Work Text:
The room was dark now that no one turned on the lights at 2 in the morning, they were all huddled together in some sort of circle shape, conversing with each other instead of sleeping.
Ash and red were bickering again, like always, this time though, Branzy and Clown were observing them.
"Okay, but like, I'm still better than you," Ash simply stated.
Red gasped dramatically before replying, "I won that fundraiser you know?"
"You did not," Ash begins to narrow his eyes, "There wasn't even a winner."
“I totally beat you in grades though,” Red pointed out, “I won university.”
“I had better grades than you most of the time, Red.” Ash contradicted.
“I graduated with first class honors,” A sly smirk appeared on Red’s face, “You graduated with upper second class honors.”
Branzy nudged Clown a bit, shutting him a look before speaking louder, “I bet Ash would have a better proposal than Red.”
Both of the bickering males immediately turned their heads to Branzy.
“WHAT?” Red exclaimed.
“Take that, you flaming piece of shit!!” Ash replied smugly.
“Oh, you think I’m hot now?” He teased and continued, “I would have the best proposal ever. Knock you right out of the park.”
Ash who now had a red tinted face opened his mouth in retaliation but closed it again as he tried to think. He decided to lift an eyebrow as a taunt, “Really now? That’s not what Branzy said.”
The attention was on Branzy once again, who was cuddling with Clown.
Seeing them tangled together sparked an idea in Red’s head, “Say, Clown. Who do you think would have the better proposal?”
“I think you guys are both too much of a coward to propose,” Clown immediately said when Red asked, “Especially if you’re proposing to each other.”
―――
Red would not stand this absolute disrespect. He would plan the best proposal ever, to Ash, not because he had absolutely zero romantic interests in Ashwagg, and it is just to prove he is better. That’s what he is telling himself.
Just because he blushed when Ash gave him the occasional, usually backhanded, compliment does not mean anything. Just because he wants to win when Ash was the competition, doesn’t mean he also wants to win his heart right?
He pushes those thoughts to the back of his head as he needed to start to plan a proposal so perfect that Ash couldn’t win; and to do that, he first needed Ash’s ring size, and not ask him for it, because that’d be too obvious! He had to be subtle.
So Red waited. He waited until everyone eventually fell back asleep and grabbed a measuring tape out of nowhere and started measuring, unbeknownst to him that Ash was waiting for Red to sleep so he could do the same thing.
Ash decided to let Red measure his ring finger and continued to steadily breathe in and out to not alert Red that he was, in fact, not asleep. He let Red take in his small victories, and if a small smile painted his face, nobody had to know.
Ash had waited for a few more hours after Red measured his ring finger to go measure Red’s himself.
―――
Ash thought about it. Clown and Branzy’s words shouldn’t have affected him so much, but he would rather die than prove them right, that he was too cowardly to propose to Red.
So he also started to plan. After Red measured his ring finger, he knew he had to work fast so he could have the advantage of being first. Ash knew Red liked his money. Quite a lot. He tapped his chin and hummed as an idea appeared in his head.
―――
“Red,” Ash tried to greet as casually as he could, “Meet me at the bank.”
“What the fuck?” Red replied, his voice crackling slightly from the phone, “Ash, it’s 8 in the fucking morning, the bank isn’t even open yet.”
Red’s voice was laced with sleep and it was deep and raspy, and Ash would never admit that he blushed, “It’ll be open when you get your ass out of bed.”
Ash could see Red roll his eyes even through the phone screen, “Why would you need to go to the bank so early anyways?”
“Just go,” Ash let out a sigh for dramatics, “Are you backing out?”
He knew how to press Red’s buttons, and if doing that meant that Red would stop complaining and get himself to the bank, then he would do it.
Red groaned through the phone and hung up. Ash knew that was his cue to go to the bank and wait for Red.
―――
“Ashwagg. Pray tell why exactly you need me at the bank the moment it opens?”
Red’s eyebags were carefully concealed. He was severely lacking sleep because he was busy planning out the perfect proposal for Ash, and he would not back out of some stupid request from him either.
“Awww,” Ash cooed mockingly, “Is little jackass here tired?”
Red frowned, “Answer the question.”
Ash rolled his eyes playfully and walked inside the bank without explanation. They walked into the bank that was surprisingly filled with people, and Ash whipped his body around to face Red.
“Mr Doons. Reddoons. Red,” Ash began, hands tucked behind his back, “You have been a glorious addition to my life, I can’t imagine living without a motherfucker like you anymore-”
In his hands, he held the ring he crafted with polished gold and a 5 carat diamond that Ash would’ve made more impressive, bigger, but he had taste and a diamond any bigger would ruin the ring’s proportions.
Just as he was about to kneel down and show Red the ring, the alarms on the bank started to ring.
“EVERYBODY GET DOWN!” A man with a black ski mask grabbed Red who was in front of him and held a shotgun to Red’s head, “OR I WILL SHOOT.”
The perfect proposal. Ruined. Goddamnit, fuck him. With a flick of a wrist he glitched the man away to somewhere in the void. The show must go on, Ash still had the advantage of being the first one to propose. Afterall, the first to propose was basically an automatic win, right?
“As I was saying before I got interrupted,” Ash actually knelt down this time and pulled the ring out, “Would you marry me?”
The silence was spread throughout the bank.
“No.”
“No?!” Ash shouted incredulously, “What are you, scared to accept?”
Red shook his head and sighed, turning to the exit, “Wait and see, motherfucker.”
―――
After 73 hours of sleep straight after days of planning, Red had finally decided on his plan to propose to Ash. He had several, but he chose the most cliché romantic one.
His gloved hands landed rhythmically to Ash’s door for a couple seconds before it eventually opened.
“What’s with finding each other at unholy hours?” Ash glared at Red, who was on his doorstep at 1am.
Red grinned, “Come on, get ready and let’s go.”
Ash blinked owlishly in confusion, did they plan to meet up at…1am? No. No way he would forget about his plans with Red. Not because he lov- liked meeting up with Red, just so that he wouldn’t give Red a reason to tease him. Totally.
He decided to slam the door shut in Red’s face and went back to his bedroom to get ready, he was sure Red would get it.
Moments later when he opened the door, he was greeted by Red sitting on his doorstep instead of standing like he was before.
Ash’s hair was now braided tidily, dark skin lit up by the moon, and Red’s mouth parted slightly in surprise and blushed slightly, hoping that it’s dark enough to hide it. He stood up and dusted himself, holding his hand out for Ash, who hesitantly took it and winced.
With Ash’s hand in his, he began to drag him to the beach nearby, which was all set up for his proposal.
“You’re proposing aren’t you?” questioned Ash.
Red decided to leave Ash in suspense until they got to the spot.
“Mr Swagg, Ashswagg, Ash,” Red began before he was interrupted by Ash.
He crossed his arms and stood his ground, “Now you’re just copying me.”
Red shushed him before continuing, “You have made such a big impact on my life, which I wish didn’t happen most of the time. We met at high school and now we’re both graduated from university, and I would like to ask for your hand in marriage.”
He was now kneeling on the sand with his ring, which was with the standard gold band, and a large purple tinted diamond shining in the middle.
Ash was obviously shocked at the gemstone, since purple diamonds were so incredibly rare, he shook his head a bit before responding, “Fuck you asshole.”
Ash raised his middle finger at Red before running back to his house, heart pounding because he was running and not for any other reason, leaving Red still kneeling at the beach.
―――
The next time they tried to propose to each other was a special one. They were both rushing to each other's houses to propose to each other, once again during an ungodly time.
They both shouted their respective names across the street as they ran towards each other.
“Ash, come to-”
“Red! Go to-”
Their voices clashed together and they both shutted their mouths for a second before continuing, “You know the mountain next the the sea nearby-”
“You’re coming to go to a cliffside with me-”
They paused again, this time Ash speaking first, “Okay, shut up Red.”
Red rolled his eyes but complied.
“You’re going to come to the mountain by the seaside with me. Right now.”
His response was to arch an eyebrow and not respond.
A few more moments passed before Ash spoke up again, “Ughy, you can speak now you smartass!”
“I’m flattered you think I’m smart,” Red grinned, “Lead the way, motherfucker.”
They rested atop the mountain on a picnic blanket as they gazed at the moon that shined brightly that night.
Both Red and Ash were fiddling with their respective rings as they waited for the perfect moment.
“Ash,” Red began first this time, “I’m not saying that whole speech thing again. But I will-”
“Red,” Ash hurried muttered out before Red could finish his sentence, “Marry me.”
Fireworks started to explode in the distance, patterns of money and coins displaying in the dark sky.
“No, marry me,” Red kneeled down and pulled out the new and improved version of his ring.
The purple diamond was still on the ring, but the band was now made with a mixture of obsidian, gold and iron, there was amethyst powder sprinkled throughout the entire ring, making it more shiny.
More fireworks started to explode, this time the pattern was different. There was purple stars and sunglasses mixed in with the money and wealth, glitch patterns scattered throughout.
“Who won?” Red asked, still kneeling.
“Me.” Ash simply replied.
“Nah.”
“What makes you think you won?”
Red replied by pressing his lips against Ash, “That’s why.”
Ash blushed furiously now, “T-that’s totally unfair!” he stammered out.
He just shrugged, “Still won.”
They sat in silence for a few seconds before any of them said anything.
“Let’s go get married right now,” Ash responded.
Red glanced at his expensive brand name watch, “It’s 3am.”
“Exactly. It’s going to be funny.”
Red just shrugged non-committedly and began packing up as the fireworks continued in the background, neither of them paying attention to it anymore.
―――
Red and Ash officially got married at 3:57 AM on a Monday.
They met up with Branzy and Clown sooner or later, showing off their marriage certificate.
“Wow!!” Branzy cheered loudly, “You guys actually did it!”
“Why wouldn’t we?”
“‘Cause it was just a tease,” he shrugged, “I didn’t mean to actually challenge you guys!”
“We proposed to each other 3 times for that?”
Clown snickered, “You guys needed to propose 3 times?”
“I proposed first, Red was just being a shit,” Ash bit back, “My proposal was perfect.”
Clown did not seem persuaded, especially with what Red said after it.
“Yeah, so perfect that I got a gun to my head.”
“Oh wow,” Branzy interrupted, “That…escalated quickly.”
“Really, Ash, you couldn’t even propose without checking foreseeable events?”
“Okay, how the fuck was that a foreseeable event?”
As they continued to bicker and argue in the background, Branzy turned to Clown once again, “We aren’t that bad right?”
Clown shook his head, “We were never that bad, even when we were newly weds.”
Branzy sighed, “Should’ve never teased them about it.”
His partner nodded, “They’re going to argue constantly and then make out as apology, now that it’s an option.”
They both waited for Ash and Red to stop arguing about which proposal was better, and carefully escaped the scene when Clown’s word eventually was proven true as they started pressing kisses against each other's lips.