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It had been a few months since Estelle was born, and Sally Jackson was, although filled with love for her daughter, exhausted to the brim. A newborn was a lot of work, and while Paul did his absolute best to help her as much as he could, she didn’t nearly get enough sleep. She loved her husband, she really did, and she was beyond grateful for his presence and every act of service he did for her.
And yet, Sally was tired and almost always fell asleep the instant her head hit the pillow. That wasn’t any different now that Percy was home. It was the first night that he had come home from New Rome, and Sally would have loved to stay up longer to talk with him and she could tell that her son felt the same way, but the visible exhaustion of travelling all that way took a toll on him, and he left to go to bed early, promising they’d catch up in the morning. Sally was looking forward to it. She had missed Percy a lot, and found his presence comforting.
While life had considerably calmed down for her son, she knew that trouble waited for him wherever he went. Despite not having been on a quest in a while—not after needing the letters from the gods to go to college—life was still dangerous for a demigod like him. Sally knew Percy had recently lost a dear friend. No matter how calm things seemed to get, danger was never fully absent.
But now that he was home, she could at least be there to help as much as she could, what with being a mortal and all. But she did have the sight, and Percy was known for not always spotting danger from afar, at least not until it was right in front of him. No matter how smart he was, he did have ADHD and lacked the skill of paying meticulous attention to the details around him. Sally loved him for it.
Everything was fine until about two or three hours after they had gone to sleep. Both Sally and Paul woke to a cry, thinking it was Estelle, before realising that the voice had been much lower, and very much not that of a baby. Percy. Sally and Paul shared a concerned look before Sally bolted out of bed, darting to her son’s room where the pained whine had come from.
Upon entering, Sally turned on the light, anxiety holding her lungs in a chokehold. Inside lay Percy, the covers of his bed all messed up, his face scrunched up in what Sally could only presume was pain and distress. A low moan escaped him as his eyebrows were scrunched up in stress, and he whipped his head to the side. “No, please…” he whined, his voice breaking. Sally’s heart shattered into a million pieces as she briskly strode over to her son’s side, cupping his face in her hands to ground him in reality, and to draw him back from whatever nightmare had invaded his dreams.
“Percy, I am here,” said Sally. “I’m here.” He didn’t seem to hear her, and he let out a cry of pain.
“Please… please,” he muttered, his eyes frantically darting around under his closed lids. “Don’t…please.”
“Perseus,” said Sally a bit louder this time. “You have to wake up, sweetie, you’re having a nightmare. Come back to me.”
“Mom,” Percy whined. “No, mom, not my mom, please.”
Sally grabbed him by his shoulders, shaking him awake. It didn’t seem to work at first, but the jostling did have the desired effect, and Percy’s eyes opened and closed a few times before they remained open, his eyes hectic and terrified, as if he was being chased.
Relief flooded through Sally as he was finally awake, but then he was gagging, sickness overwhelming him. Luckily, Paul was there, holding out a bucket to hold the contents of Percy’s stomach. Sally pet his back soothingly, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades until the retching subsided, and he shakily fell back into his bed.
“Mom,” he whined, a tear winding its path down his cheek.
“I’m here, sweetie. Hold fast,” said Sally, brushing a curl out of his face that was sticking to his forehead with all the sweat. Sally nodded towards Paul who understood immediately, leaving the room to get a cool towel and some water for Percy. Water always helped. “Percy. Hold fast,” Sally said again and again, hoping Percy’s breathing would slow down, only it seemed to speed up more and more. “I’m here.”
“Mom,” he groaned, turning towards her for support.
“I’m here, Percy,” said Sally. “I’m here. But you need to breathe for me.”
Percy let out a shaky exhale. “I’m trying, but, I…I can’t, mom.”
“Breathe with me, sweetie,” said Sally, lifting him off his back so she could hug him to her chest, embracing him tightly so he could feel that he was okay. “Breathe in,” she said, taking a deep breath in herself. She heard Percy replicate it—or at least try to—but it was still much too fast. He was shaking like a leaf against her, and Sally could feel the tears in her eyes. But she blinked them away, refusing to let them fall, because she had to be strong for her boy now. “Breathe out,” she said, exhaling audibly, so Percy could follow her lead.
“Mom,” said Percy again, and Sally was happy to feel that a bit of strength was returning to his arms, hugging her closer and tighter.
“You’re doing great,” said Sally. “Breathe in.” Percy did. They spent a few minutes like that, and Sally was satisfied that Percy was calming down considerably. There was one instant, a few minutes into breathing together, where it got a bit worse again, but they managed. They always did.
When Percy’s breathing returned back to normal, they kept sitting in silence a little bit, Percy still focusing on his breathing, keeping his eyes closed, his head leaning against Sally’s chest. She kissed the top of his head, frowning at how damp they were from sweating. “You’re okay,” said Sally. “You’re home, I’m right here. Paul is just down the hall. You’re okay.”
“Mom,” said Percy again, his voice breaking once more. Sally was hit with a pang of guilt—if she hadn’t loved Poseidon, she wouldn’t have a traumatised child. If she hadn’t loved Poseidon, she wouldn’t be hugging her son, telling him that he didn’t have to be afraid for his life. But if she hadn’t loved Poseidon, she wouldn’t have had Percy at all. Sally swallowed around the lump in her throat.
“Percy,” said Sally, keeping her tone calm and collected. “I’m right here.”
He let out a shaky exhale, and Sally waved Paul in. Paul, who was ever so understanding about the situation despite not seeing through the Mist. Paul, who was always by her side. Paul, who always had Percy’s back. Paul, who wasn’t afraid of Percy’s life. Paul, who carried so much love with him for both Sally and Percy. And now, Estelle, too.
Kneeling in front of him, Paul moved the bucket away so Percy wouldn’t have to see or smell his vomit. He held up a damp cloth. “May I?” he asked, and Percy nodded. Sally smiled at her husband as Paul held it against Percy’s forehead, gently wiping the sweat away. Percy visibly relaxed at the feeling, and he let out a sigh, much more at ease now that he was with his family, and he knew that there was no danger anywhere nearby.
Percy let out another shaky exhale, keeping his eyes closed as Sally continued to stroke his hair, petting his head, running her hand down the back of his neck in an attempt to ground him even more in a familiar touch. It worked, and Percy’s trembling subsided fast. Sally’s heart slowed down with relief.
“Do you want anything?” said Paul, putting away the cloth.
“Tea?” said Percy, his voice more stable now, albeit only one syllable that he uttered. Paul nodded and got up, taking the damp cloth and the bucket with him. Sally started moving to get up, aiming to open the window, but Percy’s hand shot out to grasp her at the arm, his grasp strong, his fingers digging into her skin.
“Stay,” he rasped, “please.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” said Sally, sitting back down, draping an arm around him to hug him closer. “I’m right here with you, Percy.”
“Mom,” said Percy again, for the millionth time that night.
“Percy,” said Sally, repeating his name with fervour and determination—she wouldn’t see her boy lose himself in a nightmare. She wouldn’t let him fall like that; she’d take his side, catch his fall, because that was what a good mother does. And Sally would be a damn good mother to Percy—he’d always deserved the world, even before he’d saved it twice. He deserved it even more so now.
They sat in silence for a while, Percy clearly trying to order his thoughts while Sally desperately tried to find the right words. She might be able to see through the Mist, but she found it difficult to start conversations like this, especially because she knew just how much Percy had kept from her, throughout all the years of going on quests, battling monsters, and seeing his friends die, while always almost dying himself. Gods, he had even seen Sally evaporate into thin air when he was twelve. Of course he’d have nightmares about everything.
Soon enough, Paul returned with the tea and handed it to Percy. As if reading Sally’s thoughts, he opened the window to let in some fresh air, and he gave them a nod. “I’ll be in the living room, if you need me.” He gave Sally a kiss before squeezing Percy’s shoulder. Sally gave him a smile when he closed the door, and she turned back to Percy who was looking away from her, determined to keep his gaze diverted, or so it seemed.
“I’m sorry,” he said, blinking heavily. Sally knew him well enough to know that he was trying not to cry, and most of all, he didn’t want her to see it.
“What for?” said Sally, wanting him to elaborate.
“I’m literally in college while Estelle is a few months old,” he said. “I should not be the one keeping you up.”
So it was guilt. “I’m the mother to both of you,” said Sally. “And I will get up for the both of you in the middle of the night, if you need me to.”
“But–”
“No buts,” said Sally. “You might be a hero, and you might have saved the world multiple times. But I am still your mom. So let me save you when you need saving.”
Percy couldn’t object to that. Instead, he swallowed heavily and wiped the tears away, hugging Sally even tighter. Sally held him close. They sat in silence for a while, before Sally started, “Do you want to talk about it?”
As expected, Percy shuddered violently at the question, clearly displeased with the idea of opening up. But to Sally’s surprise, he gave a nod. Sally hugged him closer to her and planted another kiss on his curls. “I’m all ear.”
“I just…I know I am safe now,” said Percy, trying to find the right wording. “Or at least as safe as a kid of the Big Three can possibly be.” He exhaled shakily. “But I keep having these nightmares. Sometimes they’re memories. Sometimes, they’re new scenarios of memories, and it makes me feel as if I am to endure the same thing again, but differently. And…and…”
“Breathe,” said Sally, reminding him to curb his rising panic before it was too late. Percy obliged.
“I don’t want to go through that again,” said Percy finally, and Sally’s heart broke for real that time. What was she even supposed to say to that?
“Percy,” said Sally carefully. “I cannot promise that you won’t go through that again. But I can promise that you will never be alone doing it.” Percy sighed. “I know it is difficult for you,” Sally went on. “And I probably won’t ever be able to fully understand. But…you can talk to me, if it makes it any easier. You can confide in me. I am here for you.”
Another sigh. “It’s just…Tartarus, mom, it…it was…it was the worst. I…” He trailed off, his eyes becoming glassy and unfocused. “The…the air was acid, and…” Sally listened, as Percy gave her a rough account of Tartarus, leaving out the details, but sharing more with her than he had ever dared share. Sally knew that she would have nightmares from just this undetailed retelling. She couldn’t imagine what Percy had to deal with.
“And it isn’t just that,” Percy went on when he’d been silent for a while, Sally comforting him quietly. “I…I am afraid of losing Annabeth.”
“Why would you lose her?”
“She…what if she doesn’t want to stay with me? What if I am…too broken, what if we are too broken, what if she is always reminded of her own trauma whenever she sees me, and what if…” He trailed off again.
“Listen to me,” said Sally. “If I know one thing about Annabeth, it is that she loves you just as much as you love her.” A tear ran down Percy’s cheek. “And you share the same trauma, and it only makes your relationship stronger. If there is one thing you know about each other, it’s that you would literally go to hell and back for one another.”
“But…”
“Percy, you fell into Tartarus for her,” said Sally. “You went through it so she wouldn’t have to do it alone. Annabeth knows this. Annabeth loves you. And she would have done the same for you.”
Percy was crying now, tears running down his cheeks as he sobbed into Sally’s pyjamas. It was hard for her to hold back her own tears. Paul would have to bear the brunt of that later.
“I love you, mom,” said Percy, and Sally gave him another kiss. “Thank you.”
Sally didn’t respond, sensing there would be more. She was right.
“Ever since…ever since…” Percy’s voice broke. “Ever since Jason…the nightmares have been more intense. I just…he was one of my best friends, and…he’s just gone, and…”
There was nothing Sally could do or say to help him relieve the grief and trauma of brutally losing one of his closest friends. She couldn’t imagine what that would feel like. The closest experience she had to that was losing her parents, but she had been so young back then and barely remembered. To have one of your best friends murdered…Sally shuddered at the thought.
“I’m so sorry,” she said finally, and Percy let out an audible sob.
“It’s usually not this bad,” he said after a while. “When I’m with Annabeth…we both have nightmares. We help each other. And I don’t want to depend on her. But her presence helps.”
Sally looked away, trying not to cry. There truly was nothing she could do to make life easier for her son. Percy seemed to sense the shift in her mood.
“Your presence helps, too,” he said. “But Annabeth…she gets it.” Sally knew what she meant. She had never seen a friend die. She had never had to hear the news of a friend being brutally killed in combat. And she had never had to walk through literal hell in an attempt to save the world. A successful attempt, but traumatic nonetheless.
“I know,” said Sally. “I’m glad you have Annabeth. And I bet she feels the same.”
“I just wish that…I wish that Jason was still here, and that I could properly get over everything.”
“You probably know this, but give it some time,” said Sally. “You won’t just digest everything in the span of a few months, or a few years, even. You weren’t granted a break in years. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I know,” said Percy, swiping angrily at his tears. “I know.”
“I know you know.”
“I know you know I know.”
“This will get confusing very fast,” said Sally, and Percy let out a small laugh. There it was, that beautiful sound that she loved.
“Thank you, mom,” said Percy, wiping at his eyes one last time.
“Always.”
Percy gave her a smile. His eyes were red and swollen from crying, his cheeks puffy. All of a sudden, he looked so much younger than he was. “Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here.”
“Always,” repeated Sally.
“I love you,” said Percy, hugging her closer even more.
“I love you, Percy, so, so much,” said Sally. As if on cue, Paul opened the door, holding tea in his hands.
“And I love you both,” he said, smiling as he handed Percy the tea. Percy took a sip and grimaced at the hot temperature of the beverage.
“I keep forgetting that I can burn my tongue on hot water,” said Percy.
“I guess even Poseidon’s powers have their limits.” Thunder grumbled in the distance, and all of them shared a chuckle. Sally sat on the edge of Percy’s bed a little while longer, staying next to her boy to make sure he was truly okay. He was much calmer and at ease now, sipping on his tea as if nothing had happened. He was so resilient. He shouldn’t have to be. And yet here they were.
“Go to sleep, both of you,” said Percy. “I’ll try to sleep some more, too.”
“Percy…”
“Please, mom, you’re exhausted. Go rest. I’ll be fine.”
Sally heard in his tone that he didn’t want to be contradicted. “Alright. But if you need anything, anything at all, you call me, alright?”
Percy nodded. “Promise.”
“Okay, sweetie.” Sally kissed his forehead.
“Thanks, mom.”
“Always, Percy.”
They left Percy in his room, though Sally had a bad feeling about it. She knew she could trust her son, but leaving him after such an intense nightmare made her uncomfortable.
“He’ll be okay,” said Paul in the hallway, his voice low.
“I hope so,” said Sally.
“We’re here for him.”
Sally kissed him, and Paul kissed her back. She loved her husband beyond words. She couldn’t possibly express just how much she adored him, and how fond she really was of having him by her side. Together, they lay back down in bed, and Paul made sure to tuck her in before kissing her cheek.
“You’re being a great mother,” he said, as if sensing one of her biggest insecurities rising and breaching the surface.
“I hope so,” said Sally, and suddenly, she couldn’t keep the tears in. Paul saw it coming and he draped his arms around her, hugging her close to his chest to comfort her. A nice gesture, and Sally loved him for it. Bless Paul for sticking around, despite having all the Greek stories thrown right at him. Bless him for staying, when he could have easily walked away.
“I see you, and I hear you,” said Paul, “and I know that Percy is incredibly lucky to have you.”
Sally must have fallen asleep at some point, because her tears had dried when she opened her eyes again to the sound of someone knocking at her bedroom door.
“Yes?” said Paul, also awake.
“Can I…can I come in?” said Percy, his tone hesitant.
Paul gave an affirmative answer. “Of course, Percy.”
The door opened, and Percy strolled in. “I can’t sleep. I thought I’d be able to, but…”
Paul and Sally shuffled on the mattress, making space between one another. “Join us,” said Paul, and Sally patted the mattress between them. Percy didn’t hesitate a second before he did, settling in between them as Sally hugged him to her chest again. She knew physical touch was something Percy appreciated, and she was glad to see that he visibly felt at ease right away.
“Hold fast, Perseus,” said Sally. “I love you.”
Percy fell asleep in her arms almost instantly. He wouldn’t be okay for a while. The trauma and memories would haunt him for years to come. Sally would feel guilty for a long time. But they had each other. They were there for each other, no matter what. They could always count on each other. Family was the most important thing. They were whole, they were alive, they were together. For now, that was the most important thing.