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The Monte Carlo Misadventure

Summary:

Maxim de Winter brings his daughter Lydia along to Monte Carlo. They both think they’ve just met their future wife. Who can blame them considering Ileana is a human cinnamon roll? This can’t end awkwardly at all.

I’m back at it with another joke fic ;)

Notes:

I gift this silly little fic to Wawiii for bringing up the idea that Lydia would have a huge crush on Ileana if Ileana weren’t her stepmom and for talking me out of a week long writers block. This is going to be the first of a few fics I plan to write outside TOTLB where Lydia will be written older. They’ll all go in “Say My Name” because aus of aus my beloved. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this crack fest.

Not tagged underage because Lydia’s crush is unrequited.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The trip to Monte Carlo had been an opportunity for reconciliation. A year had passed since Rebecca’s death, and Lydia was glad that her father seemed to be trying to get close to her after months of little interaction other than cold greetings. She knew more than most that Maxim de Winter was not an outwardly affectionate person, and he could be a huge asshole at his worst, but at least he no longer scorned her for her resemblance to Rebecca.

Rebecca, not Mother, and certainly not Mama, because Lydia had realized since her death that the narcissistic bitch never deserved such a title.

She stepped out of the car, taking in the southern sun and the Mediterranean air. She had never traveled abroad before in all her 16 years of life, but as her father had said when he suggested she join him, now was as good a time as any because fuck Manderley. Lydia had to admit that he had the right idea. Now that there was a continent’s distance between her and her ancestral home, she was in quite a lighthearted mood.

“I see what you mean about travel blotting out the past. It already feels like Manderley is a world away” Lydia mused as a bellhop took their luggage to their suite.

“With any luck, it’ll stay that way” Her father replied, not nearly as at ease. Lydia couldn’t imagine why he was so tense, it wasn’t like he was hiding some huge secret that would change everything. However, he quickly hid his totally not suspicious vibes with a nonchalant smile and led her into the hotel.

Not even five minutes later, Lydia was standing off to the side while her father spoke with the concierge when noticed a middle aged woman dressed in a far too flashy outfit gesturing towards them and whispering to another, much younger woman, who was dressed much more plainly than her companion. “Oh my god, it’s Maxim de Winter and the ghost of his wife!” The middle aged woman shouted with a distinct American accent.

Lydia was highly offended at being referred to as the ghost of Rebecca. What kind of drugs was this woman on?

“Oh my fuck, not this bitch again” Lydia heard her father sigh exasperatedly. He face palmed, making sure to do so where the American lady would see.

Lydia had to admit, her father definitely knew how to be petty. She looked over at him. “You know her?” She asked.

He nodded, rolling his eyes. “That would be Mrs. Van Hopper. She’s obsessed with me for some reason. You might want to run” He warned Lydia.

She was about to do just that when Mrs. Van Hopper approached them. Well, there went that plan. “Mr. de Winter, I didn’t think I’d see you in Monte Carlo. And it seems you brought your wife back from the dead” The American laughed.

Lydia wanted to jump off a bridge. If that was going to be a running joke, it was definitely not funny. “I am…very much alive, ma’am” She scanned the lobby to try and find the nearest exit.

“My apologies, Mrs. de Winter” Mrs. Van Hopper stuck out her hand, presumably for Lydia to shake.

Lydia did not shake her hand, thank you very much.

Her father looked like he was about to vomit. “That’s my daughter, not my wife. What the devil is wrong with you?” He too was definitely looking for the nearest exit.

Mrs. Van Hopper continued to ramble on about how boring Monte Carlo had been without any important people here and how thrilled she was to run into the de Winters of Manderley, but Lydia wasn’t paying attention because the American’s plainly dressed companion had joined them. She wasn’t too much older than Lydia, and her short blonde hair, brown eyes, and smooth skin made her basically look like sunshine in a human body.

It was at this moment Lydia de Winter knew she was in love!!!

“And what do you think of Monte Carlo?” Lydia heard her father ask the young woman, completely snapping her out of her lovestruck trance.

The blonde gave an awkward smile that Lydia found so adorable. “Well, it seems a bit…artificial” She said.

Not as artificial as Rebecca, Lydia thought.

Mrs. Van Hopper laughed again. “Oh, she’s just spoiled. Most girls her age would give their eyes to see Monte. I’m sure you’d agree, Miss de Winter”

Lydia wished Mrs. Van Hopper would shut up already. “How would you see anything if you gave your eyes?” The question was rhetorical, she was mostly baffled that someone could say something that stupid.

“Yes, that would quite defeat the purpose” Her father added.

Mrs. Van Hopper laughed again, louder than before. “Has your valet unpacked for you?” She was clearly trying to waste their time by dragging out this conversation. Her younger companion looked absolutely mortified. That made two of them as far as Lydia was concerned.

She tuned out whatever was said next because she wanted to talk to the absolute goddess standing before her. “Is she always like this?” She asked.

“Yes, but she’s not all that bad once you get used to her” The blonde woman lied like a liar. 

God she was so cute. Lydia couldn’t get enough of her. “Are you sure about that?” She may look so much like Rebecca that she could be taken for her ghost, but when it comes to roasting people, Lydia was her father’s daughter.

“No” The ethereal woman whispered as if someone was going to murder her if she made her real feelings known out loud.

It was then Lydia realized she hadn’t asked a very important question. She immediately decided to remedy that. “What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m Ileana” She blushed.

That was the most beautiful sounding name to ever exist. Lydia thought it definitely suited her. “Pleased to meet you, Ileana. I’m Lydia” She introduced herself, wanting to squeal with delight that she was getting to know this woman.

“Pleased to meet you too, and thanks for distracting me from Mrs. Van Hopper” Ileana smiled, which made Lydia smile in turn. “I don’t usually meet people around my age these days, so in a way I’m glad she ambushed you and your father”

Lydia could definitely relate to that on both counts. “Me neither, apart from my cousin Roger, but he acts like a 12 year old so he doesn’t count” She giggled.

Ileana giggled along with her. “How old are you, by the way? I’m 21”

Lydia wanted to lie and say she was 18 so badly, but she had never been a very good liar. “I’m 16” She admitted, cursing the fact that she couldn’t legally simp for Ileana now.

Ileana didn’t seem to notice her disappointment, for she just smiled brighter. “If Mrs. Van Hopper decides to ambush you again, we’ll definitely become best friends” She seemed giddy at the prospect, and it rubbed off on Lydia.

“I believe we’d best be going. It was a pleasure, ladies” Lydia heard her father say.

God damn it, did he not realize she was in the middle of chatting up the cutest woman to ever walk this earth?

“I hope I’ll see you again, Ileana” Lydia told her as she followed her father towards the elevator.

Ileana just stared off into the distance, looking just as lovestruck as Lydia. That was definitely a good sign.

As soon as they were out of danger of being accosted by any more annoying people, Lydia’s father sighed with relief. “I am so glad that’s over”

Lydia shook her head. “I don’t know what you mean, I quite liked Ileana” The elevator started to move upwards towards their suite on the 6th floor.

“So did I” Her father’s expression gave absolutely nothing further away about his impression of Ileana. “Maybe next time, I’ll talk to her while you deal with the Van Hopper woman”

The next day, Lydia sat at a table in the dining room. She and her father planned to go out to the cliffs after breakfast. This confused her because he had gone to those very same cliffs on his honeymoon with Rebecca 20 years ago. Wasn’t the purpose of this trip to forget about her because they hated her?

Before she could ponder that, she saw Ileana walk in without Mrs. Van Hopper and gave a very slight wave in her direction. Maybe they could get a few moments to talk before the American showed up to ruin the vibe.

Lydia watched as Ileana made her way to the table next to her own, and promptly knocked over a vase. “Oh god, I’m so sorry” Ileana apologized when a waiter came over to wipe up the spilled water.

Her father immediately took notice and asked the waiter to set another place at their table so Ileana could join them. He only received a little pushback from Ileana before she decided to take him up on the offer. “Thank you so much,” Ileana said.

“It’s no problem. I was going to ask you to sit with us anyway” He answered like he was trying to be the most chivalrous person ever.

Lydia realized that Mrs. Van Hopper was nowhere to be seen. She found that a bit odd, but definitely wasn’t complaining. “I see Mrs. Van Hopper isn’t with you” She observed aloud.

Ileana shook her head. “She came down with the flu last night” She told Lydia.

“Damn, that sucks for her” Lydia’s father said, it was clear to the other two that he was not in the least bit sorry to hear of Mrs. Van Hopper’s illness. “Speaking of, is Mrs. Van Hopper a relative of yours?”

“No, I’m her lady’s companion. She pays me 90 pounds a year” Ileana answered.

90 pounds a year? Jesus, the least Mrs. Van Hopper could do would be to pay Ileana a better salary for putting up with her.

Lydia could tell her father agreed with this thought, for he immediately remarked that he had no idea you could buy companionship. “Do you not have any family?” He asked Ileana.

Once again, Ileana shook her head. “No, my parents are dead” She told him with a sad sigh.

“I’m sorry to hear that” Lydia said. It was another thing she could somewhat relate to, but she didn’t miss Rebecca at all and it seemed like Ileana definitely missed her parents.

“It seems like we have that in common. We’re both alone in the world” 

Well that was such a lovely thing for Lydia’s father to say. Was she a JOKE to him?

He immediately cleared his throat and added “Present company excluded”

“Good, I’d hate to think Mrs. Van Hopper’s theory about me being a ghost had actually come true” Lydia retorted.

Ileana ended up joining Lydia and her father in their journey to the cliffs, and in every other thing they did for the next week. This caused the two to become close friends very quickly. Lydia was simping so hard by then. One day, she noticed Ileana drawing something in her sketchbook, which she had realized wasn’t unusual for her. “What are you drawing?” Lydia asked her.

Ileana immediately started blushing. “Don’t tell Maxim about this, but I’m drawing him. I’m working on one of you too, but I don’t want you to see it” She put a finger to her lips as if to indicate a surprise.

It was now Lydia’s turn to blush. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me” She beamed. Maybe she had a chance with Ileana after all.

“Thanks, Lydia. You’re the sweetest” Ileana sighed with relief.

This was it. If there was any time to press her luck in romancing Ileana, it was now. “No, I think that title belongs to you”

Hopefully Ileana would stick around for two more years, or the rest of her life.

Unfortunately, Lydia’s hopes of actually confessing her feelings to Ileana were dashed when she caught whatever flu Mrs. Van Hopper had the week before. She wasn’t too terribly sick, but it was enough to keep her holed up in their suite for a few days. Her father continued to spend his time with Ileana when he wasn’t with Lydia, and it was becoming very clear that he had fallen for the young lady’s companion too.

“Ileana showed me a portrait she drew of me today. She’s such a talented artist” He told Lydia, looking way happier than he ever had before.

Lydia wasn’t that jealous. Totally not. “I know, I saw her working on it the other day. She was blushing when she told me about it. It was the cutest thing” She grinned as she spoke of the absolute icon that was Ileana.

Her father gave a knowing smirk. “You’re in love with her, Lydia. I can see it” He stated matter of factly.

Two could play this game. “So are you, Father,” Lydia replied. “I know age is just a number, but come on, you’re 20 years older than her”

“Yes, and you’re a minor” Her father quipped.

Damn it, she hated when he was right.

Lydia woke up one day to the sound of her father and Ileana talking in the main room of the suite. She didn’t catch everything, but apparently Ileana was here to say goodbye because Mrs. Van Hopper decided to leave for New York on a whim. She immediately sped up the process of getting ready so she could say her farewells to her friend and unrequited love.

Just as Lydia stepped out to greet Ileana, she heard her father say the absolute worst thing ever. “I’m asking you to marry me, you little fool”

Fuck. He did not just propose. What the fuck was happening? Lydia could do nothing but wait for Ileana to give her answer.

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t belong to your sort of world” Ileana eventually said.

Thank god. Lydia loved her to death, but NOT as a potential stepmother.

Lydia noticed her father looked really disappointed. “Oh, so it’s no. I’m sorry, I thought you might have loved me” He told the young woman.

Lydia thought the same thing, but it seemed they would both be disappointed. Maybe she could ask Ileana to write to her when she got to New York. All hope didn’t have to be lost as far as their friendship was concerned, and maybe now Lydia could hold out for two years. Would Ileana wait for her to come of age?

However, it didn’t seem that was meant to be. “I do love you, Maxim. I love you dreadfully” Ileana cried out, practically running into his arms as the two of them kissed.

Well fuck, it looked like Lydia was getting a stepmum whether she wanted it or not after all.

Notes:

Maxim being a good father for once in his life? I am so shocked. Then again, I don’t know if proposing to your daughter’s unrequited crush who’s only 5 years older than said daughter right in front of her is good parenting, but who’s getting technical? 😂

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