Work Text:
The sun is just beginning to rise when Stede wakes, still wrapped in Ed’s arms. He rises up on his elbow gingerly and leans forward slowly, tugging the curtain softly to ensure that no light comes through the window that would wake the sleeping Ed beside him. Ed snuffles in his sleep and rolls over and Stede sighs in relief. Now that he is no longer pinned down by his lover’s arm he is free to creep to the end of the bed, hop out, and tiptoe across the cabin. He closes the cabin door behind him extremely softly and slowly, holding his breath for a few seconds after he pushes the door closed, listening to hear if Ed is stirring in the room. Not a peep. Perfect. He descends the stairs to their first mate’s cabin, thrilled at his escape.
As he moves towards the door he can feel his body relaxing in anticipation of what’s coming. His joints stiff from sleep and late night amorous activity are nearly vibrating at the relief they are about to feel. He allows himself to pause at the door before knocking just so he can luxuriate in the sound and the smell emanating from the room.
Shortly after knocking Izzy greets him at the door. In his hands he is offering up the hot and steaming object of Stede’s desire: a perfectly brewed cup of coffee.
He takes it, raises it to his nose and inhales deeply.
“It’s perfect, Izzy, as always. Thank you.”
“Yeah, don’t mention it”, Izzy steps aside motioning for Stede to come in. “Edward can’t brew coffee for shit.”
Stede shudders at the memory- mornings when he doesn’t wake before Ed he has to choke down the coffee Ed brews- if one can even call it brewing. He perches on Izzy’s desk chair, sips, and sighs luxuriously.
“Ed’s coffee is only coffee in the loosest sense of the word”, Stede says. “It's liquid. It may have at one point in its short life been a coffee bean. Maybe.”
Izzy snorts. “Maybe, but you wouldn’t know would you? It’s all masked in sugar.”
The coffee is strong with just a hint of milk to bring out the flavor. Izzy has rigged up one of Stede’s tea pots with a device that Roach uses to mash potatoes- after several minutes of soaking in the heated water the beans- freshly ground with a mortar and pestle- are pressed down to keep them from mixing in the coffee. He really is very clever at tinkering with things, Stede has to give him that.
“Don’t know why you can’t just tell him to his face that he makes shit coffee.”
“Izzy!” Stede balks. “All of the mornings that you have woken in his bed and I don’t believe you’ve ever said such a thing to him either.”
“I have never once drunk that swill he concocts”, Izzy contradicted.
“But have you ever told him?” Stede raised his eyebrows, “that the reason you rush off so quick in the morning is that you hate his coffee?”
Izzy scoffs. “Dunno. Suppose not.”
“Well there you are.” Stede gestures with the cup meaningfully. “I’m not the only one who’s a coward about it.”
“Oh fuck off,” Izzy chuckles good naturedly. “Maybe I’ve just got shit to do in the morning. Maybe I’m just not a cuddler.” Stede shoots him a look that is one hundred percent calling his bluff.
“Alright fine”, Izzy pronounces as he downs the rest of the coffee. “I fucking love cuddling with that man and his coffee’s fucking shit.” He rolls his eyes and continues sheepishly, “And I’m too afraid of hurting his feelings over something as pointless as coffee that I rush off in the mornings under the guise of a better fucking work ethic than I’ve got. Happy now, Bonnet?”
“Yes, very.” Stede beams at him with a shit-eating grin.
“Alright, you’ve had your coffee, get the fuck out”, Izzy returns voice full of warmth, taking the cup back and squeezing Stede’s shoulder affectionately.
***
It isn’t many days later when Ed starts acting strangely. He intercepts a low stakes spat between Izzy and Stede about navigation with a meaningful look and a plea to “let’s not go to bed angry, loves” even though he hadn’t been part of the argument or angry with either of them.
He approaches Stede on deck a few hours after one of Stede’s “sip-n-bitch” coffee sessions with Izzy, kisses him deeply, wraps his arms around him and whispers in his ear, “It’s no problem, love”, and flits off to go discuss some elaborate meal plan he’s concocting with Roach. Stede blinks in confusion, puts his hand up to this mouth and huffs behind it attempting to check for coffee breath. What had given him away?
And for his part Izzy is none too happy about how often Ed has started bringing up Stede in their…intimate moments. Izzy’s always been completely fine with this arrangement the three of them have, but his time with Ed is his, and Bonnet’s is Bonnet’s and never the twain shall meet, thank God. So he’s pretty flummoxed when he raises his head from between Ed’s legs to hear Ed whispering, “Stede’s very good at that move too, don’t you think, Iz?” with a confusingly significant look. “Oh, fuck off, Eddie”, he growls and resumes his ministrations.
***
About a week later they are at port in the Republic of Pirates and the crew have all left in pursuit of drinks and frivolity at Spanish Jackie’s. When Ed had had Roach deliver several trays of food to the Captain’s cabin Izzy had assumed Stede had some frilly romantic dinner planned for the two of them, and he’d looked forward to some time alone on watch with just the stars and the quiet for company.
He’s not prepared to be told, fairly firmly, by Ed that he’s joining them for dinner. Nor does he understand why Bonnet looks so similarly confused sitting at the elaborately set table in the cabin. Izzy doesn’t know if he’s seen so many different types of forks in his life. Christ.
He sits, unfolds the lacey napkin at his place into his lap, and grips the full wine glass that’s starting to tilt with the rock of the ship. This is why you don’t use wine glasses on a ship, he thinks, exasperated. But this is, first and foremost, Bonnet’s ship so, go figure.
Ed begins by spooning-what is that?...caviar?- onto their plates. Izzy does not partake. Eating caviar obtained in the Republic of Pirates is like begging for food poisoning. Bonnet must know this because he’s poking at the mess nervously. He catches Izzy’s eye and Izzy tries to telegraph “What the fuck is going on?” Bonnet gives him a shrug. Ed, oblivious, sits down and raises his wine glass.
“Now we’ve been through a lot of shit together in the past few years.”
Understatement of the century, Izzy thinks.
“But I do hope you both know how much I love you” Izzy’s heart softens slightly. He does know that. “So I’d just like to make a toast”, Ed continues, “to our little space ship that we’ve made here”.
“Safe space”, Izzy and Stede correct simultaneously. Izzy has to bite his lip to keep from laughing.
“Alright, dickfucks, you knew what I meant. I’m trying to make a statement here.”
“And you’re doing fab, love”, Stede coos. “But what kind of statement are you going for?”
“What I’m saying”, Ed takes a deep breath and continues, “is that I love you both”. He pauses and looks at them with an utterly indecipherable expression and Izzy wonders if he’s taken to the rhino horn again.
But his eyes seem focused enough. In fact he’s nearly making doe eyes at both of them and he seems to think they are picking up on whatever unspoken message he’s imagining.
Izzy gives it a beat before, “Edward, we fucking know you love us both, what are you on about?”
“It’s like pulling teeth with you two!” Ed slams the wine glass down. “I’m trying to tell you that I love you both and I want you to be happy and I fucking know that you’re…you’re…fucking!” As soon as he gets the last word out he tips the wine glass back and drains it.
“What?” Once again he and Bonnet are speaking in union like a couple of damned school girls.
“Um…hold the phone”, Bonnet interjects
“Hold the what? Whatever, not important, Edward, are you delirious? Drunk? You must be to think I’d ever be caught dead with this curly-topped, walking piece of Rococo ridiculousness!”
“Alright, yes, Izzy, he’s gets the point…Oh, wait, I actually really like that.”
“It was good, right?”
Stede lifts his glass slightly to Izzy in agreement. “And Ed, let me just say, if you think Izzy and I are making love then you must think I get off on a man who consistently sounds like he tied his ascot too tight and forgot to loosen it.”
Izzy bursts into laughter. “Yeah, touche Bonnet. Ed does get off on it though”, he theatrically whispers before winking at Ed.
“Alright, shut up you two!” Ed explodes. “I’ve seen Stede sneaking out of your cabin, before dawn, in his fucking night gown!” He looks like a fish ashore gaping at them both.
“Oh Edward”, Stede is shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut in silent laughter.
“And that’s fine, okay?” Ed holds up both hands in a gesture of surrender. “I just wish you’d told me! I think we should be able to be open about these things!”
“Do you want to tell him, lover?” Stede says to Izzy through hopeless giggles, being sure to emphasize the last word for effect.
“Oh, shut up Bonnet”, Izzy’s barely able to keep himself from dissolving into hilarity as well. “Look”, he puts his hand over Ed’s on the table, rubbing his knuckles affectionately. “Bonnet and I love you too. And we tolerate each other.”
Bonnet makes a noise of indignant protest.
“Alright, fine, I fucking love the ponce”, he lowers his voice, allows it for a rare moment to go sincere, “not like I love you, Eddie.”
Ed has this adorable embarrassed pout and his cheeks are going pink. “But…in the mornings…what are the two of you doing all the time?”
Bonnet takes Ed’s other hand, stroking it in a similar manner.
“Edward…darling”, he says delicately. “Your coffee is disgusting.”
***
The sun is just starting to rise when Izzy wakes, his arms wrapped around Edward, his nose pressed into his shoulder blades. He sniffs lightly and can tell that Bonnet is awake, on deck and has set the coffee to brewing. He scoots to the end of the bed, buckles on his prosthetic leg and dresses. Edward stirs and pulls him back gently, just enough to press a kiss to his wrist.
“Go and have your disgusting bitter bean water with your bitchy best friend”, he says, eyes closed and smiling.
And Izzy does.