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After Secretary Ross left the room there was a moment of silence before Natasha said, "Tony. You're being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal."
Steve said, "It's because he's already made up his mind."
Tony opened his mouth, looked around at the Avengers, and then closed it. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his forehead. "I was going to give my opinion, but that's pointless. The only reason I was invited to this little kaffeeklatsch was out of courtesy because I'm the landlord."
Steve frowned at him. "That's not true. You're a part of this team."
Tony stared at Steve for a moment. "Since when? Did Nat change her assessment? 'Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no?' Even when SHIELD existed, I was at best an unpaid consultant."
Nat rolled her eyes. "Are your feelings still hurt over that?"
"Yeah," Sam put in, "grow up, man. We need to be a united front here."
Tony glanced at Rhodey. "Sure. Under Steve, with Liberty and Justice for All, right?"
Rhodey frowned. "Tony, you're not helping."
"I'm glad someone noticed," Tony said. "That's it exactly. I'm not helping. If Steve's team signs, I'll support them while the U.S. works out how it's going forward. I'm sure it'll take some time, be some bumps in the road. The good part is that Ross won't be in charge of the Avengers and if Steve glad hands the President, I'm sure someone sympathetic to him will be appointed."
"What?" Steve protested. "That's just what I'm against! We'll be surrendering our right to choose! What if they send us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there's somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us! We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own."
Tony got up and went over to the sink. He poured a cup of coffee, took out a pill and swallowed it, chasing it down with the coffee. "Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal?" He shook his head. "Look, I don't know what your problem is with government oversight. Of all of us, Vision and I are the only ones who never volunteered to take orders, whether it was the US military or Hydra, so you all know how it works. You either follow a line of command, or you're one of two things-- a vigilante, or a terrorist. And you can't be a vigilante in someone else's country."
There was an immediate overlapping burst of protests. Tony waited it out. "This is a United Nations accord. NATIONS. The Avengers, I hate to point it out to you, is not a nation. You're being asked to sign to acknowledge the Accords, as a publicity move, to show the world that you're not a free-roaming band of bandits. To show that you recognize the laws and rights of other people, not just governments."
"We protect people!" Steve said. "If it wasn't for us..."
Tony interrupted, "If it wasn't for us, then what? Nat talks about my ego all the time, but what I'm hearing is that you think the Avengers are essential, the only force between the world and destruction. Nat stood up in front of Congress and flat out told them that they couldn't control the Avengers. I don't know what world you think you're living in, that was not gonna fly."
Sam said, "You called them assclowns and got away with it."
Tony laughed. "If you don't see the difference between fighting an unlawful seizure of private property, and denying all responsibility for throwing SHIELD to the wolves, we're never gonna see eye to eye." Tony put down the coffee mug. "Welp, that was my two cents worth... or more accurately, my two million dollars worth. Sign or don't sign. Either way, this is your official notice that I'm not funding the Avengers any longer."
"You can't do that!" Steve said, rising to his feet and coming close to Tony.
Tony stood his ground. "Why? Why can't I, Steve? Do you want me to surrender my right to choose?"
Nat got in between them. "Stop. We're all going a little too far. Tony, you know you don't mean that. You know Steve is right."
Tony stared at Nat. "Steve is the leader of the Avengers. That doesn't give him the ability to always be right."
Wanda jumped up. "You make mistakes all the time! You got my family killed! Pietro died because you made Ultron!"
Tony shifted his gaze to her. "I'm sorry for your family, but funding the Avengers without oversight would just lead to more tragedies. I'm sure you don't want that. Also, think about this. If the Avengers winds up under the government umbrella, you might be allowed to stay in the U.S."
Vision said, "I thought you were obtaining a visa for Wanda?"
"It's the least you can do!" Wanda said as Vision put an arm around her.
Tony shook his head. "It's actually more than I can do. My lawyers went over it with me. The only way it could work would be if no one knew she'd been Hydra. Maybe we could have got away with it if you all stayed in the U.S. but after Lagos... well, once you're on the International Stage, everyone is looking at you. There's already been unofficial enquiries from Sokovia."
"You have to do something, Tony! This is your responsibility!" Steve said.
"No, it's really not." Tony replied. "So, here's the deal. Sign the Accords, show willing, and I'll interim fund the Avengers until the U.S. can get you organized. In the meantime, the quinjets are locked down, bar an actual emergency that Maria Hill approves."
Steve opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, his phone rang. He looked at it, and said, "I have to go."
"Go?" Tony said. "Go where?"
Steve whirled and glared at Tony. "Peggy's gone. Do I have your permission to pay my last respects!" He didn't wait for an answer, but ran out of the room.
Tony shook his head. "Well, fuck. Just what the day needed."
Rhodey came over and stood at Tony's side. "You have to let him go, you know that."
"Go where? The nursing home? A funeral parlor? Whatever service her family holds in...where? She died in the U.S. but her family is in the U.K. Steve's really not thought this out." Tony got his phone. "Maria, Steve just heard that Margaret Carter died. He's on a rampage, don't get in his way. Let him take a quin-jet, but make sure the trip log is active." Tony waited for her acknowledgment and then he turned back to the Avengers.
"So, you have three days to make your decision. Most of you really have a lot longer than that, as long as you don't stir up any trouble. If you don't do anything, it'll be assumed that you've retired as Avengers. Wanda..." Tony looked at her. "you're on your own."
"No," Vision said. "I will stand by her side."
Wanda looked at Vision gratefully.
Tony shrugged, "Well, then, that's your decision. Good luck. You're going to need it." Tony turned and walked out with Rhodey at his side.
"They have no idea," Rhodey said.
Tony nodded. "It's going to be a disaster. Time for plan B."
"What is plan B?"
"I don't know yet. I'll figure something out." Tony looked up at the sky. He sighed. "I'm the only one who saw what was up there, Rhodey. We slammed the door on the short cut, that's all. I can't do it on my own, so I clung to the Avengers, but really it was stupid thinking half a dozen people could protect the world. We have to think bigger."
"What do you want, a private army? You'd need a country to make it legal and you can't buy a country. Trump couldn't buy Greenland, you know," Rhodey said, making a joke.
"I don't need to buy a country. Just the government," Tony said. "There are a lot of countries who'd be thrilled to have Stark Industries set up a training camp for security forces. The economy would be booming."
"Tony... no, that's a bad idea. A very bad idea."
"That's my specialty," Tony said with a grin.