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This week has been stressful for Will, suffice to say. Summer has just started and so camp has started to fill back up, and with more campers comes significantly more injuries. More injuries means more work and that’s one thing Will can’t deal with right now. He’s been feeling weird more often than not. Simply put, he feels awful. As if everything is out of place and nothing is making it all fit back together again. Everything is going wrong and he can’t seem to put it right. He has the need to detach all of him limbs and put them back together in a way that feels right. He wants to take something out of his brain; namely the negativity and hatred that had no home previously. He has no time to himself anymore, and when he does he have free time then he has to spend it with his siblings or his boyfriend. Don’t get him wrong, he loves them. Gods, does he love his family more than anything. But recently, with everything feeling off, he would really like to sit in a silent and dark room with nothing but himself and a large glass of cold water (and maybe a few pills). He doesn’t like feeling like this. He wants to be himself again. He wants to be happy and go-lucky and not looking for reasons to push people away and yet here he is, doing just that. So when Percy comes up to him and Nico asking if they want to go to the lake with him and some others, Will finds it’s a perfect opportunity to push himself away. He sees Nico start to smile and nod at Percy, wishing to go with them so Will butts in with “No, sorry, Percy we can’t today.” He knows it’s mean. He knows that Nico wants to spend time with his friends. Doing this pushes both Percy and Nico away. It’s for the better. This way they’ll hate him. They’ll leave him alone. It’s what Will needs and it’s what they want (even if they don’t know it yet).
Percy’s face contorts into confusion as he looks to and from the pair. “You sure?” He tilts his head.
“Yeah, man. We are.” Will holds his ground, as tightens his grip around Nico’s hand. “Well.” He says with a small smile on his lips. “We need to go get changed. See you later, Percy.” He calls already walking away with Nico in tow.
“Will, hey, Will what the fuck?” Nico argues when they get back to his Cabin, letting go of Will’s deathly grip on his hand and not-so-gently pushing him away. He went along with it originally, not wanting to make a scene in front of his friends, but now that they’re alone in his own cabin he can make as much of a fuss as he wants. And he wants to make a big fucking fuss. “Why the actual fuck would you do that? You saw that I wanted to stay and go out with them and you completely ignored me!” Nico starts immediately, needing an explanation from his boyfriend who’s suddenly decided that the sun revolves around him.
“What have I done wrong now?” Will scrunches his face as if it’s Nico being difficult. He knows.
“You’re kidding, right? You’re fucking with me?” Nico steps back as if trying to see the situation from a new perspective. “Will, are you trying to ban me from seeing my friends or something? Like some weird power trip? Because, it’s not going to fucking work.”
“What are you talking about, Nico? All I said is that we don’t want to go, which we didn’t so I really don’t understand what the big deal is?” He shrugs, but it’s in an egotistical manner which enrages Nico. Will knows what he’s doing. He knows he’s hurting Nico. It’s so difficult to do. Never would he thought he’d hurt his boyfriend, let alone purposefully, but it’s what they both need.
“We didn’t want anything. You wanted something and you decided for me, yet again. What is happening, Will? You’ve been really fucking mean recently but this is a new low.” Nico sounds disappointed in Will and it hits him right in the gut. Will can feel his upset in his stomach and his arms, a tingly yet numb sort of feeling that he needs to get rid of immediately. He wants Nico to hate him, not to be disappointed in him. This is not what he was aiming for.
“Maybe you just didn’t realise. Maybe I’ve always been like this but you couldn’t see it because you’ve got some fucked up rose-tinted glasses on. Seriously, Nico? Did you expect me to be so fucking happy all the time?” He needs to hit Nico back. Needs to use something against him. Nico has to leave on his own accord or else it would mean he still has feelings for Will and that can’t happen. His plans won’t work if Nico still has any semblance of feelings towards him. He starts pacing and running his hands through his hair.
“What the fuck are you talking about. This is my fault? No. Will, you’ve never been like this before. What has gotten into you? I get that you’ve been stressed but this is different. This is not you.”
“Not me? Who do you think it is? All I do is work, Nico. Work and work and work, of course I’m going to be stressed. I am stressed and I am tired! Shit, Nico, I am so fucking tired.” He sounds defeated towards the end of the sentence, but Nico doesn’t catch it. He’s too wrapped up in his own thoughts. Will’s glad.
“Oh my fucking god. Are you kidding me? We’re all tired! I’m training little kids in sword fighting, do you know how fucking boring that is? You’re so fucking selfish, you know that? You’re only thinking about yourself here. You don’t care about anyone else other than yourself. I’m fed up of you not giving a shit about me or anyone else. You haven’t seen our friends for weeks and they’re still extending invitations to you. They still care and yet you’re fucking declining? Fuck you, Will.” And Will stills. He freezes in his spot. This is what he wanted, right? He needed Nico to hate him so he could go through with his plans, but this is something that Will hadn’t expected. He doesn’t quite know why he didn’t expect it because it was obviously coming, but now that it’s happened he’s… gods he feels awful.
He sinks to the floor. He needs everything to stop. Just. Stop.