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“The end of an era,” Lisa says, her eyes on the road. Despite the early hour, she seems strangely awake. The dashboard of the car indicates 5:47am. “We’ll miss you.” Outside the sky is still dark, Lisa’s car being the only disturbance in the unwavering night.
Cyno hugs his bag against his chest and tries not to doze off. He’ll have all the time in the world to sleep once on the train. He listens to Lisa humming along to the song on the radio, and keeps his eyes on the road signs reflecting the flare of the headlights.
The parking of the train station is nearly empty at this hour. Lisa parks on one of the spots closest to the door. She helps him take his two suitcases out of the trunk.
“I still can’t understand why you’d rather sit in the train for nearly nine hours instead of taking the plane. It’s not that much more expensive, you know.”
“I don’t mind how long it takes, plus the train is better for the planet.” Lisa rolls her eyes. “There are people who would agree with me.”
In the train station, lethargy hangs in the air like clouds overhead. A few people, just like Cyno, are waiting in the hall with their luggage by their side. Bored security agents walk around with their bright jackets on their back. Employees get ready to open their shops.
“Sumeru City, gate M,” Lisa points to the notice board when Cyno’s train finally appears. “Off you go. Don’t forget to text me when you arrive at your friend’s.” She walks with him to the gate, helping him drag his luggage to the train.
“Take care, alright?”
“Of course. Thank you Lisa.” She ruffles his hair before letting him go.
Quiet reigns on the train as well, most of the seats are still empty. Cyno finds his not far from the entrance. A window seat, thankfully. He removes his coat and places his bag under his seat, then heads straight to the train bathroom. Better use it now rather than later. In a few stops, that small bathroom with barely enough space to move around will be filled to the brim with dirty toilet paper and other things that Cyno would rather not think about.
The seat next to his is still empty when the train starts. Cyno doesn’t feel like sleeping yet, instead he gazes out the window, watches the sceneries of Mondstadt's capital slowly fade away.
It’s strange to think he probably won’t be coming back. Not in a while at least. He’s promised his friends to come and visit them of course, but other than that there is nothing left for him in Mondstadt. His degree in hand, there is no reason for him to stay.
The end of an era, the start of another. A train ride to his new life. Cyno counts down the stops until he arrives. Eight of them in total. First Springvale’s railway station, a couple stops in Liyue, then finally Gandharva and Sumeru City.
Only a handful of people get on in Springvale, quietly placing their luggage in the overhead rack. The sun is awaking outside, dying the sky blue and pink. The eeriness of the early hour slowly erodes with the arrival of day.
It’s on their first stop in Liyue that someone approaches the seat next to him. Cyno tracks their silhouette from the corner of his eyes. “Hello,” the person says. Cyno turns his head away from the window to reply.
Halfway through though, he stops. Al Haitham does too.
Distantly, a whistle announces the imminent departure of the train.
**
One day, during his first semester of studying in Mondstadt’s Barbatos University, Cyno had followed Albedo on a hike into the mountains of Dragonspine. Perhaps it was their mistake, to travel deep into the woods, away from the beaten tracks. One second they were admiring a great beech tree, the next they were running as fast as they could because Albedo spotted a wolf gazing towards them from one of the nearby cliffs.
Ever since then, Cyno has found he can’t go out in large expenses of nature without anxiety creeping up on him, the possible presence of wolves keeping him on his guard. He feels the same way now, sitting next to his old friend Al Haitham. Sitting next to a wolf.
Al Haitham doesn’t say anything. Unmoving and unnerving. Cyno watches his reflection on the train’s window. It’s been so long and yet he somehow hasn’t changed at all. Still the same posture and lovely bump on his nose, that one mole next to his mouth, the gold chain with the jade pendant around his neck.
They don’t speak at all. No ‘it’s been a while’ nor ‘omg what a coincidence’, nothing. At some point, Cyno gets bored of staring at him and focuses on the winding country road outside. It all blurs eventually; the view from the window, the dim sound of people talking, Al Haitham next to him. Cyno can feel the evasive threads of sleep at the grasp of his fingers. A little more, just a little more. The rumble of the train lulls him to an awaited rest. A peculiar lullaby.
Al Haitham breaks it. “You grew out your hair,” he says out of nowhere, shocking the sleep out of Cyno. “It looks good.”
The tiredness must be getting to him. Cyno finds himself laughing at that, a chuckle escaping through his throat. He ignores the odd flip of his heart.
Al Haitham frowns slightly. “What is it?”
“That’s the first thing you say to me after years of no contact. Isn’t that a little funny?”
“I guess so.”
Then he finally removes his coat, folds it on his legs, and takes out a book from his bag. Just like that, Cyno is taken back to two years and a half ago. Al Haitham sitting next to him back then as well, during the many lectures they had together. Always with a book with him, even during class.
Except Cyno can tell he’s just pretending to read right now. Al Haitham hasn’t turned a page in a while, and Cyno knows he is the opposite of a slow reader.
Staring at nothing in particular except the back of the seat in front of him, Al Haitham says, “Have you been well, Cyno?”
“I have,” Cyno replies sincerely. He has noticed the tense set of Al Haitham’s shoulders, the stiffness of his jaw. “Were you in Liyue for a long time?”
“Just a short trip. There was a book fair I wanted to check out and I had a few days off,” Al Haitham drops the pretences and finally closes his volume of The Joy Luck Club. He sets it on his lap. “How about you, what have you been up to? It’s like you disappeared after our last exam, you didn’t even come to the graduation party.”
“I’m surprised you know that. But yeah, I got sick so I had to pass. I never expected you to go though. I did come to Kaveh’s drinking party a few days later. He told me you got accepted into that political science master degree you wanted. How is that going?”
The train passes next to a stretch of Liyue’s sea. A great extent of water, big and blue. It glistens under the high sun.
“I dropped out during the first semester,” he responds, his voice blank.
“Ah,” is all Cyno manages to reply to such unexpected news.
“It was simply a shitty period of my life. Turns out the course was filled with rich kids salivating at the prospect of power for self-serving reasons. Then grandma passed away and everything eventually seemed so very worthless. I inherited the ownership of her library café so I figured I should just work there. I’ve been doing that ever since.”
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.”
In the end, they always circle back to silence. Cyno doesn’t know what he can say. He eventually grows tired of staring at his palms on his lap. Next to him, Al Haitham has retreated behind his book, really reading him this time.
Cyno closes his eyes, not knowing what to do with it all.
**
He awakes to the sound of children arguing. By afternoon, the train has become busier, filling up with noises and people. Cyno accepts he won’t be getting any more sleep when he notices a lady with a Mickey Mouse bag screaming at her phone a few rows away from him.
Sitting back straight he feels a coat that is not his falling from his lap.
It’s hard to keep the notion of time after spending so many hours in one place. Disoriented, Cyno takes a second to blink sleep away. He feels like his head is filled with cotton. His grumbling stomach reminds him that he still hasn’t eaten.
His eyes fall on Al Haitham’s watching him. Cyno almost forgot he was here.
“Need me to let you through?”
He shakes his head then yawns. Al Haitham just looks at him. Cyno remembers what he was about to do and gets his lunch out of his bag.
“You didn’t tell me about you, Cyno. What have you been doing during those past two years?”
“Well, I moved to study in Mondstadt.” He says in between bites. His sandwich, made last night with whatever he could find in Lisa’s cupboards, is both dry and tasteless. “And now I’m done so I’m returning to Sumeru. I got a teaching assistant job in the uni’s Criminal Law department. I’ll be working while getting my PhD.”
“That’s amazing, congratulations,” Al Haitham says, his head resting on his hand.
“And you, tell me more. What is it like running a café?”
“It’s awful,” he says with a small smile. “Morning shifts are fine but it gets way too noisy in the afternoon. If I’m honest I would’ve sold off that place a long time ago weren’t it for the books. It’s been even noisier since Kaveh started working there part time. I hired him as a favour but that may have been a mistake. It’s like he doesn’t know the difference between soy milk and almond milk. And don’t get me started on his inability to properly set a table.”
“Sounds like you’re having fun,” Cyno replies, something strange stirring in his ribcage. He’s missed this, talking to Al Haitham like that, listening to him complain, watching his rare smiles.
And so they talk, they talk. They have the time. Until the train stops, until they have to stand up and leave their seats, they talk.
**
When mountains and sea give way to flush forests and marshes, Cyno knows they’ve finally reached Sumeru. He texts Tighnari to tell him he’ll be there soon. All he receives is a thumbs up emoji in response.
It’s not long before they start catching sight of Gandharva’s train station.
“That’s my stop,” Cyno says, getting ready to stand up. His knees crack after hours without moving.
“You’re not getting off at Sumeru City?” Al Haitham replies, some urgency in his voice.
Cyno puts his jacket on and retrieves his bag from under his seat. Al Haitham doesn’t move, he simply stares at him.
“I have to go get my suitcases, let me pass.”
He does finally stand, moving to the side while Cyno walks away. But instead of going back to sit, he follows him to the luggage area, his coat in hand and balancing his bag on one shoulder.
“Cyno.” Al Haitham grabs hold of one of his big suitcases, apparently unwilling to let him leave. Next to them, the doors of the train open and people skirt around them to get off. Cyno wonders how ridiculous it would be for him to miss his stop.
“It was nice to see you Al Haitham. Take care,” he hurriedly says. Once again, he fails at properly saying goodbye. It pains him a little, but he doesn’t have a choice. Any moment now, the doors are going to close, the whistle is going to blow.
Al Haitham seems to sense his worry, because next second he’s off the train, Cyno’s things with him.
“What on Teyvat are you doing? This isn’t your stop!” Cyno quickly hops off after him.
The whistle blows one last time. Just like that, the train leaves.
“You’re right Cyno, it was strange for me to go to the graduation party. I would have never gone if I didn’t expect you to be there. I realised it was my last chance to tell you how I felt, how I still feel. But I was already too late. It was foolish of me to wait so long.” Something in Cyno’s chest lurches, something dangerous. “I’m not making that mistake twice.”
He looks determined enough for Cyno to falter.
“Cyno, let’s not wait two more years to see each other again.”
He doesn’t let go of the suitcase. He stays, a challenge in his eyes.
“You’re as impossible as ever,” Cyno sighs, passing his fingers through his hair. He then grabs Al Haitham’s hand that is not holding the handle of the suitcase and drags him forward, leading the way. “Tighnari is picking me up, help me carry my things to the parking lot.”
Al Haitham follows him without complaint, tightening the hold of their hands.