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Chan was tired. He was still in the practice room, trying to perfect his movements. Their practice actually ended a few hours ago but he decided to stay in the company since he had a few meeting with the choreographers. The rest of the members left after Chan finally convinced them that he was going to be okay on his own. He grabbed his bag from the floor and immediately headed to the choreographer’s room, worried that he was going to be late.
He knocked the door, and entered after hearing their choreographers silent “Come in!” from the inside of the meeting room. The choreographer looked up to him then turned his eyes to the laptop that was on the table. “What is this?” asked the choreographer, clearly annoyed. Chan was confused, he knew there was no copying moves or mistakes in the last dance he choreographed taht might’ve caused this. “What do you mean, hyung ?” he asked nicely but instead of an explanation or answer, he was met with a loudly shouting choreographer.
“How many times i have to tell you to do this choreo better? Do you even understand me you stupid? This is not right, not acceptable at all, there are children who are better than you, take this away, it is disgusting!” He slammed the laptop closed and kept shouting at him. He noticed he started shaking, it didn’t look like it was not going to end soon or just end good. Even if he tried to say something, his words will just disappear in the choreographer’s loud voice.
His tears formed in his eyes, making his vision blurry. He couldn’t stand this anymore, it wasn’t the first time it happened. Before their group practice started, another choreographer called him to a meeting and talked about the same choreo he was getting shouted st right now. She said the same things, how the choreo was boring and disappointing. He wiped away his tears and ran out of the door after getting his bag.
He could hear both of the choreographers voices in his head and how the choreo was disappointing and bad. He worked hard in that choreo. Even though he gave his all, it wasn’t good, he was useless. He ran out of the company and stand in the middle of the dark, cold night. He called a company car to take him to the dorm. He knew everyone was asleep by now since it was pretty late at night. He thought about the things they said the whole car ride.
He opened the door of their dorm as quiet as possible and closed it after getting in the dorm. He walked to the living room tiredly and put his bag on the couch knowing he was probably going to get scolded for that in the morning. He went into his room and got a pair of clean clothes and walked right into the shower. While taking off his clothes, he noticed how tired and exhausted he actually looked. He stared at himself for a while, after breaking eye contact with his reflection on the mirror he got in to the shower and took a shower in the cold water. He knew he was probably going to get sick, but he didn’t really care.
He wrapped a towel around his waist and grabbed another towel for his hair. He closed the door of the bathroom after brushing his teeth and getting out. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, he was sleepy. After quickly changing to his clothes, he layed down on the bed and closed his eyes. As he was slowly drifting off to sleep, he covered himself with the blankets and fell asleep.
“You are not good enough.”
”Why are you in this group, you can’t do anything.”
“Just leave, you are useless anyway.”
“Worthless.”
”You are not good enough.”
Many people were talking, Chan was standing straight in the middle of them. Their faces were full of hate, they all thought he had no purpose. Chan felt tears runnings down his face. They were right, he was useless.
Chan woke up trying to catch a breath and his eyes wide open. He slowly sat up and took an afraid look around the room. He was alone, the people who was in his dream wasn’t there. He relived and his muscles relaxed. But he was still in alert, his mind was full of the cruel things he heard that day. He tried hard not to cry. He tried to wipe his tears but only met with tears that already fell and made his face wet. As the things he heard in the day and his dream filled his mind, he found himself sobbing in tears. He tried to calm himself down with silencing his sobs and thinking about good things.
He calmed down after a while but, unable to stop his tears from forming, there was only one option left. Seungcheol. He was their leader and all he wanted was a comforting hug from their oldest. He got out of the bed with teary eyes and made his way to the bedroom that belonged to the leader. He stopped right in front of the door, he didn’t think he mattered, and shouldn’t knock and interrupt his hyung’s sleep.
Hid hand moved on their own and he knocked on the door. After not getting any answer in return, he opened the door as quiet as possible and closed the door after him. He walked up to the leader who was sleeping peacefully with his messy hair and clothes. He sat in the floor and sniffled as he looked at the older admiringly. His nonstopping sniffles were enough for the older the wake up confused. Chan got away and looked at him shyly, waiting for a scolding.
But the things he was waiting for never came. Seungcheol mumbled a “Channie, what are you doing here?” as he rubbed his eyes to get rid of the blurry vision. Chan stared at the floor, “I had a nightmare.” Seungcheol frowned but his eyes softened when he saw the state Chan was in. “Channie, come here.” Seungcheol lifted the covers so Chan could snuggle next to him in bed. Chan couldn’t help but let his tears fall as he climbed into the bed.
“It’s okay baby, it’s okay.” Seungcheol reassured him and hugged him as close as possible by holding the younger waist as the other held his shoulders. “Do you want to talk about your nightmare, Channie ?” said Seungcheol in a comfort voice as he caressed Chan’s back as he hugged him close. Chan told him about every single thing he heard during the day and his nightmare as well as the reason he was crying.
Seungcheol kissed the top of Chan’s head as he hid his face in Seungcheol’s nape of his neck. “You are a beautiful dancer Channie. We all know how much you tried to perfect it and worked hard to make that choreography. You showed us the dance before and it was amazing, the choreographers might be stressed or was mad at something else. But whatever they said is not true, you deserve to be here baby, you worked hard for this. You are not useless, i know you are thinking about it, but you are loved by Carats and the rest of Seventeen. You are enough, you are always enough.”
Chan sniffled and hugged closer to Seungcheol. He needed this words being said by his hyung. He was slowly drifting off to sleep but was scared of the nightmares so he tried to keep his eyes open. Seungcheol got Chan’s face out of the nape of his neck and said “Let’s sleep baby, you need to get a good rest. okay ?” Chan mumbled about the nightmares, even though Seungcheol had trouble understanding at first he realized what was Chan talking about.
“I’m going to be here the whole night, Channie. I promise i’ll help you if you have any nightmares, but now we need to sleep. I know you came home later than you should’ve.” said Seungcheol, jokingly scolding him to make Chan laugh. And it worked, Chan let out a little giggle and Seungcheol hugged him close and smiled at how cute Chan was.
Seungcheol was the first one to wake up in the morning. He yawned and stretched his arms. He sat up and looked at Chan who was sleeping peacefully next to him while hugging his torso. He faintly smiled and caressed Chan’s hair, getting it out of his face in the motion. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and checked the time. 07.35am He shrug his shoulders and put his phone on the table again. They didn’t have any schedules in the morning so waking up early didn’t mean anything. He hugged Chan again as the younger cuddled up closer to him. He left a kiss on the younger hair and caressed it slowly as he fell asleep.
After a few hours, the younger woke up and blinked a few times to get his vision to normal. He raise his head from the nape of his hyung’s neck and looked around the room. His confused expression from not remembering anything clearly since he just woke up faded away as memories and the older’s voice filled his head. He looked up to see if Seungcheol woke up but he was met with a still peacefully sleeping Seungcheol.
To not disturb him, he tried to get out of the olders hold and get up but Seungcheol just cuddled him tightly and mumbled something about both of them need sleep to not get exhausted quickly during the day. Chan was happy to obey and get more sleep. He knew he was lucky to have his hyung’s next to him to cheer him up every time something upsets him happens. Chan went to sleep as soon as he closed his eyes so they ended up cuddling close in the bed and sleeping until they wake up because of the rest of the members being too loud in a no-schedule morning.