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It was a fairly calm day at the watchtower. Just stretch the meaning of calm. No one was actively bleeding out, there was no current world ending event. So, yes, it’s a calm day. There was however a yelling match taking place in the common area.
“No! I’m telling you he has the best ass I have ever seen!” Green Arrow is standing in front of a group of heroes. In his hands, he is holding a magazine that he is waving around. Dinah is sitting on the edge of the couch, her chin resting on her hand. She rolls her eyes. Lazily, she tracks her eyes from Green Arrow to Green Lantern- Hal Jordan- who is also standing in the front of the group.
Lantern rips the magazine out of Arrow’s hand. He holds the magazine directly in front of Arrow’s face. “Look at this photo! You can’t say that this man has the best ass you have ever seen!” Lantern waves the Magazine. “Oliver Queen’s ass is mediocre.”
Oliver gasps, acting as though he is clutching his pearls.
Taking a step back, Lantern rolls his eyes, he starts flipping through the magazine. He stops on a page and turns it around to show the group. “If you want to talk about a fine ass, you need to talk about Brucie Wayne.”
Dinah snorts from her spot on the couch.
“Do you think someone else has a better ass?” Lantern rolls his eyes. He thumbs at Arrow, “You don’t agree with this bozo do you?”
Dinah reaches out a hand and waves her fingers to motion to have Lantern toss her the magazine. Lantern throws the magazine and Dinah catches it with ease.
Dinah clicks her tongue and clacks her finger to the picture that Hal had the page open on. Dinah shrugs her shoulders. “Sure, Brucie's ass is nice, but look at who he is with in this picture.” Dinah smiles. “Selina Kyle. Now that is perfect.”
Shayera is next to Dinah and leans over, nodding in agreement. Dinah smirks at Shayera. Now, Dinah might have been a little bit of a bias about the butt arguments, seeing as through the years Dinah has seen all three bottoms up close. Not that everyone else would know that.
There is a gust of wind that ruffles Dinah’s hair as Barry flashes up behind her. He leans over Dinah’s shoulder. “I mean, both of them have really nice, um, butts, I guess. But why are we arguing about the way people look? Isn't that kind of objectifying ? I think Iris would kill me if she knew about this conversation.” Barry turns his head and cocks an eyebrow at Dinah and asks very seriously, “Also, are you bi?”
Dinah glares at Barry. “I want to say bye to this conversation. I should have gone with the big three on their mission”
Shayera lifts her hand and gives Dinah a crisp high five without Dinah even giving her a glance.
“Also, Barry,” Dinah starts, “I completely agree with objectifying people being wrong.” She gestures at herself. “I understand that a lot more than most. However, for celebrities, this is kind of given territory. I’ve gone to some of these galas before for undercover ops and such, they know exactly what they’re doing and find some humor in it.”
Arrow walks over and pulls the magazine out of Canary’s hand. “Really BC, you are saying that you have seen some of these people up close.” Arrow closes the magazine and hits it with the back of his hand. He gives Canary a knowing look. “And you still don’t think that Oliver Queen has the nicest ass.”
Canary leans forward and looks at the photo. She hums, “Well, I run in the same circles at Queen once or twice. I do live in Star City, but” She clicks her tongue, “I'm just not sure it’s that nice of a butt.”
“I agree with Jordan,” J’onn chimes in from his chair on the side of the room. “There is something rather nice about the way that Bruce Wayne looks.”
“See!” Hal points at J’onn, “Even aliens understand that Bruce Wayne is hot.”
Arrow groans, “Will you please stop calling Brucie Wayne hot?”
Dinah presses her lips together trying to keep her laughter in. She swallows down her laughter and asks with a smirk, “Why Arrow, do you have a personal connection to Brucie that we don’t know about?”
Oliver gapes and freezes for a moment. “No. No. Nope, I don’t know Brucie. I just think that Oliver Queen is hotter. Okay? I’m defending my man.” Oliver continues without even thinking, “I mean the amount of times that I have seen this ass unfiltered, up close. Come on, there's no competition.”
The room goes silent for a few moments as all of the heroes in the room stare at Arrow with confusion in their eyes. Oliver looks at them back and watches as Dinah pinches her nose. Finally the words catch up to him. He opens and closes his mouth.
Arrow clears his throat, handing the magazine to Dinah as he walks past, “You’re right, BC. Um, Selina is the best looking.” Oliver hurries to the doorway. “I have to go catch a bad guy or something.”
Everyone’s eyes follow Oliver as he leaves the room.
“Holy shit,” Hal says, “Is Green Arrow dating Oliver Queen?”
—
Bruce walks into his bedroom and looks over at Oliver who is laying in their bed. Bruce smirks.
“I heard you were dating Oliver queen? Bruce walks over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of silk pajamas. He strips out of his undershirt and sweatpants. Bruce pulls on his pajamas and starts buttoning the shirt. “When were you going to tell me?”
Oliver groans. He presses his hands into his eyes. “Shut up. I just wanted someone to agree that I have the best ass, besides I couldn’t say you.”
Bruce presses his lips together, moving towards the bed. He nods his head seriously. “Obviously,” he deadpans. He leans down and presses a kiss to Oliver’s lips. Oliver places a hand on Bruce's chest. He pushes Bruce away gently.
“As much as I love your kisses, go brush your teeth.”
Bruce straightens and walks towards the bathroom. “Ah, you love my kisses, but not my body. I see how it is.” Bruce looks over his shoulder at Oliver, whose eyes are following Bruce. “You better not be checking me out.”
Oliver laughs, “You wish I would check you out!”
Rolling his eyes, Bruce walks into the bathroom. Oliver picks a magazine up from the nightstand, no not the magazine he was arguing about earlier. After two minutes, Bruce comes back to the bed. He pulls the covers back and sits down next to Oliver. He puts a hand in Oliver’s hand and starts to run his fingers through it.
“I was quite amused when Dinah messaged me earlier.” Oliver rolls his eyes, pointedly not looking away from the magazine. “I also love the fact that in the end, you agreed that Selina was the hottest one in the magazine, still over me.” Bruce fake gasps, “Truly, I was stunned. The love of my life betrays me like that. Would rather say one of my best friends is hotter than me.”
Bruce leans forward and presses a kiss into Oliver’s neck. Bruce pulls away, his hot breath spreading goosebumps across Oliver’s skin. “Do you think Selina would give you a better time than me?”
Oliver tilts his head, exposing more of his neck. He drops the magazine into his lap, reaching a hand up, placing it in Bruce’s hair. Oliver chuckles lightly, “No, I don’t think Selina could give me a better time than you.” Oliver turns his head and kisses Bruce’s forehead. “I thought that Green Arrow was supposed to have zero ties to Bruce Wayne? So I couldn’t pick you, even though everyone knows that you look like a Greek god come to life.”
Bruce laughs, his head shaking against Oliver’s shoulder. “No, you’re right. You can’t pick Bruce Wayne as Green Arrow.” Bruce lifts his head and looks intensely into Oliver’s eyes. He places his hands on both sides of Oliver’s face. “You should know though, Dinah already messaged Selina what you said.”
Oliver’s eyes widened. He whines, “No. She’s gonna hurt me or worse, mock me.”
Bruce hums, “Yes, most definitely.”
Bruce smiles like the bastard he is before he places a quick his on Oliver’s nose. He drops his hands, rolls over, turning off the lamp and laying down.
“Night, love.”
Oliver sighs, pulling the string on his lamp. “Yeah, yeah. Good night, love you too,” Oliver grumbles as he slides down the bed, “You’re a bastard.”