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Pepper flutter her eyes open. staring at the ceiling with deep thoughts. she just slept for two hours and pepper felt like shit more than she usually do.
Its been a month since then and pepper still felt all her life drain from her. her only precious daughter was the only one anchoring her in this desperate miserable state of mind. but she too was a mess and pepper doesn't know what to do.
her lips wobble as she felt the empty bed, her shaking hands reach out from that familiar warmth. "ｲony" she choke, feeling the spit clog to her already tightening throat. her eyes glaze as tears never fell for it never came, but she already know her tear sac had already empty from this pass month crying her eyes alone in this empty room.
she aches for him, she misses him.
why would the universe took him away?
He sacrifice himself Enough, why would they take his life away too?
"mommy?"
pepper took a sharp breathe, immediately wipe her tears away and look up blink rapidly to see her daughter; Morgan, peering at the side of the door looking at her with that familiar huge brown eyes. her heartstring tug, as those eyes came from Tony.
it sometimes hard to look at her. but it seems her daughter was like tony after all. smart for her own age for see saw what pains her mother, she avoid her gaze looking down at the floor as her hand clench tightly on the door frame and at that, it took pepper into guilt, pain and shame.
"Oh sweetie" she tried to calm her and reassured her daughter's jumble thoughts like Tony did. she will not, in her whole life will let Morgan experience what Tony experience when he was a child. "Why are you up so late?" she smile softly and lovingly to show that she cares for her like stars to the night.
thankfully Morgan look up, eyes shimmer with that familiar look of awe and love. Peppers heart swell and vanish some of the pain coming from losing tony. "i cant sleep, can i stay with you?" her voice small and meek, she look up her before laying her eyes on the ground once again feeling bashful.
pepper smiled softy, 'Finally' she whispered longingly, oh she wanted for her to stay on the bed and sleep properly, after all... ever since Morgan heard that her father is never coming back she... retaliate.
"no daddy would come home!, Daddy promise that he will tuck me in!"
She sleep on her own bed waiting... waiting for tony to come home and kiss her head, read her books and tuck her in to sleep... she rarely slept to peppers and the family's horror. she yelled that she wont sleep if tony had not return home.
seeing how the bugs on her eyes that no child should have, pepper felt as a mother she had failed. "Yeah... yeah, come with mommy" patting the bed to implicate it more. she will thank Peter, it seems talking to her did something for Morgan to finally slept with her.
Pepper scoot over and let Morgan small form tottered over and grab the blanket pulling her small self up, it was adorable, her heart thunder to her chest and Morgan finally huge her properly this past few days. Pepper embrace her tightly to her arms. both laying on the bed with thoughts of only each other.
Pepper felt Morgan buried herself hands ball to a fist of her shirt. "Mommy" she called and pepper hummed.
"i miss dad𝒹𝓎"
and that took her apart. Pepper buried herself on Morgan's hair, both body shaking and both were crying, sniffing at the lost of the wonderful man who change Their life. Thoughts of "IF" run their minds as anger and lost, despair shook their core.
pepper long for the peace and love and joy that man bring to this life. but it was gone and pepper wasn't sure how life will turn out until her last dying breath.
she stuttered "𝒟-daddy misses you too..." because it was true, no one misses such life than tony ever did.
The Universe may lost a hero.
but for them? they lost the joy that brings in their life.
•⊰✾⊱•••⊰✾⊱•
"part of the Journey is the end" pepper sat there with her family, staring at the last recording of tony for them. Her, Happy, Rhodes, Morgan, peter, Harley nebula the avengers, and few more.
she stared at him, taking the last look of her husband who voice now held tender as the video goes on. "who am i tripping for? everything is gonna work up exactly the way it supposed to..." he walk out and as if he was here, staring at their own daughter with words that caught to her throat.
"i love you 3000"
the longing turn into love for she and her daughter were the only one could know what that meaning was. she could only smile as she hold morgan tightly who return her the same, burrying her face on peppers side. she heard a cute soft "love you 3000 more" and it took all her will power not to cry here and there.
she stare at tony heart floating on the lake. some already left with their respect but pepper never left her spot at the dock. eyes still stayed on the floating heart.
She sometimes wonder if everything is worth it. as she look at Peter holding morgans hand near Nebula maybe it was. but... she never thought it will cost this much.
"Virginia stark"
pepper blink, feeling the on going reply of condolence almost a bore to her. she look behind her shoulders to see Doctor Stephen strange. the sorcerer supreme and Wong former leader (seeing Wong become the sorcerer supreme) the man was sporting the norm of black suit, pristine and drafted on his body like a second skin.
Hes attractive if pepper cared a little, and those eyes...
there's something in those frosty silver blue eyes that pepper cared little for its meaning.
"Mr. Strange" she called. the man look up startled in shock. "you've heard about me?" he ask. pepper hum looking at the lake once more. "from Wong" she continued, feeling Dr Strange stand besides her at the doc.
"and Tony has many things said about you" about how he sacrifice the stone when he saw the alternate universe on where they won and words saying 'Theres no other way' so she knows. it doesn't take a genius for someone to know he knew.
Mr strange knew that tony is about to die.
his voice give off... a unsettled understanding "Oh, i see..." pepper stare at the man. hands on his pocket as he too stared at the heart floating on the lake. there's something in that look that made pepper frown in confusion. never the less she wouldn't blame the man, he after all was saving the universe at the cost of the a man he barely knew. its his duty as a sorcerer supreme.
"Thank you for attending" she tried to finish this conversation, not wanting to dwell too much on what if and hate and blame.
"No" she look confuse at the sudden sharp voice, it seems it showed on her face.
He frown giving a barely sigh of apology "i mean..." He sigh once again a hand to his nape. "why am i not good at this?" he whispered, it intended for her not to hear but pepper had been train to read ones lips so she understand what he had said. such action felt a little to familiar.
the man took a deep breathe. eyes closed as if he was taking a huge amount of strength "i want to apologized" now his eyes who once held concern now filled with conviction. and that settle a calm gratitude on her heart.
he did not mean what he did at the titan planet. what his actions did? it affected him way too much.
"if it weren't for me-!"
"i know" she understands completely. the man eyes widen in shock, pepper gave a smile of conviction and appreciation. "i know" the mans lips gape at shock or wonder? pepper couldn't pick which is which.
she gaze once again at the lake "i know you dont have a choice, its either the world or tony stark" her eyes closed as she took a deep breathe before fluttering her eyes open. "and you choose to sacrifice tony because that is your duty to protect the universe"
the man shook his head. "if there's any other way i would pick that future " pepper hum, she knows the millions of future. Tony told her when she ask what happened at titan the day of the snap, then after he found a way to go to the past when she fear about his safety, their Childs safety if he indeed go back to the past,.
"i know Mr strange" she settled with a nod. she look at him "i heard it from my Husband" she saw him wince. his eyes now held guilt, his stance felt small almost balling into himself.
she knows what the toll of the future of the worlds lays your hands, because tony had experience that. she saw how that makes someone.
she also knows a doctors dilemma, for a doctor to sacrifice a life for another life. she understand, she truly do know how he was experiencing. because if she was in his shoe, would she choose her world? or to a stranger? she already made her mind.
but it still hurts. "you did everything you could" she laid her hand on his shoulders. and the sharp words that come from his mouth startled her.
"but its not enough"
Her eyes widen, it shimmer at the sun in the sky, her eyes rack and analyze the man before her. her mouth agape before nodding understandingly.
It seems Tony had made someone fall for him once again. this time from a man she never, but should expect. because that's the face of a man whos in love, and that's the face every time pepper saw herself on a reflection every time she saw tony.
his eyes shut tight, frown on his face, lips wobble, scrunch grimace. but once those beautiful frosty silver blue eyes fluttered open. 'ah..' she understands now why his eyes bugs her way too much.
its shows with deep yearning and grief.
He was blaming himself.
Sacrificing the one you love will take a toll on someone. the way strange never shift his gaze on tony heart floating on that lake, the way his eyes glaze and throat gulp ever now and then. trying not to cry in front of the man he fell in love in front of his wife and kids.
she never felt jealous nor even anger, she just felt the understanding.
its hard not to adore tony stark. you will love the man if you truly know him. and Stephen strange saw the alternate future millions of times, enough for the man to know who tony stark truly is.
and He fell in love, like any other who did.
and tony?
he was blind to it, for he did not know what love truly is, not until years had gone by, pepper showing him what love and how to love and be love.
She did not say a word. she let the man bask the sun besides her. letting the silence speak for themselves.
two souls fell madly in love with a lone soul who deserves the world, as such... the world took him and left nothing but memories behind.