Chapter Text
The one thing Charlie knew for certain was that he was worth less than everyone else. It was one of those things that had been drilled into his head since childhood – he was simply not as important as the others. That knowledge shouldn’t have hurt when it came from Tony, but a young boy desperate for validation and praise can easily be shattered and Charlie had been no exception. His parents hadn’t been much better, though his memories of them were sporadic and fleeting filled more with flashes and emotions rather than full stories. Yelling, pain, fear. The feeling always stuck with him.
He had only been eight when Tony ‘adopted’ him, absolutely sure that Charlie was special like all the others – easily taking custody of the child for a rather small sum of money. Except he wasn’t. No matter how hard he tried, nothing changed. No matter how many tears he shed after dark, or how much he tried to force himself to be special.
“If he doesn’t show any signs soon, throw him out,” Tony growled, reeling his hand back from the slap he had given ten-year-old Charlie, “Try everything – chains, whips, high voltage –”
“He’s a child…”
“And he was expensive! Take a baseball bat to his head and see if something clicks, I don’t care – he is useless to me and a complete waste of money otherwise,”
“Yes, sir,”
“Good,” Tony turned once again, towering over the frail-looking child, “Charlie, up against the wall. Lee, hand me the bit of chain. Let’s see if this brings out anything in you,”
By eleven, Charlie knew he had a power – a handful that he had slowly gained through various painful encounters, though all of them were small in comparison to the others living at Tony’s, partial absorption – half useful – but he was still deemed too worthless to be kept.
The streets hadn’t been much better, but the pain was less consistent. He had almost shared those years with Babe, when the older brought up his father, but thought better of it. Babe didn’t need nor want to know about Charlie’s pathetic childhood. It wasn’t important anyway.
“What are you thinking about, Charlie?” Jeff hovered by the counter in their small apartment, one hand haphazardly holding a steaming kettle and the other balancing two cup-of-noodles, “You’ve been quiet,”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be, just thinking,” he’d found Jeff at the age of thirteen, and strategically helped the younger escape. He’d fought for their existence ever since, with general success – if you can call freedom and a rundown apartment successful, “You have a good day at the garage?”
“Mhmm,” Jeff moved again, handing off the dried noodles to Charlie while he poured, “Babe talks about you –”
“No, he does not,” Charlie couldn’t help but roll his eyes ever so slightly. Thinking about Babe made his gut flutter anxiously, “Babe focuses on racing at the garage,”
Jeff gave a disagreeing hum as he placed the kettle back in the small kitchen, “you are a part of the racing now, though. Babe’s Boy,”
“Shut up!” Charlie swatted playfully. He was Babe’s Boy – he was going to be Babe’s everything if he could manage. Babe deserved everything that Charlie could offer and so much more.
“You love him,”
“Yeah…” he wrapped his hands around the warm Styrofoam, “a whole lot,”
Their upstairs neighbor turned on the television and the sound of some American Western pierced through the thin floorboards and broke the comfortable silence with gunshots and shouts.
Charlie loved Babe so much it hurt. He wasn’t sure exactly how or why – maybe that was normal. Feeling pain when you’re apart from someone you care about, when they are hurting, when they are in danger.
“He does talk about you though,” Jeff continued on unbothered. It had taken years for him to warm up and trust Charlie fully, but they had long since become true brothers, “especially after his crash a couple of months ago – he keeps insisting Alan adds more safety features to the cars. Yours mostly,”
“He’s the one that needs protecting – he’s the one in danger – Alan should add those features to Babe’s car,” he squeezed the cup gently. The noodles were almost ready, “especially since I stole his senses…”
“You didn’t do that intentionally,”
“No, but I still did,” Charlie sighed and leaned back to look up at the ceiling – it was covered in small water stains, “He’s less of a target, maybe… but also in more danger now…”
“He isn’t mad at you. You said he forgave you,” there was a questioning tone, but Jeff didn’t linger and started to eat his noodles while he waited for a response.
“I told him I could give him them back if he asked –”
Bits of soup splattered across the tabletop as Jeff lost his grip and the half-full cup bounced against the hard surface, thankfully landing on its bottom, “You can’t give them back! That requires – you can’t just offer something like that Charlie! Things don’t work that way – he didn’t – he wouldn’t –”
“He told me not to even think that way,”
“Good,” Jeff used his sleeve to dry up the soup, “you shouldn’t. I – why did you even say that…”
“If he’d asked, I would have done it,” Charlie stated sincerely, stirring his noodles, “I want him safe, but I also don’t want to hurt him,”
“You offered to kill yourself for him?”
Hearing the appalled edge to Jeff’s question, Charlie looked up away from his soup towards his brother. Frowning at the pale sheen that had overtaken his features, “Are you alright? Did you see something?”
“Why would you say that to him?”
“What? To Babe? Because he deserved to know that I could return them,” Charlie responded, confused, “What’s important is his safety and comfort. Why wouldn’t I offer that to him?”
“Because he loves you!” Jeff bit back, more forceful than his normal responses – angry, “Because you’re important,”
**~~**~~**
“Charlie!”
He could hear Babe’s voice, it sounded distraught and distant, but Charlie couldn’t figure out why. They’d been safe, hadn’t they? At the track for a race — had Way shown up again? Who was protecting Babe? Could Tony have tried something else – did Babe need his help?
“Charlie! Charlie… here! He needs an ambulance! Charlie — He’s not conscious. Charlie —“
An ambulance? Why was Babe so frantic? Had Babe crashed? Was he hurt?
Desperate to know, Charlie tried to pull himself into consciousness but was quickly assaulted with blinding pain like a bomb had been detonated inside of his chest and head. He couldn’t breathe well, something was making it a challenge like trying to fill a balloon under water — his left leg was numb, and his right thumped with his heart, but the pain was dull compared to his chest.
“Charlie? Charlie! Please, hurry! Hurry!”
He could feel Babe’s hands if he really tried to focus. Warm, soft touches, cradling his head, “‘abe…” he wasn’t even sure if the word left his throat.
“Move aside,”
“No! No, I can’t —“
Charlie couldn’t open his eyes; he couldn’t get them to work at all.
“You can ride in the ambulance with us, but if you don’t move aside, he will die,”
“No… he can’t… Charlie…”
As Babe’s hand slid away from Charlie’s face, a surge of panic erupted and flooded him with a level of fear he’d never experienced before. However, it was quickly followed by excruciating pain.
“I need a c-collar and oxygen. He's got a serious head injury is apparent we need to be careful of his neck, his pulse is slow and fading — bring the crash cart! He has clear damage to his chest and abdomen,”
“Charlie…”
Awareness came in painful waves after that, but Charlie did his best to focus on Babe. He could hear him. Hear the thick strained tragic sounds that fell from his mouth. The horrific gasping breath indicated he was crying. And the begging…
“Charlie, stay with me,”
“I’m sorry I’m always so mean to you,”
“Don’t leave me…”
“I want to look after you, please let me look after you,”
“I love you… I love you… I’m sorry…”
The world tilted as the pain started to numb, then darkness.
“Babe, you have to eat something,” that was Alan’s voice wasn’t it, “I need you to eat something, please,”
“Not leaving him…”
“I’m not asking you to leave him. I’ll go and grab something for you and Jeff,”
Jeff was here too?
“I don’t want anything… not hungry,”
“Jeff, you have to eat. You’ve barely had anything in days,” Alan sounded more desperate now, “please, Charlie wouldn’t want you starving would he?”
There was a shift, like someone had been leaning on the mattress beneath Charlie and they pulled back taking their weight off the bed.
“Alan’s right,” Babe sounded raw and broken, “I can’t let his little brother waste away — go with Alan and bring food back, okay?”
“Babe will call if anything happens, but the doctor said he was stable —“
“The doctor said he was alive… they didn’t say stable…”
“Jeff…”
“Okay… don’t leave him, please,”
“I won’t…” the weight on the edge of the bed returned carefully, “but he can’t leave me either,” Babe horsely added several long beats later.
Focusing was challenging, and with Babe no longer speaking Charlie found it even more difficult. Except, he had to know why Babe sounded so broken, he had to know if Babe had been hurt. Had Tony done something? If that was the case, then why was Babe just sitting here? Why had Jeff been here with Alan? Shouldn’t they all be somewhere safe?
“Wait –“ Alan’s shout accompanied a door slamming open only a couple minutes later, “Jeff you can’t just –“
“It changed again!” Jeff was frantic and cold fingers suddenly laced through Charlie’s own, “it changed…” he repeated quietly.
“What? What do you see this time?” Babe’s voice broke harshly, “Does he still…”
“He wakes up! This is the first time I’ve seen him wake up!” Jeff’s hand shook, “He was awake… Charlie?”
He could feel Babe shaking on his other side as well. Was he the one hurt?
“Charlie,” Babe sobbed out the name painfully, “you have to come back to me now… you can’t lie to your brother…”
Babe shouldn’t be crying! There was no reason for Babe to be crying.
A wave of pain flooded through Charlie’s chest resulting in a pathetic sounding whimper.
“Charlie! Charlie, can you hear me?”
“’abe…” the name broke twice as it filled the space between Babe and Jeff, it was soft and fragile but real, “Ba…”
“Shh, don’t try and speak,” Babe’s warm hands started to lightly caress the edges of Charlie’s face as he brokenly added, “you’re okay… I’ll make sure…”
Jeff’s grip tightened as well, the tips of his fingers shaking anxiously, “pain? He’s in pain, Alan?”
“I’ll go grab the doctor,”
Opening his eyes was even harder than croaking out a piece of Babe’s name. His eyelids were heavy, and swollen it seemed, and the brightness of the room sent spikes through his temples, “’re you hurt?” The words were better formed, but still brittle and scratchy, “safe?”
Babe couldn’t answer, tears formed too quickly, and instead, he buried his head carefully into the edge of Charlie’s shoulder.
“You’re the one who crashed! You’re the one! You!” Jeff immediately scolded, clearly distressed, “you…”
That’s right, Jeff couldn’t tell who was in the car, but he knew the car number and Charlie had made sure he was the only driver. Except that vision had been months ago, they’d assumed that things had changed, “good…”
Babe snapped up, his eyes red and watering, “what? No, not good… no,”
“It’s good to see you awake, Charlie,” a doctor said as soon as the door opened, Alan following closely behind. Charlie could make out several other figures beyond the threshold, but without his glasses, their faces weren’t distinguishable, “Has he spoken at all?”
“Uh, yes,” Jeff said as he cleared his throat, pulling away so that the doctor could check Charlie without Babe having to move, he added, “he knows who we are,”
“That’s very good. Charlie, I’m going to shine a light into your eyes, alright? It’s going to be unpleasant, but with the severity of your concussion we need to continually monitor you,”
The man didn’t wait for a response and Charlie assumed the explanation was more for Babe, Alan, and Jeff rather than himself. Even with the warning, he couldn’t brace himself for the white-hot pain that tore into his brain the second the light entered his field of vision.
“I know, just a second,”
“Why is his heart rate spiking?” The sheer unease and fear that dripped from Babe’s words brought Charlie back to himself, “That’s not good, right? You’d said —“
“His heart rate is increasing due to the pain,” the doctor said smoothly putting his light away and carefully running his hands around Charlie’s neck — which was still held immobile with a brace, “it’s not ideal, but as soon as I’m done, I’ll up his pain medication and that will likely bring it back down,”
Through his blurry vision, Charlie could see that Babe wasn’t the only one distressed at the moment. Jeff also looked exceedingly exhausted and anxious, “Sorry…”
“What are you sorry for Charlie?” The doctor asked as he continued his examination.
“‘upposed to protect everyone,” he wasn’t sure why he was answering a stranger, or why Babe’s grasp had tightened, “my job,”
“Right now, your job is to recover,” the doctor pulled back, he was older than Charlie thought, “I’m going to increase your medication now. It’s going to sedate him again, so don’t be alarmed,”
“But he’ll be, okay?”
The doctor didn’t respond to Babe’s question immediately. After adding the additional dose and stepping back to the door he sighed, “The fact he woke up at all, is remarkable. You need to understand that, sir. Most people — the fact he recognized you,” the man nodded towards Jeff as well, “is also remarkable. But we won’t know his actual condition until he’s fully coherent. You understand that. I’m hopeful there’s no serious damage to the brain, but I need you all to be realistic. Charlie flatlined on three separate occasions — he could have memory problems, heart problems, lung problems, other neurological conditions — it’s going to be a while before we know,”
Charlie followed most of what the doctor was saying, but the blissful pull of unconsciousness was stronger than even his will.
**~~**~~**
“Do you remember the first time we tried to sneak into that Japanese restaurant to steal food? You’d forbid me from using my power, and ended up getting slapped by the chief,” Jeff’s soft ramblings pulled Charlie slowly out of the haze he’d been stuck in, “And I tried to stop her, but you kept getting in the way,”
“You guys were stealing?” Alan sounded closer, behind Jeff, “how old were you?”
“Huh, I don’t remember, I was probably thirteen maybe. Charlie was just about fifteen I think. I was hungry and we didn’t have any money. I guess he thought it was the best option,” Jeff paused to answer, “the lady ended up giving Charlie a bloody nose before relenting. She felt bad, gave us the day-old stuff, and shooed us out,”
“You were hungry?”
Charlie wondered just how long Jeff had been rambling. His usually quiet brother got like that when he was extremely anxious or trying to trigger a vision. Given that their hands were laced together, either was possible.
“Yeah,” Jeff sighed running his thumb against Charlie’s IV, “not as hungry as Charlie was though — he always made sure I got to eat. Not a day went by when he wouldn’t give up a meal for me back then. Does it now too, even though we don’t need to worry about it anymore. Habit I guess,”
“‘Cause you’re younger…” Charlie defended his previous actions softly, surprising even himself.
“Charlie!” Jeff’s voice was still quiet, but bright and hopeful.
Opening his eyes this time was much less painful, the room appeared different though it was still a hospital room. Jeff still looked exhausted, “Where’s Babe?”
“Relax,” Alan was the one who answered, he’d been beside Jeff rather than behind. He too looked a bit haggard, though mostly relieved, “I finally convinced him to sleep,” he tilted his head towards Charlie’s other side. Babe’s head was nestled into Charlie’s forearm, hand wrapped around Charlie’s bent over the bed half out of his chair, “he’s barely had any since your accident,”
His body was sluggish and the instant he tried to shift, pain shot through Charlie’s chest and torso, but he managed to prop himself up on his forearms.
“What are you doing!”
“Lay back down,” Alan instantly placed his hands on Charlie’s shoulders, forcing him back to the bed.
“Help me move,” Charlie panted, blinking back the stars that threatened his vision, “over so he can be on the bed,”
“Absolutely not,”
Clinching his eyes closed for a second and sucking air through his teeth to help counteract the pain, Charlie persisted quietly, “He’ll hurt when he wakes up if he stays like that,”
“Charlie, Babe will be fine,” Alan had yet to remove his hands, still carefully holding Charlie in place, “Yes, he’ll be sore, but he decided to sleep there – he’s completely exhausted any sleep will be helpful. Alright?”
“But,” he started to argue but stopped when Babe made a whimpering sound and burrowed in closer to Charlie’s side, “He should be comfortable…”
“You died,” Jeff cut in, clearly upset, “You have broken ribs, you had emergency surgery – just stop, and worry about yourself…”
“Jeff… I’m sorry I –”
“No, not that. I’m not mad at you, I just…” Jeff slumped forward as Alan finally moved back once he was sure Charlie wouldn’t try anything.
“How do you feel?”
Blinking up at Alan, who was slightly blurry at that distance, Charlie started to shrug but stopped just before the pain started, “I’m alright… no worse for wear I don’t think,” with effort, he reached across his body, and gently ran his fingers through Babe’s hair, “I remember some of it… Just glad it was me in that car,”
The room suddenly turned cold, “Jeff mentioned that you both knew that car would crash at some point,”
Charlie caught Jeff’s eyes briefly but said nothing. The younger man looked ridged, but not sorry.
“That you decided to be to sole driver of that car because of that, and you chose not to tell any of us because it would put people at risk,”
Jeff seldom shared details of his visions with people, and even Charlie rarely received more than the essential information. Yet, it was clear he’d shared significant details with Alan. That was something Charlie would store away to discuss with Jeff later.
“Telling people would change the outcome for the worse,” the pain had receded to a manageable level, but the conversation was making his head spin, “this was the best option,”
“You could have died,” Alan sounded furious, but even at this distance, Charlie could see mostly concern in his face, “Did you think of that? Had we known –”
“It doesn’t matter if I had died,” Charlie responded flatly, pausing as Babe shifted again. He was a strategist. That’s how he got Jeff out, that’s how they survived. Calculated risks – three-dimensional chess. Normally he won, but he was always ready for the inevitable checkmate, “what mattered was Babe’s safety – and Jeff’s – things shifted, and it was obvious that if we interfered more people would die. This was the best option,” he repeated unapologetically. His chest was starting to ache from all the talking and his dizziness was growing, however, this was not something he was backing down on.
Alan looked taken aback, unprepared for such a response, “what about your safety?” When he was met with silence, he continued, “Do you know why you crashed? Dean sabotaged your car,” there was absolute rage fighting to break free, “had we known to triple check, this might not have happened.”
Charlie looked towards Jeff, evaluating, “Worse would have. Right?”
Reluctantly, Jeff nodded, “but you dying is not a good solution.”
Babe made another noise of displeasure and Charlie shakily reached out again, “Is he sick? Normally he’d wake up by now…”
“I gave him something to help him sleep,” Alan sighed, clearly not content with the topic change, “he hadn’t been able to stay asleep longer than a half hour,”
Scowling, Charlie lowered his fingers from Babe’s hair to his forehead to check for a fever just in case, “you sure?”
“Am I sure that Babe needed sleep because he kept having horrific nightmares about your death?”
“He’d have overcome it,” Charlie countered quietly.
“Jeff, can you go tell the doctor that Charlie is awake and, maybe, grab something from the cafeteria first?”
Startled, Jeff stood and grabbed onto Charlie’s hand for a moment, “yeah… okay,”
“How often has he done that?”
“Done what?” Alan sat where Jeff had been sitting.
“Forced a vision? Don’t tell me you didn’t notice just now — he shouldn’t do that. It’s dangerous…”
“He had one on the way to the hospital. Your funeral,” he shifted on the seat, “he couldn’t keep that from Babe —“
“But —“
“So, we waited in the waiting room for the worst,” Alan continued, “have you ever seen someone so devastated that they can’t find the strength to stand?”
Feeling chastised, Charlie tried to shift but quickly stopped as it brought spikes of pain, “I don’t regret protecting the people I love,”
“Jeff managed to touch your hand as they wheeled you to emergency surgery and saw you flatline on the operating table —”
“Alan I —“
“So, when Babe’s senses came back, we knew because of how he reacted that you were gone,” sighing, he grabbed the extra blanket that had managed to slip mostly off Charlie and readjusted it, “he thought you were gone for almost an hour before the doctor came out to explain what had happened. Jeff has been forcing visions frequently since then —“
“He shouldn’t be —“
“Babe asked him to, and even if he hadn’t, do you really think your brother wouldn’t try to know what’s happening,”
“It’s dangerous…”
“Do you know what it’s like to watch a close friend give up? Because that’s what Babe was doing, he was giving up,” Alan paused, expecting another interruption but none came, “if he’d been the one in that car, then what? How’d of you felt?”
“That’s different!”
“How?”
Stained, exhausted, increasingly dizzy, and uncomfortable, Charlie found his normal filter absent, “because his life means something. To you, to the boys, fuck, to Way. Babe’s an icon. He has fans and friends — countless people who love and support him. He’s everything to me,” he tried to blink back against the wave of nausea that flooded through him, “I have two people who might care. Can’t you see that? Jeff — my brother in every way that counts. And Babe,” his voice broke, croaking dryly missing the growing look of sadness form on Alan’s face, “when I got Jeff out, I promised I’d do everything to protect him. When I met Babe, I promised the same thing. My life is worth less than theirs.” The conversation was starting to take its toll, “Everyone can see that, Alan. Why wouldn’t it be better this way?” He felt his face contort as a sharp pain pulsed through him, and his whole body jolted slightly despite how much he tried to prevent it, “shh, it’s okay,” he rasped out when Babe whimpered again, “besides… it all worked out,”
If Alan said anything in response, Charlie didn’t hear it. Instead, he slipped back into darkness.