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Beomgyu silently opened his eyes, lightly groaning as he rubbed his eyes with his hand.
He sighed silently, staring at his ceiling for a minute. Then, he stood up in his bed with a nonchalant expression on his face. If any of the boys were with him, their hearts would probably simultaneously flutter.
He looked at his phone, quickly realizing he slept through breakfast and he was probably home alone. It had been a couple of weeks since he had received his smartphone from the other boys; when Beomgyu told them all that he had never touched a smartphone in his life one night at the dinner table casually, they immediately looked up how much the latest Apple smartphone cost and collectively decided to give it to him as a present for being ‘the most amazing hybrid in the world’ (Beomgyu was highly skeptical of that title–– and the fact he got an iPhone as a present for that seemed strange to him too, but he chose to let it go, not wanting to argue with any one of them about it). Beomgyu quickly learned how to use it properly, yet his curiosity of how it worked was almost never satiated–– ultimately he decided to just be happy that he was blessed enough to receive one and not question how it worked at all.
He didn’t bother changing out of his pajamas, mind still fuzzy from sleep and frankly just wanting food in his stomach. He walked out of his room silently, scrolling through his phone as he walked downstairs and beelined straight for the kitchen. One placemat was still on the kitchen table, with a small plate of kimchi, a plate of jeon, a bowl of multigrain rice, and two fried eggs. Beomgyu silently smiled, setting his phone face down on the table and going to heat up the dishes in the microwave. Once they were done heating up, he set them back down on the table with a silent smile on his face, sitting down in his chair and immediately eating. He stamped his legs under the table with a warm smile on his face as he bounced his head back and forth. Nothing beats his Soobin-hyung’s cooking.
Once he finished his breakfast (lunch? brunch?) he brushed his teeth and changed into comfortable clothes. He went to Taehyun’s office at the end of the hall in their downstairs area, his designated cat-nap spot. The weather had been starting to heat up lately, it was the beginning of July and almost the five-month-anniversary of Beomgyu coming home to them. Taehyun had a window in his office where the sunlight would shine through and onto the couch on the back wall of the room; Beomgyu liked taking naps there the most because the sun would shine on his face and the smell of the books on the bookcase would relax him. Beomgyu laid his head on the pillow on the couch with a silent smile on his face, body immediately relaxing as his eyes closed. He stared at the framed picture of his four best friends hanging on the wall silently before fully drifting back off into sleep.
While sleeping, Beomgyu dreamed. He dreamed a dream of the four boys who loved him more than life itself. He dreamed of all of the firsts they gave him. He dreamed of their love around the hybrid. He dreamed of the life he started to love because of the four boys. He simply dreamed.
- Unconditional love and acceptance
- Warm food made with love
- Clothes that fit Beomgyu
- Time and space
- His own bed
- His phone
These were the six most important things the boys had ever given Beomgyu. Crazy to think about, right? He’s barely done anything for them yet they’ve already given him the whole world it seems.
He looks at his surroundings; it appears he’s in a black space that is never ending yet so full. He looks down at the paper list in his hands, before silently looking back up again. He sees Kai holding a box behind his back with an excited smile on his face as he nods to the other boys. They look just as excited as Kai, as a confused Beomgyu sits on the couch and tilts his head, silently inquiring as to why they’re so excited.
“Surprise, Beomgyu-hyung! We all pitched in and got you the newest iPhone! We already set it up and added all of our numbers!” Kai held the box out in front of the hybrid, Beomgyu’s eyes going wide as his mouth dropped into a shocked expression.
He stared at all of the boys with wide smiles on their faces, tears welling up in his eyes in response. He silently shook his head as he stood up, quickly becoming distraught.
“N–No…I––I can’t. I can’t accept something like this, it must’ve been so expensive! Why did you waste all of your money on this for me? It must’ve been a lot…”
Beomgyu felt more tears invade his eyes as he uncomfortably rubbed his hands together. Each boy smiled silently, they were all quickly learning how Beomgyu’s humility could be a double-edged sword if played correctly.
“Just think of it as a gift for being the most amazing hybrid in the world, hyung. You wouldn’t reject a gift, right?” Taehyun tilted his head, the softest expression on his face as he looked at the hybrid. Kai pushed the box closer to Beomgyu’s hands afterward, forcing him to accept it before he argued any more.
Beomgyu silently looked at the box in his hands before looking at the four boys once more. He felt more tears well up in his eyes as his mouth silently trembled, opening his arms and wrapping them around all four of them, softly thanking them as they gathered into the group hug.
‘Phone’
A disembodied voice speaks to Beomgyu, making him look confusedly around. When he didn’t find anything else, he silently shook his head and looked back at the scene. Beomgyu smiled silently, remembering the moment fondly. He looked back down to the list silently, looking at the next item on the list.
“Okay…Soobin-hyung asked me to get some sheets for your bed and any furniture you might want. I’m pretty sure there’s a furniture store around here somewhere, so let’s look for it.”
“I––I get my own bed?”
Kai’s eyebrows furrowed silently before he nodded.
“Of course you do. Um…you have your own room. You know that, right?”
Beomgyu had never had his own room before, much less his own bed. Most nights, he’d fall asleep in his father’s after he had his way with him and by some miracle of God not get beaten by him. He’d pound it into Beomgyu’s head that he should be thankful he let him sleep there, but he could never call that bed his own; because his father owned everything in their house. Other nights, he’d sleep on the cold living room floor. Sometimes he’d fall asleep in the shower if his father wasn’t home. Beomgyu never had the luxury of calling something his own. Especially not a bed. His father made sure of that. Yet now, Beomgyu did have the pleasure of calling something his own. His own bed. His own room. Beomgyu was sure these four boys were angels sent from Heaven.
‘Bed’
The disembodied voice speaks again. Beomgyu feels like its somewhat familiar.
Beomgyu was in the best mental state he felt he could be after he met the boys. Of course, there were parts of him that were still delicate; like fragile glass waiting to break if so much as one person acknowledged it. And, of course, one of the boys did acknowledge it one day. And Beomgyu didn’t know if he was ready to confront it; to touch and embrace that delicate piece of glass in his heart.
“How…how about a judge? What…if you told a judge what he did to you?”
“Like…go to court and tell a judge? Like…going outside? That outside?”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Beomgyu-hyung. I know you had a bad experience with Yeonjun-hyung. You don’t have to do it, I just thought––”
Beomgyu beelined straight for the stairs, not bothering to look back.
Beomgyu crouched down to the ground, back to the door as his body slightly shakes. He hugs his knees to his chest.
Silence.
Then a soft knock on the door.
“Beomgyu-hyung? It’s Taehyun. Listen…I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to upset you. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m not going to force you.”
It was strange to Beomgyu how these four boys apologized so easily for their actions if Beomgyu seemed even a little bit upset with it. He thought humans had a hard time apologizing when they did something wrong. His brother always had a tough time apologizing to Beomgyu if he did something harmful to Beomgyu. He never did end up apologizing to Beomgyu in their lives ever, but Beomgyu heard him talking with his friend on the phone one day when he was bringing dinner up to the boy’s room.
“I accidentally…pushed him down the stairs earlier. I wasn’t even thinking, I just shoved my shoulder against his and sent him tumbling. He…banged his head on the wall, but he got up quickly after. I…I don’t know if I should apologize or not. I mean, it wasn’t worse than what my father does…but that doesn’t mean it’s good.”
Beomgyu’s eyes widened silently as he listened to the conversation behind the door, hands tightly clutching the tray of food for his brother. He didn’t think his brother gave him a second thought most of the time. Beomgyu worked up his courage, slightly biting his lip before knocking on the door.
“Yah, I gotta go. Call you back later.”
And with that the phone call was hung up and his brother was pacing closer to the door. The door silently opens, his brother looking at Beomgyu with a serious expression on his face.
“What?” His voice becomes hard, matching the expression on his face.
“I have dinner for you, Seungyu-hyung. Here.” He slightly shoves the tray of food towards the door, slight pout in his expression.
“Just leave it on the floor next time. Don’t bother me, I’m busy.” Seungyu forcibly takes the plate from Beomgyu’s hold and the hybrid flinches before nodding silently.
“I’ll remember next time––”
The door is shut before Beomgyu can finish his sentence.
Beomgyu would catch how his brother would sometimes look at him guiltily after their father had beaten Beomgyu, but he would never say anything and instead just silently head out of the house doing lord knows what. He sensed his brother always pitied Beomgyu to a degree, especially after he had found Beomgyu trying to take his own life when they were eleven years old. Beomgyu tried a couple of more times after that as well, but it either didn’t work or his brother caught him before some real damage was done.
Beomgyu thought these four humans were strange to some degree. Not only had they been the first people in his life to ever apologize to him, but the apologies were for things they weren’t even responsible for or things that didn’t even matter.
“I’m sorry about my weird response.” Kai showed Beomgyu a slightly guilty smile. [The response wasn’t even that weird though.]
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“I’m sorry, Beomgyu-ah. I’m so sorry.” More tears fell from Soobin’s eyes as he held Beomgyu’s hand against his face. [Why, though? For Beomgyu falling sick?]
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“I’m sorry, Beomgyu-hyung. I’m so sorry.” Taehyun whispered against Beomgyu’s back, right into the older boy’s ears. [Because his father tortured him for years on end? Why should Taehyun apologize for something he wasn’t even responsible for?]
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“I’m sorry, Gyu. I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you for something like this. I’m mad at your dad. He deserves to rot in the ground. I could never be mad at you, Gyu. Never in my life.” Yeonjun held Beomgyu’s cheeks, wiping his tears with his thumbs as they fell on his cheek. [And now Yeonjun was apologizing for mis-speaking in front of Beomgyu? This felt weird.]
These four boys loved Beomgyu so powerfully, so deeply. Beomgyu felt the way they were gently removing the pieces of glass in his heart one day at a time.
‘Time and Space’
Beomgyu feels like the disembodied voice is familiar; but how? He felt a sort of peace cover his heart, it was a woman’s voice. But not the voice of a woman he recognized by face; it clearly wasn’t Dahyun’s or Chaeyoung’s. It was warm, delicate, and silky. It belonged to a soothing presence Beomgyu had felt before in a certain time. Someone really important to him. Someone from a long time ago.
Beomgyu looked at the piece of paper once more, a serious expression on his face as his impatient nature wished to find the voice in his memories.
🩵
The shirt held a cat and some words in English on it as a graphic design, but it wrapped around his tiny waist nicely. For the first time in his life, Beomgyu wore a shirt that fit him perfectly.
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“Beomgyu, do you want to try on some clothes I made? There’s not really much to do here, but that is something you could do.” Yeonjun spoke with a sort of warmness in his tone, one that made Beomgyu not want to think about anything.
“Sure,” Beomgyu said nonchalantly, mind still gushing over the warmness in Yeonjun’s tone.
“Great! You can try these three first. I have ten in total so this might take a while. There’s a changing room behind my office, here, I’ll show you.” Yeonjun led him out of his office, three outfits on hangers in his arm.
Clothes were important to Beomgyu. He saw how his brother got new clothes whenever he asked their father; he overheard him one day on the phone when he said he wanted to be a model so he figured that’s what drove his interest in new clothes. He was jealous his brother could so easily receive clothes from their father while Beomgyu was basically just wearing scraps from his brother’s leftover clothes. He wanted new clothes every time he asked someone. He wanted to be doted upon.
Then, he got all of that. The day after his twenty-second birthday. He was instantly doted upon by these four boys who suddenly joined his life. Who immediately gave him the love and affection he longed for without another word. He even got new clothes! He got everything he could wish for when these boys joined his life.
‘Clothes’
Beomgyu could feel he was getting close to solving the mystery of the disembodied voice. He needed to go through a few more memories before he could get his answer though.
🩵
When he arrived at his desk, he carefully sat in the chair accompanying it before looking into the bowl. A chicken leg was soaking in broth, along with various vegetables.
A note accompanied the meal on the side of the table.
‘Try and eat when you wake up, okay Beomgyu-hyung? Luv u <3 feel better soon 😄 -Hyuka’
He smiled at the younger boy’s thoughtfulness silently.
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They all sat around their dining table silently, gazing at the bowls in front of them and then turning to Beomgyu at the foot of the table. Beomgyu looked at them, then back at his bowl before picking the spoon up. He slightly gulped, grabbing a spoonful of rice and a piece of chicken before opening his mouth. He looked up from his plate with wide eyes, ears popping up as his cheeks flushing pink as his lips curled into a tiny smile.
“It’s good…”
‘Warm food made with love’
This was it. One more item on the list before Beomgyu figured out who the disembodied voice was. His body ached to know. He ached to know.
🩵
Yeonjun slightly smiled, pulling Beomgyu back onto the bed and in the middle of him and Soobin as he watched the hybrid lightly squirm in his hold. Soobin wrapped his arms around Beomgyu as well, there was no way he was missing a chance to cuddle with the younger. Beomgyu’s heart settled quickly, relaxing in his hyung’s hold and hand joining Yeonjun’s on his chest, lightly holding the tips of his fingers.
Yeonjun carefully pat Beomgyu’s bangs, fondly looking at the sleeping hybrid. Yeonjun’s heart settled as he smiled warmly, Beomgyu was safe in their arms, and even if they would hurt each other in the future, everything would be okay as long as Beomgyu stayed by their side.
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Hope you have a good day with Yeonjun-hyung, Beomgyu! I’m so proud of you for taking this step forward. See you when you get back tonight ;) luv, Soobin <3
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He took in Kai’s scent automatically, the boy slightly groaning before wrapping his arms around Beomgyu. Kai patted his back, worriedly looking at Taehyun already fully awake, sitting up in their bed with a worried expression on his face.
🩵
Beomgyu smiled silently, warmth spreading through his chest as he watched the scene unfold before him. How lucky he was to find such accepting and soothing love in these four boys in his life. A soothing melody is heard from behind Beomgyu, making him turn around as his eyes sparkled.
It was the voice. The woman’s voice he had never placed despite hearing it multiple times through his life. He was so close to finding it. He could feel it in the ache in his bones, in the increasing beating of his heart.
A vision of a hybrid woman rocking a baby back and forth in her arms is created in front of Beomgyu. She has the warmest smile on her face; one that reminds him of his Soobin-hyung. She has the most delicate love conveyed in her eyes; just like his Yeonjun-hyung. The sweetest blush of her cheeks; exactly like Kai’s when he gets embarrassed. And the curl of her blue eyes reminds Beomgyu of Taehyun when he smiles. The lullaby she sings is one Soobin has sung to Beomgyu before, when he fell sick and once when he had trouble falling asleep after one of his nightmares. It must’ve been a popular song. No wonder he felt so moved by it.
He finally realizes. The woman stands up, walking closer to the hybrid. Beomgyu’s eyes silently flood with tears.
She stands in front of him with the most genuine smile on her face. She lifts her hand to his cheek, the hybrid grabbing it as his face twists along with his heart.
“I have to go now, okay?”
Her voice is just as angelic as Beomgyu would’ve imagined.
He shakes his head, closing his eyes. He moves her hand off his cheek and grasps it with both of his hands.
“No, not yet. Don’t leave me again.”
Her smile flickers just a little bit, blue eyes invading with tears.
“But you have everything you need now. You don’t need me anymore.”
She shakes her head, before looking to the left of Beomgyu. He looks to his left as well, flinching as his grasp on her hand loosens a little bit.
There stand the four boys with wide smiles on their faces.
“Come on, Beomgyu! We’re going to get tteokbokki for dinner!” Yeonjun waved with that trademark excited smile of his.
Beomgyu’s eyes sparkle as he fully turns toward the group, stopping himself as he looks back at the woman. His face slightly twists, tears falling from his eyes. She smiles silently once more, moving her hand back onto his cheek. He opens his mouth to speak before she stops him, kissing his cheek.
“Don’t say anything, it’s okay. Beomgyu, I’m so proud of you. And the person you’ve grown into. You deserve the happiness these boys have given you. I love you. More than you could ever imagine. And I always will, even if you can’t see me. I’ll always be right here.”
She points to his heart, the hybrid boy crying steadily at this point.
“Now, go on. They’re waiting for you.”
She tilts her head over to the four boys, who are still standing there with smiles on their faces. Beomgyu looks over to them for a moment tearfully, before looking back at the woman. His eyes well with more tears as he suddenly hugs her, the woman slightly flinching in response. She smiles, hugging him back as tightly as she could muster.
“Goodbye, Beomgyu. Never forget you were the one that brought me joy.”
Beomgyu squeaks, nodding in response as more tears fall from his eyes.
The woman fades away in his arms, causing Beomgyu to kneel to the ground as he holds his arms over his chest.
Beomgyu opens his eyes, tears falling from them.
“Mom…” He whispers, a final set of tears falling from his eyes as he becomes aware of his surroundings.
“Good morning, Beomgyu-hyung. Do––oh, Beomgyu-hyung, were you crying?” Taehyun turns around from his swivel chair, the smile on his face quickly turning into a concerned expression.
Beomgyu wipes his eyes with his hand as he lifts himself up from the couch. He slightly nods as he shyly smiles, memories of his mother leftover in his heart. He looks at Taehyun who wears a slightly worried expression, squishing it as he smiles wider.
“I…I dreamt of my mother.” Beomgyu smiled warmly, still in the huddle of warmth his newfound memories provided him.
“Oh. Um…do you wanna talk about it?” Taehyun spoke softly, grabbing Beomgyu’s hand.
“She was…beautiful. Her eyes were a light blue…and she had long white hair. Her voice was beautiful. Silky and soft. She…she loved me. More than anything. I was her light. Just like she was mine.” Beomgyu felt tears in his eyes once more, a beautiful smile on his face.
Taehyun nodded silently, an understanding smile on his face.
“I––I loved her. But then…my father came. He took me away…and I never saw her again. How…how could I forget about her so easily?” Beomgyu looked at Taehyun with a slightly distraught expression, a bitter feeling spreading through his chest. Taehyun’s grip on the hybrid’s hand increased ever so slightly. He looked down to Beomgyu’s hand, trying to find the right words to say. They sit for a moment in silence.
“Sometimes…we forget the people most important to us. Not for any particular reason. Sometimes…we're too busy just trying to survive. But it’s not your fault. In fact, I’d argue that forgetting people is sometimes necessary. To make you appreciate the good moments you did have with them when you remember them.”
Taehyun spoke softly, fiddling with Beomgyu’s fingers as he wore a soft smile on his face. Beomgyu silently closes his eyes, trying to remember the memories he had with his mother before they were forcefully pulled away from him.
He remembered his mom singing the softest lullaby, lulling him into sleep as an infant.
“My sweet, precious Beomgyu. Mommy loves you so much. And I always will, no matter what.”
She kisses him warmly on the forehead, making a tickling feeling in Beomgyu’s heart.
Multiple memories of his mother flash through his mind, his heart growing warmer with each one he remembers.
He basks in the warmth of his memories silently, cherishing each one he can with the most beautiful smile on his face.
Fin