Chapter Text
Loki followed his older brother closely as they arrived at the train station, trying to resist the urge to cling onto his backpack as they weaved through the crowd. He knew that the group would be large, as their country club was rather expansive, but he hadn’t expected to see this many young men show up. There were probably at least forty, and Loki knew that it was their group judging by the way they all wore polo shirts and colorful shorts and congregated with seemingly no regard for anyone else who may be walking through the station.
Traditionally, these young men’s retreats hadn’t used a train, but had been taken on a luxurious private bus or even private jet to some sort of glam campground. But this year, in an attempt to appear relatable, the planners had elected to make the destination the journey itself and to allow the group of boys ages 18 to 25 the not-so-outdoorsy experience of spending their week on a luxuriant train, traveling around the country to visit a handful of national parks and stay in hotels, with hardly any hiking or cabins involved.
Loki felt rather guilty being so pessimistic about the whole experience. He never really wanted to go, especially this year, given that he had recently received an “L” stamped on his driver’s license. In fact, Littles usually weren’t allowed at these events no matter their biological age, but parents have their ways. It was Thor’s last year being able to go, they had told him, and Loki hadn’t even really regressed anyway, so he had come along dragging his extra “special” suitcase with him.
Thor immediately disappeared into the crowd of his friends, leaving Loki at the outskirts like he always did. Apparently Loki’s new delegation as a Little didn’t do much to change anything about that, even with a laminated card around his neck with his name and “Little” written in big bold letters underneath it to remind anyone within a twenty-five foot radius of him just in case they forgot.
He folded his arms and leaned against a stone column, trying to hide the backside bulk of the stupid diaper he had to wear as he waited for some over-excited counselor to come and talk to the rest of the group, quiet them down, maybe try some sort of chant game before checking their tickets and boarding them on the train.
“Loki Odinson?”
An older man approached him. He had a dopey, folksy smile and a silver mustache that matched his equally silver hair. He must’ve been a coordinator or counselor although Loki didn’t recognize him.
He held out his hand. “I’m Mobius. I’m gonna be your chaperone on this trip.”
Loki didn’t shake it immediately.
“You’re dressed in a lot of black for a little guy,” Mobius added playfully. “Anything I can get you before we go? We’ve got about…” he checked his watch, “20 minutes. Food? Water? A change?”
“I can change myself, thanks-- and I’m not a ‘little guy’,” Loki told him, pushing himself off the pillar.
Mobius walked with him.
“Why are you following me?” Loki asked.
“It’s my job. I won’t come in the stall with you. I’ll let you do it yourself, but the rules are I gotta keep you closeby. Can’t let you go off on your own, especially here before the train departs.”
“I don’t regress. It was a mistake. Doctors make mistakes all the time.”
“I’m sure, but I still gotta do my job just in case.”
Loki locked himself in a stall and began to unzip his bags for his supplies, all while knowing that this stranger was waiting just outside. He had practiced changing himself on his own, but mostly while laying down, this would be a little different, crammed into the stall.
He swore as a tape ripped.
“You okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine,” Loki asserted.
“Y’know in the future it might be more comfortable to just use the changing table instead of trying to stand up like that..”
“I’d rather do it like this. Besides, there won’t be room for me to lie down on the train.”
“There’s a changing table. I promise.”
“I don’t think there will be enough room for me to lie down,” Loki repeated. He could almost see over the flimsy stall barriers as it was now.
“Look, I know you want to be a grown-up and don’t want to drop but if it’s really gonna take this long every time because you wanna stand up and do it alone, I don’t think everyone you’re sharing that bathroom with is going to be too happy.”
Loki ignored him. “It won’t take that long. I’m nearly done.” It was only another few seconds of Loki trying to shimmy his pants up over the ill-taped diaper and repacking his supplies. “See?”
“Yeah, you did it,” Mobius shrugged as Loki washed his hands.
“Anything we need to pick up before we get on the train in case you drop? You’ve got diapers, but need any pacifiers? A sippy cup? A couple of toys?”
“No,” Loki said flatly.
“Wow, passing up a new toy? You weren’t kidding about the doctors being wrong, huh?”
“Don’t patronize me,” Loki grumbled.
“Hey, you got your tickets, right?”
Loki fumbled around for them in his pockets before showing the man.
“You’re so put together, maybe you really don’t need me around.” He nudged Loki in the arm.
He was right, Loki really didn’t need him-- or want him around.
As the crowd of Loki’s supposed campmates filed onto the train, Loki and his chaperone hung back and waited.
Admittedly, Loki was a bit thankful for that. Being squished in the crowd was not something he particularly enjoyed.
But he also noticed the way that Mobius almost instinctively tried to hold his hand as he showed off the tickets and badges to the conductor, a gesture that Loki refused, hiding his hands behind his back.
There was one drawback to being the last to board, and that was walking down the filled aisles in search of a seat at the very very back of the cart, having to face all of the people he tangentially knew the names of. He hadn’t actually spoken to many of these young men and mostly just knew what their parents did or that Thor had played football with them in high school.
Loki scooted into a window seat at the back of the car, where Mobius joined him.
They listened to the speech about having a great week and community and how special it was that everyone was together patiently. At least Mobius was being patient, he seemed to be actually listening while Loki slouched down and looked out the window, waiting for the train to lurch forward and out of the station.
Unfortunately, the lurch was only done after the speaker had finished and the safety demonstrations were done. How boring . At least last year when they got a flight based vacation, someone had had a panic attack and that had been fun to watch. But it seemed that trains weren’t so scary.
“You got something to do?” Mobius asked.
Loki opened a book from his backpack.
“Good, glad to see it… Is it any good?”
Loki nodded. “It’s fine. It passes the time”
Mobius took out his own book and patiently started to read. It was about trains, Loki noticed.
The chaperone looked up from his book. “You a train kind of guy?” he asked.
“Not particularly,” Loki said shortly as he stuck his nose back into his own book.
No matter how much time passed though, Loki couldn’t read. He skimmed the same paragraph over and over again without comprehending, and eventually took to simply staring out the window as he felt his stomach starting to twist. He took out his phone and started checking his social media feeds.
Eventually, Mobius put his book down and tapped Loki’s shoulder, “psst, it’s been an hour. You holding up okay?”
“Holding up okay? Yes, I’m fine.”
“Just checking. You don’t want to stretch your legs, get some water with me?”
“No? And I won’t need to for another hour.”
“I’m assuming that means no change, either?”
“No,” Loki said flatly.
Mobius got up and stretched with his arms up over his head. He walked to the front end of the car and spoke to a young counselor on staff. Loki recognized him as Steve Rogers, a young man with blonde crew-cut hair who had previously been walking around and chatting casually with other campers. Loki didn’t know him well, but he was a friend of the family’s and had been nothing but kind in the few interactions they had had with one another. He was still young enough to attend, yet here he was running the whole event.
Loki could feel them both gazing at him as he tried to read.
He set the book down and tried to stare out the window again, but the feeling stayed with him. He could see them talking in the reflection at the front of the cart; nodding at the other person, pointing down the train’s path, but not at anyone in particular.
Loki couldn’t make out what they were saying… Was it about him? It wasn’t like he could just go ask, so he resolved to open his phone and play a game or perhaps text Hela back at home until maybe the train would turn around or the sun suddenly exploded, annihilating the universe as Loki knew it… whatever came first as long as it meant getting off this train quicker.