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Time for the annual assessment for Mossad, it's like an evil report card on every little thing an officer did to contribute to the tight-knit family. Ziva's plane just landed in Tel Aviv with a car sent from headquarters by Eli David to pick her up.
Ziva dreaded these meetings, every year it was the same, she knew the outcome- it would either make her want to kill someone for no justification or cry like a baby and neither was looked upon as a Mossad officer.
Quickly, Ziva arrived at headquarters after erratically driving herself to let off steam from the oncoming onslaughter of the emotional turmoil of the assessment, soon she was called into the Deputy Director of Mossad's office. "Hello, father." She stepped in as trepidation rose in her chest.
"Ah, Ziva." Eli waved her in. "Come, I have missed you. Give your father a kiss." His sickly grin beamed at her after he put down his pen and looked up from his paperwork. So the obedient daughter acquiesced and crossed the room to gently peck him on the cheek. "Did you have a nice flight?"
"Yes." She nodded and moved to sit on the opposite chair her father gestured to her. She secretly and discreetly let out a shaky breath and braced herself for the turbulence that was about to come. She just wanted to get in and get out as quickly as possible, she really didn't want to stay more than she needed to.
"So, Ziva. How long will you be staying this time?" Eli asked, trying to start a seemingly harmless conversation. But Ziva knew was just a cruel trick for him to insert himself into her life and no doubt to set her up on some vicious joke.
"5 days." She answered simply, she was getting tired of his faked empathy. This was not her first rodeo of dealing with her father's manipulation. She was short-tempered and annoyed even though the meeting hadn't officially started.
"Ah, your stays are getting shorter and shorter." He noted with malice laced in his voice as he stared straight at her with an egotistical gleam in his eyes.
The officer just wanted to cut the small talk and cut to the chase as soon as possible. "Can we please get on with the assessment?" She sighed heavily and tension was starting to build and show in her body language.
"Of course." The Deputy Director of Mossad's face turned serious. "Let us see, yes?" He took out a beige office folder from under his desk and opened it to read off of it. "Abilities: Lock picking: Proficient, Hand to Hand Combat: Proficient, Firearms: Proficient, Languages: Proficient"
Proficient? She did her best in her evaluations, she tried, she actually tried! And all she got from him was proficient. She knew there was a scale from Nonproficient to Exellent and all she got was proficient?!?! She tried hard to push away her anger into the deep pits of her stomach and stared back at him blankly so she could suffer through the rest of the assessment.
"Not bad so far." He continued. "But you can do much better in each aspect of your abilities if you give it your all. You are holding back, you can be much more than you are, I know that." He leaned forward to touch her face and stroked her skin as he grinned greedily, trying to fit her in a mold into his perfect soldier in his unrealistic expectation.
Of course, he is giving the 'talk' again. Every year, it was the same speech over and over again. Each year, he was never satisfied with the work and the effort and the tears and the sacrifices she gave him. She just wanted to make him proud and all he got for her was 'You could do better.' Anger rose in her chest, bubbling to the surface ready to burst, but she couldn't, he would be furious if that happened so she kept quiet.
"You have completed a few missions with satisfactory results with much room for improvement. For the days you will be here in Tel Aviv, I will be scheduling you for training every day, no time to waste. I need you to work harder, I can not have you loosened up from your time in America, put in more effort in your work." He finished with a shake of his head in disapproval and disappointment.
She couldn't suffer through more of this berating, his nonverbal cues were clear, message received. Not a word of encouragement, not a word of approval, not a word of praise, nothing! "Is that all?" She asked as she stood abruptly, ready to bolt out the door, she really didn't want to be here, her flight response was kicking in.
"Yes." Eli David stated with a slight nod of the head. "I assume I will be seeing you later at dinner." Ziva nodded curtly in response and with an open and close of the door, she was gone. She ran. She ran, quick as the wind and got in the car then drove erratically to her house.
The tears were coming up but she wouldn't let them fall just yet. No one could see her break in Tel Aviv, if anyone saw they would report it to her father and she would be punished and labeled as a weakling no matter her reputation and it would be tarnished forever.
She held onto her tears until she got inside, and with a slam of the door, the tears rushed forward and the hurt bloomed in her chest as she slid down the door with her back against it for support, sobbing helplessly with her hand over her mouth so no one would hear her.
In a moment of weakness, she did the one comforting thing she could think of. Shakily, she picked up the phone and clicked the first-speed dial number on her phone as tears flowed down her face and she asked herself why. I Am Never Good Enough For You, Am I?
She sat in the darkness, waiting for the phone call to go through and on the fourth ring, he picked up. "Ziver?" A rough, sleepy voice laced with warm rang in her ear through the phone.
"Oh, I am sorry if I woke you, Gibbs." Ziva said in a sniffly voice now realizing the time difference, it must have been late at night in DC.
"It's okay." A few moments passed and Gibbs asked, "Are you crying?" Not acknowledging the apology. He must have heard the jagged breathing and the soft sniffling through the phone even though Ziva tried to hide it.
"No." She denied and sniffled again but tears continued to flow down her face. "Yes." She finally replied reluctantly.
"What's wrong?" He sat up on his bed now concerned as his brow furrowed. The Mossad Officer had just left DC not 12 hours ago and she had already called him in tears.
"Nothing." She just wanted him to comfort her a few seconds ago and now that she heard his voice, she didn't want to bother him with her problems, he might think that she was weak like all the others would.
"Not nothing Ziver." The father figure responded. "You're calling me crying and I know you don't cry easily." He stated the obvious. "Tell me what's wrong." He tried to convince her to confide in him in a gentle voice, so different from the tone Eli used with her.
"Am I ever good enough for you?" Ziva asked in a small voice as she twirled her hair nervously around her finger.
"Yes, Ziver, always." The father figure replied immediately. Ziva let out an audible shaky breath, at least she had Gibbs' approval. And there was silence again as he thought for a while. "Where is this coming from? Is it your father again?" That son of a bitch Eli David was messing with her brain again.
"Yes." She said quietly. Gibbs knew her too well there was only one person who could make her feel this way. She regulated herself with a deep breath so she wouldn't break down again. "It is just that he never appreciated anything that I do for him. He had never ever said 'god job' once, not in my whole entire life." The deep breath didn't work and tears rushed down her face again and the hurt pierced through her thick armor.
"You are amazing Ziver. Never doubt that." Gibbs' heart was breaking, how dare Eli treat her this way? Even though he himself wasn't a person with many words and praised her, he still showed his affection in different little ways in any way he could. "Want me to come and kick his ass for you?"
She chuckled for the first time tonight. She loved Gibbs for that, he always made her feel better when things got tough. "No, I can handle him."
"I'm sure you can." She could hear the warm smile in his voice.
"But thanks for the offer. I have to go to have a dinner with my father now." She sighed, she better hurry if she didn't want to be late.
"Okay. Good luck Ziver." He said goodbye but not before he threatened Eli David. "Tell your father that I will come kill him personally if he did anything stupid."
She laughed at his words, he always had her back and she felt safe with him. "Thanks, Gibbs. Thanks for everything. Good night."
"Night Ziver."
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