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Dazai slowly made his way to Mori’s office, ready for their same routine. He goes on missions, then Mori gives him a check-up, making sure he’s still in good condition. Much to Dazai’s dismay, Mori occasionally calls him in for surprise check-ups, to clean his self-harm. Dazai never cleans his wounds himself, simply letting them get infected, just because he can’t stand the pain of the rubbing alcohol. It always seemed to just make his injuries feel worse, instead of preventing more pain and properly disinfecting him, like Mori said it did. Mori always makes sure to clean Dazai’s wounds thoroughly and he was almost completely sure Mori enjoyed his hatred for those check-ups more than anything. Dazai hates it, more than most things, other than his failed attempts. He can’t stand being so vulnerable, especially around someone like Mori, whose only goal is to manipulate him, and take control of him. All he could do was sigh, as he entered Mori’s check-up room.
“Ah, Dazai. I was expecting you,”
Dazai glared at Mori, but said nothing, as he sat down in his usual chair. Mori smiled slightly at Dazai, before speaking again, clearly amused by his child like sulking.
“Come on, don’t look at me like that. I know you hate check-ups, but they are necessary for you to remain in prime condition and carry out your duties,” Mori spoke exasperatedly, as he sighed and retrieved his equipment. Dazai scoffed, but couldn’t find the words to express how he felt, knowing that would only mean being even more vulnerable than he already was and that wasn’t something he could bear the thought of.
“So quiet today, that’s unusual for you,” Mori remarked, as he was setting up his equipment. Dazai scowled, wishing he could just scream for Mori to shut up, already far past his limit of patience for the day, but instead he opted for a different approach, too tired to deal with the consequences of insulting the boss.
“Wow. So observant of you,” Dazai spoke sarcastically, but knew that it was really mostly true. Mori understood more about him than most; he knew how to tell, when Dazai was faking emotions and he knew better than anyone else that Dazai was really just a misunderstood child, though he tried his hardest to put on such a terrifying act. Mori often let Dazai believe that he was in control of their conversations and what information he shared about himself, but Mori had his ways of making things go the way he wanted.
Mori was silent for a moment, letting Dazai’s sarcasm slide, because that wasn’t the hill he wanted to die on with Dazai. He would allow the small things, but if he stepped too far out of line, he wouldn’t be as forgiving, so for now he decided to choose his battles and decided that this wasn’t worth it.
“Dazai, I need you to remove your bandages for this check-up. I know this was meant to be a post-mission check-up, but I was already wanting to check on your self-harm anyway, so I might as well kill two birds with one stone,” Mori spoke firmly, but not with aggression, making sure Dazai understood this was not a choice, but an order.
Dazai stayed still for a moment, cursing his recent moment of weakness, as he reluctantly pulled away his neck and arms’ bandages. His neck only had old scars, however Dazai had treated his arms less kindly. Red and irritated cuts covered his arms, clearly untreated.
“Dazai, do you understand that you can’t avoid rubbing alcohol forever? You will get an infection and I need you to be healthy. Please just let me treat you without a fuss, it would be easier for both of us,” Mori pleaded with Dazai, as Dazai internally thought, “You mean easier for you. This is anything, but easy for me and you know that”. However, Dazai chose to keep his thoughts to himself, as he pushed down his anger and hurt, then reluctantly gave Mori one of his arms, trying to get it over with quickly.
Mori smiled, god he hated that smile, it was full of mockery and he’d do anything to get to wipe that smile off of his stupid face. Dazai refrained himself from becoming violent, knowing Mori wouldn’t take too kindly to retaliation for his subtle, but not unnoticed jabs against Dazai.
Dazai winced and clenched his fist, as he felt Mori rub the rubbing alcohol deep into his cuts. Mori kept treating Dazai’s wounds, despite Dazai’s displeasure. What Dazai hated the most about these check-ups wasn’t the pain, but it was really how Mori lied about his motives for the check-ups. Mori couldn’t really think he believed those bullshit lies about caring for his health, right? His real goal was obvious, he showed it in his face every time, as it seemingly never got old for him. It was plain to see that what Mori really wanted was to mess with him.
“Good, good. It’s not that bad, now is it?” Mori asked mockingly, as he dipped a cotton ball in more rubbing alcohol and harshly pressed it into Dazai’s arm to punctuate his statement, only infuriating Dazai more. Mori knew how to get under his skin better than anyone and it irked him like nothing ever had before.
“I hate you. I hate you more than anything,” Dazai spoke angrily through his clenched teeth. Mori chuckled and smiled, before speaking.
“Oh, but you don’t. You can tell yourself that all you want, but you’ll eventually like having someone who understands you on such a deep level. Trust me,” Mori spoke softly, still smiling, only managing to test Dazai’s patience even more. Dazai stared up at him with cold eyes, but Mori saw through him.
“Trust you? Don’t make me laugh. You’re the last person I would ever trust,” Dazai spoke with an icy tone, which had the opposite effect than what Dazai wanted. Dazai wanted Mori to just finish the check-up and let him leave, but Dazai’s behavior only made Mori want to see more of this, as it was in some sick way something that Mori found amusing.
“Stop laughing. This isn’t funny,” Dazai muttered through his gritted teeth, but this sight only seemed to make Mori more determined to push Dazai to the edge.
“This may not be funny to you, but I find it quite hilarious. You say that you hate vulnerability and that you hate me, but you always seem to be your most vulnerable with me. A bit ironic, is it not?” Mori spoke calmly, as he picked up bandages, to rebandage Dazai’s properly treated arm. Once his treated arm was bandaged, Mori then reached out his hand for Dazai’s other arm, but Dazai shook his head and held his arm close to his chest, trying to keep it from Mori.
Mori sighed in frustration, but quickly reached forward and yanked Dazai’s untreated arm towards him. Dazai tried to pull it back, but Mori’s grip was much stronger than he’d anticipated. Mori roughly pressed a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol onto Dazai’s arm.
“Damn it, that hurts! Let go!” Dazai shouted, while he tried to pull his arm back and he sucked in air sharply through his teeth, as he tried to refrain from making too many pained noises, so Mori didn’t gain more satisfaction. Mori simply shook his head and kept treating Dazai’s injuries, despite his clear protests.
“Maybe instead of complaining, be grateful I’m helping you at all. I don’t have to help you, but I’m doing this just for you, out of the kindness of my heart,” Mori spoke softly, as he finished treating Dazai’s other arm. Dazai’s eyes widened out of disbelief, unable to comprehend what was going through Mori’s head.
“I don’t want your help! I hate-” Dazai shouted with anger, but Mori quickly cut him off with a slap to the face. It wasn’t very strong, only strong enough to make Dazai shut up.
“Stop saying dumb things that you don’t mean, you know better than that, Dazai,” Mori spoke calmly, as he reached for bandages again. He then began to bandage Dazai’s arm and acted as if nothing happened. Dazai stared at Mori with wide eyes, but had no more protests and sat still.
As soon as Mori finished putting all of Dazai’s bandages back on, Dazai darted out of Mori’s check-up room, not even bothering to wait and let Mori examine him for injuries from his most recent mission. After a while he stopped running, but only once Dazai was sure that Mori was a good enough distance away. Dazai walked his way back to his shipping container and decided that now was a better time than ever for another attempt. Once he was back in his shipping container, he grabbed a few random pill bottles. He quickly opened the caps and started downing each bottle.
Once Dazai had left, Mori knew Dazai was acting stranger than usual. As a precaution, Mori sent one of his subordinates to keep an eye on Dazai. It wasn’t long before Mori received the call, that Dazai had been found passed out in his shipping container. Mori had Dazai brought back to his check-up room immediately, simply bringing Dazai right back to what he wanted to avoid. Mori had Dazai’s stomach pumped and damage was minimal, due to how quickly Dazai had been found.
Dazai woke up quite some time later, scowling as he realized he failed yet again. Mori stood over him with that sickening and disgusting smile, which only made Dazai wish he’d never woken up at all.
“Welcome back, Dazai. Are you ready for your check-up?”