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It’s karaoke night, and Buck is on the stage, holding the mic and singing his heart out. He’s dancing around, his cheeks flushed pink and somehow he’s glowing under the dim lights in the bar, like he’s lighting up the entire place all on his own. Eddie looks at Buck from his seat in the audience and he just knows that there’s a twinkle in Buck’s gorgeous blue eyes, and he can’t help but think about how beautiful Buck looks right now, and —
Eddie stops himself. He can’t think like this. He’s with Ana. He likes Ana. She’s a good person. She’s sweet, kind and pretty, and she’s good with Chris.
Sure, sometimes she can be a bit insensitive or oblivious, and there are times where Christopher has hidden in his room to avoid spending time with her when she comes over (he never hides when Buck is around).
Sure, Eddie constantly has to remind her that he dislikes being called Edmundo, and gets angry whenever she calls Buck “Evan” because Buck’s entire face falls, his shoulders slump and the twinkle in his eye is gone in a flash. (Buck always covers it up before anyone can catch it, but Eddie knows him too well to miss it.)
Sure, Eddie hates when Ana tries to force herself into family activities with his son and best friend (because Buck is family), but every relationship has its ups and downs, right?
Eddie is pulled from his thoughts when he feels Ana guide his arm around her while she rests her head on his shoulder, which now feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. But he ignores the feeling, kisses Ana’s head like a good boyfriend is supposed to, and takes a sip of his beer before turning his attention back to Buck.
Eddie should probably be paying attention to his girlfriend. Chimney has an arm around Maddie, Athena is tucked into Bobby’s side, and Karen is sitting on Hen’s lap as they, along with everyone else there, watch Buck, who is now making his way around the bar, singing the bridge of some love song. But he can’t tear his gaze away from Buck, because Buck will always be the most important person in the room.
Eddie often finds himself staring at Buck. When he enters a room, he always looks to see if Buck is there. When Buck is talking, his voice is all Eddie can hear. And when Buck smiles, truly smiles, in a way that reaches his eyes and shows off his dimples and makes the whole world brighter, like he is right now? Oh man, Eddie is a goner.
He hears Ana whisper something to him, feels the hot breath on his ear, but he ignores it, annoyed that she’s trying to take his attention away from Buck. Because anyone who would rather do anything than look at Buck when he smiles like that is an idiot, and Eddie is a lot of things, but he is not stupid.
Eddie is a soldier and a survivor. Eddie is a firefighter, a boyfriend and a father. Eddie has lived his entire life knowing what he is to other people, and a realization settles on him - comfortable and welcome, like the feeling of coming home after you’ve been away for a long time. Eddie knows himself well, knows the roles he plays, who and what he is. So how could he not know until right now? Watching Buck take a bow as his face sparkles brilliantly under the lights - how could he not know until right now that he, Eddie Diaz, is in love with Buck Buckley?