Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Tsukasa Tenma, we’re so thrilled you have you here on our show! We know you’re incredibly busy with your tour, thank you so much for your time!”

“Ah, of course,” The star laughed timidly. “I’d never want to disappoint my fans.”

A chorus of loud, shrill cheers radiated from the audience, making the young star even more bashful.

“So talented, and humble too!” The interviewer laughed. “Mr. Tenma, you’re known in showbiz for being so authentic - you never put on a show of grandeur, you let yourself just be an ordinary person. Tell us, what’s it like navigating the world of stardom with such a demure personality?”

Tsukasa Tenma just looked at the camera with a shy smile. “Well, I think the most important thing is to stay true to who you are. I’m just… being me.”

Rui’s jaw dropped along with his spoon as it clattered into his bowl of cereal, splashing milk off onto Mizuki’s breakfast table.

He stared in complete bewilderment as the interview continued, with world star Tsukasa Tenma stammering and shyly accepting compliments with a blush and turn of his head. The fans ate it up, screams and sobs of adoring audiences who loved seeing their favourite star act so sweet.

Rui wanted to scream for other reasons.

Because who was this?

There was no way that it was Tsukasa Tenma. The same “Future World Star, Pegasus Tsukasa Tenma!” who demanded the attention of every person nearby when he walked into a room, who would yell with his booming voice, uncaring of who’d find it annoying.

That was the Tsukasa Tenma that Rui knew. This person before him was a complete stranger, and it was unsettling. Like he was watching someone walk around wearing his former friend’s skin.

Once upon a time the two of them, along with Emu and Nene, were an unstoppable force of nature when it came to their shows, determined to bring smiles to the faces of everyone in their audience. They had started off as colleagues, but turned into best friends somewhere along the way.

Tsukasa especially meant the world to Rui. Not only was he tolerant of Rui’s eccentricities, but Tsukasa encouraged it. Demanded it, even. Most people would politely ask Rui to tone himself down, be more reasonable with his inventions and experiments, but Tsukasa insisted he go bigger.

“There’s no such thing as a limit when it comes to your genius, Rui! Stop holding yourself back! If we want to become the greatest stars this world has ever seen, we need to be at 100%!”

It was always the “we” that made Rui melt. Tsukasa had gone from dreams of achieving his own stardome, to insisting upon taking Rui with him.

“How could I possibly shine without my star director to show me how?!”

At the time, Rui had been hopeful. He truly did believe that Tsukasa would stay true to his word.

Until he got the letter from some big studio in America.

They had heard of their little shows in Phoenix park and scouted him out, offering him a role in a big budget movie straight out of highschool.

Tsukasa had been thrilled, but nervous. It was the first time he’d be so far from home, in a foreign country by himself.

Saki and Toya had only encouraged him, ecstatic that their older brother was on his way to making his dreams come true.

Rui tried to be happy for him, he truly did, but his selfish desire to keep their troupe together the way it was felt too strong to be ignored.

And yet he gritted his teeth and goaded Tsukasa on, telling him that the three of them would be waiting for him when he was ready to come back. And it wasn’t really goodbye, right? They still had the Sekai, which meant they could see each other in seconds.

Until the day that Rui felt a strange shift, something was changing in the Sekai. Tsukasa hadn’t been able to visit in a while, but Rui still regularly came by to spend time with the Vocaloids and build contraptions in his spare time

He remembers the day all too well. The feeling of dread when he first entered and noticed the sky was a duller blue than normal - none of the rides were operating and everything seemed so… still. 

Then he found Luka, red-rimmed eyes as she looked up at him so pitifully and said. “Rui… I haven’t been able to sleep in days… Something is wrong with Tsukasa.”

He was left with no time to investigate before the entire Sekai began falling apart, shattering into pieces until he was forced out, waking up in his workshop with a heaving chest and shaking hands as he desperately dialed Tsukasa’s number.

There was no answer. But then Rui saw the Star’s face on live TV, smiling happily. That was when Rui realised that their star had risen far beyond his reach, outgrowing them and their small theatre troupe.

Nene had been beyond furious at the lack of calls or texts from Tsukasa. She herself had started to become a rather popular singer in Japan, and yet she never stopped visiting or keeping in touch. Emu had been uncharacteristically quiet about the whole thing, hopefully suggesting that Tsukasa was just taking some time to focus on his craft, and that he’d be back soon.

That, of course, was many years ago. 

Now Rui continued to work at Phoenix park - though no longer a director, but rather an engineer for the park rides. Emu gave him full reign to design and adjust them to his heart's content, and his experience in the Sekai made him a natural.

It was fun, and it was nice to stay close to his friends, but Rui missed the magic that came with making shows, and he knew the others did too.

He told himself to let go of the boy who had meant so much to him in highschool, that Tsukasa had clearly moved on with his life and so should he.

For the most part Rui had succeeded - avoiding all news of the growing star and sticking to himself.

But this interview… Seeing Tsukasa sit on a plush couch looking so uncomfortable in his own skin…

It made Rui feel sick.

The star’s once brightly coloured sunset hair was now dyed completely blond. His bangs were no more, his hair instead was swept off to the back in a style that made him look more mature, but so unlike himself.

The light in his eyes seemed dimmer. His clothes less eccentric and attention-grabbing.

He had become the world famous and well-beloved star that he always dreamed of, but at what cost? 

At what point did it stop being about making others see your stardom, and became shaping yourself into what they wanted to see?

Pandora’s box had been opened, and Rui fell down a rabbit hole of google searching for Tsukasa Tenma, scrolling through articles and fan pages starting from the very beginning of his first breakout role.

He watched the way that Tsukasa’s personality shifted as time progressed. The more roles he received, the more his persona changed.

The worst part? People adored the change.

The number of fan pages doubled, tripled, until he was practically a household name. There were fanart and edits of him all over social media, fancams and paparazzi photos.

But he hardly looked like himself in any of them.

Rui felt like he was going to be sick.

It’d be one thing if this was Tsukasa growing up and maturing into a different person, but Rui recognised that look in Tsukasa’s eyes. The look he had when he was acting out a particularly difficult role, one that was out of his comfort zone. 

It was Rui’s job as director to be able to know his actors well - and he could tell without a doubt that Tsukasa Tenma was downright miserable.

“Woah, Rui, glare at your phone any harder and you might catch Miku’s attention,” Mizuki teased as she hopped down the stairs in her skirt. “What’s gotcha all grumpy?”

Rui just grunted out a noise as he looked back up at the interview, where Tsukasa was tucking his hair behind his ear like a sheepish schoolgirl confessing to her crush. 

He tuned back in to what they were saying and immediately regretted it.

“Ah but Tsukasa, surely a special someone has caught your eye? With all your adoring fans you certainly have your pick of the litter!”

“Haha, I don’t know about that,” Loud cooing came from the audience. “I don’t think there’s much particularly special about me.”

“Woah,” Mizuki muttered. “Is that…? There’s no way-”

“Is that Tsukasa?” Another voice - Ena, Mizuki’s fiance - piped in from behind. “Holy shit. When Akito told me he got hot I didn’t really believe him but…”

Mizuki smacked her on the arm as Rui pouted. “I think he looked better before.”

Ena sighed, patting the sour-faced inventor on the head. “I know you do, Rui.”

“Wait, does Akito by any chance keep in touch with Tsukasa?” Mizuki asked, eyes never leaving the screen. It was bizarre looking at Tsukasa, it was almost like a car crash - you couldn’t look away.

“Not really, but y’know, obviously Toya does,” Ena explained, pouring herself a bowl of cereal and shooting a glare at Rui when she realised he hardly left any behind. “Freeloader,” She muttered under her voice.

“Love you too, Ena,” Rui sighed instinctively - playing the game they usually did. He had sincerely been surprised to develop a friendship with the artist. Once they started dating Mizuki he figured he’d have to at least be cordial, though they had nothing in common, but it didn’t take long for them to bond over their mutual teasing of both Mizuki and Akito.

“So then Toya talks to Tsukasa often?” Mizuki prodded again, living for the gossip.

Ena frowned. “Well… Not really? Like, Tsukasa sends money for him and Saki all the time even when they insist for him not to, but he doesn’t have time to talk much. I’m sure the time difference doesn’t help either.”

This bothered Rui. “You mean even Saki’s been ignored by him?

“I guess so,” Ena brought her pitiful bowl of cereal over to sit by Rui, looking back up at the camera. “Akito’s pretty pissed about it, he hates seeing his boyfriend so upset.”

“Understandable, honestly,” Mizuki shrugged, plopping right down onto Ena’s lap despite her cries of protest and eating her cereal. “If my sister did something like that I’d be pissed too. But… This is weird, right? Never in a million years could I have guessed that Tsukasa would act like…” She gestured lamely at the screen. “That.”

Rui felt a sinking in his chest, that oh-so- familiar feeling of dread. There was also a tinge of bitterness, a memory floating back to the forefront of his mind.

“Never change who you are for other people, Rui!” Tsukasa had demanded, yelling out in frustration. “Who are they to decide who you are?! You’re amazing! And if they can’t see that, then they don’t deserve to see you at all.”

“He looks unhappy,” Rui managed to say softly, looking into those dulled sunset eyes, and not seeing the appeal that all of his fans seemed to see. How could they possibly prefer this over the blindly bright light Tsukasa once was?

“I’m sorry Rui,” Mizuki said sincerely. “This has gotta be hard for you to see. I know he meant a lot to you.”

Rui cringed at the past tense. “He still does.”

Ena shot him a sympathetic smile from behind Mizuki - who still sat contentedly in her lap - before speaking. “Do you think that something is wrong? Like… He’s being forced to be like this?”

“Forced?” Rui echoed, hating the harshness of the words, the implications it brought upon.

“Well, yeah. Airi is an idol so she tells me all about how controlling and soulless the business can be. I doubt it’s much different outside of Japan.”

“Sheesh, you think it’s that bad?” Mizuki asked. “I can’t imagine anyone being able to tell Tsukasa what to do. He’s too headstrong for that.”

“He was too headstrong for that,” Rui muttered sadly. 

“Mr. Tenma, right now you’re in between projects so your fans are just dying to know - what do you plan on doing during this time? I know there’s big hope for a tour-”

“Well, um, actually,” Tsukasa interjected. “I was planning on returning back to my home to visit my family. It’s been… A really long time.”

A chorus of aww’s emerged from the audience as the interviewer lit up. “Oh that’s right, your little sister is getting married!”

Tsukasa paled. “Um, how did you know-”

“Careful Mr. Tenma, I can’t imagine your fans would be happy if you were to get hitched!” The interviewer teased, a laugh track following. “You’d be breaking so many hearts.”

“N-No, nothing like that.” He quickly corrected. “I’m just going to support my sister, that’s all.”

“Geez, talk about a lack of a personal life,” Mizuki got up, taking away Ena’s now empty bowl with her. “At least with N25 we get to remain anonymous… Tsukasa’s got his entire life on display.

Ena shook out her legs that seemingly fell asleep after having her girlfriend borrow them as a chair. “Yeah. It’s why I stopped posting pictures on my other account… Some people felt like just because I put myself out there that they were entitled to me. It was scary.”

Mizuki scowled at this. “Those were creeps. I really hope it’s not the same case for Tsukasa.”

All this talk only made Rui feel worse and worse. 

“Wait wait, Saki’s wedding - that’s in a week!” Mizuki shrieked, jolting upright. “I can’t believe I completely forgot! Rui, did you R.S.V.P?”

Rui played around with his spoon in his now soggy bowl of cereal. Saki had invited him months ago, and he was still unsure on whether or not he really wanted to attend. 

He only knew Saki through Tsukasa, and otherwise would feel out of place there.

But… If Tsukasa was going to be there…

Maybe Rui would get his chance to confront him to put his own mind to rest. Rui was weak to a good mystery - his curiosity is easily his most life-ruining trait - and he needed to know what happened to Tsukasa. 

“I will,” He said gently, standing up and dumping out his remaining cereal - much to Ena’s chagrin. “It’ll probably be my only chance to speak to him again.

“Aren’t you angry at him, though?” Ena asked. “He completely abandoned you all. I don’t think I’d be able to get over that so fast.”

“I believe there is something more to this, something else is going on.” Rui said with a growing determination. “The Tsukasa I knew was unapologetically loud, and made his presence known! For him to act like this… Something big had to have occurred.”

“You’re a better person than me,” Ena muttered under her breath before Mizuki plopped down a new bowl of cereal in front of her, kissing her on the cheek. 

Rui sighed looking at their painfully sweet domestic life. It was something he once dreaded - thinking that it’d be boring and predictable - but after seeing these two together?

Now Rui was just envious. He desperately wanted someone by his side that he could trust with everything and anything, someone that could laugh and tease him while still motivating him forward.

Rui used to think that someone would be Tsukasa…

But he clearly didn’t feel the same way, and Rui could learn to be okay with that. Right now though, his romantic feelings aren't important. Right now Tsukasa needed a friend to remind him who he really is, and Rui was determined to be there for him the way that Tsukasa was for Rui.

Chapter Text

Tsukasa remembers the day all too well, landing from a long and exhausting flight with excitement rushing through his veins.

This was it, this was his moment to show the world how much he could shine! He fondly thought of the Phoenix stage and felt it bring him more confidence - he was going to be able to bring smiles to the faces of so many people!

He wanted to make everyone back home proud of him, and he couldn’t wait to see them again once he’s succeeded in becoming a star! Afterall, he only got this far thanks to them, and he’d forever be grateful for it.

It was as he was collecting his luggage that Tsukasa felt a wave of sadness crash over him. Desperately he wished that the rest of his troupe was here with him, but he knew they had their own hopes and dreams to attend to, and he wanted to support them just as much as they supported him!

Saki and Toya had also regretfully been unable to accompany Tsukasa, though they wanted to so they could at least help him settle in his new home.

Leo Need had a massive concert coming up and Vivid Bad Squad was hosting their own event so both of his siblings were busier than ever. Tsukasa just grinned and assured them that he’d be fine, and he was rooting for them from across the sea.

Once he had all of his bags with him, Tsukasa puffed his chest and proudly made his way out of the airport, eyes scanning the crowd of people waiting to pick up their family and spotting a man in a suit holding a sign with his name on it.

Beaming, Tsukasa practically skipped over. “Hello sir! I am Tsukasa Tenma-”

“Right this way.” 

Cut off so abruptly, Tsukasa just nodded dumbly, frowning at the cold response from the man as he loaded up the trunk of a dark vehicle with his bags and held open a door in the backseat for him. 

The inside of the car was freezing with how high the air conditioning was turned up, but Tsukasa figured that with how chilly the man’s demeanor was, maybe complaining wasn’t the best idea.

Still, he was buzzing with excitement, fully aware of how much he looked like a tourist by staring out his window in awe at the massive skyscrapers they sped past.

He looked into the crowds of people, imagining what kind of complex lives they each had, wondering if they’d one day see one of his performances.

Before he knew it, he had made it to the looming building where he’d be meeting his new agent. As he got out of the car, the driver rolled down the window to toss him a keycard and quickly muttered, “Your bags will be dropped off in your hotel room,” before speeding away without another word.

Tsukasa didn’t even have a chance to thank the man, but he figured he’d be seeing him again soon, so it was alright.

With a skip in his step, Tsukasa eagerly made his way inside of the lobby, smiling brightly at everyone he passed, before proudly dropping his keycard onto the front desk. The receptionist only took a glance before saying, “Floor 23.” and sending him on his way.

Everyones too busy for pleasantries, I guess.

Tsukasa refused to let that damper his mood! The elevator ride was long and only a little daunting, but nothing that the great Tsukasa Tenma couldn’t handle!

When the doors opened, he was finally greeted with a friendly face. A young  woman in a pencil skirt smiled at him warmly before extending her hand out to shake.

“Mr. Tenma! I’m Heather Gray, we spoke on the phone before, I’m thrilled to be your agent moving forward.”

Tsukasa was so grateful he had finally, finally improved his English and understood her perfectly. It took a long time to try and train his accent out of him, but earlier Heather had assured him that he’d be provided with diction lessons as a part of his contract.

“Yes! I’m excited to be here, when do we get started?”

Heather laughed, amused by his enthusiasm. As she ushered him inside to take a seat in the luxurious office, she smiled, knowing that he’d be easy to mold into the perfect star.

“If you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump right out to save itself. But if you put the frog in water and boil it slowly, it won’t know what’s going on until it’s too late.”

“Rui! That’s so morbid!” Tsukasa grimaced. “What an awful expression!”

Rui just laughed. “It’s something good to think about, don’t you think? Any of us could be the frog at any given time.”

Tsukasa scoffed. “Hardly! I’m much smarter than a frog, I’d be able to tell the water is heating up immediately!”

It started off slow, and maybe that’s why Tsukasa hadn’t noticed right away.

Heather had seemed so nice, so supportive. The role he was offered was amazing! He was playing the male lead in a romance movie between two teenagers, his costar was a sweet but shy girl, and he loved beguiling the cast and crew about his adventures back in Japan. 

The filming of the movie had been fun, though he found himself missing Rui’s direction, Nene’s teasing, and Emu’s hyperactivity. 

His contract with the acting agency was for a year, only to be renewed if the movie did well and Tsukasa was interested in continuing.

And the movie certainly did well.

It was a massive hit! Teenagers everywhere were fawning over Tsukasa, his following on social media increased faster than he could process, and before he knew it he was being asked what his next big role would be!

“Mr. Tenma, if you want to keep up this momentum you need to decide quickly,” Heather warned. “The longer you wait, the more you risk fans forgetting about you and moving on. Nothing kills a career faster than hesitation.”

Tsukasa shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Er… I understand but I really must go back home to visit my friends and siblings! It’s already been such a long time, and I haven’t been able to call them because I’ve been so busy…”

“Tsukasa,” Heather said a bit more sternly. “This is the life of a star. Sacrifices need to be made. But if you’re not serious about this…”

“No!” Tsukasa cried out. “Of course I’m serious about this! This is my dream!”

Heather sighed sympathetically. “Lots of people have big dreams, Tsukasa. Are you willing to work hard for yours?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes.” Tsukasa put as much confidence and sincerity into his words as he could, desperately hoping Heather would understand.

She smiled at him, finally calming his racing heart. Pulling out a stack of papers and placing them on the desk separating the two, Heather looked Tsukasa dead in the eyes. “This is my proposal for a much more… long term contract.”

Tsukasa felt his eyes widen at the thickness of the contract, not for the first time wishing that Rui was here to read it over for him. He was always better at analysing people than Tsukasa was.

“Don’t look so worried,” Heather laughed. “It’s standard stuff, really. Mostly to ensure your safety as a growing star.”

Tsukasa skimmed over a few pages, for the most part it made enough sense to him. Stuff about not posting on social media without having his media team look it over first, stuff about letting his security team know where he is at all times.

Still, Tsukasa felt a bit nervous. Heather, seeming to have noticed this, spoke up. “You know I’d never want to steer you wrong, right Tsukasa? Afterall, your success is my success.”

She was right, he supposed. For the past year, Heather had been the only friend Tsukasa had. She had never steered him wrong before…

With a big grin, Tsukasa nodded. “You’re right! I am ready to be a star, I’m ready to do whatever it takes!”

As his pen glided across the page, Heather just kept on smiling, assuring him he was making the right choice.

The changes started relatively small.

Tsukasa was no longer just an actor - he was a public figure, so he needed to look the part.

His entire wardrobe was redesigned, most of the clothes he had brought with him were deemed unacceptable and he had to go out and buy new ones.

Shades of black and white, maybe a few statement colours but nothing too crazy. There were a surprising amount of rules to follow when it came to fashion. There were certain brands that Tsukasa couldn’t be caught dead wearing, and certain brands he had to wear and endorse.

Still, none of this seemed particularly bad. Clothing was such a minor thing to change, Tsukasa could handle that!

Until…

“You want me to… dye my hair?” Tsukasa asked incredulously. 

Heather nodded enthusiastically. “The pink tips don’t fit your persona, they’re too eccentric.”

“I’d argue I’m eccentric.” Tsukasa mumbled, to which Heather frowned.

“That’s another thing. Your personality is a bit too… big. Fans would respond better if you toned it down.”

“Toned it down?!” Tsukasa cried out. “But this is who I am! There’s no way!”

“Tsukasa.” Heather’s voice shifted into her serious one, it always sent shivers up his spine. “People can excuse it now because you’re still a teenager, but right now your main demographic - teenage girls - prefer softer, shy boys. There’s an oversaturation in overconfident celebrities, you’d be a refreshing change.”

Tsukasa scoffed, arms crossed. There was no way-

“And I think we should change your name.”

“What?!” Tsukasa shrieked, prompting Heather to roll her eyes.

“Tsukasa Tenma is far too foreign. I think it’d be better if we marketed you with a more western name.”

“Absolutely not!” Tsukasa stood up in frustration. “That’s my name! I refuse, you can’t just-”

“Remember your contract, Tsukasa.”

The young star stared at Heather in pure shock. He knew there would be major consequences to breaching his contract, but for him to have to desperately beg just to keep his own identity? The great Tsukasa Tenma did not beg!

“I will not change my name.” He hissed out.

Heather glared at him. “Fine. Your hair appointment is in a few hours. And tomorrow I’m bringing in a coach to help you quiet down your personality.”

“But-”

“We can still change your name if that’s what you’d prefer, Tsukasa.” Heather said coldly. “I’m trying to be merciful here.”

Tsukasa seethed, fists clenched as he managed out a bitter nod. “...Fine.”

Tsukasa hated his hair, and hated his clothes, and hated the fact that he had no one to complain to about it.

His co-stars didn’t seem to have much interest in keeping in touch after their projects unless it was business related, and with his meticulously controlled schedule, there was no time to go out and make friends.

He wandered around his giant, lonely apartment. He could feel his stomach growling but he had already eaten his quota of food for the day, and Heather would be upset if he broke his diet again.

He missed eating sweets and buttery foods. Rui would be miserable if he had to participate in Tsukasa’s new mega-healthy diet. The few times he was allowed to eat had to be vegetables - never fruit, since there was too much sugar.

Tsukasa opened up his phone and swiped away the swarm of notifications he got on the regular. Most were comments from fans. Some were sweet and kind while others were a bit more… Inappropriate.

No one seemed to care that Tsukasa was still only 17. Though Heather had warned him of what was to come the second his birthday hit.

He didn’t like thinking about that.

Scrolling through the comments, his heart warmed at one in particular.

“Tsukasa!! Sending love from Canada <33 You’re such an inspiration to me! I’m really shy and I’ve always been scared that it would ruin my life, but seeing you has made me feel more comfortable the way I am!!”

The words felt foreign to him. Shy? Tsukasa? He supposed he was a lot more reserved in interviews now, but still. Either way, the message reminded him of why he wanted to be a star in the first place - to bring smiles to people’s faces!

Tsukasa wasn’t allowed to follow any of his friends or family, so on a private browser he searched up Nene’s account.

She didn’t post much, but when she did it was usually about Emu or Phoenix Wonderland. Tsukasa had been ecstatic to see that the two girls had gotten together, and as much as he wanted to send his regards, he held himself back.

He was allowed to use his phone without permission now, but he still found himself far too afraid to call home. Tsukasa wasn’t sure if he’d like to hear what they had to say.

Tsukasa thought back to the one phone call he had made to Saki and his parents, just before he dyed his hair.

“We’re so proud of you, Tsukasa. You never give up, and look at what you’ve accomplished! Keep it up, you’re doing great.”

That was all the encouragement that Tsukasa needed to suck it up and keep going. Dying his hair and changing his clothes were nothing in the grand scheme of things. And quieting down… That wasn’t so bad either, right?

Still, Tsukasa found himself suddenly wanting to reach out to someone who might understand.

He opened up his music app - something that had remained untouched since his time in America - and played his favourite song.

“Tsukasa?!” Miku’s voice was shrill and full of excitement as she barrelled into the boy, knocking him over flat on his behind. “You’re back! It’s been so long!”

Tsukasa just shrieked, pushing Miku off and dusting himself off as he stood up. A wave of panic washed over him for a moment. If his clothes got ruined here, would they get ruined in the real world? Heather would be so mad…

“Tsukasa?” It was Kaito speaking now, smiling warmly at Tsukasa in that fatherly way he always did. 

“A-Ah yes! I’m truly sorry for not visiting sooner… I’ve just been so busy.”

“We understand, Tsukasa.” Meiko ruffled up his hair, making him panic again. Would Heather be upset if it was ruffled before tonight’s photoshoot? “You’re working really hard, we’re all proud of you!”

Tsukasa smiled weakly, looking around to see that not too much has changed since he’s last been here. 

Miku grinned knowingly as she popped back in front of Tsukasa’s line of vision. “Perfect timing! Rui should be here soon, he visits all the time!”

Tsukasa’s eyes lit up. “R-Really?” He hadn’t spoken to Rui in so long. “I can’t wait to see everyone again.”

Before the star knew it, he was being ambushed by a giant group hug between the three Vocaloids, who squeezed him happily. For the first time in a while, Tsukasa didn’t feel lonely. 

But good things don’t last forever. Kaito stiffened before pulling away from the hug and patting Tsukasa’s torso down. Before the star could let out his cry of confusion, Kaito looked at him with deep sadness and spoke.

“Can we speak alone, Tsukasa?”

“...Yeah, of course!”

The other two left without another word, leaving Tsukasa in the tent with his favourite of the Vocaloids. He felt like he was in the principal's office (Something that happened often when he got into trouble with Rui.)

“Are you taking care of yourself?”

“Wh- Of course I am! Y-You know that the great Tsukasa Tenma would never…” Would never what? Tsukasa wasn’t exactly in control of his own life right now. 

“You’re too thin, Tsukasa,” Kaito said, worry dripping out his robotic voice. “Your hair and your clothes… You don’t even sound like yourself.”

Bristled, Tsukasa felt the need to defend himself. “Well of course not. I’m working with an acting coach to tone it down a bit, my agent says it’s helping a lot.”

“But that’s not who you are.”

“Says who?” Tsukasa muttered. “Look, it’s fine! This is the price of stardom.”

“Tsukasa, can you answer me one question honestly?” Kaito didn’t wait for a response. “Are you happy?”

Tsukasa’s mouth opened and closed like a fish as he tried to figure out the answer to that. “Of course I am.”

Kaito’s face darkened. “You’re lying to me, Tsukasa. Luka hasn’t been able to sleep in a while.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“She only sleeps when she knows that everyone is happy and content. This is your Sekai, so she’s intune with your emotions the most. I know something is wrong, Tsukasa. Why won’t you let us help?”

“I don’t need help,” Tsukasa seethed. “I-I’m making my family proud! I’m helping my fans across the world!”

“You’re losing yourself,” Kaito said gently. “Tsukasa… I think you need to go back home, be with your friends and family, people who truly care about you.”

Tsukasa staggered backwards. “Heather does care about me! She’d never encourage me to give up everything I’ve worked so hard for! I thought you were supposed to support me?!”

“It’s our job as Vocaloids to look out for your best interests, Tsukasa. We aren’t here to coach you into stardom, we’re here to remind you why you love to perform. We only want what’s best for you.”

Tsukasa shook his head, feeling the Sekai shift and shake around him. “No. You don’t know what’s best for me, clearly. I don’t need this kind of distraction holding me back.”

Kaito’s eyes widened in panic, but before he could say another word, Tsukasa was pressing pause on the song and returning to his cold, lonely apartment. 

He stared at the song file as it taunted him, Kaito’s words making him seethe with anger. With one passionate swipe Tsukasa deleted the song, watching as it vanished away.

It took a moment before his tantrum sunk in, and Tsukasa felt his heart pounding. The Sekai was made from his emotions alone. If he deleted it then…

What did he just do?

Chapter Text

“Tsukasa Tenma really is such a sweet boy.”

“Oh I know! I’ll admit, I thought he was a bit full of himself when he first debuted, but he’s really grown into himself since then!”

“He’s so humble, and that shyness is really endearing!”

“It’s so refreshing to see such a polite young boy being such a good role model to his fans.”

“And of course he’s so talented-”

Tsukasa felt his heart sink with each new interview Heather sent him. They had another fight over Tsukasa’s persona and she insisted he watch what people were saying about him, how much they preferred him like this.

He took a side glance into the mirror that sat to the side of his couch. He didn’t even look like himself anymore. He hated his hair - which on top of being dyed, was also trimmed to look more “elegant”.

It made him feel vulnerable, it made him feel like an imposter. 

Tsukasa realised that he was acting all the time now. He thought it’d be easier if he envisioned this new version of himself as a role he had to play, and at first it was! Until a condition of the role included insulting who he really was.

No one seemed to like Tsukasa when he was being authentic.

Apparently people would rather see a shy and insecure star, than a confident one who knew his own worth.

But admittedly, Tsukasa was having a hard time seeing his own worth now, too.

He couldn’t look at his body without being overly critical about its size and shape now. He couldn’t choose clothes out of comfort because he was too concerned over what other people would think about it. He’d open his mouth to speak only to abruptly shut it, as his brain rapid-fire tried to remember all of his social training to make sure he wasn’t “too much” again. 

Looking at what his old friends were doing only made it worse.

They all looked so happy and sure of themselves. They had changed slightly, but never strayed from who they really were. Emu was still optimistic about the world, Nene was still quiet but outspoken, and Rui proudly displayed his eccentricities without a fear in the world.

Tsukasa couldn’t remember what it was like to feel like that.

“I’m not trying to be cruel, Tsukasa.” Heather said gently. “Your fans like seeing you act more grown-up, this is really just you maturing. No one wants to see an overconfident star parading around thinking they’re better than everyone else.”

“I never thought that!” Tsukasa protested.

“That’s what it looked like, though. And perception is everything.” 

“People liked who I was before,” He said in a near-whisper. “My friends, my family…”

Heather sighed as she sat down next to Tsukasa, gently resting her hand on top of his. “And yet none of them have made the effort to come and visit you?”

Tsukasa flinched back. “That’s not fair! T-They’re just busy-”

“So are you, and yet you’ve been trying your absolute best to find time to visit them, right?”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

“I’m not saying they don’t care about you, Tsukasa. I know they’re grateful for all the money you’ve sent back. But you’re making them proud by being the star that you are, don’t throw it all away now.”

When Heather left, Tsukasa was left all alone in his apartment once again. He hated the clinically white walls and blinding fluorescent lights. 

Did… People really dislike the way he was before this much…?

Sure, Tsukasa knew he annoyed some people, but that never used to bother him before! Now his mind returned to every eye roll and annoyed comment made by Akito or Nene, the way that everyone else seemed to just humour and tolerate him.

Maybe… Maybe if he kept this up and returned to them one day, they’d be proud of him again? Maybe then they’d like him enough to try and visit him, too! 

Then he could really bring a smile to their faces. That’d make all of this worth it.

Present Day

“Tsukasa, I really think you should reconsider this.” Heather said, eyes glaring at the star as he slowly packed his suitcase. “You had interviews and events lined up! Think of all the fans you’re disappointing.”

“Y-You promised that I’d have some time for a vacation,” Tsukasa muttered. “It’s only for a few weeks, then I’ll come back and work twice as hard.”

“You’re going through an awful lot of trouble for a sister who only remembered to invite you a month before the wedding. If she really cared, wouldn’t she have given you enough time to properly prepare?”

Tsukasa winced. He admittedly was hurt that Saki seemed to have considered him as an afterthought. If he had more heads up then he wouldn’t have had to fight Heather so hard on letting him go during his busiest season of the year.

But he wouldn’t abandon his sister on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life! When he heard that Shiho proposed, Tsukasa desperately wanted to call and congratulate his little sister. But Heather’s words rang through his head, reminding him that if Saki wanted to talk to him about it, she’d call. 

He really was grateful for Heather. Without her, he’d never know how to handle these kinds of things.

So he kept working to make sure that he could send even more money back for Saki, so she could afford the fairytale wedding of her dreams. 

It was the least he could do as such a negligent older brother. 

“I’m going,” He tried to put a little more force into his words, but his words still came out shaky. “P-Please let me go.”

Heather sighed. “And you’re still refusing to let me supervise you?”

“I don’t need to be supervised,” Tsukasa insisted. “I promise I’ll stick to my diet and workouts, I won’t cause any scenes, I’ll be anonymous the entire time if I have to!”

Heather didn’t look convinced, but she relented, letting him have this. 

“If for even a second I catch wind of a scandal, I’ll be sending a cab to bring you to the airport for the soonest flight back here, do you understand?”

Tsukasa nodded, unable to meet Heather’s eyes. He was always intimidated by her when she got like this.

He knew she was unhappy with him, and he’d have to suffer the consequences when he returned after the wedding, but for now he let himself have his one act of defiance. He had been a perfect star for her the past couple of years, this was the most he had fought her in a long time.

Tsukasa didn’t like fighting with Heather. She was the only person he regularly spent time with, the only person who still seemed to care about him. He hated that he stressed her out so much.

“Good. I’ll be expecting frequent updates and proof that you’re sticking to your meal plan. Your dietitian will send you one that’s more accommodating to the… cultural food you have over there.”

With another dutiful nod, Tsukasa practically ran downstairs and into the private parking lot to get inside of the inconspicuous van that would be bringing him to the airport. The windows were tinted so that no one could see inside, but as they drove out, Tsukasa could see the flurry of dedicated fans who waited around under the hope of catching just a glimpse of the star.

Once upon a time Tsukasa would’ve definitely run out to greet them all to make sure none of them had wasted their time standing around out there all day, but that was against Heather’s rules.

He wasn’t allowed to have any unscripted interactions with fans - and truthfully he didn’t want to either.

After having everything planned out for you for so long, it’s scary to go back to having to figure it out yourself.

The flight was long and torturous, but Tsukasa took comfort in the fact that for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t under constant observation and scrutiny. No one telling him not to slouch, or reprimanding him for emoting too much. 

Still, Tsukasa found himself correcting his posture, and holding back his words when the flight attendants came around with food he wasn’t allowed to eat.

When the plane landed, Tsukasa was exhausted and groggy but plastered on his polite smile nonetheless. He pulled up his mask and threw on his shades, hoping that’d be enough of a disguise. He was escorted throughout the entire process of collecting his bags until they were about to leave the arrivals section. 

As Tsukasa made his way towards the nondescript black van that was arranged to take him to his hotel, a familiar voice startled him into freezing.

“Yo, Tenma!” 

“A-Akito…?” Tsukasa recognised the bright fiery red hair immediately, with the same dyed strand of blond he always had. 

Before Tsukasa could say much more, he was being swarmed by his escorts who tried to pull him away.

“W-Wait! I know him! He’s a friend!” 

Maybe it was a good thing Tsukasa had gotten so skinny, because he was able to slip out of their circle and towards Akito, who was frowning at the display. 

“Geez, you look… Different.” Akito was never one for mincing words when it came to Tsukasa. “I saw you dyed your hair and all but…”

“Yeah,” Tsukasa said gently. “What’re you doing at the airport?”

“Toya sent me to come pick you up.”

Tsukasa blinked. “How did he know what flight I’d be on?”

Akito snorted, rolling his eyes fondly. “He’s taking his role as best man pretty seriously. I don’t know how, but he detective-worked his way into figuring out that you’d have to be on this flight. It’s a good thing too, I woulda been pissed if I came all this way for nothing.”

Oh. Toya was the best man. Of course he was, it made perfect sense, and yet Tsukasa’s heart stung regardless.

“That’s really nice of you, Akito, but I’m supposed to stay in the hotel my agent picked out for me.” 

“Why? Saki wants you home, dude.”

Tsukasa felt his heart shatter. Saki still considered it to be Tsukasa’s home? How was he supposed to refuse his little sister?

“I…”

“Mr. Tenma, it's time to go.”

“Sorry, Akito.”

“Wh- Tsukasa you can’t be serious?”

After Akito cried that out, all hell broke loose.

“Oh my god! I knew it! That’s Tsukasa Tenma!” A shrill voice came out from a group of teenage girls who were staring awestruck. “I love you so much Tsukasa!”

With a wince, Tsukasa sent Akito an apologetic look as he was swept away by his escorts before he could be swarmed by the crowd.

As he watched Akito’s hurt expression while he drove off, Tsukasa tried to calm his breathing. Barely an hour into being back in Japan and he’s already broken one of Heather’s rules. Wonderful.

The guilt of just leaving Akito like that was also overwhelming. Akito was one of the people that hated his old personality the most, wasn’t he? Now he probably hated Tsukasa even more! Did Akito think he was stuck up and too good to drive with him? Or was he secretly grateful that he didn’t have to spend anymore time with him? He just didn’t know!

He kind of wished Heather was there to tell him.

“You don’t understand,” Akito muttered on the phone as he sat in his car. “Something is seriously wrong with Tenma. I thought the whole shy thing was just a publicity stunt but he looked like he’d cry if I spoke too loud at him.”

“Geez,” Ena responded, leaning against the kitchen wall as she watched Rui once again ravage her food supply - excluding anything healthy, of course. “I saw his latest interview and I thought it was weird but I guess I figured he’d be back to normal once he got here? I don’t know, I was never that close with him.”

“Me neither,” Akito confessed. “I was only ever with him because of Toya and I always thought he was a bit annoying but like, in a good way? I’ll murder you if you repeat this to anyone but him being annoying was his best quality, he was obnoxiously good at cheering people up.”

Ena lowered her voice so that Rui wouldn’t hear as she walked into the living room. “Yeah, that was the vibe I got too. Rui’s been… in a mood, ever since seeing that interview, though. Til’ now he’s avoided everything Tsukasa-related so it really caught him off guard.”

“Kamishiro is upset about it too?”

“Mhm. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him upset about something like this before.”

“Does he know Tsukasa is back in Japan?”

“Not yet, I was gonna tell him after this.”

“Huh. That’ll be interesting.”

“Why?”

“I dunno. Maybe reuniting the weirdo combo will be enough to snap Tsukasa out of whatever this is.”

“Thank you for inviting me, Saki.” Rui said politely as he entered the Tenma residence, surprised to see that it was already filled with people helping out with wedding favors and decorations. “And congratulations once again.”

“Hehe, of course Rui! It may have been a long time, but you’re still family, y’know?”

He smiled at that though it hurt a little bit. Had Tsukasa stayed, maybe he would’ve really believed it.

It was wedding preparation time. Mizuki and Ena were already inside tailoring some clothes together - arguing over details and terms that Rui only vaguely recognised. Nene and Emu surprisingly were here too, with Nene typing up place cards and Emu blowing balloons.

Ichika and Honami were talking to Shiho, probably saying something to embarrass her judging by the redness in her cheeks. Especially since Shizuku decided to join in with Airi.

Akito was sitting next to Toya while he frantically switched between writing something down and typing on his laptop. His face looked like he was in hyper-focus, and Akito just sat there keeping him company while looking amused by his determination.

“Are you sure you need any more help?” Rui teased. “Seems you already have an entire wedding committee.”

Saki giggled. “Well, with all the money big brother sent I guess we could’ve afforded a professional team and a big fancy venue and stuff but… I think it means more like this, don’t you?”

At the mention of Tsukasa, Rui deflated slightly. Where was he? Ena told him that Tsukasa had landed, but from the looks of it, Saki didn’t know yet.

“...Is Tsukasa coming?” He asked, hoping he wasn’t being too insensitive. 

Saki pulled one of her curls behind her ear. “Um. He said he would in that interview, right? So surely he’ll be here for the ceremony, at least.”

“Wait, you haven’t spoken to him directly?” 

“No one has,” Saki said dejectedly. “Our calls go through to his agent and she says he’s always too busy, so…”

That definitely did not sound like Tsukasa. He would never ignore his siblings! He practically lived for them. Something was wrong, so incredibly wrong.

It was as Rui’s brain started cycling through possibilities that a gentle knock was heard from the front door. Saki tilted her head, confused. “Who could that be? No one else should be coming tonight?”

She opened the door to reveal a sheepish looking figure with a black mask concealing most of his face.

But one look into those eyes and they knew who it was immediately.

“B-Big brother?”

“Hi Saki-”

She barrelled over him immediately when she leapt up to hug him, knocking them both onto the ground. Rui could hear Saki’s quiet sobs as she clung onto her brother, but Tsukasa’s face was unreadable. He didn’t let go until she did, finally helping them both up.

Immediately she frowned again. It shouldn’t have been that easy to knock Tsukasa over. 

“I’m sorry for showing up without saying anything,” Tsukasa said, voice so quiet that Rui had to strain to hear it from where he stood inside the house, staring at the boy in awe.

The differences were so much more apparent in person. With his bleached hair and pale skin - definitely covered with concealer. Not to mention how baggy and out of place his clothes looked on him. He looked tired.

“Don’t apologise for that!” Saki cried out. “I’m just so glad you’re here… It’s been too long.”

Tsukasa didn’t say anything else as Saki let him in. He froze when he saw Rui, and the two were locked in a staring contest before a loud shriek and scarily fast footsteps revealed Emu who jumped onto Tsukasa in a way similar to Saki. Luckily Rui was here to keep them from falling over this time, but he noticed how Tsukasa strained under the weight of Emu as she hugged him like a tree, her arms wrapped around his head and her legs around his waist.

“E-Emu!” He said, voice a bit muffled by her hands. “C-Can you please let me go?”

What was with that stutter? Tsukasa never stuttered before! He was always confident with what he had to say, never second guessing himself or hesitating. 

Rui felt himself getting angry. Did Tsukasa really give up his entire personality for stardom? Rui had always thought he’d have more integrity than that. 

“Tsukasa?” Toya stood before them, brows furrowed as he looked at Tsukasa. As they stood next to each other, Rui noticed that Tsukasa was looking even paler than Toya. 

Tsukasa hugged his little brother weakly, his hands laying limp where they rested on Toya’s back. Rui made eye contact with him once more to see what looked like apprehension in his eyes, as if he regretted coming.

The rest of the reunions were fairly the same, everyone in awe that Tsukasa actually came back, and all unsettled by how different he’d become. The tension in the air was suffocating, Tsukasa acted as though every person in the room was a stranger, and not childhood friends.

Rui crossed his arms, letting his fingernails dig into the skin in an attempt to reel in his own anger. He didn’t think he was angry at Tsukasa, but he was angry at someone for whatever happened to the star to make him shine so dimly.

He was supposed to be blinding, impossible to ignore! Now he was trying to melt away into the background.

“Tsukasa.” There was one last person to greet him - Shiho. The glare she sent him was venomous, and Rui swore the entire room dropped in temperature from her rage. “Nice of you to show up now, of all times.”

The star winced, looking away at his feet. “...I really am sorry-”

“You missed Saki’s graduation,” Shiho hissed. “You’ve missed birthdays, holidays, milestones! Did you even know that Leo/Need is going on tour next year?”

Tsukasa’s head swung up. “Really?”

Shiho scoffed. “You never called or texted. What, you went and got famous so now you’re too good for your own family?”

“That’s not…”

“You have no idea what you put Saki through,” Shiho growled as she stepped forward, crowding Tsukasa. Despite the fact that he was taller, Shiho’s mere presence was intimidating enough to have him cowering. “Did you really think money was going to be enough to make up for the fact that you abandoned your own sister?!”

“Okay okay,” Ichika quickly stepped in, gently pulling Shiho back. She was going to protest until she was sharply turned to face Saki, whose face was streaming with tears. “I think that’s enough, let’s just all calm down, okay? We’re here to celebrate, not fight.”

Shiho scoffed again but made her way to Saki. Tsukasa heard her whisper an apology, and a soft “are you okay?” that had Saki practically crawling into her arms.

“I shouldn’t have come,” Tsukasa murmured to himself, looking around at the people who’ve grown contentedly without him. Heather was right - they didn’t need or want him around.

Louder, Tsukasa said, “Maybe I should go.”

Shiho’s head whipped around. “What’s wrong with you?! We’re angry because you’ve been ignoring us all for years, and your solution is to leave?”

“I don’t know what to do,” Tsukasa whispered, almost more to himself than anyone else. 

“Why don’t you try making things right?” She cried out in frustration. “Try being here for a change!”

Tsukasa was practically squirming in place, eyes darting around at all the judging expressions of his former friends staring at him. He suddenly felt very cold, and desperately wished Heather was here to tell him what to do, how to make this better. She always knew how to make things better…

Rui watched the exchange closely, feeling his anger fizzle away at the sight of how truly pathetic Tsukasa looked. It was like looking at a stranger, so deeply unsettling that Rui briefly considered the possibility of this being a faulty clone of his old friend. 

“Tsukasa, could you come with me for a moment?” Rui decided to have pity on him, he couldn’t keep watching this trainwreck. Maybe he could help Tsukasa out the way he used to help him.

“Um,” Tsukasa looked around as if waiting for someone to give him permission. It was such an instant reaction that Rui began to worry. Happy and well-taken care of people don’t act like this. He was right - there had to be much more going on behind the scenes. 

“Just go.” Shiho huffed, her venomous glare burning holes in his eyes.

Tsukasa nodded obediently before walking over to Rui, waiting for him to lead the way. 

Rui used to visit the Tenma residence all the time - so he knew exactly where to go to get some privacy. Or well, sort of privacy. 

Tsukasa’s old room was a bit open, seeing as it was a loft that only had three walls containing it. They walked up the stairs and Rui stared in awe for a moment at the fact that the bedroom was exactly the same as Tsukasa left it. It was like nothing had changed - it was also clearly well taken care of, seeing as there was no dust to be found.

He looked over at Tsukasa, hoping that this sight might have cheered him up a little, but instead he looked like he was going to be sick.

Tsukasa stumbled over to his closet and stared inside at his old clothes - the stuff he had to leave behind - and felt a wave of nostalgia rush over him at their bright and tacky colours. 

Well maintained in the back of the closet was Tsukasa’s old performance costumes. He cringed at the sight of them and quickly shut the door, turning back to face Rui who had watched the scene with sadness in his eyes. 

“What happened to you, Tsukasa?”

The star blinked, mouth gaping for a moment as he tried to figure out what kind of answer Rui wanted. 

“I don’t… Nothing happened, Rui.”

The director scoffed, though there was no heat behind it. “Tsukasa, look at yourself. You’re an entirely different person. I can barely recognise you.”

For a moment, Tsukasa lit up. “Really?”

Rui felt his jaw hang open. “Tsukasa- That’s not a good thing!”

The star flinched and staggered back as if struck. “No, no it is. Heather told me-”

“Your agent?”

“Yeah. She’s always looked out for me. I needed to grow up and act more mature… I was childish and self absorbed before, it was obnoxious and no one liked it.”

There was something so mechanical about the way Tsukasa said that, as if it weren’t his own words but rather a sentence he’s been trained to recite over and over again.

“That’s not true,” Rui insisted. “Everyone here adored you before, Tsukasa.”

“If they did then why didn’t they reach out to me?” He said quietly. 

Rui felt the pieces begin to pull themselves together. The lack of communication wasn’t intentional on Tsukasa’s part, and this bizarre personality change ran deeper than just a role he was playing.

It was like his perception of himself had been shattered and hastily reglued to make this mockery of the Great Tsukasa Tenma, leaving in its place a fidgety and helpless star who's been conditioned to not make a single decision for himself.

“Tsukasa this isn’t-” Rui was immediately cut off by the sound of Tsukasa’s phone ringing. The sound startled the boy so much he nearly dropped the device before he was able to hastily accept the call.

“H-Heather, what are-”

Tsukasa paled (Rui didn’t know it was possible to get any paler than he already was) at whatever was being said to him on the other line. He stumbled away to the corner of his room, biting the fingernail of his thumb before abruptly slamming his hand down by his side, as if someone had scolded him.

That’s a conditioned response.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean for anyone to recognise me-”

“No no! I really didn’t plan it, you know I wouldn’t do that!”

“Heather- I really am sorry it won’t happen again.”

There was silence for a moment while the other person on the line spoke, Tsukasa looking more and more panicked by the second.

“N-No… I’m not at the hotel. I-I just wanted to visit Saki,” Tsukasa sounded like he was pleading, almost. “I didn’t mean to ditch the escorts I just- I wanted-”

More silence while Tsukasa pitifully listened to what was being said. 

“Okay, I understand.” He finally mustered up after a while before dropping the phone down to his side, the call ended.

“Tsukasa…?”

“I need to go back to the hotel,” Tsukasa muttered, turning to head down the stairs as Saki was just about to walk up.

“Wait what? You’re already leaving big brother?”

The star winced when he nodded. “I-I wasn’t supposed to come tonight, I broke a rule and… My agent is just worried about me. I have to go back.”

“But you haven’t even eaten anything yet!” Saki sounded so young, like she did when they were in highschool. “A-And there’s so much more to do! We didn’t even get to talk.”

He shook his head resolutely. “I’m sorry,” Was all he could manage to say. “I’m sorry.”

Chapter Text

Rui spent the rest of the night sitting in Tsukasa’s room, on top of his bed as he stared at the floorboards replaying every interaction he’s had with the star thus far. 

He hasn’t felt so helpless in a while. Usually when Rui came across a problem, it didn’t take long for the logical side of his brain to start working and conjuring up solutions. He’d like to think he was getting pretty good at reading people - they weren’t that much different than machines, afterall. People usually were easier to understand than you’d think, but Tsukasa was clearly becoming the exception.

Rui had hoped being in his old room would’ve reignited old memories for Tsukasa like the way it did for him.

“Rui! You know we can’t bring a rocket launcher to school! If An catches us again…”

Rui giggled. “You worry too much, Tsukasa. It’s a relatively small rocket launcher.”

“Relative to what?!”

“A much larger rocket launcher?”

Tsukasa groaned dramatically. “I swear you do this to me on purpose!”

“It’s just so fun to watch you get all riled up,” Rui confessed.

With a huff, Tsukasa said, “I’m glad my suffering brings you entertainment.”

“Not your suffering,” Rui quickly corrected. “Your theatrics. I must say, you’re the most expressive person I’ve ever met.”

“Hah! Of course I am! If I am to become the greatest star known to man, I have to have a series of expressions at my disposal! One must never stop acting.”

Rui scoffed. Tsukasa seemed to take his own advice too literally.

Frustration was bubbling over. Rui has never felt so powerless in a situation regarding his friends before. Were he and Tsukasa even still friends? He desperately wanted to reconnect with him, but how was he supposed to do that when the star had a million walls up to protect himself?

And to protect himself from what ?

Not long after Tsukasa made his hasty exit, Rui had gone downstairs to try and explain what he knew, with the phone call and the strange reactions he had to it. He couldn’t in good conscience not share his concerns about the potential of Tsukasa being horribly mistreated - a notion quickly backed by Airi and Shizuku. 

Emu had burst into tears. Though nothing was confirmed yet, it felt pretty safe to say that Tsukasa had been taken advantage of as a child and was paying the price for it now. Nene gently patted the top of Emu’s head, smoothing out her perpetual cowlicks.

They had tried to come up with a plan to help him but all came up short. The frustration led to Rui excusing himself and retreating back to the Star’s old room, trying to find some comfort in the last remnants of the real Tsukasa Tenma. Saki had watched him go, a deep sadness in her eyes as if she were begging him to help. Toya was as unreadable as ever, not a single movement on his face to betray his emotions.

Burying his face in his hands, Rui was prepared to call it a night and say his goodbyes so that he could go home and distract himself with a new project. 

That was until a strange buzzing came from his phone.

In confusion, Rui picked it up to see that his music app was open. His breath hitched at the sight of the first song displayed on his playlist.

Untitled.

He pressed play.

His eyes opened to a blinding light that was oh-so familiar. With a slight groan, Rui rubbed his eyes before feeling an instinctive smile creep up on his face at the sound of a beautiful orchestra playing in the distance, just like it used to in the Wonderland Sekai.

He couldn’t really be back… Could he?

It wasn’t exactly the same. The colours were duller, and the rides seemed as though they were only now beginning to start up for the first in a long time. It was like a child’s playroom that had been outgrown, but years later was now being reborn anew.

“Rui!” His head whipped around in excitement at the sight of Miku herself, hopping over at top speed before hugging him tightly, spinning him around with her for a moment.

“Miku!” He finally managed once they stopped spinning. “I can’t believe it’s really you, I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Miku paused in her excitement, a flash of hurt striking before she seemed to curl up into herself. “Not since Tsukasa’s Sekai.”

“Isn’t this Tsukasa’s Sekai?” Rui asked, softening his voice to match Miku’s sudden somber tone. It was unsettling to see her like this, not unlike what it was like to see Tsukasa these days.

She shook her head, pigtails waving back and forth. “Sekai’s are built off of strong feelings. Tsukasa doesn’t have many of those anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Rui’s voice was almost a whisper. 

Miku just shrugged, digging her toes into the dirt beneath them.

“Hey, Rui?” She said quietly, waiting for his full attention. “Do you remember when you all first came to Sekai, and you asked me what happens when the owners of one die or leave?”

All he could do was nod. At the time it had hardly seemed like a morbid question, afterall he never could’ve anticipated finding out the answer so soon.

“The Sekai doesn’t actually vanish, or disappear. If the owner of the Sekai abandons it, the rest of the Vocaloids go away, ceasing to exist.”

She looked up at him with a watery smile. Rui hadn’t known she was capable of crying.

“I lose my friends… My family every time.”

She began walking down the park path towards the main stage, Rui following diligently behind. 

“When a new Sekai is born, it takes time but they come back eventually. Slowly, with different personalities and appearances. But it’s always me, I’m always the same. Just a little different.”

“So everyone else is gone?” Rui asked, hating that he already knew the answer.

“The second that Tsukasa rejected his Sekai they began to dematerialise. It’s slower than you’d think. We had enough time to know what was going on, but there was nothing we could do.”

Rui’s heart sank. Miku was alone wandering an empty Sekai for all these years? Maybe Sekai never stopped being a reflection of Tsukasa. Even after he abandoned it, it began just as empty and lifeless as him.

“Then… If this isn’t Tsukasa’s Sekai anymore, how does it exist?”

Miku finally let a smile grace her perfect features again. “It’s yours, Rui. Welcome to your Sekai, born from your feelings of wanting to save Tsukasa Tenma.”

Tsukasa felt like he was going to be sick. 

He should’ve known that wouldn’t have gone well, he should’ve been smart enough to realise he wasn’t wanted there, and that Heather was right. 

Now he was left with a broken heart and an angry Heather, who was disappointed that Tsukasa had lied. He hadn’t lied to her in years! What was he thinking?! He betrayed the one person who had unconditionally stood by his side for the past few years, and he had nothing to show for it except tears and the knowledge that all of his old friends despised him.

It had been oh-so painful to watch their faces as they examined his, scrutinising looks of chagrin and disappointment judging his every movement. 

It had been so nice to be hugged by Saki and Emu, almost nice enough to make it all worth it. The second Tsukasa saw Toya’s impassive, and unimpressed expression, his heart sank once more. There was once a time where Tsukasa called Saki and Toya his #1 and #2 fans, when they’d look at him with stars in their eyes and awe.

Now the illusion was gone, the curtain pulled, revealing the sad reality that was Tsukasa Tenma underneath.

He hated himself for taking a day that was supposed to be about Saki and Shiho and ruining it entirely, making it all about him. Heather had scolded him about that in the car, her sharp words crystal clear through the phone. Tsukasa could only sit there and take it, like he always did.

Now he sat in his hotel room, a scene so similar to every lonely night he spent in his apartment. It was different this time, now that he had been reminded of the bright and vibrant colour in his childhood home, how full of life it was. It was worse.

The look of disappointment and resignation in Saki’s face as he left was enough to shatter whatever was left of Tsukasa’s spirit. Heather was right. She always was. He’d ruin everything he touched without her there to stop him.

He knew that he was better now than he used to be, that people liked him more and he was less annoying. And yet… He found himself longing for the person he once was.

He was so happy, then. 

There was once a time he wouldn’t hesitate before answering a question, or approaching a stranger. He wouldn't go home and overthink every interaction he had that day, he’d eat whatever he’d want and wear whatever he’d want. 

He’d be with his friends, laughing and performing.

Everything was so muddy. Even all of those happy memories were now tainted with the truth that Heather had revealed. All those times Tsukasa had thought everyone was laughing with him, they were actually laughing at him. They were irritated, and annoyed.

…

But then there was what Rui had said. 

“That’s not true. Everyone here adored you before, Tsukasa.”

Everyone here adored you before, Tsukasa.

Everyone here adored you before.

Everyone here adored you.

Before.

He looked so sincere when he spoke, unlike all of those interviewers who would respond with mock sympathy or pretend kindness.

Rui had never been one to lie. He had always been overwhelmingly honest, not the kind of person to mince words or provide fake niceties.

He especially never lied to Tsukasa, not when it came to the things that mattered. When Tsukasa was out of line, Rui would let him know. When Tsukasa was wrong, he’d let him know. 

And Tsukasa always appreciated that.

But now he didn’t know what was true or not. When did it get so hard to tell what people really meant? When did it become such a minefield just to have simple interactions with the people around him?

He just wanted to make people smile. But it seemed that nowadays, people only looked at him with that awful, pitiful frown.

“ Wahaha ! Watch me in awe as I perform this next trick!”

Rui smiled, though with a bit of sadness, as he watched Len perform on stage. Miku explained that every Sekai started off with her, and one or two other Vocaloids that were there based on whatever the creator needed urgently.

Tsukasa had needed Kaito, a mature adult figure to guide and coach him into becoming the star he always wanted. Someone who could be honest but kind, the perfect role model.

It seemed that what Rui needed was a reminder of what he was fighting for. Len acted almost exactly like the younger Tsukasa had. He was confident and full of light, making his presence known in every room and grinning with the warmth of a million suns.

Miku jumped up and down in place excitedly, watching as Len performed his magic tricks alongside the plushies - who had made their comeback as well, seeing as they were important to Rui now, too. This Sekai was slightly different, with more robots and machinery for Rui to work with, and much more to discover, it seemed.

It was almost like a labyrinth, the way that one door would lead to an entirely different area. Without Miku, Rui surely would’ve gotten lost by now. There were still many remnants of Tsukasa’s Sekai, causing the inventor to wonder if perhaps his was built on the remaining pieces of Tsukasas? Surely it had to, if it were all so similar like this…

“For my next trick, watch me as I bring back the dead!”

Rui blinked. Had he missed something? Who died ?”

Taking off his top hat and laying it right-side up on the floor, Len raised his arms in a flourish before lifting it up, revealing a figure that appeared with it.

“T-Tsukasa?!” 

There, standing proudly on the stage, was young Tsukasa. He looked just the way he had for their first performance, and Rui felt his heart pounding at his expression of pure joy and confidence.

“Ah, Rui! Finally you’ve made it!”

Rui found himself standing out of his seat and sprinting towards the stage, watching the former star closely. “Is it really you?”

Tsukasa laughed - a real laugh, loud and booming. “Of course not, Rui! Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a figment of your Sekai, a remnant of the real Tsukasa Tenma.”

Rui felt his excitement waver. It had been so easy to get lost in the magic of this world, so easy to let himself hope for the impossible.

The Tsukasa on stage grabbed Len’s hat and whipped it at Rui’s head, startling the director greatly.

“Wh- Ow!”

“Stop with that face!” Tsukasa demanded. “I’m not actually dead, you know! I’m alive out there!”

“You might as well be dead…”

Tsukasa grabbed one of the plushies and whipped it at Rui’s head again.

“Stop being so dramatic!” He scolded, almost making Rui laugh at the irony of him saying that. “It doesn’t suit you! Yes, it appears my real life counterpart has strayed from who he is, but who better to knock some sense back into him than the world’s greatest director?”

Rui picked up the plushie that had been used as a projectile against him and gently patted its head. “I’m not a director anymore.”

“Oh boo hoo!” Tsukasa teased, no cruelty behind the words. “Come on Rui! You never stop being a performer! In your heart you know that to be true. You know I’d always follow your direction, your lead. There’s no one I’d trust more with my life than you.”

Rui tried not to blush at the intense words. “That was before, now you only seem to listen to your agent…”

“Use that big brain of yours, Rui!” Tsukasa groaned. “Doesn’t something seem off about that? You said it yourself earlier to the others, clearly I’ve been manipulated! Can you imagine that? The great Tsukasa Tenma being reduced to a quivering ball of anxiety? Eugh! It makes me sick.”

With a shaky laugh, Rui had to admit that this Tsukasa had a point. 

“I want to save you, more than anything, but this is bigger than any show I’ve ever directed! How could I possibly undo all of the years of damage Tsukasa faced while he was all alone?”

The fake Tsukasa softened his expression, leaning down to sit criss-cross applesauce, now perfectly eye level with Rui. It was only now that he realised that Miku and Len had left, leaving the two alone. “It’s not going to be easy, Rui. But you’ve always liked a challenge, yeah? If anyone could possibly snap him out of it, it’s you.”

“I know that it’s a lot to ask of you,” The fake continued, that glow of determination resurfacing on his face. “Especially since you’re only one person, and expecting you to save someone as damaged as him… I just know that you can do it. He may be a bit damaged, but he’s hardly broken. Like a Phoenix, the great Tsukasa Tenma will return from the ashes! Greater than ever!” 

His voice quieted down a little bit again. “He just needs a little bit of help, first.”

Rui smiled, a warmth he hadn’t felt in a while filling him until he was sure he’d overflow. He hadn’t felt this much hope in a long time, and of course it’d be Tsukasa’s face demanding he never give up.

“I promise you,” Rui grinned. “I’m going to bring a smile back to Tsukasa’s face - a real one.”

The fake Tsukasa stood back up and with his hands on his hips and his wide grin, he looked almost like a pristine statue. “I’m holding you to that, Kamishiro. Now toss me back that hat.”

A little confused, Rui obliged and watched as Tsukasa caught it with ease before tipping it a little at Rui with a cheshire cat smile and then putting it on his head. The second it touched him it dropped to the floor, encompassing him whole and leaving behind nothing but a dramatic cloud of smoke and that hat. 

Rui felt excitement rushing through his veins. He knew what he needed to do to help Tsukasa. He just needed to be patient. 

“Is Rui not upstairs?” Saki asked quietly as Toya returned alone.

“Seems so,” He murmured, sitting next to his little sister and gently rubbing her back. “I’m sorry your night was ruined, Saki.”

She shook her head. “I don’t care about any of that, I really don’t. All the frills and parties in the world couldn’t replace Tsukasa.”

Shiho walked in with two mugs of hot cocoa, gently placing one in Saki’s shaky hands and sitting down on her other side. By now it seemed that most of the party guests had left - though reluctantly and unsurely.

“I’m really sorry about how I treated him,” Shiho sighed. “I was out of line and I only made things worse.”

It was Toya who shook his head. “He needed to hear the truth, I don’t blame you.”

“Do you think Rui is right, that Tsukasa is being… abused or something?” Saki asked hesitantly.

Shiho stiffened a bit, thinking back to the horror stories Shizuku would tell her about life as an idol. Tsukasa wasn’t exactly in the same position, but it was far too similar for her liking.

“He was all alone over there, and still pretty young,” Shiho admitted, not wanting to sugar coat things for Saki. “He was the perfect target for manipulation.”

“But why?” Saki cried out. “Why would anyone want to do that to someone as good as him?”

“Money.” Shiho shrugged. “I wish I could tell you it was something more meaningful than that, but at the end of the day an easy to control celebrity is one that’s easy to make money off of.”

Saki ducked her head, knowing her soon-to-be wife was right, but hating the truth anyway. “Do you think he’ll still show up to the wedding…?”

“If he doesn’t, I’ll hunt him down and drag his ass there if I need to.” Shiho said bluntly, coaxing a watery giggle out of Saki as she wiped her eyes.

“Is it bad that I considered playing the “sick” card to get him to come visit?” Saki asked quietly, causing Shiho to snort. “Maybe faint and make a big show of it.”

“I think if anyone’s allowed to, it’d be you, Saki,” She answered. “I mean is it a little messed up? Yeah… But is it justified? I’d say yeah too.”

Maybe once that kind of joke would’ve made Shiho mad - Saki making light of such a serious ailment she faced - but now, seeing how little power her girlfriend gave to it made her feel better. Saki was unstoppable when she wanted to be - just like how relentless she was in getting Shiho to go on a date with her all those years ago.

And now here they were, about to get married.

Although… And this is a secret that the two of them would take to their graves, Saki and Shiho were technically already married. The papers had been signed months ago, Saki was too excited to wait and Shiho couldn’t deny her anything.

No one else had to know, though.

Toya smiled, happy to see that Shiho was succeeding in cheering Saki up. He really wanted to be there for his little sister and prioritise her happiness, but with Tsukasa’s bizarre behaviour, he wasn’t sure what he should do. He wanted to be there for both his siblings, but in his brother’s case, it was a bit more complicated. 

Afterall, how do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?

To go, or not to go to the wedding. That was the question Tsukasa had been asking himself for the past few hours.

What if he went and ruined it all like he did last night? What if not showing up shatters Saki’s heart and opinion of him entirely? What was he supposed to do?!

His hand itched to reach out for his phone to ask Heather - she always had a logical solution to Tsukasa’s problems. He held himself back only because he already knew what her answer would be. She didn’t want him to go at all in the first place - he had been thoroughly warned and advised, but he ignored her.

Sure, once he admitted he messed up and begged for her mercy  she’d forgive him - after some scolding, of course, but Tsukasa still found himself at odds. Heather was usually right but… This time it just felt wrong. He wanted to go, selfishly.

Tsukasa sat at the edge of his bed and stared off into space. A familiar melody suddenly started playing, the volume gradually getting louder until the Star finally recognised it.

“1925?” He whispered out loud, remembering the cover that he, Rui, Emu, and Nene had made with Miku. It was a startling reminder of such a different time, it only added to the dread Tsukasa was feeling.  

I let slip the tiniest glimpse of my true character

It’s sly, it’s sly, and it’s not cute at all

In that case I’ll try this, peeling back the skin of my true self

It stinks, it stinks, and it’s shameful

Tsukasa grimaced. Had the words to this song always been so… crude? He looked around for his phone, determined to shut off the music.

To his surprise it wasn’t where he left it on his bed, and yet the sound of the music still came through its speakers - wherever it was. As the song progressed he found himself getting more and more frantic. He didn’t want to hear this!

The reason I go looking for new love

Like some people throw away gum when they get bored of it

Is that I’m not like a puzzle piece

I can fit with anyone

Finally spotting the phone somehow sprawled underneath his bed, Tsukasa quickly stretched his arm in to grab it and promptly shut off the music, dropping the device onto the soft padding of his mattress with a huff. 

The sudden return of silence in his hotel room was maddening, but no more than the song. Tsukasa was so certain he had deleted all of those songs off of his phone forever ago, how was it possible that it started playing out of nowhere?

Deciding he didn’t care enough to investigate - he had enough problems to deal with - Tsukasa just made his way to his ensuite bathroom and tried to wash his face. No matter what he did it felt grimy and wrong, like a mask that had been glued on and was beginning to peel. 

With a sharp gasp, Tsukasa froze as he stared in the mirror and saw the tips of his hair. What was supposed to be perfectly bleached blond now featured a tinge of sunset pink.

“Agh, Rui, what’re you doing? Why’re you just touching my hair?!”

“Haha, my apologies Tsukasa, I’m just wondering. Aren’t you curious how you naturally seem to have such a unique colour?”

Tsukasa scoffed. “Look who’s talking! Your hair is literally bright purple with blue highlights! That’s more absurd than mine, if you ask me.”

“Ah, but my hair grows like this from the roots. Yours and Saki’s seem to change colour only at the ends, isn’t that absolutely fascinating?”

“Huh. I guess I never really thought about it before. It’s always just been like that.”

Rui laughed. “Of course it’d be a mystery, quite befitting of a future world star, don’t you think?”

“No,” Tsukasa muttered to himself. “It’s not fitting for a star at all.”

Starting to feel panic arise once more, Tsukasa thought back to the hair appointment Heather had scheduled last week that he had missed to go get fitted for his suit for Saki’s wedding. He hadn’t told her, and luckily she didn’t seem to notice. But if he returned with his hair looking like this, she’d surely be angry he tried to keep it from her.

“I can’t do anything right!” He cried out in frustration. “I’m not worthy of being a star at all…”

Tsukasa’s moment of self pity was abruptly interrupted by the sound of a loud, scandalised gasp coming from outside of the bathroom. Tsukasa leapt up 3 feet in the air before finally mustering up the courage to peek his head out and see if there was actually anyone there.

He let out a breath of relief to see the room was empty, letting him turn off the bathroom light and fall backwards onto his bed, grabbing his phone to see if he could text Heather for help. It was as he turned on his phone that it flung out of his hands - landing on the ground before erupting a life-sized hologram of-

“M-Me?” Tsukasa managed to get out, staring in complete shock at the hologram of his younger self. Holokasa was identical to him, back when he was still a part of WonderlandsXShowtime. 

The Hologram scoffed, offended. “Hardly! I’m nothing like you, there’s no way that you’re what became of the great Tsukasa Tenma!”

Tsukasa cringed at the loudness of his younger self’s voice, as well as his unwarranted confidence and bright attire. It was everything that Heather hated. That everyone hated.

The Hologram glared at him, scrutinizing. “I truly can’t believe that I could ever have sunk so low.”

“I did what I needed to become a star,” Tsukasa said, feeling the need to defend himself against… himself. “This is what it took.”

“If this was the price for stardom, then maybe stardom isn’t worth it.”

Tsukasa clenched his fists. Why was everyone always trying to tell him that? To discourage him from all of the hard work he’s accomplished all these years?

“You’re pitiful.” The Hologram muttered. “You can barely talk without stuttering, you dress like you’ve never heard of colour before, and you’ve been neglecting all of your friends! Don’t even get me started on that hair.”

Tsukasa remained silent, not wanting to fight against the verbal abuse he was receiving. This seemed to be the wrong call, for it only enraged Holokasa even more.

“And now you won’t even try to defend yourself?! Have you no backbone? No will of your own? That wretched woman truly ruined you.”

“D-Don’t say that about Heather!” Tsukasa cried out. “S-She’s taken great care of me, she’s the only friend I have.”

“She’s not your friend,” Holokasa rolled his eyes. “She’s your agent. Do you really see nothing inappropriate about the fact that the only companion you’ve had for the past few years has been a woman 10 years your senior?”

Tsukasa flinched back. “Don’t say it like that! You’re making it sound like- She never did anything like that! Heather has just been helping me.”

“Helping you do what?” Holokasa cried out, his arms crossed against his blue and white costume. “Lose yourself? Become a Hollywood puppet? Isolate from your true friends and family?”

“No!” Tsukasa gripped his hair in frustration - a habit Heather had tried to correct out of him. “Why can’t anyone understand?! You of all people should!”

Holokasa narrowed his eyes. “If every person who’s ever truly cared about you is saying something is wrong, don’t you think they’re right? Why do you value the opinion of one woman over the opinion of many?”

Tsukasa didn’t know how to respond, so Holokasa continued.

“It’s because she’s kept you so isolated from everyone else that you only had her to rely on! She’s trapped you in not just a contract, but by breaking your spirit to the point where you willingly stay with her. You used to be able to see that what she was doing was wrong. You used to fight back.”

“Stop it,” Tsukasa begged. “Please, I don't want to talk about this.”

“Why?” Holokasa challenged. “Because it’s hard? Because it’s scary? Because it makes you feel too many difficult emotions?”

“Yes!” 

A scoff. “Well too bad, because to live means to suffer. But it almost means to laugh, to cry, to smile, to scream, to hate, to love! Life means making decisions, and sometimes even making bad ones, but owning up to them! Life is all about conflict, you can’t just hide away from it forever!”

“I can,” Tsukasa muttered. “Heather said-”

“Heather has made you so dependent on her that you aren’t even capable of forming your own thoughts!” Holokasa cried out. “The great Tsukasa Tenma isn’t supposed to run away from conflict! He’s supposed to run towards it, headfirst and prepared to face whatever he needs to!”

“Why would anyone want to run towards conflict?” Tsukasa asked helplessly. “Why would anyone want to suffer? If I can avoid it… If Heather can keep protecting me from it, then why shouldn’t I be able to enjoy it?”

“Oh, because Heather is doing such a wonderful job at protecting you from pain right now,” Holokasa sneered. “Don’t you remember when we first recruited Rui for our troupe? Don’t you remember the fight we had?”

“You will never become a star.”

Tsukasa wanted to curl up inside himself. Why would he want to remember this?

“That fight is what made WonderlandsXShowtime what it was!” Holokasa sounded more sentimental. “Fighting with Rui is what made us realise we were wrong, but it’s also what helped us find our way again! We had forgotten why we perform, to bring smiles to people’s faces!”

He paused as he looked down at the tear-streaked Tsukasa Tenma, hugging his knees helplessly. “It seems you’ve forgotten it again anyway.”

“N-No,” Tsukasa shook his head. “I make people happy! I inspire my fans-”

“Do you really?” Holokasa raised a brow. “Because all I see is you inspiring your fans to be just like you - helpless and timid. All of your comments talk about how seeing you act all shy makes them feel better for being like that too, but is that really what you want?! Imagine if instead, you got messages from fans thanking you for inspiring them to be bold, to be brave! To speak out and love themselves loudly , not caring about what anyone else says.”

Tsukasa didn’t know what to say, all he could do was let the tears keep streaming down his pale cheeks.

“You’re losing yourself,” Holokasa said, brows furrowed as he looked down at him. “If you go back to America like this, if you let yourself stay complacent and obedient, then you’ll lose all of your friends forever.”

“I already have,” Tsukasa whined.

Holokasa groaned. “Are all adults this obnoxiously pessimistic? No, you haven’t! They still care about you, there’s still time. You can fix this, but you have to get up and do something .”

“D-Do what?” 

“For starters, stop begging everyone to tell you what to do! Decide for yourself! Accept the fact that you might be wrong, you might make mistakes, but you need to try away. Your identity is no one else's but your own - stop letting Heather decide who you are. You were once amazing, a force to be reckoned with!”

“I don’t remember what it was like to be like that, anymore.” Tsukasa sighed. 

Holokasa shook his head. “You’re never going to be able to return to what you were before,” Tsukasa flinched, but the hologram continued anyway. “That version of you is gone, and you can never get it back. But this you? This is not who you are. You’re unhappy, you’re barely your own person. Stop seeing it as if there are only two possible versions of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Become someone new,” Holokasa said. “But this time, figure out who that is on your own. No one can tell you who to be, not Heather, not Rui, not even me! You’ve repressed me long enough, don’t you want to see what you’d be like if you just tore these walls down and let yourself be .”

“I don’t know how,” Tsukasa stressed, leaning forward. “I-I’ve been like this for so long I- I don’t know how to be anyone else, anymore!”

Holokasa sighed in frustration. “Saki’s wedding is coming up. Your friends are going to make an effort to help you, but that won’t mean anything if you don’t get your ass up and help yourself first.”

“But-!”

“No. No buts! This is a decision that only you can make.” Holokasa turned before pausing and looking back. “For your sake and everyone else's, I hope you make the right one. It’s time for you to decide, who do you want to be?”

Then the hologram fizzled away, and Tsukasa was once again left alone.

He stared off at where Holokasa once stood for a few minutes, his brain running faster than he could possibly keep up with. 

Tsukasa reached up slowly and felt the tips of his hair, holding the pink strands gently between his pointer and his thumb.

Who did he want to be?

Chapter Text

Tsukasa paced back and forth, eyes occasionally darting to the phone that sat on his hotel bed, opened up to Heather’s contact. The call button taunted him, painfully watching him as he spiraled into panic.

Saki’s wedding was tonight. 

It was a nighttime wedding so that it could be spent underneath the stars, it was so like her that it made Tsukasa smile through his own anxieties. He wondered if he’d still be welcome, if Saki would be proud of him if he could just make this one call…

What would the great Tsukasa Tenma do?

Frustration washed over. He was the great Tsukasa Tenma! Or at least, he used to be, once. How did he do it? How did he manage to live so… boldly? So unafraid?

Holokasa’s words rang in his head, a reminder of the harsh wake-up call he had received after Saki’s wedding preparation party. 

Since then, the hologram hasn't made another appearance. This didn’t mean that he didn’t make his presence known, though.

At random throughout the day, Tsukasa would be startled by the sudden playing of a song he once sang, his younger voice laughing and smiling through the lyrics. At first it had only been painfully nostalgic, a reminder of what he had lost. But then the songs became more and more judgemental.

Like right now, the way that Mr. Showtime played on loop. Inherently, Tsukasa knew that once he called Heather it’d stop, it was his hologram’s way of pushing him.

“Make your own decisions,” Tsukasa whispered to himself. “Be your own person.” 

He repeated it like a mantra as he darted his hand out to hit call before he could chicken out. He bit the tip of his thumb as the phone rang, a click making his heart drop before that voice spoke.

“Tsukasa? Is everything alright?”

“Heather,” He said, feeling his resolve waver but not disappear. “I-I need to talk to you about something, it’s really important.”

“If it’s this important then can’t it wait until you’re back here and we can discuss it in person?”

“That’s the thing,” Tsukasa braced himself. “I want to stay here.”

There was a moment of silence where neither party spoke. The quiet was painful to Tsukasa.

“You know you can’t do that, Tsukasa.” Heather said, voice cold. “You have responsibilities here.”

“I-I know,” Tsukasa said, trying to steady his voice. “But my sister- my family and friends they all… I need to be with them.” He cringed at the jilted way he spoke, the way that he couldn’t think of the right words fast enough to make them come out any smoother. 

God, he wished he had a script.

“The same friends and family that have been ignoring you for years?” It was less of a question and more of a blunt statement.

“Y-Yes.” Tsukasa said, not rising to the bait. “I need some time to be back home, I-I think… For my mental health.”

“I disagree, Tsukasa,” Heather said, voice painfully gentle. “Working and performing is what makes you happy. I think you’ll only stress yourself out by staying here with people who don’t care about you. Why don’t you fly back early and we can talk about bettering your mental health here? You know our agency has wonderful therapists at the ready.”

Tsukasa hesitated. Heather had this uncanny way of providing solutions to problems that went against what Tsukasa truly wanted. 

“I appreciate that, I really do but I need to be here. I-I’ve neglected my sister and brother for too long.”

“They’re adults now, Tsukasa.” Heather said, sounding a bit more frustrated. “Your sister is getting married, your brother isn’t far from saying the same. You’re not needed there like you keep saying you are, you just want to run away from your responsibilities.”

“T-That’s not it!” Tsukasa felt a flicker of righteous anger return to him. How dare Heather suggest he was doing this out of laziness? Didn’t she know him better by now? “I need to- I want to take a break.”

Heather sighed as if she were dealing with a petulant child. It sprang back that feeling of inadequacy that followed Tsukasa like a plague, but he’s come too far to back down now!

“I’m sorry Tsukasa, but that is just not possible. I’m moving your flight up to tomorrow at noon, your time.”

“Wh- What?!” Tsukasa cried out. “That’s not- You can’t make me!”

There was a derisive laugh on the other side of the line that made Tsukasa feel uneasy. “Tsukasa, I most certainly can. Should I remind you of the conditions of your contract?”

The young star felt himself pale. “Heather, please -”

“I’m really disappointed in you, Tsukasa. This is why I didn’t want you to go to this wedding, it’s already corrupting you with dangerous ideas.”

“Dangerous…?”

“Let me make myself clear, Tsukasa,” Heather’s voice was uncaring and sharp. “For the next 10 years, my agency owns you. You don’t make your decisions - we do. If you try to fight me on this and try to make my life difficult I assure you I can guarantee that these cheques sent back for your family can stop, I can remove whatever freedom you think you still have.”

Tsukasa was stunned into silence. Never before had he felt so stupid. He really convinced himself that Heather cared about him, that he was a willing participant in all of this. All along it seemed that he was nothing more than a money-making puppet on a string. 

“Be grateful I’m still allowing you to attend this wedding. I can just as easily make sure you’re on the next flight back. Is that what you want, Tsukasa? Do you want to keep arguing with me?”

“No, ma’am,” Tsukasa said in almost a whisper. 

Heather sighed on the other end, as if this were all just a big inconvenience to her, like Tsukasa was nothing more than a childish nuisance. “Good. I’m going to be monitoring you until you’re back to make sure there are no slip ups. I’m really disappointed that we have to go back to doing this. We’ll discuss your consequences when you’ve returned.”

“Consequences?” Tsukasa echoed, but she had already hung up. 

He stood there unmoving for longer than he realised. 

How could he have been so stupid? He listened to that stupid hologram and all it did was make things worse! What was he thinking?! Now Heather hated him more than ever, all he’d done is upset everyone around him!

“Where’s your words of wisdom now?!” He cried out, itching for the hologram to return. “What good did standing up for myself do?! What do you want me to do now?”

The silence infuriated him beyond belief. In anger he whipped his phone at the wall, not flinching when the glass shattered and it fell to the ground in an unceremonious clang. 

“What do you want me to do now?!” Tsukasa repeated, desperation soaking into his words. “Please. Please just tell me what to do.”

But there was nothing. Tsukasa was left alone in that uncaring hotel room, resigning himself to his fate to be stuck here all alone for the rest of his miserable life. 

Rui chugged more of his coffee before returning to his notes, eyes scanning the legal documents he was studying along with the textbooks of child psychology that he was quickly trying to study. 

He had returned to his home with a new found determination to figure out how to help Tsukasa, and he may or may not have been neglecting sleep to do it.

In his defense, he was running out of time! He simply didn’t have the luxury of rest and relaxation when he knew that after this wedding, there’d be no more reason for Tsukasa to stay around, and then he'd be on a plane and off to go lose himself even more.

Rui couldn’t stand the mere thought of it. He refused to imagine what it would be like to turn on the TV and see the shadow of what was once his friend, now an empty shell ready to play whatever part was thrown its way. 

His mind was beginning to blur his ideas together, everything becoming a bit more overwhelming than he’d like to admit. He was about to throw himself head first into another psychology journal when the sound of his doorbell startled him.

Ah, it’s probably Mizuki and Ena.

Usually the two of them would come to check up on Rui when it’s been a while since he’s raided their kitchen or crashed on their couch, since typically that meant that he was throwing himself too deeply into a new project or invention.

So Rui was hardly ever surprised when Ena would show up with a raised eyebrow or Mizuki with a fond roll of her eyes.

But admittedly, he was surprised to open the door and see that he was very wrong with his initial prediction.

There, standing on his front porch, was Emu, Nene, Saki, and Toya, all looking very seriously up at him. Before Rui even had a chance to speak, Emu was on her tippy-toes pointing a very accusatory finger at Rui - nearly taking out his eye.

“Rui! We want in on your plan!”

Gently pushing the offending finger away from his face, Rui could only blink in confusion. “Plan..?”

Nene sighed. “We know that you’re trying to figure out how to help Tsukasa.”

“We want in,” Saki said firmly.

“Wait, Saki, your wedding is tonight!” Rui said. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

She waved him off. “We don’t have time for that right now. Tsukasa needs us. So, what’s the plan?”

Before Rui could say anymore, Toya was gently pushing him aside to invite himself into Rui’s home, making his way towards the mess that was his planning site. 

“I have to confess, there’s no formal plan just yet,” Rui sighed miserably as he closed his front door after everyone had piled in. 

Toya nodded while he observed the mess closer. “It seems like you were thinking the same thing we were. We’ve been investigating child labour laws too.”

Rui almost opened his mouth to say, “you’ve been looking into this too?” before he realised how absurd of a question it’d be. Of course Tsukasa’s siblings and best friends would care about him just as much as Rui did, he was just so deeply trapped inside his own bubble that he hadn’t even stopped to consider asking for help.

Ironically, isn’t that the very same line of thinking that got Tsukasa into this mess he was in?

“We’ve also looked into having Emu purchase Tsukasa’s agency,” Nene dropped casually. “But that would take too much time, and there’s no guarantee it’d work if Tsukasa’s making them more money.”

Emu whined sadly. “If only we knew how much money it was…”

Saki’s determination never wavered, her expression was intense as she turned to Rui with those piercing eyes that reminded him so much of what Tsukasa used to be. 

“So c’mon Rui, you’re the genius director that Tsukasa never used to stop talking about! You’ve gotta have a plan!”

In his moment of hesitation, a small giggle interrupted them. “Maybe Rui doesn’t, but we do!”

Rui blinked, barely managing to get out a, “Miku?” Before the entire group was engulfed by white light and dropped into his Sekai. 

With groans of confusion, their group began rousing up slowly before Emu let out the most excited gasp of joy that Rui had ever heard in his life.

“We’re back!” She squealed, hugging Nene’s waist tightly as she bounced them both up and down. “The Sekai is back!”

“W-Woah,” Saki breathed out, staring at the sky full of rides in awe. “You have a Sekai too?!”

“Too?” Both Toya and Rui echoed before looking at each other in shock. Did everyone they know have a Sekai? 

“It used to be Tsukasas,” Rui said, immediately capturing everyone’s attention. “It seems to have shifted into mine after Tsukasa abandoned it, but that gives me hope that there’s still a chance of helping him.”

“There is!” Miku cheered out as she hopped towards the group, followed by Len. Emu jumped over and tackled them both in a hug, trying to cover up her soft sniffles of happiness.

Rui’s heart shattered at the sound. He had been so absorbed in his own work that he hadn’t even stopped to consider how much this Sekai meant to all of them. Even Nene was overwhelmed by happy nostalgia and relief, reaching out for Rui’s hand to help ground herself to the moment now that Emu wasn’t there to do it.

“What do you mean?” Saki asked Miku, visibly trying to tame down her feeling of hope to avoid disappointment.

“I know how we can save Tsukasa!” She said, eyes sparkling. “We just need to get him away from his agent!”

Rui tried to not let the disappointment on his face show. “Ah, well that’s easier said than done, Miku. We don’t know anything about Tsukasa’s contract, and I’m sure he’s not willing to share it.”

Miku’s grin turned mischievous. “If his contract is what you need then just leave it to me!”

Rui tilted his head. “How do you plan on getting it?”

“I can travel to any device so long as there’s a Vocaloid song on it!” Miku started to explain. Rui made a mental note of that for later. “I can use that to get into his agent’s computer and find a copy of his contract!”

“But… From the sounds of it, Tsukasa’s agent isn’t the type of person to listen to that kind of stuff,” Nene muttered. “She’s been pushing him away from his Japanese roots his entire career.”

Saki lit up. “But she would probably still have Tsukasa’s audition tapes saved, wouldn’t she? All of those videos that she watched to recruit him, surely she’d keep a copy!”

“You’re right,” Toya said almost breathlessly. “Then… Miku, could you really do it?”

“Just gimme some time and I’ll get it for sure!” 

Rui felt that familiar flutter of hope rush through him. “Wait, will we have enough time? The wedding is tonight, and who knows if we’ll be able to talk to Tsukasa after that…”

“What if we kidnapped him?” Emu asked, unreasonably casual. “We could keep him here until we figure out all of that contract-stuff!”

“Emu,” Nene sounded so tired. “We talked about this. You can’t just kidnap people-”

“We can definitely do that!” Len agreed. “I’ll guard over him myself!” 

“Please don’t encourage her,” Nene begged weakly. 

“Then we just need to grab him at my wedding,” Saki said. “It shouldn’t be too hard to get him alone, right?”

“Wait, you’re not serious about this-”

“He’d likely fight back,” Toya noted.

“Pfft, doubt it!” Emu said dismissively. “He’s like a zombie now!”

“Guys I really don’t think kidnapping is the best solution!” Nene finally raised her voice, managing to quiet everyone else down. “Listen… I want to force that idiot to stay here too but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what we do to save him if he doesn’t want to be saved!”

“But we can’t just give up,” Emu protested weakly.

“I’m not saying we should,” Nene amended quickly. “But forcing him isn’t the answer. We need to help him help himself. Otherwise we’re no better than his agent - taking advantage of someone weak and malleable.”

Rui sighed. “I hate when you’re reasonable.”

Nene laughed weakly. “Yeah, well someone in our troupe needed to be.”

“So what if Tsukasa says no to our help then…?” Saki asked, sounding particularly young. “I don’t want to lose my brother again… I can’t stand seeing him like this.”

Rui shook his head adamantly. “I know he’ll see reason. I refuse to believe that Tsukasa’s spirit could be crushed so thoroughly that he wouldn’t at least hear us out. The only reason his agent got away with this is because he was alone and vulnerable. But he has us, and we won’t let him be alone any longer.”

“That’s a really good speech, Rui,” Emu whispered very seriously, causing Rui to chuckle.

“Thank you, Emu. I can only hope I’ll have an even better one when we see Tsukasa again.

Each step felt like walking through mounds of collapsing snow as Tsukasa made his way out of the car and towards the entrance of the wedding venue. He could feel the private driver’s eyes on him as he moved forward, trying to remember how he used to walk.

Was it the left step first or right? Was he more forceful? Or did he used to be gentle but firm?

How was a confident person supposed to walk?!

Tsukasa felt his mind being pulled in a million directions. 

On one shoulder stood the devil - Heather, whispering in his ear that he was a disappointment and everyone hated him. On the other shoulder stood another devil - His hologram self, telling him to snap out of it and stop being so complacent and whiny.

In front of him stood Rui, who was smiling so softly at him at the front door.

Tsukasa felt frozen in place, like those golden eyes were freezing them with their gentle gaze. Was Rui waiting here for him? Or was he being full of himself? He could hear the sound of laughter and music from inside the venue, but the noise all drowned out when he saw his former director again.

Rui looked… Really pretty.

He was always pretty - make no mistake - but now in particular Rui was dressed in a beautiful dark suit with his hair open and wild like usual. Tucked in his breast pocket was a beautiful golden flower that contrasted against his violet hair so vividly that Tsukasa was powerless to do anything but stare at him.

This was so unfair.

It was in his daze that Tsukasa didn’t notice the matching violet flower that Rui held in a gloved hand, that he held up as he slowly moved forward, and with the delicateness of a dancer he placed into Tsukasa’s own suit.

“O-Oh.” He said lamely, at a complete loss for words. Rui just laughed - that unfortunately sweet and melodic sound that made Tsukasa turn away before his face could get any redder.

This was so unfair!

Rui had always been attractive, okay? Tsukasa wouldn’t deny that. But now he was unreasonably gentlemanly! Rui had really grown into himself, in a way that Tsukasa hadn’t been able to notice last he saw him. He reminded Tsukasa of the prince that he used to play in their shows. He wondered distantly what that would make him. Was he a prince, too? Or was he just the court jester here to amuse and distract?

He was forcefully yanked out of his self-pity by Rui as he linked their elbows and began dragging him inside. He ignored Tsukasa’s sputtering to whisper in his ear, “No getting cold feet now, my star.”

Oh this was so, so unfair!

“Cold feet? I-It’s not my wedding,” He managed to say.

“Hmm… In that case I can trust you won’t run away again?”

Tsukasa cringed at the reminder of his dramatic exit from the other night and lamented over the fact that this conversation wasn’t private between the two of them but Rui didn’t let him stew in his misery a second longer. As he pulled the star forward, he was greeted by loud gasps and excited greetings as people Tsukasa’s hadn't seen in years approached him.

“Tsukasa!” 

“S-Shizuku!” Tsukasa was in awe at how much prettier the idol seemed to have gotten. He remembered their childhood playdates where the two of them would hang out while their younger siblings did.

The idol charged forward and hugged him. “We’re family now! Isn’t that wonderful!”

Tsukasa had completely forgotten that that was how this worked. He smiled at Shizuku before her girlfriend, Airi, stole her attention back.

Before he could mourn the loss of a friend, Ichika and Honami were there, asking how he was doing and expressing their relief that he was able to make it for Saki’s special day. Then it was Mafuyu and Kanade, with Mafuyu in particular staring deep into his soul. 

Then it was Mizuki and Ena, who were in dresses that complimented one another in a way that instantly reminded Tsukasa of his and Rui’s matching flowers. There was no way that was intentional, right? Tsukasa’s head was spinning with all of the attention he was receiving. It’s not like he wasn’t accustomed to being overwhelmed by fans, but it felt very different when it was from people he truly cared about.

“Tsukasa! It’s been so long,” Mizuki immediately started playing with Tsukasa’s hair, happily admiring the pink tips that he had refused to bleach - feeling like it was his only way of spiteing Heather now. “You owe me a dance, okay?”

“H-Huh?” 

Ena rolled her eyes. “Save yourself, Tsukasa. She’ll just step on your toes. Speaking from experience here.”

“Wh- As if you don’t step on mine too, Enanan!”

“Yeah well you’re taller so it hurts more,”

“Sounds to me like you’re just bitter that you’re short.”

“Oh you little -”

They fell into what seemed like a familiar squabble that Tsukasa was almost mesmerised by. It was so domestic, so playful. It was only at the sound of a light giggle that Tsukasa was pulled out of his daydream. He turned to realise that Rui had dutifully stayed by his side the entire time, and was an oddly comforting presence.

Tsukasa was used to Heather shadowing him, monitoring and policing everything he said and did, but Rui just stood there supporting him.

Right. That’s what real friends did. 

It was strange trying to remind himself of that, but Rui was patient and just quietly asked if Tsukasa was ready to go inside the reception hall.

He nodded, following behind as Rui brought him in. The venue was beautiful - filled with flowers and starry motifs. Tsukasa couldn’t hold back the smile when he could see all the hints of Saki and Shiho embedded in every decoration or wedding design.

It really clicked with him then - his little sister was marrying the love of her life.

A deep sadness washed over him. Why did he always do this? Saki’s happiness should be his number one priority, and yet it felt him with a feeling of longing. 

Would Heather ever allow Tsukasa to date…? He knew that a big part of his appeal was that he was attractive to girls, that him being single was crucial to maintaining their interest in him. He was supposed to be the sweet, soft-spoken boy next door type, the kind of person you’d bring home to meet your parents. While that was the role he was supposed to play, he wasn’t allowed to do any of that in reality.

Sure, Heather had fabricated some “romance scandals” in the past with Tsukasa’s old co-stars, stirring up drama and love triangles that most certainly did not exist.

Tsukasa never did tell Heather he was gay. It’s not like she was homophobic, but he knew that with girls being his target audience he’d have to at least pretend to be bi. Or maybe she’d push him into some kind of stereotypical relationship to keep appealing to his audience.

That’s all assuming Heather would ever approve of any kind of relationship at all. 

Maybe she would’ve considered it before, but with how furious she was at Tsukasa now, he doubted she’d be willing to hear him out.

Was he doomed to be alone until Heather decreed it to be the optimal time for him to enter a relationship? Would it even be real, or would he never be allowed to stop acting?

He felt a soft gloved hand rest on his shoulder. Tsukasa snapped out of his depressing thoughts to look up at Rui, who was watching him with an unreadable expression.

Tsukasa, in a moment of true self-hatred, wondered if Rui had someone. Surely he did, being as attractive as he was and such an amazing person to be around.

“Tsukasa?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

He just nodded, that’s how you were supposed to answer those kinds of questions.

“Okay, let me rephrase that,” Rui amended. “Tsukasa, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Oh. Tsukasa could write lists upon lists of all the things that were wrong. But he knew that Rui’s words were carefully chosen, and he knew someone was listening, so Tsukasa just took a deep breath and quickly said.

“No, I can’t.”

Nene and Emu were watching the scene carefully from where they hid behind deliberately placed potted plants.

Nene had to admit this was by far the strangest “wedding” she had ever attended, but it was worth it to see how excited Emu got over being not just allowed - but encouraged to spy on other guests.

She had seen Tsukasa the other night and been uncomfortable by his new demeanor, but it really was even more unsettling. The way he spoke was unnatural and there was a sadness in his eyes that she once recognised in her own. 

It didn’t belong there, they were going to help that idiot.

Nene knew from experience that overcoming anxiety was… not easy. It was a long and painful process for her, one that had even involved her snapping and taking out her frustration on Emu, who miraculously always stayed calm and by Nene’s side.

Figuring out how to break out of her shell while also figuring out who she wanted to be was undoubtedly one of the hardest challenges the singer had ever taken on, but it was undeniably worth it now that she could stand proudly and sing on a stage without fear or hesitation.

She remembered all the ways Rui tried to help her, pushing her gently but never too far. He really had tried his best but it wasn’t until Emu showed up - an absolute ray of sunshine and excitement - and changed her perspective.

Rui would tell her that her anxiety was holding her back, and that if she could let it go she’d be so much happier. 

He was by no means wrong, but it made overcoming anxiety feel like it was some kind of obstacle that she needed to face. It felt so much more daunting, like a mountain she’d never be able to climb.

But Emu would just smile and show her what it could be like if she trusted herself more. Emu would paint a beautiful picture of a future that Nene could have, and Nene found herself wanting to fight for it.

So she did. No, not all of her anxieties were remedied and it was hardly a perfect solution, but it seemed that the first step to climbing that mountain really was just deciding that she was going to do it no matter what. 

So that’s what they needed to help Tsukasa do.

Admittedly he was the last person Nene ever thought would succumb to anxiety so deeply. The thing she used to admire about him the most was the fact that he was so unstoppable. He loved himself and strove everyday to become a person he could love even more. There was no limit to his capability, and he was always looking forward with stars in his eyes and a goal in mind.

Nene’s anxiety had been a thing she grew up with, she was well accustomed to it and had learned how to at least live with it. But Tsukasa? His was thrust upon him suddenly, conditioned and forced, taking the brightest light Nene had ever seen and dimming it into nearly nothing at all.

It scared her that something like that was even possible.

“Hrmm,” Emu grumbled under her breath as she peered through the unnecessary binoculars at their target. “He’s definitely scared of something, look at how he’s acting!”

Nene wondered if Emu was just watching too many movies but another glance at the star made her agree. His eyes would dart to his phone occasionally and it seemed like it would snap him into “correcting” his behaviour.

She pulled out her own phone, a theory on her mind as she did. “Len?”

The Vocaloid popped out as a small hologram, looking thrilled to be called upon. “What can I help you with?”

“Can you enter Tsukasa’s phone at all, see if there’s anything suspicious in there?”

He tilted his head in question but nodded anyway. “Of course I can!”

He flickered away for only a brief moment before returning appearing a bit more panicked. “It’s bugged- There’s someone listening on the other end! And it seems like all of his texts and calls are recorded, he has no privacy on there!”

“God,” Nene muttered. “No wonder he’s so paranoid.”

“How’re we supposed to talk to him if his agent is listening?” Emu said nervously. “He’ll be too scared to talk to us and she’ll know what we’re doing!”

“Emu. Do you think you can find a way to get his phone away from him?”

She gasped in joy. “Like a spy?!”

Nene giggled, rolling her eyes fondly. “Yeah, like a spy.”

Without another word Emu jumped up out of their hiding spot, pink hair bouncing with the movement, before she sprinted at Tsukasa at top speed, snatched his phone, and booked it out the door.

“Oh my god.” Nene said in tandem with Len as they watched Tsukasa’s panic, and Rui’s attempts at placating him. 

“Was that a good idea…?” Len asked uncertainly.

“Emu has never been one for subtlety,” Nene admitted. “Honestly this is on me for not remembering that.”

“Wh- Emu?!” Tsukasa watched as the bright pink blur sped away into a hallway reserved for the wedding party. Rui seemed equally shocked though there was a ghost of a smile in his expression that under normal circumstances, Tsukasa would’ve shared.

Heather was going to be so angry. Surely she’d think Tsukasa set this up on purpose!

“I-I need my phone back,” Tsukasa said, feeling his hands shaking from the stress. What did Heather mean by consequences earlier? Would she go after his family? She could make their lives hell if she wanted, and Tsukasa would be powerless to stop it. “Rui please I need my phone back-”

Rui’s hands hovered over Tsukasa’s arms, like he was unsure whether or not it’d be a good idea to touch him right now. Tsukasa himself wasn’t sure of what he wanted. No, that’s not true, he knew he wanted his phone back, he knew Heather would be furious at him. 

“Tsukasa, try to breathe, okay?” Rui seemed as though he were looking around for someone while he did his best to calm the hyperventilating star. “Everything’s going to be okay-”

“No you don’t understand it’s- It’s not-”

The world was spinning around him. Tsukasa suddenly felt the days of no sleep and the lack of food catching up to him. Was he supposed to chase down Emu? Wouldn’t that just cause even more of a scene?!

“Hey. Tsukasa,” A different voice said, soft and gentle. “You’re okay, why don’t we go sit somewhere quieter?”

He couldn’t get his eyes to focus, the stress eating him alive. All Tsukasa could do was nod, letting the soft hands grab onto him and slowly move him away from the reception hall, where other guests were watching him in horror.

When Tsukasa finally regained some sense, he realised he was in an entirely different room. It was small but that was oddly comforting. He was on a soft couch that he felt himself sinking into. The noise from outside was muted in here, the only sound a gentle hum from the vents.

“I’m sorry,” He managed to say hoarsely. He was about to elaborate on his apology when a glass of water was pressed against his lips. He gratefully drank it, not realising how dehydrated he had gotten. When the glass was emptied Tsukasa looked up to see that it was Nene who had been attending to him, his guilt increasing tenfold.

“Apology not accepted,” Nene said plainly. “Because there’s nothing to apologise for.”

“I made a scene,” Tsukasa argued weakly. “I haven’t been here for more than 10 minutes and I’ve already ruined Saki’s wedding.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, stupid.” Nene said fondly, the words holding no malice. “This isn’t even a wedding.”

Tsukasa furrowed his brows in confusion. “I don’t…”

“Tsukasa, do you remember when I used to get really bad stage fright?”

He didn’t want to remember that - he had been so cruel, yelling at Nene for something he couldn’t understand.

She took his silence for an answer. “For me, I was scared of messing up and ruining the show, I had no confidence in my abilities. Honestly, seeing how sure of yourself you were inspired me.”

Tsukasa tensed. “You were always annoyed by me,” He whispered. “I was obnoxious.”

Nene sighed, sitting down next to Tsukasa on the seat. “You weren’t. I was envious of your confidence, but it made me want to be confident too. All of you, Rui, and Emu, you made me want to be a better version of myself.”

“You were always good,” Tsukasa said, knowing his words were awkward. 

Nene rolled her eyes fondly. “Sure, but now I’m even better. I needed that push from people that cared about me, you were one of those people.”

Tsukasa stared at his lap, unable to make eye contact with Nene.

“Can you let us help you now?” Nene asked, a waver in her voice. “Will you let us try to help you the way you’ve always helped everyone else?”

“I can’t ask that of you,” Tsukasa’s voice cracked as he tried to reign in his emotions.

“Good thing you’re not asking then, right?” Nene teased lightly. “We’re offering, because we all love you. You know that, right?”

“I…” Tsukasa hesitated. “I know.”

He looked up to see that Nene looked absolutely devastated. “You really think we didn’t?”

“I don’t know what I think anymore,” Tsukasa confessed.

Nene nodded in understanding. “That’s okay, if you let us, we can figure it out together?”

Tsukasa smiled at her weakly. “I can’t. My flight is in less than 24 hours, I have to go back.”

“Do you want to go back?”

“...I have to.”

Nene worried the bottom of her lip, this confirmed the worst of their fears, that Tsukasa really and truly was trapped by his agency. 

“But you want to stay.” It wasn’t a question.

Tsukasa nodded pitifully. “I want… To see the shows at Phoenix wonderland, Saki’s concerts, Toya’s events. I don’t want to miss any weddings or milestones, I want- I want to be here.”

Nene knew that had to have been hard for Tsukasa to say. 

He looked up at her with a vulnerability she had never seen before. “Can you really help me…?”

Nene glanced at her phone, the screen lighting up with a message that just read: 

We got it.

She smiled at Tsukasa. “Yes. Can I show you how?”

At his hesitant nod, Nene pressed play.

He woke up with his head resting on someone’s lap. It was unreasonably comfy, he felt like he could drift off and sleep forever.

There was a small noise of discontent. “I see why everyone used to get so upset at me falling asleep all the time, can’t we wake him up?”

“No,” Said a fond but exasperated voice. “He’s been through a lot these past few days and he hasn’t been taking care of himself, he needs the rest.”

“But Kaito-” She whined. “Everyone’s so eager to see him!”

“Huh…?” Tsukasa opened his eyes blearily, looking up to see the warm and content face of Megurine Luka smiling down at him. 

He tilted his head to see Kaito, who was shaking his head. “Look what you did, now he’s awake.”

“Kaito…?” Tsukasa’s voice cracked as he lifted his head up, staring at the Vocaloid who he had last seen after he so cruelly dismissed him. 

“It’s really good to see you again, Tsukasa.”

With a sob he jumped up and hugged him tightly, as if afraid that he’d disappear if let go. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to- I never wanted to-!”

“It’s okay Tsukasa,” Kaito soothed. “I’m just glad you found your way back home.” 

The star choked out another sob, feeling much younger than he was. 

A frantic set of footsteps emerged from outside of the tent they seemed to be in. Panting excitedly was Emu, who was beaming.

“Is he awake?!”

Kaito laughed. “Yes, he just woke up.”

“Perfect timing! C’mon Tsukasa you gotta come see!” 

Tsukasa was generously held up by Kaito, who like a dutiful father was happily giving him a piggy-back ride through the Sekai. Maybe Tsukasa should’ve been embarrassed by the sudden childish treatment, but he was far too happy to see that Kaito still existed to protest.

Besides, he knew he was far too weak to keep up with Emu the way she was sprinting down pathways. 

Looking around, Tsukasa immediately knew that this wasn’t exactly his Sekai. It was similar and yet so different, with new structures and buildings, more of an emphasis on creating than performing. 

It was a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, Tsukasa was just grateful that he hadn’t permanently destroyed the most magical thing he had ever experienced in his life, but on the other he was frustrated and jealous that it seemed someone else got his Sekai instead. Like it was a toy that got handed over to someone else because he stopped playing with it.

Luka was trailing behind, and a quick glance told Tsukasa that Meiko and Rin were there too. 

He almost closed his eyes to revel in the moment, but he was abruptly alerted by the sounds of frantic speaking in whatever room they had just entered. It looked almost identical to Rui’s old workshop, and inside was Nene, Rui, and…

Saki and Toya?

“Wha…?”

“Tsukasa,” Rui’s voice was breathy and relieved as he held up a stack of paper in glee. “We found your contract!”

Kaito let Tsukasa slide off his back before he staggered over to Rui, taking the contract and looking at it in terror. It was strange how a few pieces of paper absolutely ruled over his life.

“How did you…?”

“It wasn’t hard getting into Heather’s laptop!” Miku said cheerfully, looking very proud of herself. “We got all of your legal documents!”

Tsukasa felt like he should’ve been more worried about that.

“Big brother,” Toya said softly. “You were taken advantage of - This contract is extremely predatory, there are clauses here that would’ve been spotted by a good lawyer.”

“What?” Was all Tsukasa managed to say as his friends surrounded him. “I don’t…”

“We’ve found, like, a bajillion suspicious things on her laptop too!” Emu added. “Her messages with your nutritionist confirm that she’s been knowingly underfeeding you!”

Something about how openly Emu said that made Tsukasa feel uncomfortably exposed, but he held back his words at the budding feeling of hope.

“On top of abusive behaviour and insane demands, we’ve found out that her agency has been doing this to child stars for a long time now.” Rui continued. “We have enough information here to destroy her entire agency forever.”

“Since we acquired this information illegally we can’t go to a lawyer, but I think we can persuade her to free you from your contract anyway if we use all of this as blackmail,” Nene explained, noticing Tsukasa’s distant expression. “You’re going to be free again, Tsukasa.”

“I don’t- but- I…” Tsukasa was at a complete loss for words. In a small voice he finally said, “Are you sure? T-This will work?”

“We’ll make it work,” Saki insisted, a fire in her eyes. “We won’t let them get away with this.”

Tsukasa choked out a sob, hand flying to his mouth immediately as the overwhelming onslaught of emotions rushed through him. His head was spinning more than ever, he felt like he’d throw up from both the excitement and anxiety and-”

“Saki! What’re you doing here?!” Tsukasa stammered. “Y-You’re supposed to be getting married?!”

Saki just laughed. “Oh yeah! Don’t worry about that, we rescheduled the wedding for next week. Tonight was just to lure you here.”

“I… Huh?”

“Confession, me and Shiho have been married for months,” Saki said, a little sheepish. “So this is really just a party to celebrate, y’know? Everyone who was invited knows you and cares about you, so they’re perfectly fine with waiting a bit for the real party to begin once you’re back.”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Tsukasa admitted, overwhelmed, to which Kaito gently rubbed his back.

“You won’t here, but you really should eat something, Tsukasa. I can’t imagine the stress your body’s been put under.”

“I just… I think I’m having a hard time believing this.”

Rui smiled warmly and held onto Tsukasa’s hand, his thumb brushing against his knuckles. “Take all the time you need to process it.”

Tsukasa frowned, head turned down. “I feel like I failed at this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I-I was supposed to save myself, wasn’t I? In the end, I-I couldn’t do anything. You all had to save me. I really am broken.”

Rui’s grip tightened. “No. There is nothing broken about you, Tsukasa.”

“There is!” He cried out, pushing away to hug his own arms. “T-The old me would’ve figured this out by myself! You went through all this effort to free me from my contract but… But I can’t even be the person you want! I can’t be the Great Tsukasa Tenma anymore!”

To his confusion, Rui just walked forward and hugged Tsukasa tightly, holding him close. “We don’t want the old Tsukasa, we just want you. When are you going to finally accept that?”

“There’s nothing shameful about needing help,” Toya insisted. “You were trapped in a precarious situation, there really was nothing you could’ve done.”

“It’s okay if you don’t believe that yet,” Nene added. “We can keep reminding you until you do.”

“And it’s okay if you’re never the same you from before!” Emu said, a serious expression on her face. “You’re gonna be the person you wanna be! And we’ll all be here to help you!”

“You can’t get rid of us, big brother,” Saki said, voice dripping with emotion. “You spent our entire childhood dedicating yourself to my happiness, let me return the favour?”

Tsukasa, for the first time, didn’t feel the need to cry. He opened his arms nervously and was immediately crushed into by snaking arms and teary eyes. As his friends and family held on to him like a lifeline, Tsukasa let himself put down the script. 

He was done acting.

“Rui! Did you steal my socks again?” Tsukasa whined as he dug around his pile of clothes. “You have your own!”

Rui just laughed from where he sat over at his desk, fiddling away at his latest creation. “My apologies, all of mine are a bit too colourful for an occasion such as this.”

Tsukasa groaned. “It’s not like anyone would see them under your pants and shoes anyway!”

“Then there should be no problem with you wearing them,” Rui teased back, chuckling at Tsukasa’s noise of frustration. 

Things had changed a lot since that day.

Tsukasa had shakily called back Heather, surrounded by his friends and family, and listed his demands - to be freed from his contract without consequence, and paid out the money he was owed.

Rui had sat there the entire call, holding Tsukasa’s hand tightly to steady him, watching as Tsukasa mustered up all of the resolve he could. Everyone else had offered to make the call in his place if Tsukasa wasn’t ready, but he insisted, wanting to make sure he was taking charge of his own life again.

It had made Rui unexplainably happy to hear that.

After that Saki and Shiho finally had their real-fake wedding - one where Tsukasa got to stand next to Toya as best man. Seeing the light return to his eyes during Tsukasa’s speech almost made Rui tear up, mind betraying him and imagining what it would’ve been like had they not been able to save Tsukasa in time.

He refused to let himself think like that any further.

Tsukasa’s recovery was slow and admittedly painful.

He had to relearn how to exist on his own, how to make his own decisions and take responsibility for his own life. 

It was difficult watching Tsukasa get sick over the foods he wanted to finally eat again after years of a terrible diet, and it was even more difficult watching him sob over feeling so abnormal.

Despite that, it was worth all of the struggle to watch Tsukasa contentedly eat ice cream again without obsessively checking the calories and guilting himself over it. 

His hair was growing out, the bleached blonde fading and making way for his natural sunset locks. Colour was returning to his face, along with splashes of freckles and blush that had been covered with makeup for far too long. 

His wardrobe slowly shifted back to colour, bright obnoxious patterns and unique designs. 

Slowly but surely, Tsukasa was figuring himself out again.

Saki and Shiho insisted that Tsukasa was free to move in with them - to Tsukasa’s childhood home. Their parents had long since moved away, leaving the house for their kids, and now for the newlyweds. 

Tsukasa’s old room sat there waiting for him, but he found himself unable to accept the offer. The last thing he wanted was to intrude on his sister’s new life with Shiho, he refused to become a burden to them.

Still, the star had been nervous at the idea of living alone. He had spent far too much of his life by himself and dreaded the idea of spending even more of it like that.

But that was until Rui insisted Tsukasa move in with him.

Afterall, Rui’s home was massive and mostly neglected for how often Rui crashed with Mizuki and Ena. There was plenty of space for Tsukasa, and selfishly, Rui was excited to be with his best friend again.

(Though it wasn’t lost on him how romantic it felt to live together. All of those domestic scenes he had been so envious of with Ena and Mizuki were suddenly taking place with him and Tsukasa. He could never complain about it, though. The two of them had lots of time to make up for).

Adjusting Tsukasa back into performing had been the most difficult part of his recovery. 

The Wonder stage brought back happy memories but also deep-rooted anxieties for him. For years he was told he should regret these moments he spent as a teen, and that they were something to be ashamed of. It wasn’t easy rewiring his head to forget that harmful narrative that she-who-shall-not-be-named pushed.

And that was another thing. 

Heather had attempted to come after Tsukasa for breaching his contract, prepared to destroy him until Shiho asked a favour from her older sister.

Shizuku and the rest of More More Jump happily exposed the cruelty taking place in Heather’s agency online, shaming the agent back into silence. She wouldn’t truly be getting the punishment that Rui felt she deserved, but it was enough to know that there was nothing she could do to Tsukasa anymore. All of his fans were furious to hear of how he was treated, and instantly rose to his defense.

Nene and Emu had practically dropped everything to stay with Tsukasa for the first few months of his return to freedom. Rui’s home essentially turned into a WonderlandsXShowtime hideout, and it was magical to be with his closest friends all together again.

The Wonderland Sekai had changed permanently along with Tsukasa and Rui. 

Now that it was a shared Sekai, it was constantly evolving to grow with them and Tsukasa’s ever-growing desire to perform and create again. The Vocaloids returned, though not exactly the same as they once were. Tsukasa still felt guilt for how he had yelled at, and consequently deleted Kaito, and had a hard time convincing himself that it was okay now.

Saki and Toya were permanent additions too - though they admitted to being more comfortable in their own Sekais. Tsukasa had supposedly been invited to theirs, and though Rui desperately wanted to see them out of pure curiosity, he accepted that he’d have to wait until he was a bit closer with the two Tenma’s first.

Saki and Tsukasa spent days exploring the rebuilt Sekai, with tears being shed at the sight of the plushies that never lost hope that their owners would return to play with them again. 

He was healing. Everyone was.

And that led them to where they were now - getting ready for another wedding.

“Rui don’t tell me you took my tie too!”

“Have you checked in the closet?”

“Wh- Of course I did! Don’t insult my intelligence- Oh. No you were right it’s here.”

Rui snickered, turning from his work to see Tsukasa frantically wrapping the tie around his collar, fiddling with it in the mirror. His tongue stuck out a little in concentration and it made Rui want to melt with how innocently adorable it was.

It was also so relieving to see that Tsukasa could look in mirrors without flinching anymore. 

“You look really nice, Tsukasa,” Rui said, sincerity dripping off his words.

“I-I… Uh, thank you,” Tsukasa stammered out, flustering as he turned away to hide his blush.

There was still some work to be done on his self-esteem, but Rui had hope that with time Tsukasa would remember what it was like to love himself. 

“ You-look-really-nice-too. ” Tsukasa rushed out quickly, as if trying to hide the words. Rui couldn’t help but smile, Tsukasa’s compliments always seemed to mean just a little bit more to him than anyone else's.

“W-We should go,” Tsukasa said, fixing Rui’s collar and examining his outfit to ensure everything was in order. “I’m sure Ena will murder you if you’re late.”

“Mizuki wouldn’t let her,” Rui said dismissively. “...I think.”

Tsukasa snorted - no longer forcing his laugh to sound attractive and appealing - as he raised a brow at Rui. “I don’t know, you’ve seen how weak Mizuki is for Ena. If she asked, she would probably do the murdering.”

Rui sighed dramatically. “Oh, woe is me, my best friend has forsaken me for love.”

Tsukasa rolled his eyes fondly, dragging Rui out of their room and downstairs. “I suppose this means that I get her place as your best friend, then?”

“Hmm,” Rui paused to think. “Nah.”

Before Tsukasa could finish his indigent squawk, Rui continued. “I think we both know that we’re something more than friends.”

“R-Roommates?” Tsukasa asked quietly.

With another laugh, Rui shook his head. “A little bit more.”

“What is it then?” Rui kept laughing as he toed on his shoes and walked past Tsukasa out to their car. “Wh- Rui! You can’t just leave me hanging like that? What are we?! Rui?!”