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The walk home always felt like a special time for Mika. They always went together, no matter what. It was easier that way, especially when they were sharing a key. At least, that’s what Shu always said. Mika didn’t mind, it was true.
It was nice to have some time for just the two of them, oftentimes when they were at school they’d be with their respective grades, and every extracurricular was either practice for their lives, costume work, or a part time job. The walk home was none of that. There was nothing special about it, and really that’s just what made it so special to Mika. He could talk about anything, and everything, without the guise or context about work.
Mika would make them last longer if they could. Maybe not today, though. Not with how cold and snowy it was.
“Ngahh…”
“Quit whining, of course it’s cold out. It’s best not to dwell on it. Complaining makes everyone around you suffer too,” said Shu, shivering a bit himself.
Mika could see his own breath as he walked onwards, trying to find something enjoyable about this walk so it wouldn’t be ruined by seasonal forces of nature.
The snow did look nice, especially on the bare trees. There was a light flurry in the air, Shu’s hair and jacket were dusted in snowflakes. In his left hand sat Mademoiselle, dressed up in her own winter jacket. Mika smiled, he remembered Shu making that outfit a few weeks ago. He always took such good care of her, making her new outfits to match her own so she had a full wardrobe. Shu made him clothes too, sometimes. But he felt a little jealous, wishing that Shu would match outfits with him outside of their live shows.
“Sorry, ‘m just real cold since I don’t have any gloves…” He didn’t like admitting this to Shu, bracing himself for an ‘I told you so’ moment or a lecture of some sort.
“Kagehira, do you sincerely believe you should be out here without gloves?” asked Shu, pinching the bridge of his nose. Ah, so it was a lecture this time. Mika didn’t mind, it honestly felt a bit nice to have someone care so much they fussed over him. He’d do better next time, show Shu that he really was capable of change.
“I forgot ‘em at home this morning,” sighed Mika. “I was in a hurry ‘cause I overslept.”
“You must seriously have worms in your brain, you’re going to get frostbite,” lectured Shu. Mika grumbled. If he got frostbite, he wouldn’t be able to help Shu sew outfits, and he’d certainly get replaced then. He was already a defective doll, he didn’t need to be a broken one too. Mika sighed.
“It’s okay, Mika-chan, Shu-kun will share his gloves with you,” said Mademoiselle. Even Shu seemed surprised by this.
“I never said I was going to do that-“
“But you don’t want Mika-chan to get frostbite, do you? They’ll have to snap his fingers off, poor Mika-chan… And it could have all been avoidable had you simply wanted to share.”
“Fine, if you insist, Mademoiselle,” said Shu, stopping to take his right glove off. He handed it to Mika.
“Eh? For me? But yer gonna get frostbite on yer hand too if ya don’t cozy it up,” said Mika, still accepting the gift.
“I’ll just put it in my coat pocket,” said Shu, solving the problem immediately. Right, Shu always seemed to have an answer to everything. That was just how creative and adaptable he was. Mika wished he could be as quick thinking, maybe someday.
He slipped the glove on his right hand… Was indirect hand holding a thing? Shu’s glove was warm, so warm that Mika felt like just for now he could pretend that it was Shu’s own hand warming him up. Afterall, it was his leftover heat.
Mika breathed in and out again, looking at the fog that left his mouth. He smiled.
“Hey, Oshi-san, it’s like ‘m a dragon… Haaaaaaah~”
Shu rolled his eyes.
“Well, normally you seem to have steam coming out of your ears every time I ask you to do something, I suppose it’s finally redirected out of your mouth.”
“Aha, maybe.”
Mika chewed on the inside of his cheek. Shu didn’t seem too talkative today, maybe it was because they were both frigid and wanted nothing else than to go home and unwind with some hot chocolate or a bubble bath. Shu’s bubble bath, Mika would have to wait his turn, Shu always claimed it first.
No, more than anything else he wanted to be cuddled up to Shu. Shu had already given him his gloves, but Mika’s mind filled with the idea of Shu giving him so much more, like a jacket or a hat and scarf he’d so tenderly knit himself. His mouth flattened out into a blissed smile.
Maybe he could pretend it was a bit icy out, and grab on to Shu’s arm for support. Shu would surely scold him, yell at him for being a clumsy dunce, but he’d always finish it off with a playful headpat.
No, he really shouldn’t do it… What if he knocked Shu over and he got hurt? What if he made Shu drop Mademoiselle? Oh he’d never forgive himself for it. Mika shook his head to himself, it was a stupid idea. As much as he wanted to cozy himself up to him, he shouldn’t bother someone like Shu with his selfish intentions.
Mika snapped out of his internal thoughts as he heard Shu’s voice.
“Ah-!”
Shu’s hand grabbed Mika’s tightly as he lost his balance on the sidewalk. Mika almost fell forward as well but grounded himself better to keep Shu from dragging him down.
Mika paused to allow Shu to steady himself, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he calmed down from almost eating ice on the pavement.
“Whoever was in charge of keeping this sidewalk shoveled and cleared should be fired,” snapped Shu. Mika thought they should get a raise. But he found it hard to focus on what Shu was saying, as he didn’t let go of his hand at all. Quite the opposite, he held it firmly as if he still needed to use Mika for support.
Even his slip was graceful. There wasn’t anything Shu could do that seemed out of place to Mika.
“Ehe, Oshi-san yer cheeks are all red,” teased Mika as he saw the blush spread across Shu’s cheeks. That only seemed to make him more flustered, grip tightening around Mika’s hand as he continued to stare forward.
“Surely you’ve noticed it’s rather chilly out, they’ll return to normal once we’re warmed up inside. These conditions are almost inhumane, completely inhospitable,” said Shu. Always and forever an excuse. That was okay, just being in his presence was enough for Mika, especially when he was acting so cute.
…Shu really should have let go of his hand by now. Mika felt anxious waiting for it, like any second now Shu was going to snap and tell him to ‘stop grabbing on’ or that he ‘wasn’t a child and didn’t need to be guided home’ or something of the sort.
But he didn’t.
His hand stayed, fingers entwined with Mika’s as they continued to walk, mostly in silence save for the crunch of the snow beneath their feet.
Mika felt like even the slightest movement would ruin everything, like he was holding a delicate snowflake and trying to preserve it. Maybe Shu didn’t realize that they were still holding hands. Or perhaps he noticed that it was more efficient to stay warm if their bare hands were touching together. Mika knew a little bit about penguins from watching documentaries, but one thing he did remember was that they braved the cold in huddles.
Was this a huddle? Could two people and a doll be enough?
Mika inched closer to Shu, letting their arms rub up briey, before realizing Shu wasn’t straying away. He felt Shu’s hand shift and for a moment he was sure he was going to let go but instead he felt Shu’s thumb rubbing the back of his hand.
Mika squeezed, Shu squeezed back.
They didn’t talk for the rest of the walk home, not entirely looking at each other either. Mika didn’t want to make eye contact with him, no, not when he didn’t want to be the first to acknowledge that they were holding hands. There was no reason for them to hold them this long, besides the fact it was cold, to which Mika was in agony as Shu had slowed the pace down.
But if he could, he’d make the walk last forever too. Because the moment they stepped inside the warm house, Shu’s reason would be gone and there was absolutely no excuse for them to be this close. They’d let go and keep silent like it never happened. What was there to talk about? If it was out of the ordinary why hadn’t Mika said something earlier?
Maybe they could forget about excuses, just this once.
If Shu asked, Mika would tell him he held his hand because he wanted to. And he always would, so long as Shu would let him.