevator behind Zhongli’s back on their way up to their respective apartments. It was a seal of approval for their relationship. Childe had grinned back.

One night, when he was visiting Zhongli’s favorite art museum because the Chinese man had decided Childe really needed some culturing, Zhongli was the one to subtly arrange a date while also already on a date, for the first time.

“My friends are having a casual gathering Sunday night, in addition to a plus one,” Zhongli spoke up after they’d been staring at an art piece for a while. “I would be elated if you would join me.”

The Russian kept his eyes on the art, but he was smiling. Without looking away, he said; “Why, I would be positively elated to take you up on that generous offer, good sir.”

Zhongli smiled in Childe’s peripheral vision and the ginger had to look away and cough to hide a delighted smirk.

—

Childe shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course all of Zhongli’s friends were seated in cushy chairs in a private room at a tea shop, legs crossed and postures perfect, engaging in gentle and quiet discussion.

The ginger felt wildly out of place as he sat next to a pristine woman with long, perfect white hair and a sexy gold and white dress. She had sharp ass fingernails and he subtly moved his chair closer to Zhongli’s for safety.

“Baizhu, Navia and Clorinde, and Jean are otherwise occupied, but this should be everyone,” one of the sexy gentlemen said. Yes, only one of them, because there were so many.

“Ah, it seems Zhongli finally found a plus one,” the lady beside me said with amusement. “Our lonely friend, alone no more.”

Childe looked at Zhongli curiously, a grin growing on his face.

“Aw, am I the only one you found worthy enough of inviting?” Childe nudged Zhongli and whispered lightheartedly.

“No need to tease me, Ningguang. Especially when your plus one is never available,” Zhongli responded.

“Silly me, hypocrisy was not my intention. I was simply stating a fact. I get hoes and you’re a sad old man,” the lady, Ningguang, chuckled.

Holy shit. Was that what high society beefing was like? Childe could hardly hide his laugh.

“Alright, cut the shit, let’s do introductions so this new guy isn’t lost,” someone else interrupted. “I’m Diluc. CEO of Dawn Wine Industries and head of the Neighborhood Night Watch program in Germany.”

“I am Neuvillette, a judge on France’s supreme court and I own my own firm here in LA,” the man who first spoke when Childe walked in addressed himself next. “Wriothesley is the man sitting beside me. He’s actually asleep. Do not mind him, he’s had a rough day.”

“Raiden Ei. I am a co-leader of Vision Hunt Industries along with my sister who is not present here today,” a stoic-looking purple-haired Asian woman introduced. “Also, mayor of Tokyo.”

“Yae Miko. Head of Japan’s government publishing agency, Ei’s plus one,” the woman on her left said. She had a mischievous look in her eye and Childe decided she could be interesting.

“Kamisato Ayato. I believe I’ve heard of you, Mr. Tartaglia, from my sister,” Ayato smiled at Childe, and he had a mini flashback to that time he gay panicked at his photograph when Lumine showed it to him. “Head of the Kamisato Historical Estate and Resort as well as my branch of the Japanese government.”

“Thoma. His plus one,” the blond next to him said easily, focused intently on pouring tea for Ayato. “Caretaker of the Kamisato Estate.”

“Ningguang,” the scary lady beside Childe said. “Tianquan of the Qixing of Jade Chamber Inc. in China.”

“I am Alhaitham,” the final member said. He said nothing else. That was it, because he was very focused on his phone.

“Uh, well, I’m Tartaglia.” Childe used his fancy name because these guys sounded fancy. “12th Executive Harbinger of Russia’s government bank, Northland Banking, representative for the United States.”

“Yes, let’s add another to our list,” Diluc mumbled. “Are we collecting at least one person from each country, now?”

“Like Pokémon,” Thoma pointed out.

“I am unsure if we can fit over 195 people at this table,” Zhongli responded. “Well, 196 if you count Taiwan.”

“How you know the exact number of countries in this world, I’ll never know,” Ningguang teased. “Is it because you’re so adrift in life that you Google random facts to fill the void?”

“Oi, back off,” Childe said instinctually, and a ton of hot people were suddenly staring at him. Childe didn’t back down, crossing his arms defensively. “I don’t know what kind of feud is going on between you two, but that felt rather personal, so kindly piss off.”

“Damn, what did I miss?” Neuvillette’s plus one groggily asked.

“It seems Zhongli, like Neuvillette, has got himself an unsophisticated, meddling partner,” Yae Miko giggled spookily. “Although it looks like this one’s actually quite good looking.”

She winked at Childe and he felt a gentle blush spread across his cheeks. I mean, in Childe’s defense, holy hell she was hot. And she was complimenting him? But no, he didn’t like her, because she insulted Zhongli, so he forced himself to look casual again.

“Looks like the newbie’s flustered,” she chuckled.

“Yae, don’t tease him,” Ei said, rolling her eyes. “Zhongli might get jealous.”

Childe looked over at Zhongli in time to catch him glaring at Yae Miko.

“Old, sentimental Zhongli, always so possessive of what’s his,” Yae tsked. “Tartaglia, dear, tell me. How is Zhongli these days? He never talks to us anymore.”

Usually he’d be laughing and typing out all the sweet gossip to Lumine, but Childe felt angry because this bitch was targeting his date and he was not having it.

“Miko, it would be in your best interests to keep Tartaglia’s name off of your lips,” Zhongli said casually, but Childe recognized it as a specific tone, one that was deep and threatening and really really sexy.

“Okay, that felt nice and threatening enough to last a decade,” Wriothesley glared at the pink haired woman and then yawned. “I came here for food and I am not putting up with your rich people shit today. Where are the mini croissants?”

“Must you always resort to eating French food in foreign countries?” Neuvillette asked lightheartedly, and Childe definitely caught fondness in those eyes. Man. Relationship goals.

“Yes.”

The meeting went okay. Childe found himself bonding with Wriothesley and Thoma, who seemed to be the only ordinary people there. Ayato loosened up after a while, especially when the conversation engaged Thoma, but otherwise the rest were pretty uptight.

It was fun watching rich people banter. They had a certain way of speaking that was delicately harsh and Childe may or may not have had his notes app open under the table, typing the best insults of the meeting.

Zhongli’s warning seemed to hold some kind of power, seeing as nobody singled Childe out for the rest of the night. Usually he’d like attention, especially from hot rich people, but Zhongli’s threat kept repeating in Childe’s head and he felt hot thinking about it each time, and it was so much better than attention, because it was caring.

Anyway, to summarize, Childe had an overall good time, but he couldn’t wait to get back to Lumine’s non-aristocrat borderline psychotic behavior, the stuff he was used to. He missed slang so damn much. He hadn’t heard a single ‘bro’ in an hour, and it distressed him enough that he just wanted to shout it out randomly and interrupt their diplomatic conversations without a care.

Diluc left first, obviously done with the place, and Childe was envious. Then Alhaitham left, and Childe forgot he was there because he was reading a book in the corner after he realized early on that everyone present was uninterested in his field of study.

If Childe was a genius, he’d note that he was glued to his phone and texting someone named ‘Kav,’ but he was unfortunately dumb and the only reason I included this mention in this chapter was for the shippers out there.

The third to leave were Zhongli and Childe, after Childe reminded his neighbor a few times that he was dying inside and might combust after so much exposure to high society (and hot) people.

“I am glad you were willing to tag along,” Zhongli said when they were walking to Zhongli’s car. “Your comments often made the conversation more lively.”

Childe’s arm was fitted around Zhongli’s, and they walked together slowly, stepping out into the night air. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed, and Childe yawned before responding.

“I tend to do that,” he said cockily.

Zhongli chuckled but didn’t say anything. They walked on for a bit. Childe made the two of them stop and he picked up a black, reflective rock sitting on the top of a fence, like someone had left it there on purpose. He wordlessly handed it to Zhongli, like he had with the seashells and with the rock from the park. The brunette accepted it with a smile.

They kept up their stroll, listening to the hum of cars and rustle of palm trees.

“Tartaglia,” he said after some silence. “I was wondering if I could ask you something.”

They slowed to a halt and Childe looked up at the brunette, slightly concerned by the serious tone.

“Why is it that you put up with me?” he questioned.

Um, excuse him? What the hell?

“Uh, because you’re like, absolutely amazing?!” Childe exclaimed. “There’s nothing to ‘put up with’ because you’re not annoying at all. The better question would be why do you put up with my antics? You’re so kind and gentle and knowledgeable and—”

“Yes, thank you Childe,” Zhongli interrupted, smiling fondly. “I simply wasn’t certain.”

“Of what?” Childe asked.

“My work friend Hu Tao noted that people might only enjoy my presence because of my appearance,” Zhongli said solemnly. “I was thinking about it earlier, when Yae Miko mentioned your appearance. She reminds me of such people.”

“Your beauty just adds to your presence,” Childe insisted. “A factor that emphasizes the utter beauty of your personality. Damn that was deep, lemme write that in the Notes app.”

“I am glad I met you,” Zhongli remarked as Childe maneuvered his spare hand to grab his phone. “You are unabashedly yourself.”

“I hope that’s with a good connotation?” Childe grinned.

“The best,” Zhongli nodded.

Butterflies. They startled him into nearly dropping his phone onto the concrete, but he managed to secure it beforehand.

“Well, I’m really happy I met you,” Childe looked up from his phone to meet Zhongli’s eyes, which were soft and fond. “Because I meant what I said. I’ve never met anyone who truly put up with me, not to mention like my company. I guess you kind of make me feel good about myself.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Zhongli’s face under the streetlamps shouldn’t have been that pretty.

Holy shit, Childe abruptly realized. This was perfect. He should ask Zhongli out. Feelings shared, plus sweet, comfortable vibes… but then Zhongli pulled him along and they kept walking, and the longer they went in silence the more Childe lost his nerve. By the time they reached the car, Childe had no intention of asking him out, and the butterflies hadn’t ceased since the thought came to his head.

He was so damn nervous and it was so strange to him, so he stayed quiet, just watching Zhongli start his car and drive perfectly at the speed limit (it was so cute. I mean, who does that?).

When they got to the building and to their floor, Childe walked Zhongli to his door, as per tradition.

“Thank you,” Childe said. “For a fun time. Even if it was kinda scary and I never want to see half of your friends again.”

“Thank you for making it all bearable. Typically we speak of interesting topics such as foreign politics, and we occasionally have philosophical debates, but it even grows to bore me after a while,” Zhongli explained. “And this time was particularly tense.”

“Since when are politics interesting topics?” Childe laughed. “Anyway. Good night.”

“Night, Childe,” Zhongli said softly. “I will be coming over to your place for tea.”

“Of course,” Childe nodded. “Bye.”

Before he shut the door, he caught Zhongli take the tiny black rock out of his pocket and run his thumb along its smooth surface.

Childe nearly tripped five times just walking down the hall to his apartment. When he got inside, he collapsed onto his bed and squealed into his pillow, then rolled over and reaccounted the entire night to Lumine in an essay of a text. He typed for an hour.

When he finally turned his phone off and put it on mute because he needed good sleep (his sleep schedule was slowly becoming better after Zhongli learned he often watched YouTube until 4 am and scolded him), his thoughts finally started calming down.

When the buzzing, anxious thoughts were gone, and the layer of hyper joy turned to relaxation, one thought remained in focus: since when did Zhongli start calling him Childe?

—

Childe and Zhongli met up every day for tea or a walk, occasionally a strange idea like a museum or arcade disrupting the pattern. Childe spent most of his time trying to think of a way to ask Zhongli out.

He was at work one time, casually walking down the road holding his gun in one hand and his phone in the other, scrolling through Instagram while the people he was ‘debt collecting’ from were scrambling to their getaway car.

California Gurls started playing loudly from his phone and Childe saw that Lumine was calling him. The ringtone stopped when he pressed accept, holding the phone to his ear. He noticed the targets were getting to their car so he swiftly shot the two back tires, deflating them.

“Childe. What the hell did I say about shooting things while on the phone?!” Lumine barked.

“Whoopsies,” Childe replied.

“Anyway. I was listening to Party In The USA earlier,” Lumine continued. “And I got this thought.”

“Go on…”

“If I marry Ayaka, I want that to be on our playlist,” Lumine said. “And then I got thinking and made an entire hypothetical soundtrack for our sexy sunset beach wedding—”

“Dancing Queen better be on there.” Childe neared the enemy’s car, which was trying to start moving. He casually opened the passenger door and got inside, smiling at the driver and the criminals in the back seat. “Oh, and Starships.”

“Of course they’re on there,” Lumine scoffed. “Anyway, about the wedding. I wanted to ask. Would you be my bride’s maid? Bridesman? Whatever a male bestie of the bride is?”

“Lumine,” Childe paused, gasping. “I’d be honored!”

“And you’re totally bringing Zhongli. I want to see you both dressed so hot that everyone gets a nosebleed looking at you,” Lumine added.

“You know it, but I gotta put you on hold for a second, brb,” Childe said quickly.

He paused the call and faced the targets. The one in the driver's seat had just tried to kick him and he was not going to risk a cracked screen, so he secured his phone in his pocket before loading his gun.

“Alright, hand it over, scum,” he hissed.

“We don’t have anything for you Russian shits,” someone in the back scowled menacingly. Childe shot him in the knee.

He howled in pain and blood splattered the ceiling. The people in the car looked between Childe’s practiced bored expression and the bleeding man, then the driver slowly set his weapon, a knife, down in surrender.

“What are you doing? It’s just one guy. Take him out!” the third person—the most well-dressed—in the back row shouted. “Did you not just hear him on his call? He totally listens to white girl music! Easy kill, guys!”

“Okay, shut your Charlie Brown Walter White looking ass,” Childe glared at the man. “How dare you question my superior music tastes?! Starships is a fucking bop.”

“Don’t tell me he’s a Swiftie,” the driver whispered judgmentally.

Childe loaded his gun again and looked at him with crazed eyes.

“Shake It Off and Paper Rings carried me through high school,” Childe grinned. “You better take that back, hoe.”

The man scoffed and refused, so Childe decided to kill them all. He came out of the car, wiping blood splatters off of his face. A group of teenagers gasped and screamed at the sight of him.

“They had it coming,” he shrugged, and all of them took off yelling for the police. Childe shrugged again because he was used to it.

“Tartaglia?”

Oh shit. Childe looked down the sidewalk, and in front of a bookstore stood Zhongli, carrying a tiny bag and wearing his tight-fitting work suit.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, walking over.

“No,” Childe said. “Stained my clothes a bit, though. Good thing work calls for a red shirt requirement, right?”

“You have a cut,” Zhongli pointed out.

Next thing Childe knew, Zhongli’s fingers were running over his cheek bone, and he felt a sting where he touched. He barely processed it, though, because he was blushing so heavily at their proximity. Their eyes locked for a moment.

“Let’s get you home.” The brunette suggested. “You may need stitches.”

“I can just go back to work tomorrow, we have a doctor there in the mornings,” Childe reasoned. “Or I can do it myself—”

Childe stopped when he saw Zhongli’s concerned expression, immediately shutting up. Holy shit the butterflies were partying and they had too much vodka, he felt like his stomach was flipping upside down. Zhongli stood close and he looked worried. Childe rarely had anyone who really cared for him like that.

“Nevermind,” he shook his head, sliding his gun into its holster and offering his newly-freed arm towards Zhongli’s.

They walked arm-in-arm towards Zhongli’s car, which was parked on the street. The drive to the apartment was pretty quiet, so Childe turned on the radio and American Pie came on.

“Damn, what a banger,” Childe started nodding along to the guitar.

“We started singing, bye-bye, Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to The Levee, but The Levee was dry,” Zhongli sang, much to Childe’s joy.

“Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey in Rye,” Childe continued enthusiastically. “Hah, see?! I don’t just listen to white girl music!”

“Who accused you of such a thing?” Zhongli asked while the music played in the background.

“Some bitches. Don’t worry, they’re dead,” Childe grinned. “Hah. If only they knew my favorite song wasn’t even in English. Anyway, can we talk about the fact that you know American Pie?”

“My younger cousin, Xiao, often listens to such music,” Zhongli explained. “I learned many songs from him.”

“Western music like that is really popular in Russia,” Childe said. “So my siblings know a lot of songs like that, too. Once I learned English, I devoted myself to memorizing them so I could sing them accurately to my family. You have no idea how much Lana del Rey I know.”

“That is very sweet of you,” Zhongli noted.

Childe grinned to himself but covered it with a hand and looked out the window to his right, blushing. “I guess I could say the same about you for your cousin.”

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. Childe and Zhongli were both kind of flustered, in addition to the pain catching up with Childe. The cut running deep along his cheek bone was dripping blood down his face and a painful stinging was radiating from it.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli questioned.

Childe realized he was grimacing and pressing his fingers into the skin below the cut.

“It’s fine,” he said.

Zhongli didn’t push and instead turned the music up, knowing that Childe’s mood was always lifted when his favorite songs came on.

“This one is for the boys with the booming system, top down, AC with the cooler system. When he come up in the club, he be blazin' up, got stacks on deck like he savin' up,” Childe rapped as Super Bass came on, then stopped to hiss in a breath.

Zhongli drove a bit faster.

—

Childe was spread out on Zhongli’s amber-colored couch, laying on his back, his head on Zhongli’s lap while the Chinese prepared to stitch up his face. He kept his eyes glued to Zhongli’s standard-issue LED lights in the ceiling.

“I learned how to handle emergency medical care from my friend Dr. Baizhu,” he said. “He’s a pharmacist, although he studied to be a doctor for nearly a decade.”

“I’m in good hands, then,” Childe remarked. “I’d still trust you without the experience, though.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I certainly wouldn’t trust myself and would have taken you to a professional otherwise,” Zhongli replied, threading his stitches after applying disinfectant.

“To an American hospital?!” Childe exclaimed. “They’d ask how I got injured and why I’m covered in blood and the police would be called and my entire job would be over! Plus, that’s like, half my paycheck for a check-up. I’d rather stitch myself with yarn. Are you sure this is even a stitching-necessary situation, anyway? Because I could just do a band-aid—”

“Brace yourself,” Zhongli ordered.

Childe grimaced as Zhongli carefully and professionally brought the stitching thread through his skin. He bunched up his fists and took deep breaths until it was over. Zhongli tied each stitch off tightly and cut them with tiny embroidery scissors.

“Can we watch a movie now?” Childe pleaded, gingerly poking his face.

Zhongli grabbed his hand and held it back, glaring at him so he’d stop bothering the wound. Childe still looked at him pleadingly and Zhongli sighed, opening Hulu. While he did so, Childe boredly tried to distract himself from his pain by looking around his neighbor’s apartment. Everything was as it was before… except, Childe noticed, Zhongli's glass display case was different.

He kept his most valuable antiques and books in there, the ones he’d found and collected after years of searching. On the middle shelf, at eye level, was a tiny collection of five items. Two rocks and three seashells, lined up front and center. Childe’s heart leapt to his throat and he almost felt like crying. Zhongli was so amazing.

They drank tea and hung out until a movie was finished, and then Zhongli told Childe to head to his apartment and get some rest, then visit his designated doctor tomorrow. Childe promised he would, but definitely wouldn’t actually do it.

When he got to his room after waving goodbye to Zhongli, he took a quick selfie and sent it to Lumine, texting #LookingFine along with it. He got a FaceTime request a second later.

“Girl, what the hell happened?” Lumine asked. “You leave me on hold for three hours and then text an image of you all bloody?!”

“Zhongli stitched me up,” Childe said with a grin. “Then we watched a movie.”

“Damn, that’s really sexy of him,” Lumine noted.

“Exactly!” Childe closed the door behind him and walked towards his bedroom.

“Did he like, romantically brush the bangs out of your face to observe your cut, then tsk softly and kiss the pain away?” Lumine questioned.

“No kisses, but yes to the first part,” Childe laughed.

“You know what this reminds me of? Stitches by Shawn Mendes,” Lumine gasped.

“Yeah, but Zhongli’s not leaving me and I’m not begging him to come back,” Childe reasoned. “We’re not even together yet.”

“Speaking of.” Lumine adjusted her position, and Childe could see that she was still out and about, probably walking down a sidewalk. “When are you going to ask him out, you shit-faced whore?!”

“I was thinking that I might just watch him exist for a few months more.”

“You weak, cowardly, sissy, chicken, bastard fish—”

“Whoa, calm down, I am not a bastard fish.”

“Ask him out, you dipshit!”

—

Childe found no problems at work the next day. He still acquired the money (he sent some subordinates to take it from the trunk of the bloody vehicle) and the clean-up crew worked their wondrous magic and cleared any evidence of murder. They even paid off those witnesses.

Nobody really questioned his perfect little stitches. That was just part of the job; sometimes people would come to work bloody. It was usual.

Childe found himself twirling in his office chair, feet on his desk, reading over a report while running his free hand along the stitches absentmindedly.

“Sir,” someone knocked on his door.

He looked up and saw Manager Andrei.

“Because you’ve cleared up all of our uncooperative clients in the recent months, as the manager of this bank, I’d like to award you a day off. I have the approval of the Tsaritsa,” Andrei announced. “We’re greatly appreciative of your efforts. Northland Bank thanks you for handling our toughest tasks and ensuring smooth operations.”

Childe tossed the report to the side and stood up with a grin.

“Thanks, man!” Childe exclaimed.

“It’s an honor having an Executive Harbinger at our location,” Andrei nodded. “Now that we aren’t backed up, I’ll warn you that you may be sent to another American bank as the representative, to handle their problems.”

Childe tilted his head questioningly. “I’ve been stationed in LA for years.”

“Yes, well,” Andrei shuffled awkwardly. “The Miami location has good protection from their police and experiences less trouble. Our bank in New York is typically calm… this year, though, they’ve been backlogged after several of their best agents retired, and they may need your expertise.”

“So you’re saying there’s a possibility that I might need to go to the…” Childe took a deep breath. “East coast.”

“...yes.”

“But the east coast is foreign, there's no film studios. It's cold and dark, no valet parking!” Childe exclaimed. “And all the girls have different noses!

“Harbinger Tartaglia, those are Legally Blonde lyrics…”

“It’s how I express distress.”

Andrei looked at him warily and he barked a laugh.

“I’m just kidding! I’ll send some of our agents over to NYC to replace those retired ones,” Childe shrugged. “We can handle everything here without any agents because you’ve got me, right?”

“That’s true. Our operatives have been without jobs for a while…” Andrei remembered.

“Boom, crisis averted, I’m going to go home now,” Childe stood and walked towards the door, patting Andrei on the shoulder on the way out. “Tell the Tsaritsa I’m staying here for a while.”

“If I remember correctly, when you first arrived, you despised the heat and basically demanded a transfer somewhere colder. Is there some reason you might want to stay, now?”

Childe paused just outside his office. Usually he’d say something like ‘shut up, Andrei, that’s personal,’ but he had a good point. He had hated the sun, hated how fake everyone seemed, despised the overplayed songs on the radio and was soon bored of the culture.

Then he became obsessed with American pop (because it’s good, shut up) and he met Lumine. He got a motorcycle and an okay apartment with a good view of the bright city at night. He liked how easily he could pay off the cops, how happy and nice (most) of the people were in LA.

He ran his fingers over the stitches, smiling, thinking of Zhongli’s display case.

“Shut up, Andrei. That’s personal.”

—

Childe should have realized that getting home early meant he’d see Zhongli, but he was too busy thinking about Zhongli to think about seeing him in real life, you know.

He stood casually in the elevator, tie loose but orange dress-shirt tucked neatly in his gray work pants, hair disheveled from his motorcycle ride, when Zhongli entered.

He was wearing his normal brown suit, his hair in its tight low ponytail, eyes gentle as always. He was carrying a bag of groceries; he must have got off work and went shopping right after. Seeing as Childe had weird hours, he’d never seen Zhongli this time in the afternoon.

“Need help?” Childe asked.

“No, but thank you,” Zhongli shook his head. “It is not a heavy bag, I’ve only bought detergent.”

Childe nodded in understanding, but his heart was fluttering. He felt it building up, the urge to ask Zhongli out. But no, it had to be perfect. Then again… it felt strangely familiar, this situation, and the feeling in his chest kept building anxiously until he was fidgeting with his tie.

“Do you wanna go out?”

They both froze. Shit, it just kind of found its way on his lips and he couldn’t stop it. He quickly tried to hide his blush and look away, but Zhongli’s hand gently wrapped around his own and he startled, facing his neighbor.

“I’d love to, Childe,” Zhongli said.

Childe couldn’t take it anymore. The built up anxiety was forcing its way out of him, and the only thing he could think of doing was smiling like a lovestruck idiot and wrapping his arms around Zhongli in the tightest hug of his life, crushing the grocery bag between them.

“You won’t regret it,” Childe reassured into the brunette’s shoulder. “Oh, Zhongli, I swear I’ll be amazing. I’ll be the best boyfriend ever and give you tons of things and bring you on dates all the time! You have no idea how nervous I was, I didn’t even mean to ask you, oh my god, I—”

“It’s fine,” Zhongli gently broke apart from the hug. “There is no need to treat me any different than before. You already give me gifts and pay for dinner. I simply enjoy being around you, Childe. There is no need to change anything.”

“No, but I’ll get you expensive shit, and—”

“Would it be so strange to say that my most valued items are two rocks from the street and three seashells found on a nearby beach?” Zhongli questioned.

Childe felt like crying. “This is not how I expected this to go.”

“I have to admit, me neither,” Zhongli chuckled, reaching over and brushing Childe’s bangs from his eyes. “Although, it is unabashedly you.”

The elevator reached their floor and Childe walked, hand-in-hand with Zhongli, towards his neighbor’s apartment. Childe opened the door for him using his key, making it easier for Zhongli to get in with his bag of detergent.

“Will I be seeing you tomorrow?” Childe asked.

Zhongli smiled and nodded. He was standing inside his apartment, door wide open, facing Childe who still stood in the hall. Leaning close for just a second, he kissed Zhongli’s cheek, then waved goodbye and walked off.

His hands were shaking with nervous adrenaline as he stumbled into his apartment, setting his work satchel down beside the door and walking to his room, collapsing into his bed face-first, screaming into his pillow until his face was red and he couldn’t breathe.

He rolled on his back, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt, taking out his phone and clicking on Lumine’s contact.

He started a call and she picked up a second later, wasting no time in screaming with way too much enthusiasm;

“LUMINE!”