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Catra frowned down at the book in front of her as a shadow crossed overhead, blocking the sun (and Catra’s reading light).
She was seated on one of the many benches that were scattered around the recess area. The rest of her class ran around the playground, tossing a ball or chasing each other around the various play structures that littered the fenced in field. Catra had wanted to stay inside and read, but her teacher wouldn’t allow her to be in the classroom unattended, so she’d decided to continue her chapter outside instead of joining the other kids in their recess.
“Are you in trouble or something?”
She glanced up, coming face to face with a girl from her class - Octavia - who was staring at Catra with her arms crossed.
“No?” She replied, annoyed. She was almost finished with the latest chapter and wanted to finish before returning to class for the scheduled math lesson.
“Why aren’t you playing, then?” She pressed, as though she didn’t believe her and was attempting to catch Catra in a lie.
“Because I don’t want to,” Catra huffed, dropping her gaze back to the book in her lap, hoping she’d take the hint and go back to playing with her friends.
Moments later, the book was snatched from her hands.
“Hey!” She grabbed for the book, but Octavia held it just out of her reach, “Give it back!”
The girl laughed, glancing back at her group of friends, “Reading is boring . No wonder you don’t have any friends to play with.”
Catra clenched her fists tightly, glaring up at her. She could just hit her, but the teacher would call home and her mother would be furious that Catra had gotten into trouble again.
Catra made another attempt to grab the book, but Octavia dodged and she found herself sprawled on the ground as she lost her footing.
However, Octavia’s laughter at her misfortune was cut short as another girls voice rang out
“ Hey! Leave her alone!”
Catra looked up, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes to see who had stepped in front of her.
Adora Grey.
Adora was another girl from her class. She was well liked, from what Catra had seen. All the other kids asked to play with her at recess - and the teachers always praised her work.
Catra had never even spoken to the girl. Where Adora was sweet and friendly, Catra was distant and quiet. She’d never had the courage to try befriending her on the few occasions they’d been in the same group during class projects.
Adora, who had a few inches on Catra, easily snatched the book from Octavia’s hand. She clung to the book almost protectively, frowning at the other girl disapprovingly.
“It’s not nice to make fun of people,” Adora said matter of factly, dusting off the book as she spoke,“It’s really mean, you know?”
“She's reading during recess,” Octavia defended, crossing her arms, “She’s weird .”
“Well, I think she’s cool!” Adora shot back, mimicking her stance, “I wish I could read as good as her.”
Catra didn’t really understand why Adora was sticking up for her. Even so, it was a nice feeling, it almost felt like she had a friend. It left a strange, warm feeling in her chest that Catra had never felt before.
Octavia seemed unfazed, rolling her eyes and muttering something before walking off to rejoin her friends in their game of freeze tag.
Adora knelt next to Catra on the ground.
“Here’s your book back,” Adora held out the book, a tentative smile on her face, “I’m sorry she was being a jerk.”
Catra felt flustered all of a sudden. She wanted to thank Adora, but the words lodged in her throat.
Gently, she took the book, hands curling protectively around it, her tail twitching nervously behind her.
“It’s fine,” Catra muttered, face reddening in embarrassment at her barely audible tone.
Adora hummed as if she didn’t notice, “Well, I think reading is cool. I bet you’re super smart from reading all those books!”
She poked the corner of Catra’s book, blue eyes widening at the amount of pages.
“Like this one! It’s got like a gazillion pages. It must be pretty interesting.”
She spoke the last word slowly, sounding out the word as if she was unsure how to say it. It sounded a bit odd, but Adora seemed quite proud of herself.
Catra opened her mouth, working up the courage to thank her, maybe even tell her about the plot of the book, but someone across the playground called out Adora’s name, catching her attention.
Catra clamped her mouth shut as Adora waved to her friend, ears flattening against her head as Adora stood to leave.
Adora shot Catra a cute little wave, her sweet smile a permanent fixture on her face,“I’ll see you in class, Catra!”
The girl skipped away, her blonde ponytail swaying behind her as she rushed back to her friends.
Catra frowned, watching her go. She felt a little sad that Adora had rushed off so quickly, but tried to brush it off as she pulled herself up and returned to the bench.
However, all she could focus on was the distant sounds of laughter coming from the other side of the playground. The warm feeling in her chest dissipated, turning ice cold and making way to a new feeling. One familiar to Catra, but not one that had ever bothered her until now.
Loneliness.
***
The arcade had been open for only a few months. And Catra had spent every day of those few months scrounging up enough money and loose change to play every game at least once.
Catra marched up to the front of the arcade, two toned eyes taking in all the prizes lining the wall and in the glass cases just out of her reach.
“Hi there!” The woman behind the register leaned over the counter to look at Catra, “Are you lost-?”
Catra plopped her piggy bank onto the counter with a thunk, the change rattling in its cat-shaped prison as Catra dumped the contents onto the space between them.
The woman stared at her.
“How many tokens can I get with that?” Catra prompted after a long stretch of silence.
The woman - whose name tag read ‘Netossa’ - cleared her throat and reluctantly began shuffling through the pile, counting up the cash.
Netossa paused about halfway through, glancing back down to Catra, who stared back blankly.
“Where’d you get all this, kid?”
Catra shrugged.
“Alright,” Netossa said slowly, eyeing Catra with suspicion, “Where are your parents?”
“Where are yours?”
Wordlessly, Netossa grabbed a sizable bucket of arcade tokens and slid it across the counter. “I don’t get paid enough for this. Have fun, kid.”
Catra grinned, sliding her now empty piggy back into her backpack and rushing off with the bucket before the woman had a chance to change her mind.
After a few hours of constant gameplay, Catra had amassed a sizable amount of tickets that were being stashed alongside her piggy bank. Truthfully, she didn’t really want any of the prizes they had to offer, but Catra figured she could trade them in exchange for more tokens.
Catra was locked in a grueling battle with the Skee Ball machine when she heard that laugh again. She fumbled the ball and it landed painfully on her foot, but she didn’t even notice.
Adora was stationed at some basketball game, the screen showcasing her score as she pulled her tickets out of the slot and excitedly showed her parents the loot she’d acquired.
“Beat that, Adam!” Adora challenged, grinning at her twin brother, who Catra recognized from the class next door to her own.
She didn’t hear his response, quickly ducking her head before Adora could notice her watching. A part of her wanted to go over and see if Adora would like some of her tokens, or see if they could play together, but Catra had never been good at making friends and didn’t want to risk embarrassing herself and making Adora think she was weird.
So, Catra took a deep breath, running a hand over her unruly curls, and returned her focus to her nemesis - Mr. Skee Ball.
***
Catra was sitting near the front, counting her tickets up (and debating taking another go at the claw machine) when she saw Adora from the corner of her eye.
Adora had a fistful of tickets clenched in her hand as she approached the counter with her mother.
“Adora,” Her mother laughed, “You still have tokens, you don’t have to buy anything yet.”
“But I know what I want!” Adora insisted.
Against Catra’s better judgement, she peeked over to watch as Adora pointed out her target: a fluffy stuffed unicorn hung on the wall next to a NERF gun.
It was cute, Catra supposed, but she didn’t see why Adora would want to spend all her tickets on just the one toy. Catra knew that the prizes on the wall were more expensive than the small ones in the cases. She squinted at the price for the unicorn. Eight hundred tickets.
Adora’s mother knelt beside her, “Sweetie, You don’t have enough tickets for that one yet. Let’s keep playing games and we’ll see, okay?”
Adora frowned, looking at the wall then back down to her own bucket of tokens. Catra guessed that Adora figured out the same thing she did - Adora didn’t have enough tokens to get that many tickets.
Adora nodded, looking up at her mom and clearly hiding disappointment, “Yeah, let’s keep playing.”
Catra felt a pang as she watched Adora return to the games. She’d clearly been hoping to get the unicorn from the moment she’d seen it and Catra wanted nothing more than for her to have it.
Catra stared down at her bundle of tickets, ears perking up in excitement when she remembered how many she’d acquired over the last few hours.
Catra nodded to herself, coming to a decision. Adora was getting that stupid unicorn, no matter what it cost. She owed Adora for helping her with Octavia, after all.
Catra marched up to the counter with all the determination a seven year old could muster and slapped her tickets onto the counter, making eye contact with the woman - Netossa - again.
Netossa sighed, opening her mouth to likely ask Catra what she wanted to buy. Catra didn’t give her the chance.
“Give me the unicorn.”
It was said with possibly a bit too much intensity, judging from Netossa’s tired expression.
“Unicorn.” Catra prompted again, crossing her arms when Netossa failed to move.
“Sure, kid,” Netossa collected the tickets before unhooking the cursed plushie from the wall and handing it over the counter.
Catra snatched it from her like it was precious. There was a tense, silent moment as Netossa raised an eyebrow at her.
“Thanks, bye.”
Catra turned on her heel and dove back into the game area, searching for Adora in the sea of children with their families.
She spotted her only moments later and all coherent thoughts flew out the window as she weaved through the crowd to reach Adora. Catra’s tail flicked excitedly and she mindlessly reached back to pat it down.
She was mere feet away when Catra realized the situation she was about to put herself in. Adora wasn’t alone, her family stood by her as they counted the tickets they’d earned from the last few rounds of their basketball game.
Catra felt her face redden as she came to a halt in front of Adora, it took an extreme amount of effort just to keep her ears from pinning themselves to her head and giving away how nervous she was.
Adora noticed her quickly, “Oh, hi Catra, I didn’t know you were here!”
Catra somehow managed a small wave. With a deep, steadying breath, she held out the stupidly fluffy unicorn.
Adora’s jaw dropped and Catra could feel the eyes of Adora’s family on her, but she forced herself to stay focused.
“I saw you at the front,” Catra began, her voice steadier than she’d thought it would be. With newfound confidence, she pressed on, “You seemed like you really wanted it.”
Adora slowly wrapped her hands around the plushie, looking almost flustered . Catra released her hold on the unicorn and stepped back.
Adora’s parents practically had hearts in their eyes when Catra lifted her head to meet their gaze.
“Oh, how sweet!” Her mother said, smiling encouragingly at Adora.
Her mothers words seemed to knock Adora out of her stupor. Adora flushed and after a moment, rushed forward, pulling Catra into a hug.
She let out a surprised trill, but found herself leaning into the embrace. It was warm and comforting in a way Catra had never experienced.
Adora pulled back and smiled brightly, “I wanna get you something too.”
“That’s really not-”
Catra faltered at Adora’s pleading eyes. She sighed, getting the feeling this would not be the last time she fell for them.
“If you must,” Catra relented, glad she was coming off a lot cooler than she felt.
Adora practically dragged her up to the front, eyeing the prizes in the glass cases.
“What do you want?” Adora asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
Catra shrugged, “I don’t really want anything.”
Adora hummed, then pointed to a case, “What about that?”
Catra leaned forward, inspecting the contents. The warm feeling from the playground came back in full force when she realized what she was looking at.
A gold heart shaped necklace with ‘BFF’ etched into the metal. It was probably one of the cheapest items in the entire arcade.
Catra loved it.
“Get two.”
Adora quirked an eyebrow at her, “Why?”
Catra smiled, pressing a teasing finger against Adora’s forehead, “One for you, one for me. Duh .”
Adora grinned slowly, trading in her tickets quickly and passing Catra one of the necklaces, their fingers brushing as she did so.
Catra’s heart skipped a beat. She didn’t understand why.
She pulled the necklace over her head, cradling the heart shaped pendant in her hand, “I like it.”
“Me too,” Adora agreed, putting her own necklace on, “You’re my best friend now, right? Forever?”
Catra looked at her then. Really looked at her. Bright blue eyes, shimmering with affection. Golden blonde hair tied back except for a small, silly poof above her forehead. A soft, sweet smile that Catra found perfect despite the small gap between Adora’s teeth. And her laugh . A carefree, happy sound that got more endearing every time she heard it. Everything about Adora was truly and unapologetically beautiful .
Catra doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of hearing that laugh. No matter how much time passes, no matter how much things change. She’d never tire of Adora.
“Yeah,” Catra said softly, “Yeah, I think I could live with that.”
***
To say that Adora was excited was an understatement.
Sure, Catra had come over for sleepovers plenty of times since they’d become friends in elementary school, but Adora had spent most of her summer break on vacation with her family and hadn’t seen her best friend in forever.
Adora had begged and pleaded with her parents to bring Catra along, of course, but Catra’s mother had declined the offer.
Her family had only returned from vacation a few days ago and Adora had practically jumped her parents once they’d unpacked to ask if Catra could come over.
Adora had been pacing for the better part of an hour, waiting for Catra to get there. Their vacation had only lasted a few weeks, but she missed her best friend more than she thought possible.
They’d been inseparable ever since that day in the arcade. A friendship blooming in the second grade and continuing to flourish well into middle school.
She glanced at her bed, seeing Swiftwind propped up against the pillows. The very same stuffed unicorn that had solidified their friendship back in that arcade.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Adora told the plushie defensively.
“Swiftwind might not be judging you, but I definitely am.”
Adora yelped and turned around.
Catra was leaning against the doorframe, giggling at Adora’s reaction. She had a nice laugh. High-pitched, gleeful, matched with a smile that never failed to make Adora smile.
Adora rushed over, scooping Catra up in a hug that made Catra let out the cutest little squeak. Adora knew that Catra was big on personal space, she’d seen Catra reject the touch of others plenty of times.
But never for Adora.
Catra leaned into Adora’s touch, as she always did. Her head snuggling into Adora’s neck and the sweet sound of her raspy purrs rumbling in her throat.
Adora giggled softly at the feeling, but didn’t say anything. She knew Catra was a bit embarrassed about sometimes being unable to control her purring.
Catra pulled back first, plopping onto Adora’s bed and side eyeing the stuffed unicorn now positioned next to her head.
“Your unicorn is staring at me, Adora,” Catra said, eyes narrowed as they stared into the lifeless eyes of Swiftwind.
“Maybe he likes you.”
“Gross, I’ll pass.”
“I think you should give him a chance,” Adora teased, sitting down next to Catra and pulling Swiftwind into her lap.
“Men are gross,” Catra poked the plushie, “Even in horse form.”
“What about Adam?” Adora questioned.
“I’ve seen his room. Gross.”
“What about Bow?” Adora continued, “He helped you with your art project last year!”
“He’s alright,” Catra frowned, “Still gross.”
“Sea Hawk?” Adora offered weakly, grinning at the sheer stupidity.
“Even if I wasn’t a lesbian, I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole,” Catra joked before slapping her hand over her mouth.
“Same,” Adora nodded sagely, then processed what Catra had said, “Wait, what-?”
Catra sat up quickly, looking at Adora with suspicion.
“Wait,” Catra said slowly, “Are you-?”
Catra gestured vaguely.
“Are you asking if I like girls?” Adora asked, “Because the answer is a resounding yes .”
Catra’s mouth quirked at that, but she didn’t say anything as she fell back onto the bed.
Adora laid down next to her friend, turning her head to face her. Catra seemed deep in thought, a red tint to her cheeks.
Slowly, Catra turned her head towards Adora. They stared at each other for awhile. It might have been seconds. It might have been an eternity. Neither of them spoke.
Adora had memorized every detail of Catra’s face long before now, but occupied herself with doing it again.
A soft sprinkling of freckles across her cheeks and nose, one eye a deep, electric blue. The other a flaming gold. Her nose - only inches from Adora’s - was scrunched up in the cute way it always was whenever Catra was thinking.
Her lips. Soft and inviting, upturned ever so slightly. The hints of a smile forming.
Briefly, Adora wondered what they’d feel like against her own.
Delicate brown curls cascaded down her shoulders, beautiful and untamed in a way that was so inexplicably Catra.
Everything about her was simply mesmerizing. The soothing presence of an angel and the biting wit of a devil. She was perfection personified.
Catra shifted. Her arm sliding up in the space between them. Ever so slowly, her finger came to rest on Adora’s forehead.
“Boop.”
Adora laughed and the spell broke. Any previous tension dissipating as they giggled, Catra slapping Adora’s hands away as she attempted to get her back.
“Can I ask you a question?” Adora asked once they’d settled, both leaning against the headboard and propped up by pillows.
“I dunno. Is it a stupid question?” Catra asked with a playful smirk.
“Possibly,” Adora leaned in conspiratorially.
Catra chuckled, “Fine. Go ahead.”
“Who was your gay awakening?”
Catra launched herself off the bed in an instant, tail flicking behind her. “Nope. Nuh uh. I’d say it in Spanish, but either way it’s still no .”
“Oh come on!” Adora pleaded, “It can’t be that bad.”
“It’s confidential information,” Catra insisted, “You don’t have high enough clearance.”
“I’m your best friend! I have all the clearance!” Adora defended, trying unsuccessfully to hide her laughter.
“You can’t prove that in a court of law,” Catra grinned, crossing her arms stubbornly.
“What does that even mean?” Adora asked, momentarily distracted.
“I don’t actually know. I just made it up.”
It was silent for a moment as they both pondered that.
“I still wanna know who your gay awakening was,” Adora said, breaking the comfortable silence.
Catra groaned loudly.
“Please?” Adora gave Catra her best pleading look.
Catra made a sound between a whine and a groan, trying to avoid her gaze. “Why do you always have to do that?”
Adora didn’t respond aside from a slight shrug.
“Fine,” Catra relented, “If you make fun of me, I’ll kick your ass.”
“I won’t make fun of you,” Adora promised, giving Catra a dorky salute.
Catra muttered something unintelligible.
Adora raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Sarah Sanderson,” Catra repeated in a louder tone, her face bright red.
Adora slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle her cackles. Catra glared at her.
“ Adora !”
“Im sorry!” Adora said through giggles, “You were just so serious about it!”
Catra’s glare softened and she let out a small laugh, “It’s embarrassing!”
“Is that why you insist on watching Hocus Pocus every year?”
Catra hesitated, “It might be one of the reasons.”
Adora sobered up, smiling softly at Catra, “Is the other reason Binx?”
“…Maybe.”
“Binx is pretty cute,” Adora agreed, generously shifting the topic.
“There’s this stray near my house, you know?” Catra sat down next to her, “I’ve been feeding him for a few weeks. Looks a little like Binx.”
“You never know,” Adora said mysteriously, “Maybe it is.”
“I doubt it.”
Adora hummed, laying down again, “I think I’m onto something here.”
“I’m sure you are,” Catra said sarcastically, shifting to lay beside her.
“Well, If I am ,” Adora began pointedly, “That means you have a shot with the love of your life, Sarah Sanderson.”
“Oh, please ,” Catra scoffed, bumping her shoulder against Adora’s, “I am not in love with her!”
“Then who are you in love with?”
It was meant to be a joke. Just a silly rhetorical question. Catra would roll her eyes or scoff and the moment would pass. But the words came out softer than she’d intended, creating an unintended intensity that left Adora wondering if Catra actually had an answer.
Adora hoped she didn’t.
Catra turned to look at her, a lazy smile forming on her face. Catra’s lips parted and Adora found herself fearing what she’d say.
“Your mom,” Catra deadpanned, only managing to keep it together for a mere second after seeing Adora’s expression.
Catra sat up once more, cackling, “You should’ve seen your face! You were like ‘Agh! Noo! Betrayal!’”
She accompanied the words with dramatic hand gestures, finishing by flopping back down onto the bed with a flourish.
“You laugh now, but just wait until I tell her you said that,” Adora smirked, leveling a finger at her.
“Go ahead,” Catra said confidently, “We all know I’m her favorite.”
“You are not !”
“Yeah? she has my report card on the fridge,” Catra continued, “That’s favorite child behavior.”
“I can’t believe I’m being beat by someone who can’t even reach the top shelf.”
Catra gasped in offense, shoving her playfully, “You take that back !”
“Admit it! You’re pocket sized, Catra,” Adora insisted, poking Catra’s sides and making her shriek with laughter.
Adora eventually relented, laughter dying out long after Catra’s own giggles had quieted. She turned to look at Catra - only to find her already watching.
Catra didn’t seem to notice she’d been caught. The way Catra was looking at her wasn’t unfamiliar , but it was one Adora had always failed to understand. Catra looked at her that way sometimes, with an unreadable expression - like she saw something in Adora that Adora didn’t know was there.
“You’re such an idiot,” Catra said finally, the words seeming harsh but her tone filled with affection.
“Yeah. I know.”
***
Catra swung open the front door, not bothering to knock. She saw Marlena and Randor sitting at the breakfast table and quickly joined them.
She plopped down in an empty chair, humming in recognition when they both greeted her.
“How gracious of you to actually use the door today,” Randor said, raising a playful eyebrow.
“I go through Adora’s window one time-“
Marlena laughed, “Catra, you’ve done it at least once a week.”
Catra shrugged, “You’d think she’d learn to lock it by now.”
“Would that really stop you?”
“Nope. Where’s tweedledee and tweedledum anyway?” Catra asked, preening slightly when they smiled at the joke.
“Still sleeping, of course,” Randor chuckled, “You’d think they’d be a bit more excited for their first day of Junior year.”
“I was just about to go up there,” Marlena sighed, “Honestly, those two sleep like the dead.”
Catra stood, dropping her backpack onto the seat in her place, “I’ll take care of them.”
“That sounds ominous coming from you,” Randor said, taking a sip of his coffee.
Catra just grinned cheekily, sending them a salute before walking up the stairs, avoiding the creaky floorboards expertly as she reached Adora’s room.
She turned the handle slowly, slipping inside almost soundlessly.
Adora was sprawled out on the bed, her long blonde hair splashed against the pillows and one of her arms thrown around the stuffed unicorn that sat halfway buried by the blankets.
Catra allowed herself a single moment to admire the delicate, angelic features of Adora’s face softened even more by sleep before launching herself forward and right onto Adora.
Adora let out a yell as Catra effectively tackled her, scrambling about to try and push her off as Catra cackled.
“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty,” Catra said cheerfully, her legs straddling Adora’s waist as the girl glared up at her.
“It’s too early for this,” Adora groaned, burying her face back in her pillows to hide from the sunlight.
Catra pulled the pillow away from her grasp, “Aw, you poor thing. Would you like to go back to sleep?”
“Can I?” Adora asked hopefully, trying to wriggle free from Catra’s clutches
“Nope!” Catra grabbed her arms, tugging her into a sitting position as she lifted herself off Adora, “Get dressed, dummy.”
Adora sluggishly pulled herself out of bed, brushing past Catra to get to her dresser.
“Why are you in such a hurry to get to school?” Adora huffed, looking over her shoulder as she grabbed some clothes to change into, “Embracing your inner nerd?”
Truthfully, Catra wasn’t in a hurry to go back. But it was a nice excuse to get out of her mother’s house and spend more time with Adora.
Catra spent most of her time at the Grey’s house regardless, but Catra and Adora always made a habit of studying together which meant more late nights with Adora and less nights going home early enough for her mother to still be awake.
Catra cringed slightly at the reminder of the one time she’d woken her mother by coming home too early.
“I’m still very much anti-nerd, thank you,” Catra said, shaking off the memory, “I just want to get it over with.”
“Right,” Adora dragged the word out, like she didn’t believe her.
“ Anyways ,” Catra said pointedly, “Get dressed while I wake up your brother.”
“You’re not gonna jump on him, are you?” Adora sighed.
“Don’t worry, that’s reserved for you,” Catra grinned, slipping out the door and shutting it behind her.
She sauntered over to Adam’s door and started knocking. Quietly at first, then slowly increasing the intensity until he ripped open the door, bleary eyed and annoyed.
“Was that really necessary?” He scowled, not even surprised to see her there.
“Get dressed, loser. We’re gonna be late,” Catra said, punching his shoulder for emphasis.
He waved her off, “Yeah, whatever. Go away.”
He shut the door, but not before she saw the amused smile he was attempting to hide.
Catra turned, ears perking up when she saw Adora exiting her room, dressed for the day.
She was dressed in a white long-sleeved shirt, high-waisted jeans, and sneakers. But that’s not what caught Catra’s attention.
It was her hair.
Gone was the trademark ponytail. Now, Adora’s hair was in a half up style. Golden locks cascading down her shoulder with a bun at the back of her head, a few blonde locks framing her face and accentuating her jawline.
Catra’s mouth felt dry.
“Are you done harassing my brother?” Adora said, eyes twinkling with amusement. Somehow, Catra managed to speak.
“For now,” Catra said evasively, linking her arm with Adora’s as they made their way downstairs.
Adora’s parents greeted them as they both took a seat at the table. Marlena placed a plate of food in front of Adora and moments later, placed one in front of Catra as well.
Catra was used to it. Being treated like a member of their family. It was a nice feeling, but she’d never quite get used to Marlena’s affection. She could handle Randor’s playful words and even Adam’s sarcasm. But Marlena’s loving demeanor felt like almost too much. It made Catra forget sometimes that she wasn’t actually her daughter.
Still, she accepted it. What else was there to do, after all? Besides, Adora’s mother was a damn good cook.
They scarfed down the breakfast and by the time Adam had joined them and eaten as well, it was time for them to leave.
“Alright, everyone!” Marlena said excitedly, motioning for them all to line up against the wall, “Just a few back to school pictures before we leave!”
“ Mom! ” Adora and Adam both groaned, but complied nonetheless. Marlena ushered Catra into the pictures as well, despite Catra’s weak protests.
After entirely too many photos, they piled into the car. Randor had to go to work, but wished them all luck on their first day before Marlena drove off.
“Glimmer and Bow are gonna meet us out front to compare schedules,” Adora told her.
Catra nodded but didn’t say anything. She liked Glimmer and Bow - considered them friends, even if she’d never admit it aloud, but deep down she always feared that Adora may tire of her eventually and would ditch her for them.
It was a fear she’d mostly squandered by now, but it still sat in the back of her mind, rearing its ugly head whenever Catra felt too comfortable with her place in Adora’s life.
The events of that morning hadn’t helped matters. Her mother had been home that day, she usually wasn’t when Catra woke.
“I assume you’ll need a ride to school, then?” Her mother spat when she came downstairs with her backpack in tow.
“I’m headed to Adora’s,” Catra replied in a clipped tone.
“Don’t you ever tire of leeching off that girl? Honestly, it’s a miracle she’s put up with you this long.”
“She’s my best friend,” Catra defended, her voice uncertain. Something about Weaver always made her doubt herself.
Weaver just laughed at that.
Catra was startled out of the memory when she felt Adora’s hand slip inside her own, their fingers lacing together.
Adora didn’t say anything. But Catra knew Adora must have noticed her looking upset. She probably didn’t know why, and Catra hoped she never would. But Adora was there. And that was all that mattered.
Catra squeezed Adora’s hand, hoping it could articulate what she couldn’t.
Adora squeezed back.
***
Marlena carefully poured the popcorn into the bowl in front of her, disposing of the bag in the trash can before turning around and entering the living room. Randor and Adam were sitting comfortably on the couch, playfully arguing about what movie to watch.
Marlena took her seat next to her husband, “Still haven’t agreed on a movie?”
“I suggested Spider-Man,” Adam said, side-eyeing his father, “But Dad thinks we should watch Barbie Princess Charm School.”
“It’s a classic, ” Randor insisted, “You and Adora loved it!”
“Sounds like you loved it more.”
Marlena laughed, taking the remote from her son, “Alright, back to your corners. Let’s pick one together.”
They scrolled for a while, eventually deciding on The Hunger Games trilogy. Marlena briefly considered asking Adora and Catra to join, but they were busy studying and Marlena didn’t want to interrupt.
So, she started up the movie and relaxed into her husband's side, laughing at her son’s occasional commentary.
They were halfway through Catching Fire when it happened.
Marlena heard raised voices coming from Adora’s room. She wasn’t worried at first, assuming that the girls had simply gotten distracted from their schoolwork and had started messing around.
Moments later, she heard a door be wrenched open and the thundering of footsteps down the stairs.
“ Catra! Catra, wait! ”
Randor quickly paused the movie and Marlena rushed over just as Catra made it down the last step, Adora not far behind.
Catra tried to slide past, beelining towards the door without looking at any of them. Adora tugged on her hand to stop her.
For the first time ever, Catra pulled away.
“Girls, what’s going on?” What happened?” Randor asked calmly, concern evident in his tone.
“Catra-“ Adora began worriedly.
“Nothing!” Catra said firmly, cutting Adora off, “Everything is fine !”
“This is not fine! Catra, please-” Adora pleaded, eyes beginning to tear.
“Just leave it, Adora! I’m fine!”
Adora tried to say something, but Catra growled and turned to leave once more.
It broke Marlena’s heart to see her girls this way. She shared a look with her husband before stepping forward, gently taking Catra’s hand into her own.
Catra stopped, but didn’t turn to look at her.
“Catra, sweetheart,” Marlena began softly, “Whatever it is, we can talk about it.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Catra replied weakly.
“Yes, there is! She-“ Adora stepped forward, but Randor gently stopped her.
“Let your mother handle this,” Randor told her softly.
“Dad, please-“ Adora said, her voice shaking.
There it was. The slightest twitch of Catra’s head, glancing back just barely to look at Adora. Her eyes swam with emotion.
Marlena squeezed Catra’s hand.
“Did the two of you have a fight?” Marlena asked, trying to grasp the situation. Though the mere idea of it seemed ridiculous. Adora and Catra bantered and argued, but Marlena had never known them to truly fight.
“No!” Catra said quickly, then hesitated, “No. she’s just-…it’s nothing.”
Marlena frowned, “This doesn’t sound like nothing, Catra.”
“I can handle it, okay?” Catra hissed, though her voice broke on the last word.
“She’s worried about you,” Marlena said, lowering her voice so the others wouldn’t hear, “And so am I. Whatever is going on, we’re here , Catra.”
“You’ll be angry,” Catra’s words were barely audible. She avoided eye contact, but Marlena could see the tears forming.
Marlena lifted Catra’s chin with her free hand, looking into the shining, two-toned eyes of the girl who might as well be her own.
“There is absolutely nothing in this world that could make me angry at you, Catra,” Marlena squeezed the hand still in her grasp, “You’re family and you always will be.”
The tears fell. Marlena pulled Catra into an embrace and Catra slowly reciprocated, her shoulders shaking.
It was barely a second after they’d pulled apart that Adora was at Catra’s side, pulling her into another hug that Catra leaned into far more quickly.
“I’m sorry,” Adora said earnestly when they’d separated. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that and pressured you-”
Catra shook her head, “No, it’s my fault. I should have…” She swallowed hard, looking down, “I shouldn’t have kept this for so long. I just-…I’m sorry.”
Randor frowned, his expression full of worry, “What haven’t you told us?”
Catra hesitated, wrapping her arms around herself.
“Catra, it’s okay,” Adora said softly, nudging her friend. Their eyes met and they seemed to have a silent conversation.
Marlena worried her lip, feeling Randor give her hand a squeeze. Finally, Catra turned to them.
“Don’t freak out,” Catra pleaded, “It’s really…it’s not that bad.”
Slowly, she reached down and pulled up the sleeve of her shirt.
Marlena felt her heart stop in that moment.
A large bruise wrapped around her entire wrist, as if someone had been gripping it. The skin was red and irritated and if she looked closely, Marlena could just barely make out little crescent shaped markings dug into the skin.
The silence stretched on for an unbearably long time.
“Catra…” Randor began, Marlena could tell that he was struggling to keep his voice even, “Who-…did your mother do this?”
Catra nodded.
Adam had been quiet this whole time, watching the events unfold with uncertainty and concern. But now, he spoke.
“How could we have not…” Adam swallowed, seeming frustrated, “How did we not see? You-…We should’ve seen.”
“She doesn’t usually leave bruises.”
The words were said so bluntly. So devoid of emotion. It tore Marlena apart from the inside.
“It’s usually when she’s drunk,” Catra continued, uncertainty in her tone, “I mean, she’s-…she’s not doing it all the time! She’s barely home, anyway. It- it’s just insults most of the time.”
“It doesn’t matter, Catra,” Adora said, her voice firm, “She can't do this to you. It’s wrong. Everything she’s doing to you is wrong.”
“I can handle it!” Catra replied defensively, “I told you, I barely see her! I’ve gotten good at avoiding her.”
Randor frowned, his eyes sad, “Is that why you’re here so much?”
“I’m here because I want to be here,” Catra said, her voice breaking, “I like it here.”
“We’re not upset with you,” Marlena assured, seeing her expression, “We’re worried, Catra. Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because I knew you’d react like this!” Catra cried, looking away, “You’d all be worried and trying to help and looking at me like I’m fragile . I just wanted to feel normal . I’m enough of a burden as it is!”
“Catra, listen to me,” Marlena said, her voice firm but not unkind, “You are not, and you have never been, a burden. We care about you and we always will.”
Catra didn’t respond, only managing a slight nod as she wiped her eyes.
“What can we do?” Adam asked.
“You don’t need to do anything,” Catra crossed her arms, “I’ll be fine.”
“You shouldn’t go back there,” Adam said fiercely. He’d always been protective of Adora, as most brothers tend to be. It seemed that same protectiveness extended to Catra as well.
“I have to, eventually,” Catra argued.
“No, you don’t,” Adora said suddenly, her voice steady and resolute.
Catra looked at her, surprised by the conviction in her tone, “What-?”
“You’re not going back there,” Adora said seriously, “You can stay here.”
Catra’s jaw dropped, “I can’t do that. I’m not-…Adora, I can’t.”
“You’re here all the time, right?” Adora said stubbornly, “Stay. Don’t go home.”
Catra looked at Marlena and Randor, clearly expecting them to object.
Neither of them did.
Catra opened her mouth to argue. To object. To say anything that would make Adora realize how crazy this was.
But she couldn’t.
There were plenty of logical reasons, of course. But the real issue was Catra didn’t care. She didn’t care how it could so easily go wrong or how much she could lose because of it.
Because for once, Catra was wanted . They’d welcomed her with open arms and countered every one of her wicked thoughts with reassurances.
This was the only place she’d ever felt truly safe. If Catra was being truthful, she didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to leave. Didn’t want to go back to the cold, unloving place she’d been made to call home.
This was home. This is the only place she’d experienced real love. This is where she’d learned what it was like to have a family that cared.
This is where Adora was.
Why would she ever want to leave that?
Catra took a deep breath, lifting her gaze to meet Adora’s.
She knew what she’d find there.
Ocean blue eyes, filled with desperation and warmth. Catra was lost to them immediately, drowning with no desire to reach shore.
Catra thinks Adora knows then. She knows what Catra will say, knows that one look into Adora’s pleading gaze is all it would ever take to get Catra to stay.
And she would. She’d stay and she’d chase the warmth of Adora’s gaze for as long as she was allowed. And when it ended, Catra would tell herself it was all worth it. And it would be.
She’d drown a thousand times over if it made Adora happy.
Catra gazed into the eyes of the girl that she loved. The only girl she’d ever love. The girl that showed Catra what unconditional love felt like. The girl that had seen the best and worst parts of her and still wanted her.
And for the first time, Catra allowed herself to believe she was worth the love she saw reflected back at her.
“Okay. I’ll stay.”
***
It hurt more than she thought it would.
Catra’s trip back to her mother’s house was meant to be quick. Get in, grab the necessities, and get out. Maybe try and catch the little stray cat that always loitered near the garden. (Her mother always refused to house the kitten, but Catra fed him almost daily anyways)
She’d very nearly succeeded. Bags full and hand grasping the doorknob. Catra had been seconds from freedom. Ready to leave and never look back.
Her mother had found her, of course.
Catra had told her she was leaving, having prepared herself to fight back. She would stand her ground. She wouldn’t let Weaver get to her this time.
She’d been ready for everything. Everything except what she’d received: indifference.
Weaver hadn’t even tried to stop her. Hadn’t even pretended to care, not for a single moment.
“ Go ahead, then,” Weaver had hissed, “Go burden someone else. At least this way I don’t have to kick you out when you’re finally old enough to stop leeching off me.”
That was all Catra was to her. A waste of time. A waste of space. Someone who Weaver craved to be rid of.
Someone that she could never love.
Hours later, Catra was still replaying the moment. She was curled up uncomfortably on the Grey’s living room couch and had long since abandoned any attempt to sleep.
Every memory haunted her, leaving seeds of doubt in her mind. What had she done wrong? What was wrong with her that her own mother couldn’t love her?
The self doubt and the pity quickly gave way to anger. She was only a child, after all. How could she ever have deserved the way Weaver treated her? How could it be her fault?
In the end, it didn’t really matter, did it? Knowing wouldn’t change the past. Nor would it ease Catra’s mind.
She’d never understood the reason for her mother’s cruelty. Maybe she never would. Maybe there was a reason, and maybe there wasn’t.
It didn’t change anything. ‘Maybe’ didn’t bring her any comfort.
Catra was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps. She recognized Adora’s form instantly and smiled knowingly.
Adora had tried to convince her to just stay in her room, as they usually did in their sleepovers. But Catra refused. A sleepover was different. It wasn’t permanent.
Adora wasn’t happy about it, if her constant check-ups were anything to go by. Catra would probably be annoyed, if it were anyone else.
Not Adora, though. Her concern for Catra’s wellbeing left her with a pounding heart and a flushed face. It was a feeling that she was well accustomed to by now.
She let out a soft, involuntary purr as Adora silently sat down beside her. Adora didn’t seem to hear, or at the very least pretended she didn’t.
“Hey,” Adora murmured, “Can’t sleep?”
“Maybe I could if you stopped stomping down here every hour,” Catra accused lightly, poking Adora’s cheek.
“I’m just worried about you,” She replied, swatting at Catra playfully.
“Is that really the reason?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” Adora asked, suddenly looking nervous.
Catra sat up, a grin sliding onto her face. The position brought her far closer to Adora, mere inches between them. Catra eyed her with faux suspicion.
Adora swallowed.
“I know you’re here cus you wanna cuddle.”
Adora let out an undignified snort, shoving her lightly, “I do not! ”
“What, you don’t wanna snuggle? That hurts, Adora.”
“Oh my god, shut up- ”
“You know you want to,” Catra practically purred.
“I will literally fight you.”
Catra’s grin transformed into a smirk, a small trill escaping her throat as she shifted. Her tail wiggled excitedly behind her.
Adora caught on immediately. Her eyes widened.
“ Catra-!”
Catra pounced.
In one fluid movement, she had the other girl pinned to the cushions. Catra leaned over her, eyes glittering with mischief as she giggled.
“What was that about fighting me?”
Adora stuck out her tongue defiantly.
“So mature,” Catra quipped, loosening her hold slightly.
Adora took the opportunity without hesitation, flipping their positions and letting out a dorky laugh at the surprised squeak Catra let out in response.
“Get off me, you heathen.”
“I’m comfy right here, thank you,” Adora said smugly.
“That’s gay.”
“ You’re gay!”
“Really? What gave it away?” Catra snarked, “ Definitely not the nails-”
Adora smacked her with one of the decorative pillows scattered across the couch, “Ew!”
Catra looked at her defiantly, making a weak attempt to wiggle out of her hold, “Jokes on you, I’m into that shit.”
“I’m begging you to shut up,” Adora’s face was crimson.
“Maybe I’m into that too, you don’t know.” Catra winked as Adora got considerably redder. Though, she somehow managed to keep her composure.
“You’re horrible,” she replied flatly.
“And yet you’re still on top of me,” Catra sighed, “Feel like that says more about you than me.”
Adora quickly rolled off her, but not before giving her a shove for good measure. She settled in next to Catra, though it was somewhat cramped.
Catra snuggled into her chest, finally letting the joke die in favor of doing what she’d really wanted to do ever since Adora had come downstairs.
She was a cuddler, though she’d kill Adora if she so much as hinted it to anyone else.
It was silent for awhile, broken up only by Catra’s purrs as Adora stroked her hairs and the base of her ears.
Adora spoke first.
“I know what you’re doing,” She said, but her tone wasn’t accusatory, “You don’t have to hide from me.”
Catra sighed, “I know. But do we really have to talk about it?”
“No, we don’t,” Adora reassured, “But I want to know that you’re okay.”
Catra hesitated. Vulnerability wasn’t her strong suit. But there was no one she’d trust more than Adora.
“I’m not,” Catra admitted softly, “I thought I was. I’d accepted all this a long time ago - I thought so, anyways.”
“But?” Adora prompted, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.
“But…it’s hard. Knowing that you know,” Catra swallowed, “I never wanted you to see it. I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Do you regret it? Choosing to stay here?”
From anyone else, that would sting. But there was no judgement in her tone, no accusations of ungratefulness. Only genuine concern and curiosity.
“No,” Catra was surprised by the firmness in her tone, but she knew it to be true, “I’m happier here than I would be anywhere else. No matter what, that will never change.”
Adora pulled her into an embrace. It was slightly awkward due to the angle, but Catra didn’t mind.
“I’m really glad you’re here, Catra.”
Catra smiled, drowsiness finally starting to creep in. All it took was the comfort of Adora’s presence to soothe her worries.
“Me too.”
***
Catra hated couples.
Maybe she was just bitter, but spending her school day watching her friend group gush over their partners was probably the closest thing to hell she’d ever experience.
Unless the whole gay thing was actually a sin. But she had a bit of time before she had to worry about that one.
The point was, all her friends were dating. And Catra could usually ignore this if it weren’t for the fact that the first school dance was just around the corner. Meaning every person at Brightmoon was even more insufferable than usual.
“Isn’t it just the sweetest thing ever?” Scorpia practically swooned, brandishing the poster her girlfriend - Perfuma - had made her to ask her to the dance.
It was well made, she’d give Perfuma that much. Colorful flowers covered the canvas, forming a heart around the swooping, cursive letters that spelled out Perfuma’s disgustingly sweet proposal.
“So sweet,” Catra deadpanned.
Perfuma, who was practically glued to her girlfriends side, laughed good-naturedly, “Has anyone asked you to the dance, Catra?”
“Ugh, don’t even joke about that,” Catra rolled her eyes, “Someone might actually try it.”
“Aw, cmon, wildcat!” Scorpia grinned easily, “I’m sure you got a long list of ladies waiting to ask you!”
Catra felt someone plop down beside her and narrowly avoided getting a purple pigtail to the face.
“Are you all discussing the social experiment?” Entrapta stage whispered, as if discussing something of great importance.
Perfuma smiled uncertainly, clearly trying to figure out what the hell Entrapta was on about without seeming impolite, “The…social experiment?”
“She means the dance,” Catra cut in. She resented that she’d reached a point where she actually understood the things Entrapta said. Now she was tasked with explaining it to the friends that didn’t share a science class with the mad scientist. Ignorance truly had been bliss.
Next to her, Entrapta practically vibrated with excitement. “Different groups are thrown together and forced to mingle in a packed gymnasium. Friendships form and break! It’s the perfect place to observe behavior!”
Perfuma, ever the optimist, seemed to disagree judging by the look on her face.
“Friendships breaking?” Perfuma asked with wide eyes, “I’m sure nothing like that would happen! It’s just a dance, it’s meant to be fun, right?”
Catra scoffed, “ Clearly , you’ve forgotten the scandal that went down when you asked Bow to the winter formal in eighth grade.”
“As friends!” Perfuma defended,
“Tell that to Glimmer,” Catra muttered, “Or don’t. I don’t want to listen to her screeching this early in the morning.”
“She’s not still mad at me, is she?” Perfuma sounded so genuinely upset at the idea that Catra almost regretted it.
“Just keep your hands off my man and we’ll be fine,” Glimmer said from behind them, sliding into the seat besides Entrapta, Bow and Adora not far behind.
“Glimmer, be nice.” Bow said patiently before greeting the table.
Glimmer raised her hands in surrender before turning back to the group and raising an eyebrow, “Why are we talking about my relationship drama in the first place?”
“Oh, it didn’t start out that way!” Entrapta said helpfully, “I believe it started with Perfuma asking Scorpia to the dance, Catra being asked to the dance, and then-”
“Catra got asked to the dance?!” Adora yelped, sounding far more alarmed than anyone should be when saying such an inconsequential statement.
“Well, this just got interesting,” Glimmer hummed, smirking at Catra for some reason.
“I’m surrounded by fucking idiots,” Catra said flatly.
Bow leaned forward encouragingly, “Aww, Catra! Who asked you? Do we know them? Are they nice? Ohmygosh, is it Starla from 1st period? I heard she used to like you-“
“Who the fuck is Starla?” Catra interrupted, momentarily sidetracked.
Perfuma coughed, “So that’s a no, I guess.”
Bow seemed scandalized, “She’s sat next to you all year!”
“Oh.”
“Can we focus, please?” Adora asked, still sounding agitated, “Who did ask you to the dance?”
Catra groaned, “Nobody! Who cares, anyways? If I even go, it’ll just be with you.”
Adora blushed and Glimmer’s smirk widened.
“And why would that be, Catra?” Glimmer asked innocently.
“First of all, she’s the only one at this table I even slightly tolerate,” She took a breath before continuing, “And I literally live with her.”
No one commented on the living situation. The details given to their friend group had been vague, but it was enough for people to understand it wasn’t something to make light of.
That didn’t stop them commenting on her other reason, of course.
“Aw, wildcat!” Scorpia pouted, “What happened to Super Pal Trio solidarity?”
“Don’t pout at me when you’re the one that got me into this mess.”
“So, if someone asked you, you’d really say no?” Adora asked suddenly.
The table went…oddly silent.
Catra opened her mouth, but was saved from answering by the bell signaling the end of lunch.
“Guess your interrogation will have to wait,” Catra collected her things quickly, already speed walking away by the time Adora had thrown her trash away.
“Catra, hold on-”
For probably the first time in her life, Catra was right on time for math class.
***
Adora had been oddly quiet.
Catra had expected her to pick up their conversation from lunch the moment they returned home, but Adora had been fixated on her homework from the moment they’d arrived.
Which made it even stranger that she still wasn’t finished with it.
“Adora,” Catra called, tossing a wadded up paper at her head, “Pay attention to me.”
Adora turned to her slowly, raising an eyebrow, “Can I help you?”
If the situation was reversed, Adora would probably ease into the conversation and try to get to the root of the problem.
Catra was a tad too impatient for that.
“Something’s bothering you.”
Adora shook her head, “Everything’s fine.”
“You’re a shit liar, you know that already.”
Adora sighed, putting her pencil down and moving to sit next to Catra on the bed. She didn’t say anything.
“Is it about the dance?” Catra swallowed, afraid of the answer, “Did…someone ask you?”
“What-? No! No, no one asked me!” Adora assured quickly, ears reddening, “I just…”
“What is it?” Catra prompted.
“Do you…?” She trailed off almost immediately, her voice hesitant.
“Hmm?” Catra inquired, shifting her head to look at her.
Adora didn’t meet her eyes.
“Do you…wanna go with someone? Like a date?” Once the words came, Adora seemed unable to stop, “I mean, you’ve never said-…but you probably like someone , right? And you’ve probably thought about them and the dance and yknow- dates and all that, so if you want to go with someone else-”
“I’m going with you.”
“But-…I mean, you could go with anyone you wanted.”
“I know.”
“Is that really enough for you?”
Catra almost revealed it all right then and there. She was living with Adora now, at least for a while. Could she really keep pretending she didn’t feel something? That sometimes, she thought Adora might feel it too?
Is that why Adora was asking now? Did she want Catra the way Catra wanted her?
It didn’t seem possible. It was something she’d dreamed of for years, but that’s all it was. A fantasy.
Adora was everything. She had everything. A loving family, amazing friends. She was beautiful and kind and loving and so unbelievably perfect.
And what was Catra? A broken girl from a broken home. Where Adora was soft and gentle, Catra was sharp and violent.
It was only a matter of time before she hurt Adora. Only a matter of time until Adora realized she could do better. Maybe Catra’s mother had been right all along in thinking Catra only dragged her down
Catra is sure that one day, Adora will go off to some fancy college and meet some beautiful girl that gave her everything that Catra couldn’t.
And Catra would be left with the unshakable knowledge that she was always destined to lose her.
Yet, as soon as the thoughts came to her, something whisked them away. Because Adora was here.
She knew all of it now. She’d seen everything that Catra had to offer, the good and the bad. And she hadn't left. Adora was still sat across from her, looking at her in that special way that made Catra’s heart skip.
Whenever Adora would look at her in that way, Catra would imagine, just for a moment, that it meant something. She’d fall back into a dream and pray she never woke up.
But hoping for something and actually believing it were two very separate things.
Still, as Catra looked into Adora’s eyes, she wondered. Was it possible? Was it worth the risk of having her heart broken?
It was a foolish question. Catra already knew without a doubt that there was no risk she wouldn’t take when it came to Adora.
Her heart might break. It was a fragile thing, after all.
But Catra knew Adora was the only one she’d ever entrust it to. The only one who could put her back together when she felt unfixable.
And that alone made her worth the risk.
Finally, after a stretch of silence that had probably persisted far too long, Catra settled on an answer.
One that, if she were lucky, might mean to Adora what it meant to her.
“All I need is you.”
Adora went still. It felt like an eternity.
But slowly, she shifted. Not away like Catra briefly feared, but closer . Adora wrapped an arm around her, her other hand sliding down slightly to squeeze her hand before moving up again to wrap Catra in a proper hug.
Catra could feel Adora’s smile as she turned her face into Catra’s neck. She felt as though she’d stopped breathing. Catra was certain Adora could feel the drumming of her foolishly optimistic heart.
“You’ll always have me.”
The words, whispered like a promise into her skin, felt infinitely more intimate than it should have. It felt like a dying fire inside her had risen to a blazing inferno, burning all her doubt away until only her deepest desire remained.
Catra dared to hope.
More importantly, she dared to believe.
***
Catra was acting strange.
Adora honestly hadn’t noticed at first, assuming it was related to her situation with her mother. Now, Adora wasn’t so sure.
It’s not like Catra was avoiding her. In fact, they’d been spending plenty of time together, so at the very least Adora was certain it wasn’t due to something she’d done wrong.
Catra was just… quieter . Almost like she was contemplating something that Adora couldn’t begin to know
Adora was shaken from her musings as her phone chimed with an incoming message.
Glimmer ✨
Come outside.
???
why r u outside
Glimmer✨
Dress shopping 😏
Come outside or im calling reinforcements
Bow would never betray me
Glimmer✨
untrue
I’m calling ur mom
ur a menace to society
Glimmer✨
Thx 😘
Adora slipped on her jacket and rushed outside before Glimmer started spamming her phone. She sent a glare Glimmer’s way as she buckled her seatbelt.
“Why do we have to do this now?”
Glimmer rolled her eyes, “The dance is next week, in case you didn’t notice.”
Adora, in fact, did not notice that.
Adora would be lying if she said that the last few weeks hadn’t consisted of her trying to work up the nerve to ask Catra to the dance as more than friends. Every thought of the actual dance had been more or less placed on the back burner in favor of stressing over the worst possible scenario.
It’s not as though Adora thought Catra would be mean about her rejection, but the idea of being rejected still stung.
After a few disastrous attempts at discussing their plans for the dance, Adora had simply decided to let it rest.
She’d been Catra’s friend for as long as she could remember. It was enough for her to continue just being a friend.
It had to be.
***
Adora was dying.
She had to be.
There was simply no way the figure in front of her way anything less than an angel sent straight from the heavens.
Catra spread her arms, grinning, “I look super gay, right?”
Not the words Adora would have used, but she was right nonetheless.
The suit was a deep purple with a dark pink dress shirt underneath. It was frankly unfair just how good it looked on her. The pants were ripped around the knees and her tie hung undone around her neck.
As if all that was enough, she was wearing fucking fingerless gloves.
Was Catra trying to kill her?
“Super gay,” Adora agreed, barely managing to keep her voice even.
Catra’s tail lashed behind her almost excitedly. She seemed oddly pleased by Adora’s reaction.
“Are you planning on wearing that?” Catra asked pointedly, gaze dropping to Adora’s sleepwear in a way that left Adora blushing.
Until she realized the time.
“ Shit! ”
Catra cackled as Adora scrambled into her room to change into her dress. Glimmer would be arriving soon to take them all to the dance and she would not be happy if Adora made them late.
She pulled on the red dress she’d picked out at the mall with Glimmer. The skirt ended just above her knee and was flowy enough to not restrict her movement, which Adora liked.
Adora rushed back out, putting the finishing touches on her hair and absentmindedly searching for her shoes.
She felt Catra’s gaze and froze, turning to see Catra leaning against the wall.
Catra’s eyes flickered from Adora’s dress to her face, seeming to drink in every detail.
There was that look again. The one Adora never understood. The one she’d seen more and more in the last few days.
Catra swallowed, pushing off the wall to come closer.
She opened her mouth to speak.
“Adora, I-”
A car honked outside, startling them both. Adora silenced her phone as it began to ring barely a second later.
Glimmer truly was notoriously impatient.
Adora returned her focus to Catra, who was looking away from her now. She refused to meet her gaze again.
“Yes?” Adora prompted quietly.
She didn’t know why, but it felt important that Catra finish. This moment felt fragile, something in the air between them that Adora was afraid would shatter at the slightest amount of pressure.
Catra opened her mouth. Then closed it again.
The horn honked again.
Adora contemplated murder.
Catra still wasn’t looking at her.
“You’re still not wearing shoes,” Catra murmured eventually.
Adora cursed.
And the moment shattered.
Adora pulled on her shoes and stood quickly to leave.
Catra was at the door, one hand on the doorknob and the other outstretched towards her.
“You coming?” Her voice was teasing as always, but undeniably gentle.
Adora smiled, bridging the gap between them and intertwining Catra’s hand with her own.
Catra squeezed her hand.
Adora squeezed back.
As Catra led them out to the car, skillfully combatting all Glimmer’s complaints with her own, Adora felt like she was floating, her only lifeline the warm hand connected to hers.
She hoped she’d never have to let go.
***
It wasn’t like Catra was doing it on purpose.
She had had every intention of talking to Adora. To tell her everything. To give every piece of her heart to Adora and hope that she would do the same.
There was never a good time.
Turns out it’s not easy to find a good moment to tell your best friend you’re madly in love with her. Who would’ve thought?
Catra had come so close the other night. Seeing Adora in that dress, looking so effortlessly beautiful and being an absolute dork all the while. The words had started to tumble out of her, excitement and fear had stirred in her chest.
Then Sparkles honked the fucking horn. Talk about bad timing.
Catra hadn’t tried since, but that really wasn’t her fault. Their teachers had increased their workload and Adora had just begun soccer practice at the beginning of the month.
Not to mention Catra had secured a job at a local diner. She was well aware the Grey’s didn’t expect her to pay rent or chip in financially, but Catra hated the idea of leeching off them.
A voice at the back of her head unhelpfully reminded her that that line of thinking is surely what her mother would say.
Catra ignored it.
Despite Marlena’s protests, Catra had made sure to share a portion of her paycheck to pay for groceries and other necessities. Unfortunately, Adora’s parents took it as a challenge and have made a point to spoil Catra with random gifts.
Catra had mentioned offhandedly that her hair was a mess, having a lack of products meant for curly hair around the house. The next day, Marlena had presented her with an array of hair products and a diffuser attachment that worked undeniably well.
Not one to be outdone, Catra had given them her entire paycheck on her next payday.
Adam was the only one who seemed to find that funny.
Suffice to say, Catra was a little too busy to be worrying about her feelings for Adora.
Did that stop her from obsessing over it? Obviously not. It only kept her from acting on her impulses and kissing the shit out of her best friend.
Catra told herself that when the time was right, she’d know. But with every day that passed with her feelings locked inside, Catra began to wonder if it’d ever come.
And if it did, would she have the courage to say it?
Three little words. That’s all it would really take. Three words and everything would change. Catra hoped it’d be for the better.
She’d driven herself mad with these thoughts time and time again. Catra knew what she wanted and deep down she felt as though it may be reciprocated, yet she couldn’t shake the lingering fear that she was wrong.
Three words.
If only she knew how to say them.
***
Catra had never cared much for her birthday.
They were all the same. Waking up to an empty house, spending the night at Adora’s, and receiving gifts from her small group of friends.
It wasn’t insignificant by any means. Catra was grateful to not be alone on her birthday, to have people that actually cared.
Still, she ended every birthday feeling empty. She figured she always would.
It’s hard not to feel empty when you know something is missing.
On the morning on her eighteenth birthday, however, Catra was shown just how wrong she was.
The moment her eyes opened, she’d been bombarded with the sound of singing. The Grey’s crowded around her with wide smiles and a refusal to shut up until they’d sung the song in it’s entirety.
“Happy birthday!” Adora cheered, pulling her into a hug. Catra was grateful for it, it hid the tears welling in her eyes.
“Was it necessary to do this so early ?” Catra whined into her shoulder.
“It’s never too early to celebrate!” Randor insisted, “Now, come on down. Birthday breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”
“Who cooked?” Catra asked warily, peering out from the safety of Adora’s shoulder.
“Oh, that was all Marlena-”
Catra bolted downstairs.
The sounds of laughter followed. Warmth settled in her chest and Catra decided that maybe she could give this birthday thing a chance.
***
Marlena and Randor had correctly assumed that Catra wouldn’t want a big party and had instead invited her closest friends only.
Glimmer, Bow, Scorpia, and Entrapta were scattered across the living room alongside Adora’s parents, Adam, and his girlfriend Teela.
Her love of Halloween was clearly taken into consideration when setting up the get together. Silly paper bats and other Halloween themed decorations were hung around the house.
Hocus Pocus played quietly in the background while they all played board games. Catra pointedly ignored Adora’s teasing whenever Sarah Sanderson appeared on screen, just as she did every year.
Still, Catra felt oddly at peace. This was shaping up to be the best birthday she’d ever had.
From the corner of her eye, she watched Adora run upstairs. She’d slipped outside a few minutes ago, nervously dodging Catra’s questions about where she was going.
Adora’s suspicious behavior meant one thing.
She was hiding a gift.
Catra wasn’t surprised, Adora had never been a good liar nor had she ever not gotten Catra a birthday present. The dork was probably hiding it in their room to give to Catra later.
Catra’s interest was piqued, to say the least.
She slipped away from the group unnoticed and made her way to their room. Catra could hear shuffling from inside the room and chuckled to herself before unceremoniously wrenching the door open.
Adora let out a squeak and attempted to push something behind her back, only to wince as the unmistakable sound of a cat meowing in protest rang out in the silence.
A black blur jumped out from behind Adora, landing gracefully on the ground and running to meet Catra.
He recognized her. Of course he did.
She’d been feeding that very cat for years, unable to house him due to her mothers refusal to let her have a pet.
It hadn’t stopped her from caring for him when she could, or from naming him, for that matter.
“Melog,” Catra said hoarsely.
Melog let out a purr, rubbing his head against her leg in greeting.
That seemed to shake Adora out of her stupor. She smiled nervously and immediately launched into a tangent.
“Surprise! Uh- well, not so much anymore, but it’s fine! I just- you always wanted to take him and your mom-…uh, well-”
“Adora-” Catra attempted.
“-But I caught him! And I know you’ve always wanted a cat, you always loved Binx-”
“Adora-!”
“-And I know how much you bonded with Melog and mom and dad are totally cool with it! and I know how hard things have been and I just wanted to do something that would make you happy-”
Catra didn’t think about what she did next. She didn’t care about timing or rejection or any type of rational thought that had kept her from doing this very thing for years.
Catra stepped forward, taking Adora’s face in her hands.
And kissed her.
For those few seconds, everything seemed to fade away. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. The only thought that consumed her was the euphoria of Adora’s lips against hers, the feeling of their bodies pressed together, the rhythmic drumming of her heart as it attempted to break free from her chest.
Catra pulled away just barely, intending to say something .
Adora pulled her back in. And the brief thought of addressing what just happened died in favor of doing it again.
A hand curled around Catra’s waist, pulling her impossibly closer as the other cupped her face.
Catra purred at the feeling and felt Adora smile against her lips. She was content to stay this way forever, but felt Adora start to pull back.
Catra made her displeasure known, huffing and pressing an insistent kiss to Adora’s lips before attempting to chase her lips again.
Adora laughed, “Sorry, did you want something?”
“I wasn’t done,” Catra pouted, grabbing Adora’s hand to keep her close.
“I think Melog wants attention,” Adora said, eyes shining with warmth.
“So do I,” She replied stubbornly.
“Say please.”
“Fuck you.”
“That’s not how you say please-”
“I don’t have to say please on my birthday.”
“Technically, you just did .”
Catra groaned, “Stop talking and kiss me, smart ass.”
Surprisingly, Adora obliged.
She pressed a chaste kiss to Catra’s lips, then focused her attention elsewhere, peppering soft kisses across her face.
When Adora was satisfied with her work, she pulled Catra in again, resting their foreheads together.
Catra shut her eyes and let out a shaky breath. This was more than she could’ve ever dreamed. Adora wanted her. Adora was here in her arms, looking at her with pure affection and love.
Catra finally said it then. Those three words. She couldn’t understand why they were difficult before. In this moment, it felt as natural as breathing.
“I love you.”
Adora’s grip tightened as she giggled softly. Her response was immediate.
“I love you too.”
Catra purred loudly at that, her face immediately reddening as she dropped her gaze.
Adora grinned playfully, lifting her chin, “That’s kinda gay, Catra.”
Catra huffed even as she leaned into her hand, “Dork.”
“ Your dork,” Adora corrected smugly.
“Even when you’re being cute, you’re annoying.” Catra sighed dramatically, though her words were laced with affection.
“Aw, you think I’m cute?” Adora gasped.
“I’m starting to think this was a mistake,”
Despite her words, she pulled Adora closer.
“Too bad. You’re stuck with me forever. ”
Catra smiled softly, drinking in the sight of her. Adora. As perfect as the day she met her. The same shimmering blue eyes. The same gorgeous laugh. Adora. Her best friend. Her greatest and only love.
“I think I could live with that.”