Chapter Text
“What kind of ship is it?” Anakin asked as they walked down the hallway. “Do you know what kind of engine it has? Do you think the pilot would let me look, or will there be an engineer on board? Maybe I could talk to them?”
Obi-Wan tried to focus on his Padawan. The young boy’s presence was almost overwhelming in their newly formed bond, and Obi-Wan had been shielding as best he could without blocking Anakin out entirely while his mind lingered elsewhere.
He wanted to give Anakin a clear answer. He was a master now and masters should answer their padawan’s questions. Masters could connect with their padawan over a training bond without getting a headache, no matter how blindingly bright in the Force their padawan may be. “I don’t know Anakin,” he said finally. “You’ll have to ask the pilot when we get on board.”
Obi-Wan mentally went back to the list he’d been compiling. He had about a day and a half before they got to Coruscant to prepare for Anakin’s transition to the temple. First thing would be a call to the Creche Department to register a new youngling, then immediately contact the Council of Placement to get Anakin transferred from the creche to his care as his padawan. Anakin would need to visit the Healers for a checkup. They had gotten the chip out, yes, but Anakin would need vaccines and bloodwork to establish a medical history. The paperwork that would finalize Anakin’s place as a padawan would need the council’s approval. Would Master Yoda still support their partnership? Would the rest of the council accept Anakin? What was he supposed to do if they didn’t? His chest tightened at the thought.
They rounded the corner to the doors to the hanger. Already, much of the damage from the battle had been repaired. Obi-Wan’s gaze quickly found Masters Yoda and Mace Windu where they stood outside the ship. All four would take the ship back to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. With the Masters, was Queen Amidala in full regalia flanked by her handmaids and guard.
Obi-Wan bowed to the queen when he approached, then to the Jedi masters. He nudged Anakin through their bond and he clumsily did the same.
“Your Majesty,” he said. “Masters.”
“Knight Kenobi,” the queen responded. “Anakin,” she said, smiling. Obi-Wan felt a burst of happiness from Anakin through their bond. The boy projected so strongly, Obi-Wan wouldn’t have been surprised if the other masters felt it too. Obi-Wan would need to teach him how to shield soon. “I thank you for your protection.” Amidala looked directly at Anakin, “ and for your friendship. Naboo is in your debt. If either of you should find yourself in need of aid in the future you will be welcome here.”
“Thank you, your Majesty,” Obi-Wan said, bowing again.
“Take this.” Amidala pressed a closed envelope into his hands then stepped back. “I wish you all safe travels.” Obi-Wan and the two masters bowed. Masters Windu and Yoda climbed onto the ship. Obi-Wan turned to guide Anakin up as well. The boy stepped forward before stopping, suddenly around and flinging himself at the queen. She jolted, surprised for a moment, before returning the hug.
“Bye Padme,” he whispered.
Obi-Wan flushed. He could feel the disapproving gazes of those around him, especially that of Master Windu. Should he stop Anakin? Should he say something about using her title? Well, it certainly was too late now. He would just have to talk to the boy later. Another addition to the list.
“It’s time we depart.” Master Windu’s stern voice broke through Obi-Wan’s thoughts. Anakin stepped away and squared his shoulders. He turned around and his eyes caught Obi-Wan’s. The movement caused the boy's short braid to bounce against his cheek. He reached up to touch it and something in his gaze set. Determination flooded their bond. At Obi-Wan’s nod, they walked into the ship.
…
The ship was small. Master Windu immediately went to the cockpit. Obi-Wan couldn’t sense anyone else on board, so Master Windu must be the pilot. Master Yoda retired to his own room, but not before he guided Obi-Wan and Anakin to the cabin they were to share for the remainder of the trip. There was just enough room for two small bunks, but it did have a fresher attached, for which Obi-Wan was grateful. Anakin sat on a bunk, and Obi-Wan sat on the other.
Obi-Wan put the envelope in his travel bag. He couldn’t bear to look at it now. He leaned forward, resting his head in his arms and closed his eyes. How many times had he traveled like this with Qui-Gon? He half expected to open his eyes and his master there on the other bunk. On instinct, he reached out through his old training bond, only to flinch as he brushed up against the broken edges.
“Mr. Obi-Wan?”
Anakin’s voice brought him to and he opened his eyes. “Yes, Anakin?” he asked.
“Do you think the pilot will let me look at the engine now?”
Obi-Wan sat up. “Master Windu is piloting this flight,” He said. “But I’m sure you could ask him if you like.”
Anakin frowned. “Nevermind.”
Obi-Wan winced. He understood Ankain’s hesitance. Master Windu clearly disapproved of Anakin’s admittance to the order, and the boy was keenly attuned to those around him.
Windu’s disapproval stung. He knew the older Master’s opinion shouldn’t matter, but he had been a friend of Qui-Gon's. Obi-Wan remembered many days of coming home from classes to find Windu and Qui-Gon having a spirited discussion over tea. Windu had even helped Obi-Wan with homework sometimes. Obi-Wan wished he could turn to him now. Instead, he drew his shields tighter around him. He couldn’t let either of the older masters sense his turmoil. Any slip of fear might show them the truth, he was not worthy of being knighted and Anakin would be taken away.
“So what do we do now,” Anakin asked.
“I need to make some calls,” Obi-Wan said. “You can…”
Obi-Wan trailed off. His first thought was Anakin could meditate or read while he worked. That’s what he had always done on long journeys with Qui-Gon. But Anakin couldn’t meditate without guidance yet, and-
A question occurred to Obi-Wan. “Do you know how to read?” he asked, then immediately regretted it. Shame crept across the bond as Anakin shook his head. ‘Right,'' Obi-Wan said. He looked at Anakin, trying to school his expression into something neutral. He was a Knight and a Master now. He was better than the panic that he felt welling up inside him. How was he going to do this? Anakin was still looking to him for an answer and reassurance. He needed to tell Anakin that he didn’t think poorly of him. He needed to tell him that he would teach him how to read and how to meditate. He needed to talk to the Healers and the Crechemasters. He needed to learn how to teach a youngling to read. He needed to meditate. He needed Qui-Gon. He needed…
“Are you hungry,” Obi-Wan asked, standing up. “Let’s find the kitchen.” Not waiting for Anakin’s answer, he opened the door, then looked down with surprise.
“Knight Kenobi, Padawan Skywalker, come with me, you will.” Master Yoda stood in front of him.
Obi-Wan blinked. “Yes, Master,” he said, and he followed Master Yoda out of the door.
…
The three of them found their way to the cargo hold which was mostly empty. Three mats were already waiting on the floor. Master Yoda sat on one. Obi-Wan and Anakin took the other two. Anakin shivered. Obi-Wan should have found a robe for him before they left. He thought about giving Anakin his own robe, but froze under Master Yoda’s gaze.
“Are we going to meditate now?” Anakin asked.
“We are,” Master Yoda replied. “Formed a training bond yet, have you?”
“We have, Master,” said Obi-Wan.
“Hmm,” the old Master hummed. Obi-Wan felt him reach out and brush his mind. “Strong already, your bond is.”
“That’s good, right?” Anakin asked.
Yoda chuckled. “It is, young padawan. Unusual, perhaps. But good, it is.”
They all closed their eyes. Obi-wan dropped his shield around Anakin enough to guide him down to a light meditation. Obi-Wan released a breath as he fell into the Force. He hadn’t been able to meditate since his vigil and his grief had only been building since. The fight against the darksider left Obi-Wan feeling… sticky. He knew the darkside still lingered around him. He had to dispel it before it could affect Anakin.
Unconsciously, Obi-Wan began to sink deeper into the Force. A jolt of panic yanked him back. Anakin! Obi-Wan realized by going into a deeper meditation, he had let go of Anakin. He pushing away guilt, he rejoined Anakin in the light meditation, firmly anchoring the boy’s presence beside his own. He felt Yoda’s presence join them.
“Afraid, you are.”
The old Master spoke, but the three stayed in their meditation. Obi-Wan winced at the reprimand. He should have found time to meditate and release his emotions earlier. Now through their shared meditation, Master Yoda was sure to see he wasn’t fit and send Anakin away.
“I’m not afraid,” Anakin said.
Obi-Wan chided himself and readjusted. This meditation was for Anakin, not him. He thought back to his early days in the creche when he was first learning to meditate. Then, the master leading the meditation would form a temporary bond in the Force to keep the initiate anchored and keep track of their well being in the Force. Obi-Wan focused again on Anakin and reached out to read his presence. Obi-Wan realized that Anakin was clinging to his presence in the Force. He was cold and very, very afraid.
“Deny your fear, you should not,” Master Yoda said. “Only to the dark side, does fear lead.”
“The dark side?” Anakin asked.
Obi-wan thought again to the warnings he heard many times throughout his childhood in the creche.
“The dark side of the force corrupts and destroys Jedi,” He said. “It grants users great power, but at the cost of their morals and in some cases, their sanity. It starts with fear. Holding on to fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side. The consequences of a jedi falling to the dark side are severe. That is why we release our emotions to the force, let it bring us peace and balance.”
Obi-Wan could feel Anakin's confusion. A fundamental lesson and he was already messing it up.
“It was a dark sider who killed Qui-Gon,” he added.
“Oh.”
“Understand your fear, you must,” said Master Yoda, “If conquer it, you wish to.”
Anakin was still hesitant. Maybe a different approach would be better.
“What are you worried about, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked. “I know so much has happened but think of one thing and we will start there.”
“Well,” Ankain hesitated. “I miss my mom. I don’t know if she’s safe or if I’ll see her again.”
“Expected, such worry is,” said Master Yoda. “Good, acknowledging your fear is. Now, to the Force, give it.”
Anakin’s presence did not change and another shiver threatened to bring him out of the meditation entirely. Obi-wan helped him grasp the shadowy sliver of worry and give it up to the Force. Anakin sparked with the beginning of understanding. Obi-Wan knew this was temporary, that Anakin was far from understanding what it meant to be in communion with the Force; but, for the first time, he realized they could get there. Together.
Even after releasing his worry, Anakin’s presence ached with loss. Obi-Wan sent comfort along the bond.
Yoda’s presence tugged at Obi-Wan’s own, urging them both to emerge from meditation.
“A good start, that was,” Yoda said. “Run along young Skywalker. To the kitchen’s go, and put together a midmeal. Talk more with your master, I shall.”
Anakin looked to Obi-Wan for confirmation, and he nodded.
“Yes, sir.” Anakin said, And he quickly scampered out of the room. Obi-Wan watched him leave, then looked to the old master.
“Still grieve for Qui-Gon, you may,” Yoda said, his voice gruff, but kind. “Less of a Master, this does not make you.”
“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan said softly.
“A good Master, you shall be Obi-Wan. Let go of your fear, you must. Much guidance young Skywalker will need.”
“I know, Master.”
Obi-Wan felt Master Yoda reach out to him through the Force.
“Hmm, touched by the darkside you have been. Lingers within you it does. Let it overcome you in battle, you did not. Let it overcome now, you shall not.”
“Yes Master,” Obi-Wan repeated.
“Forgot that my support you have, do not. Talk to the council on your behalf, I will.”
“Thank you, Master.”
“Hmm,” the old master hummed thoughtfully. “Join your padawan for midmeal, you shall. Meditate more, I will.”
Obi-Wan nodded and rose, but he didn’t leave.
“Master Yoda, do you believe the Sith was acting on his own? In the stories, the Sith came in pairs, a master and an apprentice. If he really was a Sith and not just a darksider then there is another out there somewhere.”
Master Yoda frowned. “More contact with the darksider than anyone else, you did. What do you believe? Just darksider, was he?”
Obi-Wan thought back to the battle, to the miasma of darkness the man carried with him, and the darkness that still lingered within him.
“I believe he was a Sith apprentice,” Obi-Wan decided. “He had power beyond any darksider I've encountered before. But, he was young, and I’m just a pad- I was just a padawan. I could never have taken down a fully fledged Sith Master.”
“Not unless fall, you did," Master Yoda confirmed.
Obi-Wan bit his lip, “Master, I felt the dark. I almost let it take me.”
“Embrace the dark side you did not,” Yoda insisted. “Only traces linger still. Expected such traces are after a battle, after a loss. With meditation and time, leave you it will. The matter of the Sith, discuss with the council I shall.”
Obi-Wan could feel Anakin tugging at the bond from across the ship, but there was one more thing he had to ask about first.
“Master, he said. “The dark side that lingers, it isn’t enough to …. infect Anakin, is it? I know he has fears of his own and I promise I will speak to him, but I don’t want to make him worse. I promised Qui-Gon-” his voice broke.
“Protected from you Skywalker does not need to be.” Yoda said firmly and Obi-Wan felt his belief through the Force. “Meditation and time, you need. Fear for the boy, do not. Help you, he may.”
Obi-Wan felt a weight lift from his chest.” Thank you, Master,” he said with a bow. He turned to go.
“Knight Kenobi,”
Obi-Wan turned around again.
“Knight Vos, friends you are, still?”
“Yes, I am.” Obi-Wan said, curious. Quinlan was an old friend and they made sure to see each other whenever they were both on Coruscant. Last Obi-Wan had checked, Quinlan was away on assignment for the Shadows.
“When return to the Temple we do, contact him you should.”
“Yes Master.” Obi-Wan bowed one last time, then left to join his padawan in the kitchen.
…
The rest of the day passed with a blur. Anakin had found an old mouse droid and a tool set somewhere, Obi-Wan wasn’t going to question it, and spent the afternoon glued to his side tinkering. For his part, Obi-Wan set the meeting with Master Yoda out of his mind and focused on going through his list. He called the Creche and the Council of Placement. He scheduled a meeting with the Quartermaster and made an appointment with the Healers. He worked through the list mechanically, all the while avoiding the mission report form that waited to be completed on his datapad.
In between calling the Council of Placement and the Quartermaster Obi-Wan realized Anakin was still shivering. He paused, then shrugged off his robe. Wordlessly, he put it over Anakin’s shoulders.
“Thanks,” Anakin said, looking up at him with a smile, then he yawned. Obi-Wan couldn’t help but yawn too.
“I know you’re tired,” Obi-Wan said. “But we’re going to have to stay up a bit later tonight. It will help you adjust to Coruscant time.”
“How long till we get there?” Anakin asked with another yawn. He was disassembling the mouse droid for the third time that day.
“About 10 hours now.”
“And what-”
Obi-Wan’s comm rang. “I’m sorry, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said with some guilt. “I have to take this.”
And so the day went on. Later, Obi-Wan put together a late meal for Anakin, then went back to filling out the forms for the Department of Placement. Anakin stayed close by, silently assembling the mouse droid once more. Neither Master Yoda nor Master Windu made an appearance. If Obi-Wan attuned to the Force around him, he could feel them in the ship, meditating.
Obi-Wan was staring at the mission report form, willing himself to start, when he felt pressure against his arm. He looked down to see Anakin, breaths even with sleep, leaning against his arm. Obi-Wan sighed, suddenly completely overwhelmed. Anakin deserved better than him. But, Obi-Wan knew, he was all Anakin had right now. Obi-Wan knew he had to step up, better. Getting the boy to bed would be a start.
“Anakin.” Obi-Wan nudged him. Anakin started and sat up.
“Huh?”
“Time for bed,”
“Ok, Obi,” Anakin said, voice muddled with exhaustion.
At the nickname, Obi-Wan froze. He was suddenly overwhelmed with affection for the boy. He guided him up, still wrapped in the robe, back to their bunks. Anakin lay down without complaint, pulling the blanket up to his ears. Obi-Wan opened the bond to send soothing calm, and Anakin was soon fast asleep.
Obi-Wan lay down on his own bunk, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t want to sleep. He didn’t want to dream. Instead, he decided to meditate until the ship landed.
…
“Anakin, wake up,”
“Hmm,” Anakin groaned and rolled over, clutching the blanket close.
“Anakin,” The boy’s face scrunched in displeasure at being disturbed, but he didn’t wake. Obi-Wan sighed, slung his travel bag and Anakin’s over his back. Then he leaned down and picked the boy up. Anakin leaned against his chest. Obi-Wan felt his huff of breath against his neck. He carried Anakin out of the ship and into the Jedi Temple. Master Windu raised an eyebrow when he saw them. Obi-Wan did not meet his eyes. Still holding Anakin, Obi-Wan bowed respectfully to the Masters, then left towards his own quarters.
It was well into the night cycle so the temple was quiet. Obi-Wan was grateful. He did not have the strength to deal with questions or sympathy. He made his way to the residential wing where master/ padawan apartments were to be found. He came to his door, typed in the code and walked in.
The apartment was just as he’d left it, was it really only a week ago? He shifted Anakin in his arms as he looked around the room. His gaze settled on the coffee table in the main room. Qui-Jon had left a half drunk cup of tea out again. How many times did Obi-Wan have to remind him before the man would finally remember-
Obi-Wan realized he had been staring at the cup for a while. His throat was tight, tears threatening to fall. He was suddenly exhausted. His arms and back ached, but he couldn’t move.
Anakin left out another sigh and squirmed, settling more heavily in Obi-Wan’s arms. Obi-Wan blinked, finally looking past the table and down the hall. He walked to his room, he supposed it would be Anakin’s room now, and with a nudge from the Force, opened the door. He lay Anakin down, then went to the closet and got another blanket. He wrapped it around the boy. Another check through their bond confirmed Anakin was sound asleep. Obi-Wan realized he was tired too. He stepped out of the room, closing the door halfway behind. He walked back to the living room and lay down on the couch. He lay staring at Qui-Gon’s teacup until he fell asleep.